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Take One, Part One -Clack-

Catherine nearly ran from one end of the house to the other that she was temporally sharing with the pilots. She had a meeting that she needed to attend concerning the circus that she worked at, and thanks to Duo hiding her shoes, she was late. Really late. Biting on one of her fingernails, she did a quick sweep of the room with her eyes that she was currently in; causing her wavy brown hair to bob slightly, and for her simple star shaped earrings to jangle softly. When she was about to give up and move on to another room, something caught her eye. Propped up in one corner stood a plant, the dirt in it's pot up in a mound and around the pots base, Catherine could see some smudges on the carpet where dirt use to be before it was probably scooped back up with some hands to pile in the pot again. Quickly running over there, she shoved her hand into the mound of dirt and she pulled up one of her lost shoes. With one quick movement, she tur ned the shoe upside down allowing the dirt that filled it to fall back into the pot. Then tapping the shoe against the pot, she knocked all the excess dirt off the outside.

Holding on to the shoe, she then turned away from the pot and she began to look for her other one. Only one more shoe left to find, and only two more minutes until she was a half an hour late. And to make matters worse, none of the pilots were helping her in her search, for they had no idea where to even begin to look. In the beginning, Trowa and Quatre had helped her look and even interrogated Duo with the matter, but after getting nowhere and getting nothing from Duo other then a few chuckles and a sly grin they gave up. Finally, Catherine happened to look up, and sitting on a hanging light fixture made of glass that was suspended from the ceiling from a gold painted chain, was her other shoe. The fixture was probably at least a good ten feet off the ground and was in the middle of the room, within nothing anywhere near it to stand on, so Catherine couldn't help but to wonder how Duo had gotten it up there in the first place. Af ter all, if he had thrown it, he probably would've broke the thing before he managed to get it to stay up there.

With pursed lips she held her one shoe that she already had by the front in a throwing position. After a quick moment of her mentally weighing the shoe and judging the distance and the angle of her shoe on the fixture, she flung her first shoe up at it. The first shoe hit the other one dead on, and without even causing the fixture to quiver in the slightest way, she knocked the shoe down and the thrown one quickly followed suit. Running over to her shoes, she picked them up and she darted over to the door. It was there that she finally slipped her shoes on and after she was done she stood up and she opened the door. Before she walked out however she turned around and shouted back into the house. "I found my shoes so I'm leaving now! Be good Trowa, and would somebody please keep an eye on Duo?"

A muffled and bored "yes" came from a random room from one of the pilots. Catherine wasn't sure which one had said it, though for a moment she could've sworn that it sounded like Duo. Shaking her head she turned around and left the house; closing the door behind her. It wasn't even two seconds after she left however, that there was a knock on the door. Thinking that Catherine had forgotten something and had accidentally locked herself out of the house, Trowa ran over and answered the door. However, much to his surprise, it wasn't Catherine that was standing there. It was Zechs and off to one side was Treize. Both of them seemed really nervous about something and they kept on looking over their shoulders every few seconds as if they expected something to jump out of a random bush or tree to maul them.

For a moment, Trowa said nothing and he just stared at the two of them. "What brings you two here?"

Zechs shot another nervous glance over one of his shoulders before he spoke. "Fan girls...they found out where we live." A tiny sound came from a bush causing Zechs to spin around to face it; his long blond hair trailing behind him and whipping Treize in the face as it passed. Seeing only a cute and fluffy squirrel hop out of the bush Zechs turned back around to face Trowa; his long hair once again whipping Treize in the face. "No where is safe anymore...don't know who we can trust...they're all with them I say. So we came here...we know we can trust you five. Besides, if they do find us, some of them might chase after you guys instead."

Trowa opened his mouth to say something though before he could Zechs reached out a hand and he patted him on one of his shoulders. "Thanks." Zechs and Treize then pushed by Trowa before he had a chance to say anything and they entered the home. With a sigh Trowa reached over and he closed the door, though once again, it was only closed for a few seconds before a knock sounded on it.

Duo, who had heard Zechs speech about the fan girls, screamed and he dove behind a couch. "Code pink! I repeat we have a code pink in progress! Possible fan girl alert!"

Zechs and Treize ran around the house for a moment in a panic looking for a place to hide that was no where near any windows or the door. Finally they just chose to join Duo behind the couch. Trowa however remained at the door though he hesitated for a moment before answering it. Much to the three behind the couch's relief, it wasn't fan girls. In fact, it was probably the exact opposite. Instead of a bunch of girls with a crazed look in their eyes and some foam oozing out of their mouth, were the five scientist's that were responsible for creating the Gundams and helping the pilots out.

Confused, Trowa just stared at them waiting for one of them to speak.

After a short moment of a rather awkward silence Dr. J finally spoke. "I'm not going into details, but we needed to get away from our place and needed to find a place to hide." He paused in his speech for a brief moment as he scanned the street. "Also, if any cops come here, it wasn't us, you didn't see us, in fact, you don't even know us." With that said all five of the scientists entered the house. Dr. J, who was the last to enter, paused after he had walked though the door and he turned around to look at Trowa. "In fact, don't even answer the phone."

With a sigh, Trowa closed the door and he waited a few seconds. When another knock didn't come he finally left the door and walked over to the couch where Duo, Zechs, and Treize had finally gotten up from. It was only a few more moments before Wufei, Quatre, and Heero joined everybody else in the room. There was a moment of silence as everybody stared at each other, then Heero finally spoke. "Why is everybody here?"

"You don't wanna know." Trowa responded as he walked over and took a seat on the floor in front of the couch.

"More importantly," Duo piped in, "What are we going to do?"

Quatre turned and he looked at the TV that sat in front of the room they were all gathered in. "Why don't we watch TV?"

Everybody shrugged figuring it was probably the only thing they could do, however, everybody reached for the remote at the same time. When all of their hands touched it they turned to glare at each other. Everybody then began to yell at the same time as they tried to debate about what to watch. If a person listened very closely, it sounded like this...

Duo: A moooovie! We need to watch a movie!

Trieze: Sports! You can't go wrong with sports!

Dr. G: I want to watch the news...

Duo: MOOOOVIE!!!

Wufei: There's a show I want to watch...I'll fight anybody for the remote to watch it.

Duo: Movie, movie, movie, movie!

Quatre: Can't we all agree on something?

Master O: I'm hungry...

Zechs: Anything sexy works for me.

However, due to the fact that all of them were shouting at the same time it sounded more like this...

"A mooorts news watch anyoive omthing? Hungry for sexy."

And, confused with the results that they were hearing, they all shut up for a moment. That moment was long enough for Quatre to speak again. "Why don't we just flip to a random channel and just watch whatever's on there?"

Everybody once again turned to look at each other then with a shrug Heero picked up the remote, turned the TV on, and flipped to a random channel. The channel that they landed on was currently on a commercial. Everybody then got comfortable on the couch, they found a spot on the floor, or on another random piece of furniture; all of their eyes fixed on the TV.

The TV screen filled with an image of a dark and evil looking city, with tall buildings, and wide streets...much like New York. Some mysterious music then began to play lightly and a deep announcer like voice spoke. "In a world...where baggy pants and loose fitting clothing reign supreme..." There was a pause in the announcer man's speech as the TV's image scrolled down to the streets of the city to a group of gangster looking people. The men were wearing shirts so large and baggy that they almost looked like dresses, and their baggy shorts reached all the way down to their shoes. The men sneered at the camera and began to move on with their baggy lifestyle. The announcer voice then came back. "One man, will stand up, and fight!" There was another slight pause as the camera view shifted up to the top of a streetlamp. "He. Is. SPANDEX MAN!" Some very dramatic and very heroic music then began to play and a light shone out of nowhere onto the streetlamp revealing a man standing up there. However before the TV allowed them to get a full view of the man standing there, it's images flashed to show off the different parts of his outfit.

First flash. A very lovely and sexy ass clad only in a very tight pair of black spandex pants that were extra tight around the waist area.

Second flash. A handsome though rather slim chest of a boy in his teen years covered only in a very tight and very small spandex tank top, which was colored deep red.

Third flash. A black cape blowing in a sudden breeze also made completely out of spandex. Right in the middle of the cape there was even the letters "SM" in giant red letters...probably also made out of spandex.

The forth, and hopefully last flash. Finally, the face of the hero was shown. He had short brown hair, which blew with the cape in the breeze, though over his eyes was a small black mask, which was, not surprisingly also made out of spandex. The only surprising thing about the mask was that printed on it were tiny pictures of spandex pants.

The hero stuck a dramatic pose then he flew off his streetlamp down towards the gangsters; his butt whistling a happy little tune as he flew. Finally reaching the men in their baggy clothing he began to beat them up one by one until they were forced to swear to never wear baggy outfits again and to retreat.

It was then that the deep announcer voice came back again. "Spandex man! Saving the world from baggy clothes...one store and person at a time!" Some more dramatic music played then some white letters filled the black screen saying Coming this Fall to a TV near you. With that, the commercial ended.

Back in the room everybody remained silent though they turned to stare at Heero, who blushed and shouted, "Just because it looks like me doesn't me it is me!"

Duo however scratched his head in thought. "Dude...I coulda sworn that was your ass! I could recognize it anywhere..."

Off on the floor Trowa raised an eyebrow. "And HOW would you know?"

With a smirk, Duo fished in his pockets for a little while and finally he found what he was looking for. Holding it up, everybody could see that it was an up-close picture of Heero's ass...clad in his usual tight pants.

Heero's eyes widened and his mouth gaped open. "Where the fuck did you get that?"

Duo just smirked. "Oh, I have one without pants, too!"

"What?" Heero screamed.

"It's not my fault you don't lock the door when you shower."

Heero's eyes widened even more at what Duo just said. "Pervert!"

"Hey!" Duo shouted back defensively. "At least I admire your ass and not put up three thousand copies on the internet!"

Heero's face was beginning to turn red with anger. "You...WHAT?!"

"Oh shit..." Scooting away from Heero a bit for his safety, Duo then grabbed the TV remote and tried to change the topic. "Oh look! It's the next commercial!"

And sure enough, right on cue, the TV changed to a new commercial. This time the TV screen was filled with an image of a blue sky, with a few fluffy white clouds floating lazily around. Some birds were heard chirping and occasionally one would fly by on the screen. The soothing voice of a woman then spoke calmly. "Having a bad day? Feeling unloved? Have unwanted thoughts of suicide?" The woman's voice suddenly grew stronger and more serious. "Well NO MORE!" The voice then grew soft again. "Call 1-800-POLLYINA for a free inspiration video on how to turn that frown upside down!"

The image then changed to a vast field of brightly colored flowers. Then, coming up from the other side of a hill, a woman came into a view. However, upon closer inspection, everybody saw that it wasn't a woman. It was in fact a man...Duo to be exact. His long hair was braided into two pigtails with ribbons tying them on the end. He was wearing a bright yellow sundress and he was happily prancing though the field of flowers. He stopped skipping foreword after a while and he instead bent down and grabbed an armful of flowers. Then spinning around in a circle, he threw the flowers up into the air, causing them to rain down around him and for a few to even get stuck in his hair.

The woman's voice then spoke again. "Call now and you too can be that happy. And remember to hurry. For every minute you spend depressed, you loose sixty seconds of happiness." The number that you were supposed to call once again flashed on the TV screen then the commercial ended.

Back in the room there was absolute silence as everybody stared in horror at Duo. For once Duo was silent though it was clear that he was uncomfortable. Finally, he couldn't remain silent any longer. "I was drunk! I swear to God, I was drunk! I don't' remember any of this!"

Laughing, Heero turned and he whispered to Trowa. "I told you he was a lightweight. You owe me.

Wufei, who was close enough to hear Heero whisper, couldn't help but to shout at that moment. "YOU'RE the one who gave him the beer?"

Heero just shrugged and smirked. "Consider it payback for the photos.

Grumbling, Duo crossed his arms across his chest. "Let's just watch the next commercial."

For a moment, the TV screen was just a solid black of no image, and then slowly...a picture began to take over the screen, though oddly enough, everything was black and white. With of course, a few shades of gray here and there. A really old and small house then took the center of the TV screen. The view then zoomed into the house and up a flight of stairs, and into a bedroom. It was there that a teenaged boy sat. He wore an incredibly tight pair of jeans which, and a band t-shirt with a long sleeved stripped shirt underneath. The boy was sitting at a small wooden desk. The view then switched over to the boys face, showing that the boy...was none other then...Trowa; his long hair covering his left eye and thanks to there only being black and white in this commercial, his normally brown hair appeared to be jet black.

With a sigh, the emo Trowa turned and he looked down at the diary that was open on the desk. With a pen, he then began to write in black ink and he read what he was writing aloud; some music beginning to play out of nowhere.

Dear Diary:

Mood: Apathetic

My life is spiraling downward. I couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate me dry concert. It sucks 'cause they play some of my favorite songs like 'Stab My Heart Because I Love You' and 'Rip Apart My Soul' and of course, 'Stabby Rip Stab Stab'. And it doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thingy. Like that guy from that band can do. Some days, you know...

Trowa stood up from the desk and he turned so that he faced the camera. He then tilted his head to one side, both of his hands being held flat in the air just a few inches from his chest. He then began to sing in a way that just seemed...emo. "I'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be." With one hand, he then pointed at himself. "You'd be non-conforming too if you looked just like me."

The view then switched to Trowa's hands, which showed that all of his nails were painted neatly with some black nail polish. "I have paint on my nails and make-up on my face." The view switched back to showing Trowa's whole body and he just shrugged. "I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs. 'Cause I feel real deep when I'm dressing in drag. I call it freedom of expression; most just call me a fag."

With a sigh, Trowa left the room in the house and he began to make his way down the hallway towards the stairs. "Cause our dudes look like chicks, and our chicks look like dykes. 'Cause emo is one step below transvestite!"

Finally reaching the stairs, he began to slowly walk down them; his hands somehow fitting in his pants tiny and tight pockets. "Stop my breathing and slit my throat...I must be emo. I don't jump around when I go to shows; I must be emo."

Now at the bottom of the stairs, Trowa walked over to the door and he opened it. Walking out, he stepped into the black and white world and he began to walk off, not even bothering to close the house's door behind him. "I'm dark and sensitive with low self-esteem. The way I dress makes every day feel like Halloween."

Reaching the bottom of the hill that the old house was on, Trowa continued to walk...only this time it was towards oncoming traffic. "I have no real problems but I like to make believe. I stole my sister's mascara, now I'm grounded for a week."

However, before Trowa could walk into the traffic, the image faded away. Instead, some white words filled the TV's now black screen, and a voice read them aloud. A voice so depressed sounding that it seemed like the speaker was getting ready to kill himself right then and there. "Want more? Then you'll have to buy our new emo CD which has the Emo Kid song on it." There was a deep and long sigh. "It sucks, I know, but whatever. Look, you can get it for only two easy payments of 19.99. Though you also get a free razor blade with emo pants with the purchase of the CD. So call now."

Despite it saying to call now, no number appeared on the screen. Instead, the commercial just ended, leaving everybody in the room in a dazed state; except for Trowa who shoved his hair in front of his face more so that he could hide and he slumped down.

Finally, Quatre turned and gave his friend and possible lover a concerned look. "You don't really feel that way do you?"

His only answer was some silence.

After a few moments of that, Duo's eyes widened. "Oh my God! Hide all the knives!"

Shaking his head, Heero grabbed the remote and he switched it to another channel, though much to his surprise, there was just another commercial. The TV screen filled with an image of some large and very fancy looking red curtains before it scrolled down to the wooden floor that looked backstage. It was there that a man stood. He looked to be in his teens and he had short blond hair that was neatly groomed.

All of the pilots eyes widened when they saw that the teen was none other then Quatre, and for some reason he was wearing a tuxedo.

Author's Two cents worth...

Zaztei: Hee, well there's chappie one for this fic. Also, I'm not quite sure how many parts this fic is going to have. Honestly. When I started out writing it I was hoping that it would only be one chappie long, though, it's turning out to be a lot longer then I planned. However, everybody who appeared at the house and is watching the TV will appear in an comercial. So that means the five main pilots, the scientists, Zechs and Trieze, and even a little 'surprise' person at the end. Fun eh?

Ah! And before I forget, if you love this story then there's another person who deserves a round of applause. For, this story was, in fact, created by two people. Me; Zaztei, and my friend Saphira112. Ya might have heard of her! Ya see, we were really bored and hyper one day so we decided to give all the people nicknames. Before we knew it, the simple list of nicknames, had spanned a story for each one...

Saphira: Okay, Zaztei, I think they get the point. Oh...are you gonna have fun with Wufei's upcoming one? With how much you call him-

Zaztei: MUSHU!

Saphira: Figures...

Zaztei: Hee hee hee, sorry if any of ya peeps like Wufei a lot. Hee, I don't hate him or anything, but I do like to pick on him a lot. Mwahahaha!

Saphira: Aaaaanyway, to make a long story short we were bored and decided to come up with nicknames for the pilots and then decided to make a crack fic about them.

Zaztei: The story is only posted on my page, cause I'm the one who actually wrote it. Saphira over there helped with the editing and by throwing in her ideas to make the story even longer and to torture me with.

Saphira: Also, if you like this version then we have a surprise for you. You'll have to wait till the very end of the story to hear it though.

Zaztei: Also, between each of the chappies, there's gonna be a special blooper edition! YAY!

Saphira: ...

Zaztei: Hmm...also thinking about how odd it is having Trowa's commercial right after Duo's. Duo's is all happy and telling you to LIVE then we get a little emo one saying to DIE! Odd...though I guess the order is important. Ah well, sankies for listening to my two cents worth and see ya'll in the bloopers! Err...or maybe chappie two at least!