AN: Angst, extreme angst, Oh and mentions of RaPr.

Disclaimer: Guy and Kih are MINE!!! Guy is from me and a friend's rp and Kih was just the name I chose for Guy's lover. This is a drabble from Guy's Pov btw.

where's the love?

Let me explain something to you about the irken empire. It is a machine. It is cold, impartial, practical, uncaring, but most of all indiscriminate. The tallest work very hard to keep it running and it runs smoothly most of the time. Well, until a defect like Zim shows up, then the machine not only stops but starts running backwards, sideways, and up the friggin wall.

But I digress. The irken machine is far from perfect. Everything is far from perfect. But I've glimpsed paradise and then watched it burn. My perfection died in my arms from those burn wounds. His name was Kih and I loved him with all my being.

First let me explain love within the empire. When it does happen everyone throws a party. Because we are trained not to love those who find it are few and far between. And when it is found everyone celebrates this rarity of happiness.

When both our tallest found love in each other the feasting went on for months. Everyone was happy. Everyone but me. I was hunted then. Blue eyed irkens are considered defective. Mine just so happen to be robin's egg blue as humans would call it.

I was huddled alone in an alleyway when he found me. I was only about ten back then. I looked away so he wouldn't see my eyes but then he got curious. He sat next to me and talked to me as if I weren't a a runaway or defect. He spoke to me as though he didn't care. I found out later that he knew all along about my eyes and actually didn't care.

He looked at me and asked me if I'd like to stay with him. He told me that all of his friends had gone to the invader academy but he had declined in pursuit of an engineering job. He was brilliant and I immediately found myself drawn to this charismatic figure. And like a silver tongued serpent he let me taste the forbidden fruit of the garden.

It started out as a simple living arrangement. He would hide me in a secret room he'd devised that could not be found by any technology when inspection came around and I had free reign of the living space while he was away. The more we talked the more I was drawn to him and like a fly caught in a spider's web I was unable to escape with the spider wrapping me in layer after layer of security and whispering venomed sweet nothings.

It didn't take long for me to want him in other ways. Everyone on Irk is bisexual on account of females being rather rare in our species. To be honest it's more likely that two males will get together than a male and female and even more rare is when two females get together. But the funny thing is we can all reproduce, but not based on our lover's gender. Males have smeets as often as the females do so it keeps the smeetery full.

He came home to me one day and the entire 'how' I was trying to think of was taken out of my hands as he led me back into the very room he'd before forbidden me to even see, his bedroom. It was clean and spotless with many strange technologies on the wall. He led me to the bed and begged me to take him. I couldn't breathe, I was so nervous. Finally we tumbled back down onto the bed. I'd never felt so good and had a warm fuzzy feeling for a week.

Over the next few months he began teaching me everything about his work and how to care for his technology. I learned everything I could as fast as I could and I remember him commenting that not only was I very intelligent but I was also rather outgoing instead of cold and introverted. He brought home an IQ tester one day and I took it gladly. I was off the charts. That was when he began teaching me everything I needed to know to become great and stay alive.

It didn't last long however and I never got to test my will to survive against the irken machine as one day we were caught by a surprise inspection and they found us together. They tried to take me away for disposal but his words made them all stop cold. "Always remember that I love you." Those were his exact words. By law it is forbidden to take away someone's partner if both are in love. They asked if I returned his love and I told them the truth. I said yes. They were at a loss as to what to do so they called the tallest.

The tallest looked at me and I could read the disgust on their faces. The inspector explained the situation and tallest Purple found the loophole immediately. "You are not allowed to take the engineer's beloved but nowhere does it say you can't dispose of his beloved." his grin was wicked then and his next words made my blood run cold. "Just shoot him between the eyes right there while they are together and there's nothing in the laws against it."

By then I'd relearned how to cry. They raised the laser slowly to my head and I closed my eyes. "I love you Kih." Kih just took a breath, looked at the screen, and requested permission to speak to the tallest before my disposal. They granted his request and I saw then just how much damage he could really do to the empire with words alone.

He was extremely polite and never once did his voice betray that he was on the verge of breaking down. He was the epitome of calm and casual. He asked to show them the IQ tester that I'd taken and they said they'd see it for themselves. When they saw it was one he'd designed to be unhackable they called my disposal off on one condition. They wanted me to be Kih's permanent assistant and I agreed.

Everyone was told of a new love and there was feasting just like when we met in the alleyway. We were made the model couple and everyone loved us. But nothing lasts. We spent the next fifty years together quite happily. We designed many things for domestic Irk and worked on bettering life for the general populace of our empire.

I lost my everything in that lab fire. I watched horrified as everything I ever knew, everything I ever cared about and loved was burned alive. I'm still haunted by his screams. He crawled out of the flames and I rushed to hold him one last time. By the time the emergency team arrived he was gone and I was left cold and alone. Sometimes I still wake up crying. I miss him so much and irkens are only given one chance at love. If you find it once you'll never find it again.

They erase everything about you but they remember your lover. It only happens if your lover dies though. They wiped my record clean and gave me a job cleaning rooms on the massive. They even erased my name. Now I'm just Guy. I am a nobody and nobody will ever notice me again. That's what happens. But I believe it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. And even though I've moved on with my life and released his spirit from his pak I visit the memorial everyday simply as an old colleague and friend. But my love for him will never die and will outlast even the tallest. Especially if Zim shows up...