Hey, Halsey here, with a… really long, really Flangsty oneshot. This got longer than I thought it would! I was thinking about anarchy in geometry, and this was born. Nirvana+Glee=Kurt CoBlaine! … enjoy.
Blaine drummed his fingers on the steering wheel of his shiny new Buick Regal, nonchalantly humming Nirvana's "Come As You Are" to himself as he sat at a red light. This was not the type of music Blaine usually listened to. Usually a Top 40 junkie, he had only recently gotten into the band when Wes had pointed out that the group's singer shared his boyfriend Kurt's first name, and David began referring to the pair as Kurt CoBlaine. It was Kurt Blaine was hoping to surprise by showing up at his house in the new car. The boys hadn't seen each other in days, and he couldn't wait to see Kurt's face when he arrived…
That is, if he ever got there.
The red light seemed to stretch on into infinity. An impatient Blaine raked a slim hand through his dark curls and gave an exasperated sigh. Why was the traffic so bad at eleven in the morning? After what seemed like hours, the light turned green and Blaine floored it. Just a few minutes and I'll be in Lima! he thought, smiling.
As Blaine turned into the Hummels' driveway, he wished that his cranial jukebox would switch to something a little les… ewww. "Territorial Pissings" wasn't really cohesive with his mood… He tried to think of something less grungy, but the best his brain was willing to come up with was "Smells Like Teen Spirit."
Blushing slightly, Blaine rang the doorbell of Kurt's house. He knew Finn would be at football practice, since Beiste had redone the schedule to better prepare her team for the season ahead. Burt and Carole were away for the week, taking a well deserved belated honeymoon in Florida. Blaine fondly remembered how Kurt had whined over not getting to go along and visit Disneyworld. With the rest of the Hummel-Hudson house gone, Kurt was home alone, and Blaine knew he would appreciate the company.
From inside the modest two-story house came the sound of feet rushing down a flight of stairs.
"I'm coming! Give me a sec-" the fashionable boy threw open the front door and stopped."-Blaine?"
Blaine grinned his adorable grin at the sight of his boyfriend.
"You- you didn't say you were coming!" Kurt stammered, flustered at having his boyfriend see him in such a state.
"I wanted to surprise you." Blaine said, gesturing to his car. Kurt peered past Blaine to the sleek silver vehicle parked in his driveway. "It's not a Cadillac, but I thought we could go for a ride…"
Kurt frankly didn't feel like getting dressed and doing his hair or doing much of anything after- after last night. So in reply, he suggested in a way he thought was suggestively, "Why don't we just stay here?"
Blaine laughed at Kurt's attempt to be "sexy" He remembered all to well the time before they were dating, when Kurt had been trying to up his sex appeal. All he succeeded in doing was prove his lack of experience.
"Sounds good to me!" Blaine said, as Kurt took him by the hand and pulled him indoors. The two went upstairs to Kurt's bedroom, where Blaine took Kurt into his arms, inhaling the familiar smell of… Teen Spirit? Kurt usually smelled like a combination of cologne and perfume, masculine and feminine, but this was all girl. He stepped back, examining Kurt for a clue to why he smell so female.
He took in the familiar blue eyes, the thin lips played with the hint of a smile, and the rumpled hair- wait. Kurt Hummel, fashionisto extraordinaire, did not have rumpled hair. No matter what he was doing , be it morning, afternoon or night, school, date, studying-even sleeping!- Kurt Hummel always looked perfect. And as his boyfriend looked him over, he saw that this was not the case.
There were dark circles marring the porcelain complexion of Kurt's face, and his hair was disheveled. And, as Blaine had not failed to notice the moment Kurt opened the door, Kurt's usual morning ensemble of silk pajamas and a plush robe had been traded for a t-shirt and boxers. He had all the symptoms of someone who had had a late night. Combined with the mysterious chick smell, that could only mean one thing. No. Kurt- he couldn't… No way he wou-
"Blaine, honey, is something wrong?" Kurt asked, concern in his blue eyes.
Blaine shook his head. "No, no. I'm fine. Sorry, just… I missed you."
At this, Kurt giggled in that musical way that always made Blaine fall deeper in love with him, and all thoughts of adultery were abandoned. "It's only been four days!"
"I know, I know. But that's still four days too long…"
"I missed you too, Blaine Warbler."
Kurt placed his soft lips on Blaine's. The boys slowly moved to Kurt's bed, where Blaine noticed that that too was in an un-Kurtlike state of disarray. Blaine tried to ignore the nagging voices in his head telling him something was up, but it was impossible. As he sat with Kurt, who was planting kisses all over his neck and head, he couldn't rid himself of the fear that he was being cheated on. He allowed himself to enjoy kissing Kurt, but was snapped out of his reverie when the familiar strains of Beyonce's "Single Ladies" filled the room. Blaine was closer to the bedside table where Kurt's phone was ringing.
Picking up the sleek cell, Blaine noticed a flashing message reading: ONE NEW MESSAGE. He didn't recognize the number. Blaine touched the "Read Now" button and gasped in horror
Hey Honey! I had such a great time last night! ;P can't wait to do it AGAIN!
"Kurt." Blaine breathed.
"Yeah, what is it?"
"What the hell is this?" he said, holding up the cell phone so Kurt could see the screen.
"Oh, Blaine, it's, it's not what it looks like-"
"Tell that to your girlfriend! God dammit, Kurt, how could you?" Blaine got up and began to storm out.
"Blaine-" Kurt cried, standing to catch p with the shorter boy. But he was out the door. Kurt sat back down on his bed and cried.
Tears were streaming down Blaine's face. Dammit, Kurt was cheating on him. And with a fucking girl. How? Why? Kurt had to be the gayest guy Blaine knew. He was always so- out, so proud, so fucking confident in who he was. And now he was with some floozy? It didn't add up.
Calm down, Anderson. There has to be some explanation. Well, he could be… cross dressing? No. Kurt was definitely a boy, as much as he sang like a girl. And anyway, that didn't explain the text… or the bed…
Choking on betrayal, Blaine drove back to Dalton on the verge of breakdown. Kurt had been the only person Blaine had ever felt safe enough to open up to, to tell how he really felt. He loved the boy and trusted him despite the relatively short time they had known each other. And now he had gone and betrayed that trust.
For the second time that day, Blaine was stopped at a red light. Seconds turned into years. In an attempt to drown out the silent screams in his head, he turned on his new ride's stereo as loud as it could go. As the bridge of Nirvana's "Where Did You Sleep Last Night" blasted through the small vehicle, the light turned green.
Body freshly wracked with sobs, Blaine twisted the dial to 104.5, the local pop station. "Written in the Stars" was just ending, and Blaine instantly recognized the thrumming intro to Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream." It was too much for Blaine, who hit the stereo's power button with all the power he could muster.
On the day Blaine had first met Kurt, the Warblers had performed the song. Kurt always insisted that Blaine had been singing to him, -"but you just didn't know it"-he always said. Kurt had been spying on the Warblers, his school's competition for sectionals. Blaine, Wes, and David caught on quickly, and confronted him at the Lima Bean. They were cool about it, but Kurt ended up spilling the details of his experience being bullied McKinley to Blaine. One look at Kurt's crystalline blue eyes, welled up with tears, made Blaine's heart go out to the slim boy. He had been there: Blaine had transferred to Dalton because of harassment he'd received about his sexuality.
Kurt eventually transferred to Dalton as well. Sometimes "Courage" wasn't enough.
Eventually, though it took forever, Blaine realized what he felt for Kurt. The pair got together when Pavarotti died. There was something Kurt's performance of the Beatles' Blackbird that just made Blaine fall for him. Since the Warblers' crushing loss to New Directions at Regionals, the boys had been inseparable. Even when Kurt faced his fears and returned to his old school, that blissful feeling of young love lingered around the two as they went about their lives at different schools.
But now, Blaine thought, it was all over.
"Hey man, we thought you were spending the day in Lima!" Jeff calked as Blaine stomped up the dorm stairs. As he reached the top, where Jeff and Nick had been arguing over solos (as usual) it became evident to the pair that something was wrong with the curly-haired tenor.
"Anderson, What's up?" Nick inquired, concerned at the usually dapper, charismatic Blaine's dejected slump and red-rimmed hazel eyes. Blaine didn't answer.
"Something happen with Hummel?" asked Jeff, but Blaine just kept walking, after shooting the blond boy a vile look. Hew slammed the door of his room and flopped down onto his navy blue comforter, and just cried.
Tears marked Kurt's blue satin pillowcase. Kurt sniffled and rolled over. He reread the message that had caused Blaine to freak out. Then in spite of himself, he laughed. Blaine thought—he thought he'd been with a girl! Well, he had…
Kurt wiped the tears from his eyes and looked around the room. Makeup, moisturizers, and lots of glitter were scattered all over the dresser. Magazines and CDs littered the carpet; evidence of not a "sleepover with a girl," but a sleepover with the girls, Tina Rachel, Mercedes, and Lauren. Kurt could smellthe estrogen in the air… and perfume. Lingering above the usually pristine living quarters was a feminine odor, girl sweat and shampoo. The room was a mess, and Kurt could see why Blaine had jumped to that conclusion. I'll call him later. But for now, Kurt just wanted to go back to bed.
"Dude, Blaine, you gotta get up!" Wes urged, shaking the curly haired lump under the covers awake. Blaine rolled over and blinked at the face above him, and promptly re-buried his face in his pillow.
"Seriously, you're gonna be late to Biology!"
"I don't care," came the muffled reply.
"Yes- you- do!" Wes grunted, tugging the covers off of his roommate. Blaine had fallen asleep in his uniform. "Take a shower, man, you're a mess."
Reluctantly, a bleary-eyed Blaine stumbled out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. He glimpsed his reflection in the mirror, and had to admit Wes was right: his face was blotchy, and his hair had broken from the helmet of gel he used to tame his wild curls. He stripped off his dirty slacks and jacket, and stepped under the warm jet of water. When he was done, he pulled on another identical uniform and headed for breakfast without shaving or fixing his hair, something unheard of for the usually dapper young man.
Everyone at breakfast was curious to know what was wrong, but Blaine's mannerisms made it clear that he didn't want to talk about it. He kept his head down, avoiding the questioning looks from the other boys. He continued this silent demeanor throughout all of his classes. In Warbler practice, he was flat, he was sharp, he tripped over choreography and he forgot the words. As soon as it was over, he retreated back into his and Wes' room. Flopping down on his bed, he checked his phone.
4 new calls.
9 new messages.
He ignored them all, not ready for Kurt's excuses. For the second day in a row, Blaine fell asleep with his clothes on.
Why won't he answer? Why won't he call me back? Kurt wondered as Blaine's phone went to voicemail for the seventh time. I just need to tell him the truth. Kurt closed his phone, tears pooling in his blue-gray eyes. He shut them and leaned back into his headboard.
Three days passed, with Blaine going about his routine on autopilot, floating through school in a daze. He still refused to believe that Kurt would cheat. There was no way.
"Hey, Kurt?" Mercedes said gently.
"Yeah, Cedes?" Kurt replied, picking his head off his desk.
"I'm sorry about… the thing with Blaine."
"So am I, Mercedes, so am I."
"Since you seemed to be taking it kind of hard, Rachel and I wanted to see if maybe you wanted to have another sleepover? You know, watch Barbra Streisand movies, and do makeovers…"
"Say no more. I'm in."
"Don't tell me not to live-" Blaine instantly recognized Rachel Berry's ringtone. Why would she be calling me? Blaine wondered as he answered his cell.
"Hey, Blaine!"
"Hi, Rachel… What's up?"
"Oh, nothing. Well, I need your help with a song." Blaine chuckled. Rachel Berry, ask for his help?
"I find that hard to believe."
"Well, Nationals is in a week, and we sounded so good last time we duetted…"
"Rachel, you were drunk."
"I was tipsy"
"We were both drunk. We made out, remember?"
"Yeah…" Rachel sighed, voice tinged with nostalgia.
"Rachel, I'm gay."
"I know. Anyway, about tonight…"
"Tonight?" Blaine asked incredulously.
"You're coming over to help me with my song, remember?"
"Who said anything about tonight?"
"Me." Rachel said, matter-of-factly.
"Fine, Rachel, you win. What time?"
"How about… now?"
"Now?"
"Yep."
Blaine sighed. Westerville to Lima was a long drive.
"Fine I'll be there."
"See ya then!" There was a click at the other end; Rachel had hung up. Blaine grabbed his keys.
On the other end of the line, Rachel Berry grinned. Exactly as planned.
"Don't feel like pickin' up my phone, so leave a message at the tone" Kurt hung up. It had been nearly a week, and Blaine was still ignoring him. He sighed and shoved the phone into the pocket of his skinny jeans.
Ding-Dong! "Kurt, Mercedes is here!" Carole called from the living room. She and Burt had gotten back from Florida, with stories of sand, surf, and sunburned to share with their suns.
"Kurt raced down the stairs. He threw open the front door to find Mercedes standing there in a silver sweatshirt and cloth headband.
"Looking marvelous as usual!" Kurt exclaimed, wrapping his best friend in a hug.
"And you too, Kurt, loving the scarf!" Mercedes grinned.
"Thanks, I got it yesterday… Retail therapy!"
"Amen! So, you ready to go?"
"Yeah, I think I packed everything…" Kurt said, motioning towards the colossal stack of luggage inside the door.
"Honey, it's just Rachel's house!" Mercedes laughed.
"What's your point?" asked Kurt, mock-annoyed.
"Come on, let's go!" exclaimed Mercedes, grabbing the smallest bag off the top of the pile. Kurt gathered his multitude of bags and headed after her.
"Bye, Carole!"
"Goodbye, Kurt!"
"Rachel, we're here!" Mercedes shouted as the pair entered the Berrys' colorful home.
"Down here!" a voice came from the basement.
Mercedes and Kurt stampeded down the stairs. What they saw before them was slumber party Mecca.
"Damn, Berry, you've outdone yourself." Mercedes strode over to the folding table, upon which Rachel had laid out the most extensive assortment of makeover fare ever seen outside of Kurt's basement.
"That's not even the best part!" Rachel teased, pressing a button on a sleek silver remote. Her guests gasped in awe as down from the roof descended a huge flat-screen TV. "My dads had it installed last week!" She beamed proudly.
"Okay, so that only leaves one thing: what do we watch?" Kurt gestured toward the stack of DVDs on the floor.
"I was thinking The Way We Were." Rachel suggested, citing one of her favorite Barbra Streisand films.
"Haven't you already seen that, like, a thousand times?" Mercedes quipped.
"I could go for it again," Kurt supplied.
"Barbra and Redford it is." Rachel stated, sliding the disk into the DVD player. The movie started, and Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes huddled on the sofa sleeper, Rachel humming the opening theme softly.
About five minutes into the film, the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it!" Rachel shouted, jumping up, causing Mercedes to spill her popcorn all over Kurt.
"She seems exited. Is there someone coming she didn't tell us about?" Kurt wondered as he picked buttery kernels off of the front of his shirt. Mercedes didn't have time to speculate with him. A pair of voices drifted down the stairs:
"You smell familiar."
"It must be my deodorant. It's Pop Star scented."
"I see."
Rachel stepped into the basement—with Blaine.
"What are Mercedes didn't have time to speculate with him. A pair of voices drifted down the stairs.
Rachel stepped into the basement—with Blaine.
"What are you doing here?" Kurt demanded.
"What are-" Blaine began, but stopped as he took in the scene. Kurt was in bed with a girl. Mercedes. And they were watching a movie. It was that kind of "sleepover." "Oh my God. Kurt, I can't believe I was such an idiot." He walked over to where Kurt was seated, and took Rachel's place next to him. She stood at the foot of the stairs, looking smug. "You- you weren't cheating on me at all!" Blaine said, shocked at the realization of his idiocy. "Why didn't you say something?"
"Believe me, I tried."
"Oh." Blaine felt like a moron. If only he had answered any of Kurt's calls. "Will you forgive me?"
"Maybe…"
"Kurt, I—"
"Shut up, we're watching a movie." Kurt snapped, but not without a quick grin.
Blaine stopped talking, but snuggled closer to his boyfriend.
Mmmm. He thought. I could get used to the smell of Teen Spirit.
Hope you enjoyed! I know it's kind of silly. Whether you liked it or not, review, por favor! To paraphrase the incredible Kurt Hummel, "Reviews are like crack to me!"