Songs used are Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T's and Jar of Hearts by Kristina Perry
I apologize in advance and would like if you didn't kill me. Just leave your hatred for me in a review or something.
It was the 9th of September, 2012, also known as Blaine Anderson's first day of senior year.
Blaine trudged into the school, giving the familiar faces warm smiles, stopping to talk to Artie for a few minutes before making his way to his locker.
But everything felt different. Everything felt wrong.
Glancing around him, Blaine knew that he shouldn't be expecting to see the faces he was subconsciously looking for.
The face of his best friend, the dancing fool.
The face of the girl who drove him absolutely insane, but he loved her none the less
The face of the tall, gentle giant who Blaine had at least had some kind of friendship with.
But he was mainly looking for the face of his boyfriend.
Instead he was met with both familiar and unfamiliar faces – new freshman wandering around, eyes wide and faces pale. Transfer students, eyeing up everyone, seeing who their friends could be.
Blaine knew most of his friends were gone, most of them had graduated and moved on.
Most of them had left him behind.
All that was left of New Directions was Tina, Artie, Rory, Sugar, and Blaine.
Slowly walking to his next class, he felt like McKinley was an entirely different school than it had been last year. The atmosphere was different, the faces were different – or not so much different, but lacking.
And the rest of Blaine's first day went by the same. Class to class, trying to recognize any of the faces, trying to become familiar with his surroundings once again.
But the faces – he found himself not wanting to recognize them. Because, no matter how hard he tried, they wouldn't become the faces he wanted them to be.
Glee Club finally rolled around, the remaining five members seated in the risers as they waited for Mr. Shue to show up.
Blaine sat in between Rory and Tina, knowing that Rory was probably homesick and that Tina was missing Mike.
He glanced at the promise ring on her left hand, smiling a little when she caught his gaze and blushed.
Mr. Shue finally arrived, starting to talk about how he knew they'd lost a lot of people, but they'd make it work. They just had to recruit some new members.
But that was the thing – Blaine felt that it was almost like they were trying to replace them.
They were irreplaceable. No one could belt out a ballad like Rachel Berry. No one could play drums like Finn. No one could dance like Mike or Brittany.
No one could sit next to him and hold his hand like Kurt had.
The mood in the room was somber, everyone remaining quiet and barely listening while Mr. Shue rambled on about songs and how they would have to step it up in order to beat the Warblers at Sectionals.
He asked if anyone wanted to sing anything.
No one raised their hand.
No one spoke.
No one talked.
Everyone kept their faces neutral, yet they could all tell what the others were thinking.
The silence wore on, Mr. Shue staring at their emotionless faces with worry.
Hey there, Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
Blaine suddenly raised his hand, the surprised look on Mr. Shue's face causing him to smile a little.
He told him he had something to sing. So he got up and stood in the front of the room, watching as the few remaining New Direction's faces turned solemn as they recognized the tune.
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true
Blaine glanced around, slowly walking over to wear a guitar was leaning against the wall, throwing the strap over his shoulder and strumming, signaling simultaneously for Brad to stop playing and let him take complete control.
Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right here if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side
Tine was smiling softly at him, her face melancholy. They all knew why he was singing. They all knew whose face he was singing for.
Oh it's what you'd do to me
Oh it's what you'd do to me
Oh it's what you'd do to me
Oh it's what you'd do to me
What you'd do to me
And god, it was actually really sinking in how much he missed Kurt. It wasn't that he didn't miss him before, but, now that he was actually back at school with Kurt's beautiful face nowhere to be seen, it felt infinitely more real.
A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and streets and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Blaine swallowed the lump in his throat. God, there were nights where he had considered just leaving and going to Kurt – usually after a particularly rough patch with his parents. He would walk.
But it was never enough for him to resort to that. It was as if everyone could tell just how to not push him enough, giving him as much hatred and hurt as they could without sending him running.
And he hated them for it.
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time that we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame
That night, Kurt called him. Told him Tina had sent him a video of his performance. Told him that his face practically broke his heart.
Told him that's why he was breaking up with him. Because he couldn't stand being in New York and watching Blaine suffer at McKinley without him.
He said Blaine needed to move on, that he shouldn't stay attached to him when they couldn't even be sure the next time they'd see each other would be.
He said he'd never stop loving him, but it was time for what they had to end.
Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah, here's to you
This one's for you
Blaine cradled a picture of Kurt to his head, the tears streaming down his cheeks as he stared at the Kurt's face.
He cried himself to sleep, knowing that he would probably never see Kurt Hummel's face again.
The next day, everyone could tell what happened just by the way his eyes were – how bloodshot and red rimmed they had remained from the night before. They tried to talk to him, but he refused.
Tina seemed the most concerned. She was always watching him carefully, like she wasn't sure what his next move would be.
The months wore on, and even though it may not have been easier, it was definitely improving a little.
He wasn't moping anymore, wasn't withholding tears all during school and then rushing home and locking himself in his room, where his tears promptly bursted out.
Before Blaine knew it, it was May, meaning that all of the college students were finishing up their exams and coming home.
The first to visit was Rachel, her face practically glowing as she walked into the choir room, only to be greeted by mostly new faces. But the five returning members all rushed to her, enveloping her in a hug, all of their eyes a little misty.
She looked directly at Blaine, and asked him if he was okay.
He hesitated for a moment before nodding. He was getting there, he told her.
He wanted to ask how Kurt was, but he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to say his name.
But Rachel must have known, since she eventually mentioned him in passing. How he'd been struggling with his work load, how his grades had been falling and how distracted he'd become.
Blaine tried not to let it faze him, but he couldn't.
And then Kurt was walking into the room, his eyes worried and his stance broken.
And Blaine felt his heart break even more than it already was.
Everyone greeted Kurt then, the boy's face slowly lighting up, with only a small undertone of sadness. Blaine stayed back, ignoring Mr. Shue's worried eyes on him.
No I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
Kurt caught his eye then, bright blue meeting hazel for what felt like the first time in ages.
He vaguely heard someone calling his name, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from his beautiful face. It was the face he had been looking for amongst crowds since he left for New York in August. The same face he never saw.
I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
Kurt slowly pushed through the small crowd of people around him, taking small steps towards Blaine.
Blaine shook his head, the tears slowly welling in his eyes, but Kurt persisted on forward. He extended his hand out, tears in his own eyes, hesitantly reaching towards Blaine.
"Don't," Blaine choked. "Please."
And who do you think you are?
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of heart
Tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
Kurt said his name then, his hand still extended but not moving any further.
"I can't."
And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now that you're back
You don't get to get me back
Blaine sat in his room that night, playing the song on his guitar and singing softly to himself. He remembered when he'd given Kurt his bubblegum promise ring for Christmas his junior year, promising to be his boy forever.
What had happened? What had happened between then and the next September that had made Kurt just throw away everything they had?
He was broken.
But so was Kurt.
This time, however, they couldn't be broken together.
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Now I'm off to write a firefighter!blaine oneshot to make up for this hole in my heart, so...