(Lengthy explaination about the name that I will spare y'all from.)

This is a sort of companion to seditionary's story, "The Date". While my story is mostly PWP, I whole-heartedly recommend reading sed's first if you haven't already. It's too great. And oh, yeah. My dad found out about this and other stories like it the other day. O.o Wasn't fun. I risked my neck writing it for you guys! Enjoy it or else!!! T.T No, just kiddin. (My first story completed that's smut... Nervousnervousnervous.)

Happy Enchilada

"Soooo… I hear from Alfred that you only really eat flavorless junk like rice, and fish, and vegetables… Lame! So we made some Mexican food! Eat up, big boy! And you gotta try this hot sauce…" Joker (but today he wore no make-up, so he was Jack) all but shouted as he burst into the main living room of the penthouse, carrying a huge tray of food.

Bruce was sitting on the floor, deeply engrossed in files on a recent case, and the abrupt entrance made him jump slightly. Only slightly, though, so he paused for a second to grab his plate of food and kept on studying. Jack normally would have been quite miffed because of this, but instead they ate dinner in peace together on the floor.

After dinner Bruce and a bored Jack lounged a bit longer on the floor. But Bruce was getting ready to head to the secret room that held a spare Bat suit and from there on a night of patrolling.

Well, he would have, until…

He had just been sitting on the bed putting on his socks when he broke out into a cold sweat. And yet at the same time there was a burning that wouldn't go away. Nearly convulsing, he looked up at his lover.

The man was standing over the bed, smirk visible even under the scars. He pushed his Bruce, yes his, down so that he lay on his back on the floor; he was trying so hard not to gasp and was trembling with eyes closed and a delicious look of extreme concentration playing across his face. But he fought a losing battle.

"You- you crazy clown… What did you do to me?"

Jack let slip the 'crazy' bit on account of the other man was not in his normal state of mind. "Me? Why would you think it was I who did anything?" he asked innocently. He sat next to Bruce, cross-legged and palms together on his lap.

"Be- because you're an insane idiot, idiot." was the playboy's ingenious response.

"Ah ah ah! Temper, temper, Brucie." he reprimanded as he delicately ran his hands down Bruce's side, barely even there. And lower and lower… Of course, the man was so sensitive right now that this sent shocks of pleasure through him.

"Anyhoo, how did you like the meal tonight, huh? Alfred let me help cook!" Jack eagerly implored his lover. Now his hands rested full on the other's belly as he moved over Bruce, and straddled him. "I added my own special sauce to your's, gorgeous."

"You spiked my enchiladas?!"

"Ohhh, it was just a little something-something from a friend. And so far the results are quite like what she said they would be. Tell me, how do you feel?"

"Like I'm gonna kill you, you sick sunnuva-"

Jack leaned forward and kissed Bruce, hard, to get his mind back where he wanted it. "Come on, really tell me," he growled.

Bruce was full out moaning by now. "I feel like- like I'm gonna blow up any second, but I can't. Now, what did you do?!"

The clown pulled out a vile from his pants pocket. "Well, it says 'aphrodisiac' on here. Does that answer your question? Oh, and I wasn't sure exactly how much to add… So I'm still not sure how long you'll be like this. Eh heh, more fun for me." Bruce looked like he really was going to blow now, from anger, so Jack ground down into him. Bruce nearly yelped from this. Ohh, he really was going to have fun now.

}{}{}{}{

Alfred had finished cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, and he was settling into his chair, piping hot and fresh tea beside him. After a while he heard a slight scuffle come from down the hall. He sighed, turned up the television, and turned the page of the newspaper in his hand. It was times like these he was grateful his bedroom was on the other end of the penthouse…

}{}{}{}{

Jack was stripping Bruce, all the while lightly kissing and biting the newly exposed flesh. The playboy was completely in the palm of his hand now, so to speak, and as soon as he was naked Jack got up. He took off running out of the room, and came back with a duffle bag. Rummaging about in it, he squealed with glee when he found what he was looking for. He rushed back over to Bruce. Regaining some semblance of sense, Bruce curiously looked at what Jack was so excited about.

…

…

…A bottle of lube and that damned purple dildo. The psychotic clown was planning to-!? No. No no no. This would so not do.

Yet with the way Jack was caressing him now… He wouldn't really be able to do anything now. . Bruce let out a sigh that was at the same time contented and weary.

Joker took that as his cue and began lubing up his fingers. Humming all the way, he worked on loosening his lover up. One, two… Three's the charm! Lubing up the dildo as well, he positioned it at the playboy's entrance. At a moderate pace it went in, and it wasn't all too bad. Or so Bruce thought. By the way the clown's eyes shone with mirth, he really should have expected something, though.

-Bzzzzz-

He tensed up immediately, and cried out. The clown giggled. Oh, so much fun… And now he wanted in on the fun, too.

}{}{}{}{

It was getting harder and harder to hang on. Bruce didn't know how much longer he could last. Writhing about on the floor, he grasped about on the carpet for leverage. What with that man bouncing up and down on him, and that thing buzzing away in him…

Yet he couldn't come. Oh god, why couldn't he come?! His sanity felt like it was on the line now. "J-Jack…" he panted out. "Jack, take that thing out…!"

With head tilted back, hair covering face, and a saucy smile upon his lips, Jack stopped moving. Licking his lips as he tried to catch his breath, he looked down at Bruce. But the sight took it all away again. Oh, so much fun… And fat chance on the dildo coming out right now. The vibrations were just too heavenly…

But, upon further inspection, "Cripes, you doing okay Brucie? You look a little… Well, like you're gonna blow." he said with a frown. Fun while it lasted…

"Jack, I am so getting you back for this…"

Then again, this could be good, too.

}{}{}{}{

"Aww, Bruce, not now?! C'mon, pal!" Joker whined. He really, really almost regretted that stunt. Almost.

Bruce had stormed off to the secret room after cooling off, and was putting on the armor as they spoke. "No! You're not weaseling your way out of this one. I'm hauling your sorry self back to Arkham, now!"

Jack's face fell. He was grasping at straws here. Until, "Heh, you know and I know that I'll be out of there inna week. I'm too good." he smugly said, all the while hoping it would work.

Bruce paused before grabbing the cowl, and his face got all dark. He went into one of his contemplative moods. 'On one hand, I'm very, very angry. Yet… I could keep an eye on him better like this.' "Promise to stay out of trouble?" 'Or at least, further?'

Dead serious, Jack crossed his heart. "Oh, absolutely. Heh heh, this way it'll be easier to have some fun, eh?" he waggled his brow.

'Yeah, there's that, too- Wait.' Bruce caught himself. "No. There's something going on around in the city, something serious. I already lost a night's worth of work, thanks to you."

"Oh, c'mon, don't worry about it! Here, let's get you out of that suit, and head to bed. Come on, there's a good boy, come on." Jack cooed. Bruce sighed heavily. It was a wonder how he could put up with this insufferable maniac.

"G'night, Bats." Jack sighed into the ear of the man next to him in bed.

"…Goodnight Jack."

Ohhh, I made myself laugh writing this. Very much. So! *claps hands* I hope you enjoyed it! Lemme know what ya think, yeah? Most appreciated. Next up... Dare I say it...? Well? Heh. Sex in an alley, that's what's up. 'Til then, n'cha!