DISCLAIMER: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight
Authors Note: Be nice okay? My first Lemon EVER. It was hard to write but l tried anyway.
Life wasn't fair. Everyone says that, but it really wasn't fair.
People with completely satisfactory lives complained that life was a bitch. They moaned that nothing ever went right for them when they had somewhere to live and money.
I wasn't one of them, my whole life wasn't fair. My mother was a drug addict, my father died of a drug overdose. I never once complained, l never moaned. I went along with my life and tried my best to get good grades so that l could make a life out of myself, so that l could never end up like my mother.
School wasn't even something l wish to remember, it fell apart the first day. Not only did l go to the worst school in the country, everyone knew me and everything that they thought went on in my life. I was the Chief's daughter whose dad fought against people for their drug abuse when he died from the same abuse. The first day was the worst.
Mom finally agreed to let me go to school. She needed me at home in case she overdosed and needed someone to nurse her back to health. After persuading a slightly high her, she nodded in agreement that l could attend a school, but she could choose it. I thought nothing of it, since there was about 3 schools in this pathetically small town. Forks, which was located in the North of Washington, housed 3,369 people. Everybody knew each other's problems. You would think people would sympathise the fact l lost my father but no.
He was the shame of the town, but because he died the shame passed on to his only child. Apparently, my father's mistakes were also mine. I resented that. I loved my father, but l would never go through what he and my mom experienced. I rather be dead, which he wished he was and now, he is. Drugs were the last thing on my agenda, l would never have them. Ever. The only time l ever experienced any drug use was when l was 5, my mom thought her cocaine was sugar so she sprinkled it all over my cereal. I collapsed and my parents didn't even take me to the hospital. They were afraid they would get caught. I nearly died and they didn't care.
Mom chose to send me to Forks high school. I wasn't very picky, at least l was given an opportunity to try and make something out of me. To say l was excited was an understatement. I didn't sleep that night whatsoever, l hoped out of my bed eagerly at exactly seven and rushed to the bathroom. I could hear Mom's snores in the living room of our small 2 bed roomed flat. We didn't have much money since she spent it all on the drugs and alcohol but l was fine with it. I learnt from a very early age that wishing for things was a terrible thing. People say 'sometimes you can't get what you always wanted'. No, l could never get what l wanted. I settled for the worst and still forced that smile because it was something.
I removed my clothing and stepped into the shower. I opened it and stepped away from it waiting at least 5 seconds before stepping towards the freezing drips. Mom didn't pay the water bills; they saw no need to give us hot water. I was used to it by the age of 7. The sharp ice drips fell onto my skin and l felt myself shiver. I didn't want to spend too much time getting ready, l would probably fall sick and then mom would be pleased to find the need to keep me home. That's if she actually lifted her head from the glass that contained the cocaine.
After scrubbing myself as softly as l could, l grabbed my royal blue towel, wrapped around myself and stepped out of the cold. I grabbed my clothing and started scrubbing each piece with soap and water. We didn't have a washing machine, l was the washing machine. After finishing that job, l hung my clothes on the railing by the door and walked out towards my room.
I didn't have many clothes to wear really. I wanted to impress people; l actually wanted a friend in this school. I was shy but everybody needed someone to talk to. I found a faded pair of boyfriend jeans that my mother bought at the charity shop down the road 3 years ago. Thank god they still fit. Slipping them on, a grabbed a tank top and a regular black, plain hoodie. I looked at myself in the long mirror and was satisfied. I looked decent enough to actually leave the house. I grabbed my red converses and quickly brushed my plain brown hair, l tied it up. I walked out of my bedroom, with bag in hand and towards the kitchen. I grabbed a breakfast bar, walked into the living room.
It was a mess as usual. No matter how many times l would clean it; mom would always bring her many male friends here and recreate the mess. She was lying on the couch, her legs falling over the edge. I sighed, waking her up would cause a problem but leaving without telling her would cause a bigger problem. I walked towards her and kneeled by her head, and softly shook her shoulder.
"Mom, mom l have to go" I didn't even recognise my own voice, l felt like crying every time l spoke to my mom. I felt like crying every time a called her mom. She didn't deserve that title. Nonetheless, she was my mother. She stirred in her sleep, mumbling something about fucking off.
I shook her again, this time her fist connected with my eye. I stumbled back, falling on my back. I quickly stood up and backed away from her. She opened her eyes and quickly scrambled of her sleeping position and quick walked towards me.
"I'm so sorry sweetheart! I didn't mean too! I thought you were trying to hurt me, l didn't know it was you!" She kept on rambling whilst she took her overly chubby hands into my hands. I held back the tears as she grazed her fingers across the pain on my left eye. I forcefully smiled and nodded quickly. She let go of me as l grabbed the bag that fell on the floor.
"I'm going to go mom, otherwise I'll be late" I didn't realise my voice was shaking as a whispered to my mother. She smiled happily and waved at me as l walked away.
My mother wasn't physically abusive. I would like to believe those times she hit me were accidental like today.
I didn't have any bus money but it didn't matter. The school was only 20 minutes away. Walking helped me catch up with my thoughts anyway. I was beyond nervous. I was actually quivering. As l got closer to the school, my pulse increased rapidly, my heart my beating dangerously fast.
The school wasn't big, it wasn't small either. I quickly guessed their school colour was green because of the green doors and banners all over the place. I felt my lips curving upwards as l walked towards the building. The parking lot was full of teenagers laughing and talking near their cars. Everyone didn't stop talking to stare at me, thank god although, some people whispered furiously at each other, trying to discreetly point towards me. I hated being the centre of attention so l fastened my walk and climbed the stairs, l didn't realise what was happening until l was falling backwards and landing on my ass. All the blood drained towards my face, with that- l blushed a rosy red whilst trying to scramble to my feet. Those who saw began laughing, pointing shamelessly.
I've been through much worse in my 14years of life but these were new people who l was hoping would actually like me. Big chance in that. I felt like running towards the bathrooms and balling my eyes out but what use would that do? Getting on my feet, l walked carefully up the 3 stairs and inside the green, double doors.
After receiving my schedule from the office, l swiftly walked towards my first class which had already started and blushed as everyone turned their attention towards me.
"Ms Swan?" the deep voice asked, l nodded towards the teacher who introduced himself as Mr Banner. He asked me to stand in front of the class and formally introduce myself. How embarrassing.
"Hi, um I'm Isabella Swan..." I looked down as l spoke, my cheeks were flooding with colour, l didn't know what else to say. My Banner cleared his throat and pointed towards the various seats in the room. I tried the one closest to me, the boy with gingery hair shook his head at me. I walked towards the next one, the girl with dark blue eyes glared at me before placing her bag in the seat next to her. I was on the verge of tears. I didn't know what else to do. I hesitantly walked towards the seat next to the girl with fierce blonde hair, with a hint of ginger in. She smiled brightly at me and to my surprise offered the seat. I sat down and Mr Banner carried on with his lecture of the insides of a frog.
I made a face as he mentioned that we would be dissecting a frog next lesson and the girl next to me nudged me.
"Disgusting right?" she whispered cheerfully. I looked at her and offered her a small smile and nod. She offered me her hand, quietly introducing herself.
"I'm Tanya"
I shook it and she giggled. She kept quiet the rest of the class. The bell rang; l grabbed my bag and quickly walked out the class.
"Hey Isabella!" Tanya bellowed my name. People stopped walking to watch her with excitement and humour aching in their eyes. I stopped walking and looked at her with a faint blush on my cheeks. She stopped in front of me.
"So l have a question to ask you," I signalled her to go on, begging for the on lookers to walk off but they didn't. I feel like I've just dug a grave for myself.
" I feel like we have some sort of connection you know? My dad did drugs too." I froze and she carried on, completely ignoring my colourless face.
"Yeh, he actually wasn't that bad. Well not bad enough to kill himself but still. He only did weed and stuff. Do you know where my dad is now?" I kept completely still as she carried on. Here l thought l found a friend but no, the torture lives on. I tried to walk away but she gripped onto my hand.
"He's actually in jail because your father" she pointed her manicured fingers towards me and her cheerfully energy turned dark. "Threw him in jail to rot for years, yet he was secretly snorting the white stuff. Let me ask you Swan; are you a hypocrite like your old man? Are you following his steps too?" I felt the tears staining my cheek but l couldn't walk away because she was gripping my arm pretty tightly. It would match with my already purple eye if l wasn't careful.
She forcefully shoved my back against the lockers and I whimpered. Smirking he got close to my face and whispered "I'm going to make your life so bad, maybe if were so lucky you'll die like your pathetic dad." She rounded up her saliva, I turned my head but no she wasn't having that. She grabbed my chin and turned it towards her. She spat into my face and released me. I crumbled to the floor, leaving her to give me one final kick before marching of proudly.
True to her words, Tanya made my school life a living hell; she never achieved her goal though. I could never bring myself to give in to my inner demons. I could never take my own life. I actually managed to finish high school with decent grades but my mother could not afford to send me to college.
As soon as l was 18, l left my mother sleeping in her high with my bags and ran as far as l could. I knew where she stored money; l took $5000 and climbed the next plane out of forks. I ended up in Chicago.
Life was never the same since then.
Arriving in Chicago was the happiest day of my life. I was away from my mother, away from Forks. I could finally be who l wanted to be. I couldn't afford college but l had enough money to last me 3months. I could get a job as a waitress or something and build my life from there.
First, l needed to celebrate. But how?
Leaving the huge Chicago airport, l told the taxi to drive me towards the nearest bar. I was never a drinker. Alcohol was my enemy but for once, l felt like it would be in use. I'm not an alcoholic; it would be a onetime thing.
It was a big city, l was afraid but for the first time in a long time, l felt excited. Though something was bound to happen to me, my life could never remain this good for less than an hour. I might as well enjoy the drama free me whilst it lasts right?
I entered this closed of bar with my hand luggage and softly smiled at the scenery. It was dark, not much could be seen and not many people were in the bar. I swiftly walked towards the bar. I sat in the middle and swivelled in the stool.
Oh happy days!
I didn't want to be this happy; l was a pessimist because all my life bad things happened. This was a new start, nothing could destroy my happiness.
"What can l get you?" I looked up at the bartender. He was good looking in the typical way. His long blonde hair was tied back; his tired eyes were somewhat irritated as he waited for me to answer. He had a little scruff under his chin.
"Um, surprise me!" I blushed as l realised l had no idea what alcohols were in the world. The bartender scowled as he grabbed a shot glass and poured something into it. He pushed it towards me and a gave him the required money. I've never drank alcohol, so l had no idea how on earth to take shots. I decided it would be better for me to do it quickly. I grabbed the glass and poured the liquor down my throat. I felt my throat burn in anticipation, sensation or maybe disgust. I don't know but it was exciting.
I sat at the bar, ordering shots after shots. I wasn't planning to get drunk but remembering this was a onetime thing l kept on going. At about round 7, l was slightly tipsy and giggly. The bartender, who revealed himself to be James, was smirking as he watched me giggling like an elementary child.
I felt someone take a seat next to me. I swivelled my chair around and the giggling came to a close. I didn't pay much attention to the men around me because they would either laugh at me for staring or completely humiliate me. There was no one interesting to me anyway.
Though, this man was exactly opposite of that. He has caught my interest by just a mere second of staring!
The first thing l noticed was his tousled hair. It was the strangest colour l had ever seen, bronze with hints of crimson and copper. It was beautiful; it stood out in all directions. It seemed like it had a mind of its own. The man attempted to calm his hair by running his what seemed like long fingers through it, doing nothing at all to tame the unruly hair. I moved on towards his perfectly shaped eyebrows, I've never seen nothing like it. They were bushy, but perfect. His eyes were a flourishing jade with a tint of azure. His nose was spotless, slightly crooked but made him even more beautiful. His lips were full plum roses. He had a chiselled chin, completing his beautiful face. I wanted to drop soft, wet kisses along them.
He fully turned towards me and noticed my stare. I flushed and looked down. I felt one of his long fingers wiggle under my chin and lift my head up. The warmth l felt when his skin touched mine was unbelievable, l couldn't breathe. His eyes were enchanting, hypnotic as he smiled at me. Another perfection he had, his beautiful crooked smile. It was a panty melting smile, l think mine melted a long time ago. He removed his finger, the skin he touched was burning, l missed his finger already.
"What's a beautiful girl like you doing sitting here all alone?" his voice was like warm velvet, it lingered in the air. It was beautiful. My already flushed face seemed to completely turn into tomato red.
I couldn't look away, l was close to drooling so l decided to keep my mouth shut. I've never felt this way. I was attracted to this guy, physically. Very unlike me.
"Don't talk huh? Maybe you'd like to dance?" Thus gorgeous guy was asking me to dance. I was going to either step on his probably beautiful toes or fall on my ass. Dancing was a very bad idea right now, especially when l was drunk! Yet l found myself nodding towards the stranger, he grabbed my hand and the warmth returned. He led us to the dance floor. He placed my hand on the back of his neck and his laced towards my waist, pulling me closer. As we swayed to Aerosmith- don't wanna miss a thing. I couldn't remove my eyes from his intense glare. I don't know how long we stood there for, but l never wanted it to end. I forget where we were, who l was and my horrible life. All l could concentrate on was this beautiful stranger dancing with me.
After what seemed like an hour, he pulled me towards a quiet section with a couch. We sat down and he stroked my cheek, leaving a trial of fire as he went along. "
You're so beautiful" He whispered towards me, finally breaking the glare causing me to furiously blush and look towards the floor. I heard him chuckle lowly. James walked towards us with a beer bottle and a couple of shots.
"For you beautiful," he pointed towards the shots as James walked away, l shook my head lightly finally finding my voice.
"I've had enough, but thank you anyway" I looked up and softly smiled at the guy, his breath hitched.
"No please, I just wasted what? $10 on those!" I smiled kindly and picked up a shot, throwing it down my throat quickly. I didn't want to be rude, but this guy could make me do about anything right now.
"There you go princess, " He smiled wickedly at me as he drunk his beer. He took a couple of shots, James kept on bringing more and more.
"I think you're trying to get me drunk!" I giggled and attempted to swat the stranger, l had lost all my control. I was officially drunk. The stranger laughed at me and 'Body on me' by Ashanti, Akon and Nelly came on. He grabbed my hand, pulling me up and dragging me towards the dance floor. I could sway but dance to this? No way! Even drunk l new that!
See the way that you're walking,
The way you're talking
I blushed furiously as we stopped on the dance floor.
"I really can't dance to this," I mumbled into his chest. He dropped his hands towards my hips and pulled me towards him. He whispered into my ear "Just sway your hips like this" He began moving my hips left to right. He slowed down as l did what he said, i felt him smile against my ear as he left a soft, sweet kiss on the back on it. He spun me around so my back was to him, his hands stayed on my hips, he pulled me closer, my ass touching his groin. I heard his growl which urged me to keep on doing what l was doing. I wasn't very good at dancing, l didn't even want to attempt sexy but he seemed to like what l was doing.
The song went on and finished, another fast beat song came on and out movements became faster. I don't know what got into me but l felt myself dipping low like the song suggested. I was really getting into this.
Dip it low
Bring up slow
Turn it around
"You little vixen," He growled into my ear. He placed a wet kiss on the back of my neck, causing me to shiver, causing an uncomfortable feel between my legs, l don't know why but l was aching for his touch. He lightly sucked onto that little piece of skin along my neck, causing me to moan rather loudly. I needed him like I've ever needed anything else. My hips moved faster along his groin, causing both pleasure and anxiety. Both of us moaned, he grabbed my hand, dragging me towards the exit. I didn't know what was happening until we were outside and he pressed my back against the wall but his touches were fire, l didn't feel a thing. His warm breath and lingering on my face, my lips were slightly agape. I felt my face flush; His eyes were darker than l remembered as he caught his breath.
He leaned his forehead against mine, l was aching for him to kiss me like they did in movies, l thought he wouldn't as he just gazed at me. I was about to look away when he moved his lips towards mine, the anxiety was too much as l lifted my face and crushed my lips onto his warm ones.
I had never been kissed l didn't know what it felt like, but his lips on mine was like a hot flame, everything in sight disappeared, closing my eyes l melted into this kiss. His lips were rosy, delicate and soft. It was passionate at first, with his soft caresses and gentle touch. He pulled me closer and the kiss became hunger infected, his tongue flicked onto the bottom my lip, making me moan in pleasure, whilst my mouth opened, he thrust his hot tongue inside my mouth. I couldn't think, my mind was going into an overdrive as l processed what was happening, his tongue caressed my tongue, causing it to tingle. I didn't want to move but l was out of breath. I gave him one final kiss and removed my lips away from his panting. He looked at me with excitement and what seemed like adoration. I was completely lost, he trailed kisses up to my ear and whispered
"Come back to the hotel with me?"
I didn't know what l was thinking when l nodded, in fact, l wasn't thinking at all. We didn't need a cab, the hotel was literally around the corner. The stranger practically dragged me towards the hotel, pushing the doors open.
"Stay here okay?" He asked me, l nodded and he walked towards the receptionist area. I was going crazy. I don't know what l was planning on doing, l didn't know what to do when it came to sex.
I was a virgin.
I looked at the man speaking at the front desk, he was gorgeous. He was tall and lean; he looked marvellous in his royal blue suit. I don't know what persuaded me to go along with what l was doing but l went along with it.
He quickly came back quickly, grabbing my hands and leading me towards the elevator. It opened immediately and we walked in.
As soon as the doors closed, he pushed me against the wall and began kissing down my jaw, sucking on a bit of skin as he went along. I took one of my legs and hitched it to his waist, pulling me and him much closer. I shifted against him and l heard his hoarse moan.
"You gotta stop doing that unless you want me to fuck you against this wall!" He grumbled into my ear. My breath picked up. Dirty talk. Extremely hot!
The Elevators opened and he quickly grabbed my hand, my leg falling back down as we walked swiftly towards a door. He quickly opened it with his key and he didn't even bother opening the light. He shoved me against the wall, immediately attacking my neck.
His hands were rubbing my sides up and down; my hands were clinging tightly to his neck, biting the insides of my cheeks, trying to maintain the moan. He was moving backwards, until he fell onto the bed, bringing me with him. I could feel him smiling against my neck.
"You're so beautiful" He whispered as he clung onto my dress. "Now pretty girl, stand." I automatically stood in front of him; he moved closer to me, his green eyes smouldering in the darkness, he turned me around and pulled down the zipper, his fingers gently lingered on my back, continuing their trail of wide anticipation. He grabbed the straps on each side and gently moved them down my body, the dress dropped onto the floor. His hands stilled and l immediately felt self conscious. I was about to turn away from him when l felt his kiss on my collar bone.
He was being delicate, tender and caring. My body shook in anticipation for him, I was prepared for what was going to happen. I just didn't know if l was willingly ready to offer my v card to a stranger, l didn't even know his name.
His kisses went on towards my stomach, causing excited butterflies to flow around. His tongue flickered out nearing my belly button. I was causing a pool of wet inside my pants, l was eagerly wanting him to touch me there. His stood from his knees and took his jacket off, unbuttoned his top as quickly as he could and fumbled with his dress pants until they fell to his knees. I could see his arousal standing out in his boxers. I didn't know what l was doing, my hands reached towards it and he moaned, stilling my movements.
"Please, don't do that! I don't wanna jizz in my pants just from that touch!" I felt my eyes roll back. He hungrily placed his lips on mine, I felt my back lie onto the bed, him climbing on top of me, straddling my waist. He quickly unstrapped my bra. I watched his hand move gently down my collarbone, tracing the line between my breasts and across my stomach. He found my ticklish spot, just above my bellybutton as l began to giggle. I smiled as his lips copied his earlier movements. Though, they lingered on my breasts, gently flicking my nipple with his tongue.
"You taste like the sweetest honey"
I moaned, I'm sure if he says something like that again l would sure as he says 'jizz' in my pants. He gently took it into his mouth, sucking it ever so lightly. My eyes once again rolled back inside my head, l started rocking against him, causing him to growl at me, and he quickly took my pants off, chucking them across the room. His hands stroked the curls covering the skin; l lifted my hips towards him. "Oh god!"
He pushed one of his long fingers inside me, causing my body to explode in pleasure. His finger moved along my clit gently.
"You're so wet for my, my beautiful angel" I moaned whilst nodding my head. He gently scratched the skin on the insides, whilst adding another finger, quickening his movements. I felt my hips moving along with his hands. I've never felt too good in my life; l never wanted him to stop. I felt an explosion going on in my stomach, my legs quivering. I screamed out in pleasure, holding on to the bed, and coming to my release. I read about this but had no idea what it would feel like. The tension burning on my insides, the tingly feeling left after it happened it was beautiful and it was amazing. He quickly removed his own pants and moved himself around so he was sitting right by my entrance, this was it. It would hurt the first time but it would get better right? I was suddenly nervous
"You ready?" He looked at me sweetly, l hesitated before nodding. He lifted my hips, lowering himself into me. I felt the pain as he broke the barrier, my eyes clung shut, and tears were probably spilling out.
He leaned down and kissed them of my cheek. He stayed still, waiting for my pain to disappear. After what seemed like forever l nodded towards him. He pulled himself out, waited a couple of seconds before pushing himself back in. He held onto my hand as he moved in the same slow pace for a couple of minutes, the pain was beginning to disappear, a squeezed his hand and l wanted to smile at this stranger's gentle nature. It was nicest way anyone has ever treated me in my whole entire life. I felt him move a bit faster but the pace was enough for me, the pleasure was climbing the ladder as l heard him groan, his head on my neck. His hands moved down towards my breasts. He flicked the nipples a couple of time before bringing his lips towards mine and kissing me passionately. I began moving my hips at the same pace as him, both of us satisfied with the gentle movements. I felt my walls shatter again, my legs quivering as a cried out my release, him following. We were both panting and sweating. I felt him kiss my lips once more before he dropped to my side. He grabbed hold of my hand and kissed it. He pulled the blanket over our hot bodies and pulled me towards him. My head snuggled against his chest as his head in my hair.
I quickly fell asleep, and for the first time in my life, my dreams were satisfactory with no nightmares. It was blank though l could see a lot of jade green everywhere.
The sunshine beat against my face as l slowly opened my eyes. I huge smile appeared on my face as l remembered l was actually in Chicago. A city that never rained! Very much unlike forks. My smile dropped of my face as l remembered some parts of the events of last night. I groaned and lay back on the pillow. I didn't do that. I closed my eyes and turned towards the other pillow. I gasped when l saw the white rose lying on the pillow with a note next to it.
Thanks for last night beautiful girl. I won't forget you.
I had a headache, my body ached and l lost my virginity to a one night stand. My new start wasn't exactly how l imagined it. I felt dirty and used. I didn't want to feel like a slut but l did. What was l thinking? What if he was married!
He really did change my life, whatever his name was. After my encounter with the beautiful stranger, l stayed at the hotel for a few more days to get my thoughts together. I found an apartment far away from the hotel, a few weeks later l found a job as a waitress.
During those few weeks in my new life, l was finally content nothing was falling apart. A major changed happened to me during that time.
5years later from that faithful month, l lost my job, my apartment.
We became homeless.
I couldn't concentrate as they both gripped my hands tightly, we crossed the road and when walking towards the alleyway, l felt my head fall light. I was feeling dizzy and before l knew it, everything went blank and black was everywhere.