She sits across the table from him. She takes a sip of her drink, and finally asks.
"It is our day off, why did you ask me to lunch? You feel that you do not see enough of me at work?"
"Why can't you just be honest with me?"
"About what?"
"Mister Fabulous."
She nods. "Why would I? Have you given me a reason to?"
"I share with you."
"Sometimes things need to remain unsaid."
"And sometimes all the cards need to be laid out on the table."
"Why? So you can tell me that you don't think he is good enough? So you can tease me, and say that I am oblivious to his flaws? Give me a reason."
"I am asking you. This game is getting old, I am getting tired."
"I am sorry to hear that."
"I am not trying to act childish. I want you to tell me about...Ray," he manages to choke out.
"No."
"Why not? Is he so perfect that you don't want to share anything about him?"
"Tony I do not want to talk about it. Why can't you just leave it alone?" her tone changes. He notices her look away. She stares out the window, instead of looking away, knowing her eyes will give her away.
He touches her hand, "Look at me."
She shakes her head, and her bangs fall into her eyes.
"Why can't you just talk to me? I just want you to be happy."
"I just want you to tell me the truth," she counters.
"I guess that is fair enough," he agrees.
She looks at him. He notices the tears welling up in her eyes. "Are you really going to tell the truth? For once in your life you're going to step out from behind the facade, and just tell me how you feel? You accuse me of withholding things from you, but you are just as guilty as I am."
He brushes the hair out of her eyes. He tucks it behind her ear.
"We both know that mistakes have been made. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy, but you are the same way."
"I can admit that."
"Why are you afraid to tell me about this guy? I just want you to be happy."
"The same reason you won't tell me the truth."
He nods. He looks into her eyes. He swallows hard, and tries not to allow himself to wonder why she is on the verge of tears. He squeezes her hand.
"The truth is that I want you to be happy. I don't want to say or do anything to keep you from that. I have done that before, and I was wrong."
"You were right."
"Are you afraid that I will see something you don't?"
She purses her lips. "No I am afraid that if I am happy you won't be."
"You shouldn't worry about me."
"Tony, just tell me. Why is it that your skin crawls, and your voice raises an octave every time I mention him?"
He clenches his jaw, fighting the words. He looks at the table, instead of her eyes.
She tips his chin up. "I want the truth. I am tired of all the crap that you try to sell me. Just want I want you to tell me the truth."
"Ziva I am afraid that the truth will hurt you."
"Hurt me? This game, this is driving a wedge between us. Our partnership is suffering. I would hate to lose everything, because you are too scared to just tell me the truth."
His face turns red, and his nostrils flare. He takes a deep breath, but he can no longer control him. The words spew out like venom, "I don't want you to be with him."
"Why?" she asks very calmly.
"I don't want you to be with anyone."
"You would prefer that I spend the rest of my life alone?" she goads.
"No Ziva I don't."
"So why I am ever with is good enough?"
"They're not me."
"They're not you?"
"You seem so calm about this. Why aren't you furious at me? Did he break up with you? Did you end it?"
"Tony I am calm because I have been waiting for this. I have been waiting for you to finally admit the truth. The truth that I have known far longer than I wanted to. You cannot deny something that is in front of your face everyday. At some point you have to face the elephant in the room, before it is too late."
"I want you to be happy. I don't want you to feel like you should have to hide things from me. I think that you should be with whoever makes you happy. I don't want you to be afraid to hurt my feelings. I don't want you to miss an opportunity because I..." he stops before the words spill out.
"Because why?"
"Because I can find flaws with anyone. No one is ever going to be smart enough, or tan enough, or tall enough, or rich enough for you. I think you deserve to have the perfect guy."
"By your standards the only person I can ever be with is Jesus himself. I don't mean that to sound blasphemous, but..."
"It's sort of true."
"I doubt that even he would be good enough. Am I right?"
"Yes," Tony nods.
"That wasn't what you were going to say though, was it?"
"Does it matter? You are in love with this Ray guy. I don't want to mess with that."
"Things are not always what they seem. We keep secrets from each other, to protect one another, but we really, just hurt each other more. We do not have all the time in the world to figure out what we want. We do not have all the time in the world to say the things that we need to say. All we have is right now. We have what we have, in this moment, and that is all," the tears threaten to flow over the brim.
"Ziva where is this coming from? Why all of a sudden are you demanding to know the truth?"
"I am tired of waiting to hear what I need to hear."
"And what is that?"
"I need you to say it. I need you to tell me the truth, so I know that I am not crazy. So that I know I have chosen the right thing."
"I can't take it back if I say it. We are partners..." he begins.
She cuts him off, "We will not always be partners."
"Are you planning on leaving me?" he questions.
"Not voluntarily."
"Is Vance shipping you off again?"
"Answer me damn it! I want the truth," a single tear falls down her cheek. She ignores it. She doesn't try to wipe it away so that he can't see. He looks in her eyes, and suddenly it's clear something is very wrong.
"I love you," he admits.
"Thank you."
"You can't say thank you to that."
"What do you want me to say?"
"I don't know," he shrugs, "Can we talk about something else?"
"Yes," she nods tears still falling.
"Will you please tell me about Ray?"
Her voice weakens, "He is a doctor," she reveals as a large lump forms in her throat.
"A doctor? What kind of doctor? A dentist? A vet? A neurosurgeon?"
"An oncologist."
"I am assuming that his work is not dinner conversation?"
"It is all we talk about," she responds.
"Why? Why would you want to talk about his work?"
"When I told about him, you assumed that I was seeing him."
"You aren't?"
"I am not dating him."
"Just having sex with him?"
"I am not."
"So you aren't seeing him?"
"Not personally."
"How are you seeing him?"
She swallows hard. "Professionally."
"You are working undercover?"
She shakes her head, and more tears fall.
"Ziva what are you telling me?"
"I needed you to tell me, because, I don't know how much longer I will be..." she stops.
"Why wouldn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want you to know."
"Why?"
"Because I love you," she says through tears.
He slides out of his booth. He walks around the table, to the side she is sitting at. He slides into the booth beside her. He envelopes her in a hug. She doesn't resist. He pets her hair.
"How bad?" he inquires.
"There is no cure."
"An operation?"
She shakes her head, "Inoperable."
"You can't leave me," he chokes out, trying to hold back his own tears.
"You will be ok."
"No. I can't live without you," he argues.
"You will have to try," she insists.
"Who else knows?"
"No one. You are the first person I've told."
"Take it back," he begs.
"I can't."
"You can't leave me."
"I don't have much of a choice Tony, I'm dying."