Baby You're Worth It
All Things Go
"We find the defendant guilty of murder in first degree .."
Emily's eyes widen, as a mix of emotions swivel across her face.
Shock, disbelieve and utter guilt.
Guilt for putting Alison in this position.
Guilt for being willing to plant fake evidence, being capable of such betrayal, granted at that time they truly believed that Ali did kill Mona.
The brunette is brought back to what's happening infront of her, as Alison releases a loud sob.
"This can't be happening, this is not happening", Emily mumbles as her voice cracks.
As Ali's eyes find Emily's, the brunette feels like the wind has gotten knocked out of her and she chokes out a silent plea, "Ali .."
It's true that she and the blond haven't been on good terms these past few weeks, barely speaking to each other never mind Emily visiting Ali in jail before the trial.
Partly because of the painful guilt Emily has been feeling every time she's been around the blonde, partly because of the unresolved and suppressed feelings between the two broken and scarred girls.
This is not what Emily wished for.
She never wished for this constant fear, the constant threats, the lying and manipulating.
All she ever wanted was to live a life where she's feeling save and loved.
A life where she and Alison maybe could be more than friends, more than lovers, something serious. And now, now the chance for this to ever happen seems impossible, unrealistic. Having dreams in a world, where they come crashing down like airplanes seems just ridiculous.
Emily's lost in her thoughts until her eyes catch Ali getting handcuffs on, way to roughly, for her linking.
She wants to scream, scream from the top of her lungs, that Ali's innocent, that they're making a huge mistake, shout out that Alison's being framed, and the blonde didn't do such a horrific crime, but no words come out.
She can barely think straight but one thought crosses the brunettes mind over and over again:
this is my fault, what have we done, what have 'I' done
"Em..", a distinct voice calls out to her and it takes Emily several seconds to recognize who the voice belongs to.
Alison.
Ali is calling out to her.
Alison who's been found guilty of murder is calling out to her, her of all people.
The one who's distrust hurt the blonde the most, because despite all the lies the blondes been telling the girls, she truly meant what she said to Emily. Those kisses were never just for practice, how could they be when the brunettes been the only one Alison has ever let in this much.
"Em it's ok, it's gonna be okay, it's okay, it's okay",Emilt hears Ali choke out through tears.
Ali's eyes are red, full with endless tears that keep falling from her heart shaped face, her gaze only fixed on Emily, until Ali's voice falls into a whisper that can barely be heard, repeating the same words
"it's okay..".
And that's when Ali is roughly pushed out of the courtroom and Emily's left with the
cold truth, that part of this is her fault as her heart feels like an invisible hand has squeezed it so painfully that she has to support herself on the bench in front of her to keep her knees from giving out .
Losing my mind, losing my mind, losing control
The car ride back home with Spencer and Aria is quiet, no one daring to speak.
Emily's been numb, not responding to anything the girls have been asking.
Exhausted and emotionally drained, Emily decides to head straight up to her bedroom, hoping that sleep will overtake her and keep her mind off of Alison.
The next morning and mornings after that, Emily always wakes up with a feeling of dread, still tired but not being able to sleep longer than a few hours.
Months pass without any progress.
Months in which Emily loses parts of herself more and more.
Determined to get Alison out of jail, she searches for every possibility, every little detail any proof of the blondes innocence.
No mattter how hard she works, no matter how deep she searches, it always leads to a dead end.
Ever since Alison has been in jail, a lot of things in the girls lives changed.
Emily for one isolated herself from the girls, from anyone really.
The blonde always on her mind.
Even though Alison's been allowed visitors and the other girls have been visting her regularly, Emily hasn't been able to do so.
The others girls didn't betray her the way she did, the others girls haven't been with Alison the way she did, haven't kissed her and watched over her, when the blonde girl wasn't able to sleep.
Their betrayal dind't hurt Alison as much as Emilys did.
Their turned backs didn't destroy Alison as much as her back did.
It's easy to forgive someone you've never been intimate with, than someone who's touched parts of you no one other has.
Deciding to get a grip, the brunette decides to visit Ali, hoping the blonde will want to see her and that her absence hasn't send the wrong signals.
It's not that Emily doesn't want to visit Ali, God there's nothing more Emily wishes for, it's just that she's been feeling so incredibly guilty.
Sitting across a glass wall, the brunette is waiting for Alis arrival, picking up the phone that is attached to the glass wall.
Emily's eyes instantly water, as Alison takes the seat on the other side of the glass wall.
Refusing to break apart in front of the blonde, Emily closes her eyes, willing the tears to not fall but failing miserably.
"You look tired..", Alison rasps out and from the tone of her voice it's obvious, that Emily's absence has been sending the wrong signals.
Emily's eyes fix on every part of Alison, except her eyes, until the blonde whispers out a, "..you can't even look me in the eye."
Not knowing how to handle the iciness between them, Emily blurts out he first thing that crosses her mind, "I missed you."
"Really?", Alison asks, "..because from where I am standing your absence doesn't really show me that does it, Em?"
"Ali..", the brunette starts but gets caught off by the blondes " it's okay Em, you don't have to explain, I don't want to fight."
"So, how are you holding up ?", the blonde girl asks after taking a deep breath.
The dry laugh Emily lets out, has the blonde girl closing her eyes, knowing what the brunette will answer.
"You're behind bars and you're asking me how I am holding up?", the brunette responds.
"It's just..", the taller girl continues, ".. I just really missed you. No, I did.", she cuts the blonde off who opened her mouth to say something.
Taking a deep breath and searching for the blondes gaze, until she's sure she has her full attention, the brunette repeats "I really really missed you and this is not easy for me either ok ?"
"I'm just..", the brunette chokes out, "this is too much Ali, I don't know how to get you out of here.", sobbing quietly.
"You're not allowed to break.", the blonde girl whispers, silencing the brunette immediately.
Tears forming in her eyes and trailing down pale cheeks, that once had a rosy color Alison breathes out, "you're not allowed to break, because I won't make it either if you don't ok ?"
"TIME IS UP, DILAURENTIS!", a strong female calls out.
"You'll visit me again, right ?", Alison asks with scared eyes.
"Of course."
"You promise ?", the blonde begs.
"I promise you, Ali", the taller girl states, not breaking eye contact until Alison is out of sight.
Months later the girls find the evidence they need to proof Alison's innocence.
Lay me down
It's been a couple of days since Ali's been out of jail, neither girl finding the courage to seek out each other's company.
Even though Emily swore to herself that she'll visit Ali as often as she can, the brunette has been to afraid to be confronted with the blonde.
Deciding that staying at home and overthinking everything won't do her any good, she goes for a walk in hopes of clearing her head. The couple of times Emily saw Ali, the blonde's been distant, barely looking at her never mind speaking.
It's obvious for Emily that the time in prison has changed Ali, broken her in ways she'll never be able to fathom, imprinting her soul with scars that probably won't ever heal.
The brunette knows her former lover too well than to believe the though exterior Alison's pulling up, knows her too well to know that the blonde isn't as strong as she wants people to believe.
How ist the brunette supposed to believe her, when every time she's starring into deep blue eyes all she's able to see is emptiness and hurt.
Realizing that it's getting late and that it must have been a couple of hours in where the brunette has been lost in thought , she decides to go back home, taking her time while doing so.
Emily herself doesn't understand why it's so hard to just talk to the blonde and she swore to herself, God she swore herself, that given the chance to make amends with Ali she'd do it in a heartbeat, fuck all the misplaced feeling, the lies, fuck everything, Alison has been in jail, Emily thought that this was it, that she'll never get the chance to be with Ali again and here she is living a few yards away from her and the brunette still cannot find the courage and all she wants to do is to hold the blonde until she's whole again, hold her until they both stop hurting.
As hard as it has been on Alsion, it hasn't been easy on Emily either, seiing the girl she's been with in more than one way suffer like this, hasn't been easy.
Walking up to her room the raven haired girl stops dead in her tracks as a tiny whimper catches her attention.
Scared that it's another A attack, but fed up with the hatred towards this mysterious person, she runs up to her room, only to find a certain blonde sobbing on her bed.
The crack of the door making the blondes head snnap up, Emily's heart shatters as blue eyes, which she'd recognize everywhere, link with her own deep brown ones.
Not knowing how to handle the situation the brunette stands frozen at the door, until a silent "Emily" from Alis beautiful lips have her rushing to the bed.
Kneeling down she runs her hands through blonde locks, hoping to give her the comfort she seems to need right now.
"Ali what's wro...", Emily starts before she stops herself from asking such a stupid question, because what's not wrong.
Not being able to stop the tears from forming in her own eyes, the brunette chokes out a whisper "God Ali..".
Only as the blonde fists the brunettes shirt and starts tucking her towards the bed, Emily lays next to the sobbing girl.
Never once breaking eye contact Ali starts holding the brunette tighter.
Burring her face between the brunettes neck, she lets out a strangled breath, while the brunette breaths her in.
Not knowing how to calm down the blonde, Emily starts humming a soft tune, which has the blonde looking up into brown eyes instantly.
The blondes tears seem to lessen and the empty look is being replaced by the tiniest shine in blue eyes and the smallest smile on beautifully pink lips, one so small, but so full of meaning for the brunette.
To Emily Alison is beautiful even with red eyes and tears strained cheeks, a beauty that is breathtaking, wouldn't it be so tragic.
The blondes gaze still fixed on Emily, Ali starts to lean up, closer to the brunettes space, until she's invaded by the blondes scent. When ragged breaths hit her cheeks in short bursts, the brunette loses all sort of control and lunges forward, tasting those pinky lips, she's been dreaming of for months now, claiming them as her own, claiming Alison as her own.
Lost in passion Emily runs her tongue along the blondes lips, hoping the blue eyed girl will grant her access. As if reading her mind, the blonde instantly opens her mouth, just wide enough to let the brunettes tongue in.
It's not an overly sexual moment, this is not what it is about. This is about two girls, who have been broken in more then one way seeking out each other's company, this is about longing and love, yes love, because even though how much either girl tries to deny it, they always end up in each other's arms, deep down they both know what this means.
When air becomes an issue, both girls break apart, only to reunite a second later.
Hands start to roam and tongues continue to battle, both girls start to want more, so the brunette start leaning forward, until Alison's on her back and tugs an the blondes shirt. Lifting her arms the blonde helps Emily to get rid of the unwanted barrier, wanting to feel the brunettes skin on her own, her heartbeat beneath hers, Ali also tugs on the brunettes shirt.
Not wasting a second the brunette sits up and throws her shirt on the floor, not caring where it lands.
Claiming the blondes lips again, she starts to trail her kisses over wet cheeks, tasting the salt from the tears before. Alison's releases a strangles breath, as the brunette licks and nibbles on her collarbone.
"Em, please..", Alison moans out breathlessly and Emily knows exactly what the blonde means.
Determined to fulfill everything Alison wants, the brunette unsnaps her bra as well as her own. Leaning down, both girls gasp as warm breasts touch each other, both girls hard nipples dragging over skin, creating an indescribable pleasure.
Alison rasps an "Oh my god..", under her breath.
Kissing down between the ally of the blondes breasts, the brunette takes a swollen nipple into her mouth, sucking and liking it softly, the blondes silent moans and whimpers spurring her on.
Releasing her nipple with a 'pop', Emily lavishes the girls others nipple with the same attention, until she's kissing a trail of kisses down the girls stomach, sucking and licking it lovingly, dipping her tongue into the girls navel. Painfully slowly, giving Alison a chance to back out, to stop everything, the brunette unbuttons the blondes jeans, revealing a black lacy pantie.
The buck of the blondes hips tells Emily, that Ali wants this just as much she does, and judging by the wet patch on the blondes crouch Emily is sure that neither girl will last long. Alison is writhing beneath the brunettes administrations and as both girls jeans are off, Emily wastes no time in kissing the blondes still clothes pussy.
"Emily..", the moan Ali releases has the brunette almost coming right then and there.
Hooking her fingers in the strings of Alison's panties and dragging them down slowly, the brunette is instantly met with a glistening center and the unique smell of the girl she loves so deeply.
Once the undergarment is tossed aside, the brunette hooks the girls legs over her shoulders and strokes her tongue through the girls folds, savoring the her taste.
Alison hands instantly grip brown locks, holding her in place, silently begging her not to ever stop.
The once slow strokes grow harder and faster and as Emily attaches her lips on the girls clit, the blondes arches up so much that Emily has to grab her hips to keep her down.
Feeling a gentle tucking on her head, the brunette looks up, without stopping her ministrations.
Blue and brown eyes lock instantly and a choked out "I'm close, please kiss me..", has Emily lunging forward kissing the heart shaped lips, letting Alison taste her self on her tongue.
Both girls moan and Emily wastes no time and slides two fingers through the girls folds. Alison digs her nails into the brunettes shoulder blades and as Emily enters her swiftly with two fingers the blondes arches up her back and releases the brunettes lips from the bruising kiss, to let out a loud, drown out moan.
Her toes curl and her back arches as her orgasm takes over her whole body, walls fluttering and trapping the girls finders deep inside her. Riding out her orgasm, the blonde realizes, that a moaning and whimpering Emily is riding out her own orgasm. Breathlessly, Emily collapses on top of the blonde, both girls sweaty bodies rubbings on to each other in the most delicious way, while Emily is still buried in Alison.
Several minutes pass and when both girls catch their breaths, Emily pulls out of Alison making the smaller girl gasps. Alison curls into Emily, one leg in between the brunettes, arm circled around a slim waist, nose buried between the brunettes neck, breathing her in.
Emily starts to draw lazy patterns on to the girls back, lazy patterns turning into small sentences, a habit the brunette picked up years ago, when speaking became too much.
"I missed you too..", to blonde whispers making the brunette look down into gorgeous eyes.
"That's what you wrote isn't it?", Alison's asks with a small voice, a voice so small that it breaks Emily's heart, because the blonde has never been so insecure.
"Yeah, that's what I wrote..", the brunette answers, while looking deeply into blue eyes.
Hoping to ease the tension, the brunette writes another thing.
Hi.
"Hi..", Alison repeats both girls laughing, Alison leaning up and gently pecking the taller girls lips.
Alison settles back into the brunettes embrace and closes her eyes, enjoying the moment of peace, until a sentence Emily's been writing on her skin has her head snapping up.
"What?", the blonde asks with tears in her eyes "what did you just write?", she raps out as tears stream down her face.
"I love you", the brunette answers simply, her gaze never faltering. Emily's been unsure so many times about Alisons feelings for her, about the awkward in between relationship, but the past several months made Emily realized that there's been one thing she's been sure about and that is, that she's been in love with the blonde since she's been 14 years old and that she's tired of hiding her feelings and she's sure that deep down Alison feels the same for her, so she takes the jump hoping that Alison will catch her.
Several seconds pass, before the blonde lunges forward.
Alison's kisses the brunette so hard, that Emily falls on her back from the force.
The blondes kisses her deeply for several seconds, than leans up holding the face of the girl beneath her lovingly with two hands and whispers against the shell of her ear "I love you too Emily, so much..", kissing the spot right behind it.
"I'm so sorry I hurt you so much Em, I'm so sorry please forgive me..", the blonde leans her forehead against the brunettes, her tears falling down on the girl beneath her.
Emily reaches up and wipes the falling tears away with her thumps, shushing the girl above.
The brunette sighs in defeat and swallows hard, "And I'm sorry that I hurt you Ali, I'm so sorry for not believing you like you begged me to, I'm sorry for always doubting you, for being willing to plant fake evi.." she chokes out before Alison stops her.
"No it's okay Em, I deserved everything..".
"No it's not okay Ali", Emily cuts the blonde off, "we hurt each other so many times and I don't want to hurt anymore Alison, I'm so tired", the brunette rasps out, tears falling from both girls faces.
"I want to be with you Alison, you and me we're it, we're meant to be, and we can try to deny it as much as we want but we will always end up in each other's arms because I love you and you love me..", the taller girl states, her voice cracking at the end.
"And I know that too much happened and I'm not saying that it'll be easy to get over everything we've been trough , but I'm willing to try and to make this work because I've been going around now too long without you and I don't want to anymore..", the girl sniffles, grabbing Alison's hands that are wiping her tears and kissing each and every knuckle softly.
The brunette takes a shuttering breath and continues, "What I'm trying to say is that I want you to be my girlfriend, I want to claim you as my own and i want to be yours to claim, I want a clean slate. Us starting over. Me and you, because I lov..", without having the chance to finish the sentence, Alison is straddling the taller girl and kissing her senseless, letting hands roam, until she loses herself in the brunette. Trailing kissing all over the naked girls body, every single one with an another meaning.
I love you.
I miss you.
I've always been yours, you've always been mine.
Damped in sweat and lying side by side, holding on to each other, never truly breaking contact, the blonde whispers against the brunettes lips, "I love you Emily. Thank you for never giving up on me."
Both girls barely able to keep their eyes open, Emily whispers out "Baby, you're worth everything".
END