For those of you who saw the pairing and thought "waaaah?" or even "How do?!": I'm trying something new, interesting and... rather crackish. Let me know how it went. I feel dirty ;-; I sincerely doubt I'll ever write any sort of continuation. I'm a little scared as to where that might lead.
Disclaimer: League of Legends is not my own. Thanks go to GrimGrave for putting up with me in general.
How About a Drink?
Singed was, by every definition of the word, a madman. But he was a madman with taste.
A self-proclaimed connoisseur of libations, the Zaunite scientist frequented the dingiest, most disreputable saloon in all of lower Zaun—for it was there and only there that he could find a brew of the most exquisite quality. Never mind the fact that the place was a magnet for thieves and scoundrels or that half a dozen people had died consuming their poisons of choice that month alone. If trouble reared its head, the man knew how to take care of himself.
He was a tank without compare on the Fields of Justice. There was nothing that could make it past his defenses—no onslaught he couldn't withstand.
Or so he thought.
Singed pushed open the swinging half-doors leading into the saloon and was surprised to see a familiar hulking purple form that was far too large for the stool it perched on. More dumb beast than man, Mundo was slouched over the bar, a mug of ale that was dwarfed by his massive size clutched in a meaty fist. He was slobbering, a direct result of his too-large tongue, as he tilted its content into his mouth.
It was odd seeing the other Champion here—in fact, this was the first time the chemist had ever run into the Madman of Zaun outside of the Fields of Justice…
With a shake of his head, the bald man strode past the bar and went to the other side of the establishment where he could drink in relative peace. Some long tables better suited for dining had been pushed into a corner to make room for a group of rough looking men playing cards and he chose to sit at one such table with his back to the wall.
From the colourful language issuing from the group, someone was playing dirty.
'Simpletons.'
A waitress who had recognized him quickly hurried over with a frosty class and a decanter containing a fizzing green liquid, her breasts threatening to pop out of her ill-fitting top. She had tried to throw herself at him at one point before, but the loose, easy temptation wasn't his thing and that had earned him a reputation for being somewhat of a stoic.
'All the better.'
Still…
His eyes roamed the woman's shapely rear, swaying as she flounced away.
… that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy the view.
Singed scoffed as the card players got rowdier and sipped his drink. It burned as it slid down his throat, a pleasant sensation that drowned out the riffraff and put him in a much better humour. He pushed his chair back, reclining on its rear legs, only to flinch when hands the size of hams rested on his thighs.
'What in the—?'
… How had Mundo managed to wedge himself under the table? More importantly, what was he doing down there?!
Curiosity got the best of the chemist and he watched as the male snuffled like a bloodhound that had just caught a scent, his face ruddy.
'He's drunk.'—he had to be. Singed glanced around, but no one seemed to be paying them mind; the corner was sufficiently sequestered from any prying eyes. The "drunk" theory was further reinforced by the way Mundo jammed his face between the bald man's legs, nuzzling his crotch, and Singed frowned, but didn't move. His body responded despite himself, his cock stirring and pressing up against the front of his pants.
Just how far would Mundo go?
The purple man—if one could still call him that—crooned, deftly unzipping Singed's pants and releasing the man's burgeoning erection. It was almost fully at attention—due to a mixture of not having been attended to in some time and the thrill of possibly being spotted—by this point. Mundo's big pink tongue slid along its length, empty white orbs focused on the task at hand, and the bald man released a quiet groan.
Why did this feel so good? He had to find out… F-for science, of course.
Mundo eagerly slurped down Singed's cock, easily managing its entirety in his huge mouth. He bobbed his head, tongue swirling around the mushroom head of the chemist's member, and Singed flinched, burying his fingers in a mop of dark hair.
'Heavens above…' —the purple giant was talented. Singed couldn't help but buck his hips, the heat that enveloped his cock sending shivers along his spine. He wanted more than anything to blow his load—to succumb to the tight coil of pleasure that made his hips twitch and his eyelids flutter—but motion caught his attention. The barmaid was coming back, a second decanter in her hand, and he scowled, quickly waving her away. He would have sneered at her hurt expression had he not been struggling to stave off the all-consuming wave of ecstasy.
That talented mouth applied suction and that task became damn near impossible. Singed shuddered, the legs of the chair screeching as they slid backwards.
'Fuck…' Mundo was taking his cock all the way to the hilt, burying his nose in the reddish curls at its base.
Singed grunted, tightening his grip, and the Madman of Zaun seemed to realize what that meant, because his tongue caressed the sensitive underside of the bald man's cock as he pulled his head back until just the tip remained. He nibbled gently as a giant finger tickled the balls below, and the chemist lost it.
Orgasm swept through Singed with astonishing intensity and his hips twitched. There was an almost inaudible 'pop!' as his erection left Mundo's mouth, his abdominal muscles twitching and sending globules of cum spattering onto the purple giant's face.
Mundo didn't seem to be at all bothered by the mess. In fact, he licked his mouth clean with his extra- long tongue before wiping his face clean with the back of his hand, all while Singed watched, panting slightly. The chair fell onto all-fours, jolting the man from his stupor and he watched as Mundo crawled his way back to the other end of the table.
"…"
Singed scoffed, draining the rest of the decanted without bothering to pour it into his class. As he zipped his trousers back up, he gestured impatiently for the barmaid with his free hand.
He needed a few more drinks before he could even begin to consider what had just happened.