The sun was creeping up and the birds were singing. The dawn light trickled through the window into the Gryffindor common room.
"Urgh… go away…" Sirius moaned as James attempted to carry him up the stairs back to their dormitory.
"Come on Sirius, people will be waking up soon. When did you get so heavy?"
Startled by a yawn, James turned to the stairs where Remus was stood looking rather bemused at the sight of James trying, rather pathetically, to haul a half naked Sirius up the stairs.
"Sleep walking again?" Remus asked, as if this was a normal event.
"No, we were just making rampant gay love on the sofa." he replied sarcastically.
"There's no need to get sarcy, do you want a hand or not?"
With Remus to help him the job was far easier for James, why his friend had to start sleep walking all of a sudden he did not know. What made it worse was that Sirius refused to admit that he was. This coupled with his tendency to sleep wearing very little clothing was a recipe for disaster, and meant that James had to get up early to make sure that no first year girls fainted at the sight of Sirius' bare chest.
"We really need to get to the bottom of this; it's beginning to annoy me now." James wheezed as they eventually dropped Sirius onto his bed.
A voice came from beneath them, "I concur."
"So you finally admit you have a problem then?" Remus asked, surprised that Sirius had woken up.
"Maybe… Thanks for the lift up the stairs by the way; I really couldn't be bothered to walk at this time of the morning." Sirius replied, sliding off the bed and pulling on a clean shirt.
"You were awake? We struggled for fifteen minutes to get you up those bloody stairs!" spat an exasperated James, fumbling for his wand so he could hex Sirius.
"James, you're wearing pyjamas still, your wand is over there by your bed." Remus pointed out; amused by how stupid his friend could be when he got annoyed.
"Wozz goin' on?" a voice mumbled from the bed in the corner.
"Nothing Pete, go back to sleep." Remus said calmly. "I worry about you sometimes James, we're starting our fifth year now and you still have to resort to violence whenever you feel the least bit upset."
"Shut up perfect prefect, what are you going to do? Put me in detention?" James retorted. Even though Remus knew this was a joke it still annoyed him a little bit.
"Just because teachers can actually trust me James… I know you're jealous really." Remus joked, hiding his annoyance.
"Is it breakfast yet?" a voice chimed from behind them.
"Yes Sirius, but I recommend you don't eat any. If you want me and James to carry on taking you back up the stairs to prevent your embarrassment then you could do with losing some weight. Fatty." Remus joked.
"How dare you make such careless jokes, you know how sensitive I am about my weight!" with this, Sirius stormed off in a mock tantrum to the Great Hall for his ritual breakfast of sausages, bacon, eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms and fried bread.
It wasn't until he was half way down the stairs that he realized that he was still undressed, and had to return to his three dorm mates, who were all in fits of laughter.
After dressing the four marauders managed to make their way down to breakfast together without any major hissy fits, although there was a minor fight between James and Sirius over the mirror. It also seemed that any damage caused by Sirius' night time wanderings had been avoided again as there were no sniggers from other students, just the usual admiring glances of the school's female population.
"God I've missed breakfast here, the food at home is just awful compared to what we eat here." said Peter before following James and Sirius' example and digging into breakfast.
Remus merely laughed and shook his head at his friends' behaviour whilst helping himself to a piece of toast.
"So, any ideas about the whole sleep walking thing?" James asked in a hushed tone so as not to draw attention.
"Dunno, I didn't even realise I was doing until I woke up in the Common Room this morning."
"Yeah, well you ended up in my bed the other morning." Remus added, causing both boys to blush furiously for no apparent reason.
"Maybe something's troubling you. That can cause problems with sleep."
"Merlin's Beard! Peter, did you just say something intelligent?" James said in, only semi-mock, surprise.
"No, it's not that. I'm not exactly stressed out am I?"
This was true, Sirius was, along with James, one of the most relaxed students in Hogwarts, compared to the tightly wound sprung that was Remus he was positively chilled. In fact, he was possibly the only student in his year that wasn't at all scared by the prospect of the O. at the end of the year.
"Hmmm... I suspect that there may be some kind of magical involvement. I mean it's not exactly impossible is it?" James pointed out, fully aware of how obvious he sounded.
"Yeah, but who would want to do something like this to me? I'm positively lovable!"
"Of course you are Sirius... You keep telling yourself that and it may come true one day," said Remus, laughing at how oblivious Sirius was.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius asked, looking hurt. He had always thought himself the kind, gentle type.
"Well, think about it. You and James aren't exactly the nicest of people at times are you? I'm sure there are plenty of people who would like to humiliate you."
"What are you dragging me into this for?" James asked, shocked at Remus' statement.
"I don't know why you're acting so shocked either. It's only a week into term and you've already had one detention for duelling in the corridors."
This made Peter laugh a bit too much, but one look from Sirius was enough to shut him up again.
"Can you not think of anyone who might want to hurt you?" Remus asked, slightly exasperated.
Sirius and James glanced darkley at each other before saying in unison: "Snivellus."
***
Night was falling, the sun had set and the stars were out. The clock read almost midnight, but the marauders were still not asleep, kept awake by their plans to find out who was being cruel enough to play such a trick on Sirius. Their only companions in the common room was a group of sixth years who seemed to be too immersed in their work to be paying attention to the silly plans of four boys. This was probably quite lucky.
"Well, we already know it's Snivellus so really we need to think of a trap that he'd be stupid enough to fall into." said Sirius, who was rather bored by this discussion now despite the fact that it concerned him the most. They had been talking about it all day after all.
"I know we all assume that it's Snivellus, but it could be someone else you know." Remus pointed out for what seemed to be the hundredth time.
"God, we're just going around in circles now. Let's just try and think of possible causes. I mean, what kind of spell could cause this?" James asked, looking at Remus as he tended to know more on these subjects, one could say that books were his thing, and the library his natural habitat.
"Stop looking at me James! I honestly don't know, if I did I would have said something earlier. I'm not so harsh that I want the entire House to see Sirius in all of his naked glory."
"Naked glory?" Asked Sirius, rather confused.
"It's a saying, Sirius." Said Remus, trying to reassure his friend.
"So you don't think I look glorious when I'm naked?"
Remus opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by James.
"You two, shut up. We'll never think of anything if we carry on getting distracted. Now, Peter, what do you think?"
There was no reply. Three of the marauders turned to the fourth to see that he was asleep in his chair.
"Maybe this is a sign we should go up to bed." Remus said, raising his eyebrows at how Peter could fall asleep literally anywhere.
With this, the marauders went up the spiral staircase to their dormitory, leaving the sixth years to work in peace, and Peter to sleep in his chair.
***
"Urgh, Sirius get off. You're crushing me and I can't breath" James moaned. Nothing happened. "Sirius bloody Black, get the hell off me right now or I'll curse you into next week!"
At this Sirius jumped up, and ran back over to his bed. He knew that James always kept to his threats.
"I'm sorry James, you're obviously so irresistible that I can't stay away from you. Even in my sleep." Sirius felt he was now a safe enough distance away from his friend to make this comment. "Too be honest, I'm surprised Moony hasn't made a move yet mate."
"Shut up and go back to sleep you two, it's half past five and I am knackered after all your walking around. All I can say is thank god you didn't leave the dorm." Remus said before violently closing the curtain around his bed.
Sirius and James stared at each other in the darkness, shocked by how touchy Remus was being all of a sudden. Sirius opened his mouth to speak.
"And before you say it Sirius, it is NOT nearly that time of the month!"
"He's a bloody mind reader, he is," Sirius mumbled so that only James, whose bed was next to his, could hear.
James laughed before rolling over and going back to sleep.
***
Once again morning had sprung upon Hogwarts, although it was a rather windy one, and as the post arrived that morning in the Great Hall, Sirius couldn't help but notice that the owls looked a little windswept. He was about to comment on this when he got distracted by the arrival of a certain Slytherin.
"Look at him," Sirius muttered, "I bet there all in on it. Him and his stupid Slytherin cronies. God I hate Snivellus."
"Come on, let's go." Remus said, trying to hurry his friends along and avoid any trouble.
Despite the fact that it was a Saturday, the Marauders found themselves in the library under Remus' orders. James was not best pleased about this.
"Come on Moony, it's a Saturday. I cannot be seen in the library on a Saturday, you have no idea how damaging it could be for my reputation. I should be practising Quidditch or something." James moaned. He hated the library a little more that most students, all the dust from the books made him sneeze and books were most definitely not his thing. That's not to say he wasn't intelligent, he just didn't like, or need, to study.
"Can you not just forget your reputation for two minutes James?" Remus said, feeling rather exasperated, "We need to help Sirius, and to do that we need to think of a way to trap Snivellus in the act. This means finding out what spell he's using."
"Did you just say Snivellus?" asked James, forgetting how annoyed he was.
"No, you miss heard me, I said Severus."
"I think he said Snivellus James, and after all the times he's told us off. Tut tut." Sirius said, laughing at how flustered Remus was getting.
"Just- just- shut up! Do you want my help or not Sirius?"
After three whole hours of leafing through books, it was Peter who found what they were looking for. Possibly spurred on by his now rumbling stomach he had been pouring frantically over volumes and volumes, shocking his friends.
"I've found it!" he squeaked.
"What have you found Peter?" Remus asked, without the enthusiasm of his friend, Peter tended to get things wrong sometimes.
Peter pushed the book across the desk towards Remus and James; the cover read "Forgotten Curses and Hexes to Impress your Friends". Remus skimmed the page in question; it seemed to be what they were looking for. It described a rather tricky spell that had a hypnosis-like effect, causing problems with sleep – including sleep walking.
"Well, Peter that definitely sounds like it and you should count yourself lucky that you haven't got any of the other effects." Remus said, still reading.
"Why? What are they?" Sirius asked, suddenly worried about what might happen to him.
"Nightmares, sleep talking – although that would annoy us more than you – falling asleep at random intervals. Amongst others," James replied matter-of-factly.
"That could explain why I always fall asleep in History of Magic!" Sirius said, rather excited by this new nugget of information.
"No Sirius, you've been doing that since the first year. Anyway, the spell also requires whoever is casting it to redo parts of it every evening, you know so it doesn't wear off." Remus added.
"So what do we do now?" Peter asked, feeling all pleased with himself for finding the correct spell.
"We come up with a plan to catch Snivellus in the act," Sirius replied, smiling. Plans were his forte.
"But first we go to lunch!" James said before standing up, thankful that he could finally leave the wretched library, he really couldn't understand why Remus loved it in there so much.
"Thank Merlin for that!" said Peter.
After a quick lunch, the Marauders found themselves back in the Gryffindor common room, in their usual seats by the fire, thinking of ways to catch Snape. Remus thought that he may be able to use a charm to trace where the magic was coming from, which meant he would be easier to track. The rest would be left to Sirius and James, they were definitely better at the whole trapping and torturing thing.
"So that's sorted then? Tonight Remus will track the spell using that thing he tried to explain and none of us understood and then Sirius and I will move in and make sure Snivellus regrets ever trying to mess with you." James said, the others all nodded in agreement.
As darkness fell once again, Remus got ready to perform his tricky little charm, watched eagerly by his friends who were all rather excited by the prospect of catching Snape, and making sure he got what he deserved, and they were going to deal with Sirius' problem once and for all.
Remus finished his charm, his wand acting like a sort of radar that picked up the source of the spell.
"Come on then," he said, "do you want to catch Snape or not?"
The marauders followed the signal down to the second floor, although they were rather slow seeing as they were hidden under James' Invisibility Cloak.
"God I hope we don't run into Filch. Why did you have to go and get that Map confiscated Sirius?"
Sirius mumbled his apologies and they carried onwards, coming to a stop outside the girls' bathroom.
"Seems like a strange place." Peter pointed out.
"Well I've always had my doubts," James replied, deadly serious.
"Shall we?" Remus asked, hoping they could just get this over and done with, now he had done his part he just wanted to get out of there seeing as he really didn't condone all the violence his friends used.
"After you then Sirius," said James.
Sirius got from under the Cloak and opened the door slowly, peering through. He didn't see anything so opened it fully and entered, followed by his friends who were all rather shocked by the sight that stood before them. Sirius stood speechless for the first time in his life, it was James who finally broke the silence.
"YOU? What about Snivellus?"
"I do wish you'd stop calling him that James. You can be such a bully at times," Replied a rather bemused looking Lily Evans.
The four Marauders stood staring at her in a state of shock, it wasn't until she spoke again that they snapped out of it.
"Why the shocked faces? It can't be that unbelievable that I'm behind all this, after all the things you've done to me in the past."
"What do you mean by that? Our behaviour towards you is never anything less than chivalrous... Well Remus' anyway... But we're not that bad..." James was starting to babble now, which is never a good sign. Lily always had that effect on him.
"James you surely can't believe that can you? You constantly torture us girls with your brutish behaviour. Although you're not quite as bad as Sirius, which is why he was the object of our little prank."
"Little prank?" Fumed Sirius, "Your devious actions have been nothing short of torturous to me. And what do you mean by 'our prank'? Who else is in on this? I will have my revenge..."
"Oh shut up Sirius, we're not going to be taking revenge on Lily I'm sure she has her reasons and will stop now she's been caught."
"You would take her side wouldn't you James? Your always sucking it up to her, 'oh Lily, you're sooooo beautiful, I love you..."
Fortunately Sirius' monologue was cut short by James throwing a shoe at his head, although all this did was cause Sirius to launch himself at James knocking them both to the floor with a thump.
"Shush you two! Someone will hear us, and I don't want another detention." Peter was being uncharacteristically sensible.
"Will you two please stop acting like a couple of children? Do you want an explaination or not?" Scolded Lily, whilst rolling her eyes at Remus who found the whole situation rather humerous.
"Fine. So why did you do it, you flame-haired Jezebel" asked Sirius, earning himself a rather dirty look from his best friend.
"Well, remember how I just said it was 'our plan'? Quite a few Gryffindor girls are less than happy with the way you have treated them, taunting and teasing. Flirting and flaunting. Constantly moving from girl to girl – your constant womanising is becoming a bore."
"Womanising? Me? I adore women! I cherish them! I love them! I make them feel nothing but wanted!"
"That's not really the problem, its more you inability to commit – constantly going from one girl to another, it really isn't acceptable you have to realise that these girls have feelings. How would you like it if they treated you like that. Actually, don't answer that."
"Fine... They have feelings, I get that. Whatever. Will you stop now?" Sirius was becoming increasingly aware of the look on Remus' face – a mixture of reproval and disappointment. "I've learnt my lesson and all that – honestly I won't bother the girls anymore."
"We'll see." And with that, Lily glided from the room, a cheeky smile of satisfaction plastered across her face.
Everyone turned to Sirius, each wearing a different look upon their face. Peter's was one of confusion, whist James was clearly struggling not to collapse into a fit of laughter. Remus on the other hand looked cold and distant.
"Come on. It's all sorted now; we may as well go back to the dorm," mumbled Remus before exiting the room, without waiting for the others to follow.
"Remus! Wait! You need to get under the cloak." James called after him, to no avail. "Oh well, I'm sure he won't get caught."
Thankfully, James was right. He, Peter and Sirius arrived back at the dorm to find Remus already in bed, and (apparently) asleep. The other Marauders followed suit, and soon everyone apart from Remus was happily snoring away. Obviously he knew the extents of Sirius' behaviour when it came to girls, he was constantly bragging about his latest conquest, usually this would be when Remus excused himself from the conversation not wanting to hear Sirius' tales of debauchery – he found it rather upsetting – for obvious reasons. "Enough" he mumbled to himself, closing his eyes before descending into a troubled sleep.
In the opposite bed, Sirius was doing a very good job of feigning sleep. He just couldn't forget the look on his friend's face when Lily was berating him, why did he look so upset? But more importantly why did he care so much about Remus' feelings? Of course he cared for Remus, they were close friends, but this felt different from the way he thought of James or Peter. Sirius wanted to be able to protect him from this hurt, to ease his pain and apparent anger, to make him happy. He sighed and rolled over to try to sleep, deciding it was far too late to be thinking about such things.