Author's Note: Don't own Final Fantasy 7 or the song 'Dude Looks Likes A Lady'. Don't sue.
…
Dude Looks Like The Devil
By Charles Xavier
(Parody of 'Dude Looks Like A Lady' by Aerosmith)
…
"Yuffie?" Godo caught his daughter sitting out in the grassy fields. "What are you up to in this late hour?"
"Nothing much." she dreamily replied. "Just watching the stars, waiting for Vincent to return."
"Oh…?" Her father raised a brow curiously. "Just what particular interest do you have in him? Do I sense my child enduring love for the first time?"
"There's a lot more to him than you might know."
"Like what?"
"I'm not sure if…"
"Yuffie, as your superior father, it is my every right to know about his daughter's love interests."
"Well…I've seen Vincent occasionally out and about during the night. And he's kind of unusual. But last night was THE night I will never forget! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk…"
"Go on…"
After her little chuckle, Yuffie burst into another song:
…
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
…
Caught the demon cruising the skies,
His physique sparkled stars in my eyes,
He a monstrous love at first sight!
Gawd, I know it seems wrong,
But to me it's all right!
That's right!
…
Midnight, I opened my arms,
To give this demon my loving embrace!
Excuse me if I wasn't alarmed,
When he puffed out his flames,
And tried to barbeque my face!
…
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
…
I've never had a crush on a demon,
Especially when disguised as a human.
Love put me straight with my love in a cape,
He had the body of Adonis,
But who would anticipate…
…
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
…
Vinnie, let me settle you down,
Wrap me with your wings dear,
Vinnie, let me settle you down,
Hug me, kiss me, lick me all night!
…
Vinnie, let me settle you down,
Do your beastly things dear,
Vinnie, let me settle you down,
Bite me, bite me, bite me, bite me!
…
Oh, what a sinful devil,
He like it, like it, like it, like that!
Oh, he is a devil.
…
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
…
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
That…that…
Dude looks like the Devil!
…
Dude, dude, dude, dude, looks like the Devil!
Dude, dude, dude, dude, looks like the Devil!
Dude, dude, dude, dude, looks like the Devil!
Dude, dude, dude, dude, looks like the Devil!
…
"…and that's what I love about him!" said Yuffie, still fantasising ever too gratefully about Vincent. "We gotta have him over for my next slumber party! Whaddya think?"
She didn't notice Godo already on his knees, attempting to commit suicide by stabbing himself in the chest with a harmless carrot.
"Goodbye, cruel world!"
…
Owari
…