A How To Know Guide for Derek Shepherd: Ways to know if your significant other and best friend are into each other. . . .
#1
It's a pretty pretty clear indication that your girlfriend and best friend are into each other if they quarrel ... Quarrel? ... Yes, if they quarrel like jealous lovers.
It was a Monday afternoon, and Mondays are usually when the 'Montgomery' in Addison Montgomery, blares out like a rabid beast. Because, you know, it's Monday and nobody in their right mind ever really like Mondays. Nobody. So, like most Mondays, if not all, and that particular Monday, she was in one of her 'moods' when she and Derek met up for coffee after their day at Columbia had ended.
She yelled at the cab driver for stopping at the junction of Amsterdam and 113th Street to let a frumpy old couple - 'freaking Jersey slowpokes' as she so eloquently put it, cross the street.
In Addison's opinion if you can't walk fast enough, then don't walk at all.
Well, he can't really fault her for speaking her mind out loud and unnecessarily so, he must add, because they're in New York City after all.
What's that they say about New Yorkers?
He, also, didn't tell her to calm down because he didn't need to get on her bad side on a Monday.
Tuesdays, maybe. And Wednesdays, definitely. But never Mondays.
He's been there and surprisingly, he survived.
She insulted the barista's deplorable latte-making skills at the cafe, asking him if he'd learnt to make coffee in some sort of penal reformatory institute.
Derek can only hope the guy hadn't spit into their coffees. He did look slightly infectious with the dark circles and waxy veneer.
She glowered at the waitress at the restaurant when she came over to check if there was anything else that they needed. Addison had told her that if there was, she'd be the first to know, but in the meantime and because she'd have better luck there too, she should just return to her regular job of working the streets 42nd and Murray Hill, instead of making googly eyes at her boyfriend.
His eyes grew wide in shock when she said that. And he reddened in embarrassment for Addison's colourful way of words.
What's gotten into his angel who wouldn't hurt a fly?
This - the Montgomery beast, her mood - isn't like her. It's got to be more than just hating Mondays.
Derek, himself, couldn't seem to do or say anything right as well. Addison didn't exactly yell or insult him, that behaviour was only reserved for people she's not quite fond of and besides it wouldn't fit into her picture of how a perfect girlfriend should act, even when piqued. But when Derek asked her how her parents were doing, she thinned her lips. When he told her how pretty she was looking, she only sighed. And when he asked her if she had had a good weekend (he had been in Rochester visiting his grandmother.), she just glared at him and looked as though she wanted to scratch his eyes out.
Derek didn't have a clue what was the matter with her. Obviously something was wrong, but he knew better than to ask what. He'd learn from Mark that you should never ask a woman what's wrong.
They might tell you. And that's just like opening Pandora's box.
He discreetly tried to survey her boobs to see if they were bigger than usual, speculating that raging hormones might be to blame.
Oh god! What if she's pregnant?
Unfortunately, he wasn't discreet enough. She had caught him and crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him from across the table.
"Are you done staring at my breasts, Derek?" she arched a brow, "Stop it, will you? You're not a horny teenager anymore! We need to actually start the proposal for our SP. The due's in two weeks from now and I'd like to make sure I have your full attention." Addison questioned waspishly.
"Huh?" he replied in a daze, dragging his eyes to her face. "Oh, um, yeah, of course." he finished sheepishly.
She pursed her lips and took on a distinctly school marm-ish expression. Derek had a feeling that at any moment now, she would produce a ruler and rap him over the knuckles with it for his inattention.
"God! Don't boys ever think about anything else other than sex?" she asked in disgust.
"In my experience, no." a familiarly deep drawl interjected from behind Addison.
Mark had appeared without attracting either Derek or Addison's attention. He easily insinuated himself into the seat between them, eyes never leaving Addison's face, which was contorted with even more contempt and hostility than she'd displayed to the unfortunate waitress earlier.
Derek was amazed at how calm and detached Mark could remain in the face of such wrath. Addison's rage at Mark's sleazy demeanour had obviously extended beyond its usual level, yet the other boy did not even blink. His smirk was still fixed firmly in place.
"I especially think that it is highly unlikely you would find a boy, or for that matter a fully-grown man, capable of thinking of anything else when they have a gorgeous redhead before them in a skirt and thigh highs." Mark continued, leering at Addison's legs. "You might want to get used to it, Red."
Now normally this was the sort of comment that Addison would pretend to hate but secretly love, because she accepted it as the compliment Mark intended it to be. They're only acceptable coming from Mark. But instead of slapping him and telling him he was heinous or disgusting (all the while wearing a small, secretive smile.), she continued to regard him with icy contempt.
"Was there something you wanted, Sloan?" she enquired coldly. "Or are you simply so starved for company you've decided it's no longer rude to interrupt private conversations?"
Mark's eyes narrowed at her asperity. Derek was kind of surprised himself. He knew Addison was in a bad mood, obviously, but if anything Mark was the one who could normally be counted on to lift her out of the doldrums.
Oh, they do argue. They always always bicker. Fairly frequently, in fact. But it was always with an air of banter and mockery as they tried to bait and one-up each other in a kind of friendly rivalry that had developed between them. Not with this undercurrent of genuine antagonism now emanating from Addison.
"Oh, I think you know I'm never short of company, Red." he countered curtly, eyes still trained intensely on Addison, barely seeming to even register Derek's presence. "As it so often happens I do frequently find myself double-booked."
This words seem to have a jolting effect on Addison. Her spine straightened and she suddenly affected a look of indifference. Yet there was a definite frission of tension in the air. Derek had the distinct feeling that his best friend and girlfriend were speaking in some sort of code impossible for him to understand, meaning more with their words than what they were actually saying.
"What are you doing here, then?" she asked nonchalantly. "We wouldn't want to take up any of your valuable free time." Her tone was diabolically, derisively sweet.
Derek decided it was time he interposed and defused the situation. "Actually, I asked Mark if he wanted to join us this morning. I was away for the weekend, so I thought we could all get together. Sorry I forgot to mention it."
Mark's eye contact with Addison was finally broken as he turned towards Derek, ending whatever cryptic communications had been passing between the two.
She also transferred her attention back to her boyfriend. She rolled her eyes.
"Lovely. You decided to invite your best friend on our date. How romantic."
Derek's forehead creased. Hmm, maybe that had been kind of dumb. "Well, you've never minded before." he pointed out feebly. She had always seemed more than happy to have Mark hang out with them.
When he added up the pros and cons of their relationship, it was one of the things he had always liked best about Addison, that she got on so well with his best friend. It had to say something about their compatibility as a couple.
Right?
Mark's attention was taken up by the waitress taking his order. He paid his usual flirtatious attentions to the girl, but having received her warning from Addison earlier, she did not respond. Nevertheless, Addison seemed to find something offensive in the spectacle and when she spoke again it was with renewed venom.
"Did it ever occur to you I don't always want to be hanging out with your jackass of a best friend." Addison hissed in a low voice as she leant across the table to Derek.
"Well, I honestly didn't think it would bother you. I mean I figured you hadn't seen him for a couple of days either while I was away, so I thought we could all ... you know ... catch up." Derek floundered.
She sat back in her chair, her face now clouded with a different emotion. She seemed embarrassed. And maybe ... guilty?
"Actually, Addison and I were supposed to spend the day together yesterday." Mark cut in smoothly. "But I'm afraid my Saturday appointment continued into the better part of Sunday and it somewhat wrecked our plans."
This was all relayed dispassionately, as if being of little interest. But taking in Addison's wan face and telling silence, Derek suspected this was the real source of her beastly mood.
"Oh" said Derek lamely. He'd never imagined that Mark and Addison would elect to spend the day with each other while he was away. Not that there was anything wrong with it. It just never occurred to him.
He quickly changed the subject by launching in to a recital of the things he'd done over the weekend. Mark had cooperated by offering the occasional witty remark or conversation filler.
Although it might have been evident to the more observant that there was a somewhat false note to the encouraging smile plastered on his face, and that he kept shooting covert glances at the still-silent Addison. Eventually though she too rejoined the discussion, albeit addressing all her comments only to Derek.
Finally, somewhat exhausted from his unusual role of being the most talkative member of the gathering, Derek excused himself from the table.
He procrastinated on his visit to the gentlemen's facilities, hoping to give Mark and Addison sufficient time to sort out their differences. Lingering as long as he could without raising suspicions that he was suffering from some sort of food poisoning.
As he re-entered the restaurant, he paused behind a Venetian screen that would shield him from Mark and Addison's view but enable him to listen in on their conversation, so he could determine if it was an apposite time for him to return to the table.
Judging from their crisp tones, it would seem it was not.
"Look, I've already said I was sorry, Addie." Mark said in a way that made him sound like he was not really sorry at all. "Maybe if you and Derek ever get around to do more than just hold hands, you'll realise it's easy to lost track of time in certain situations."
"Well, I would have expected you to be more respectful, that's all." Addison answered snidely. "The skanks you sleep with do charge by the hour, don't they?"
"Your bitchy side is showing, Red." Mark snapped. "And anyone can see the real reason why. You're freakin' jealous. And it's not a pretty colour on you."
"Oh, yes, I'm positively seething with envy for the poor girl you connived and seduced into your world of hedonistic exploitation. I so wish it was me who is having to worry about being tested for various STDs this week."
"I guarantee she had a better time than you did yesterday ... seething because I broke our plans."
"I did not seethe and I don't rely on you to fulfil my days. I have a handsome boyfriend who just so happened to be away over the weekend, and therefore no reason to be jealous. And when you failed to show, it wasn't hard to find someone to take your place. But, as you pointed out, you did break our plans and I just happen to find that incredibly rude."
"Forgive me if like any red-blooded male I enjoy having sex more than spending an entire day with you eating gelato, caviar and whatever else you rich people eat and watching movies so ancient that Grandma Montgomery wasn't even born yet."
Derek knew this had been Addison and Savvy's ritual before the blonde got herself a new distraction. He hadn't realised that Mark had taken over the tradition, in addition to the other ways he'd assumed the role of surrogate best friend.
"Well, don't worry, if my company is so awful, I'll be sure not to inflict myself on you again." Addison's livid tone had become more of a sob.
Mark seemed to soften slightly in response. "C'mon, Addie, you know awful is the last thing I consider you. Except maybe sometimes when you're going on and on and on about what it would mean to marry into the Shepherds'."
She snorted. "Now, look who's being jealous?"
Mark continued. "I've broken plans with other girls a number of times to come to the rescue in one of your so-called emergencies. And it wasn't the girl that kept me in bed yesterday so much as the massive hangover I was recovering from the night before."
"I don't care. Like I said, it's not the girl. It's about you being an unreliable bastard who can't be counted on to be there when someone actually needs him."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? I presume you know how to work the DVD player without me."
Silence from Addison.
Mark seemed to realise maybe there was something going on here that he didn't understand either. "Why? Why was yesterday so important to you?"
"I ... I just wanted to talk to you ... about something." Addison muttered. "But you know what, I'm glad that I didn't. I'm glad you reminded me what an insensitive ass you are. Just forget it. I'll never trouble you with my problems again."
Derek heard her chair being pulled back across the tiled floor.
"Addie, c'mon ..."
"Tell Derek I had to go and to don't bother coming over ... Just ... I'll see you tomorrow, Mark."
With that, she rushed out of the restaurant, not even seeing Derek as she passed him, tears already forming in her eyes.
When he came back to the table, Mark said that Addison had had to go home to study. He made no reference to the length of time Derek had been gone. He did not seem to have noticed.
Derek felt sorry for his best friend. Sure, he and Addison had had their own share of problems, but they'd never had a fight like that. He couldn't think of any other time he'd seen Addison so passionately enraged either.
He barely registered the fact that there was a small part of himself that was secretly quite pleased at the prospect of a rift between his girlfriend and too-charming best friend.
Addison and Mark?
There's a higher probability that he'd get struck by lightning instead.
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