A/N: Well, Here I am with a new fic, instead of updating an old one. There are reasons for that... Not that I'm sure any fans I still have would appreciate them but meh, can't please everyone. I will say one of the reasons is I can't stand the turn the Naruto manga has taken, and as most of my fics are Naruto based it kills my buzz. SO here I am with a One Piece fic! My fav series these days. So sit back, buckle up and keep all limbs in the vehicle we are going for a ride!

Prologue

Sickness, disease, as the Pirate King so aptly demonstrated, it can overcome even the strongest of us. Still, there are plenty of things you can do to minimize the chances of such a thing, sadly leaving a chunk of steering wheel lodged in your head, where the wood can rot and cause horrific infection, leading to painful death. This was a lesson Golden Shiki learned the hard way 4 years after his epic escape from the great gaol, Impel Down. But this isn't a story about him, he serves merely as the catalyst, for with his death, a particular fruit of a certain tree... Changed. In another world, and another place, this particular fruit would become a Gomu Gomu fruit, but here, now, the Fuwa Fuwa no Mi was reborn.

Much like the hypothetical Gomu Gomu fruit would have found its way into the possession of a certain red haired pirate, so to did the Fuwa Fuwa no Mi. Here it was, in a small bar, in a small village on a small island, in the weakest of seas, this fruit was mistaken for dessert by a hungry and angry child. This child is the hero of our tale, and a massive force of change for the world, not that he knows that yet. Right now he's more concerned with the fact the stool he was just sitting in is floating up by the roof of the bar, as is he. Quite the conundrum no?

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Well, that's all well and good but let us fast forward a few years to the interesting parts of our story.

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Monkey D Luffy was standing, well... floating really, above the lone surviving marine battleship. In the seas surrounding him the remains of 9 other battleships were slowly sinking, and burning around the swirling abyss where the island of Enies Lobby used to reside. Smoke choked the air while flames consumed the wreckage below him. He was soaked to the bone, his red silk shirt torn, and stained with blood, his black captain's coat fraying at the edges. Even so, he cut an intimidating figure, radiating pure fury towards the marine ship below him. "LISTEN UP ALL OF YOU." He yelled, his voice rining like cannon fire, "You all get to live to serve as messengers! This is what happens when you mess with my crew! My nakama! MY FAMILY! Let this be a warning! You come at me in force and I WILL respond in kind! And next time I won't be so nice about it! You understand?!"

The terrified marines looked at the furious pirate captain above, then at the broken and moaning bodies of Cp-9, the government's terrifying assassination squad, on the deck in front of them. They couldn't nod their heads fast enough. "Yes sir! Er, pirate scum! Uh.. Sir?" The last ranking offer bit out.

Luffy nodded, "Good. Now GO!" And with that he floated back down to-

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Wait, what do you mean I skipped to far ahead? This is my damn story I think I know how it goes! Besides this is the totally awesome stuff! What do you mean you want it from the start? Fine! Have it your way!

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Roughly 19 years ago, a man called Monkey D Dragon met a woman and fell in love, or lust, or something. Anyways, after some time a child was born unto them! And they named it Luffy, stupid name I know, must have been a rough pregnancy. Anyways, this child-

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Oh now what! What's that? This is to far back? Well aren't we a picky audience! Back in my day you'd listen to what the narrator told you dammit, none of this back talk sass I've been getting from you ungrateful bunch. Damn narrator college never prepared me for this kind of crap. You want me to start in the normal place? Well... NO! Screw you! Everyone knows how it starts! I'm not changing that much, just the odd detail. Well I don't care how important you think details are I'm not-

Fine! Ugh, just, just stop making that sound. Ugh. Look, let's compromise. What do ya say we skip on past Alvida, Morgan, Buggy, Kuro and Kreig? What? You want Kreig? But why? He's such a damn- Fine! Just stop that! Ugh. People these days... You ungrateful f-

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All right, so, Instead of finding our intrepid crew at the epic battle of Enies lobby we find them still in east blue, looking for a cook. Also known as the boring ass- Fine fine I'll do it proper! Geez... Where was I? Right, the Fish-teraunt.

The Going Merry was pulled along side the Baratie, a fish themed restaurant ship, famous for its- You know I just can't get over that things looks. I mean c'mon who builds boats like that? Were they making a statement or trying to be ironically cool or something? * cough* Anyways, a casual observer would notice a marine ship, also alongside. This particular ship was captained by Lt Ironfist Fullbody, your average forgettable douchebag of a marine. Upon seeing a pirate ship he did the reasonably Marine thing to do and opened fire. Luffy levitated a tendril of water which smacked the cannon ball from the air... and into the Fish-teraunt. Yeah.. turns out redirecting cannon fire into someones ship isn't the best way to start a recruitment drive. We join our favourite crew inside.

"So to summarize, you'll be working here for a year." said the old pirate cook with an air of finality.

"Whoa! Hell no old man! And who starts a conversation with 'So to summarize?'" Luffy yelled back, his hands thrown in the air.

Zeff stared down at Luffy, "..." And then kicked his peg leg into the not-at-all-a-rubberboy's stomach, sending him crashing through a wall. "And I'm adding that wall to your bill as well."

The straw hat captain probably would have responded with some indignation had he not been clutching his bruised ribs in agony. Oh? Surprised they aren't broken? Well, even when he isn't made of rubber he is of Garp's line, and they are ridiculously hardy folk.

At any rate, the rest of the straw hat crew found the whole situation terribly amusing.

Zoro laughed as he chugged back a mug of grog, "I give him a week before this ship is on fire."

Nami raised an eyebrow as she sipped at a glass of wine, "A week? Rather generous of you. I give it 3 days."

Usopp looked up form his plate, "So until Luffy comes back I will graciously accept post as captain-" He was interrupted as both his crew mates smacked his head into the table.

"Hell no!" They said in unison.

Any further conversation was halted as a thin broken figure stumbled in through the doors. "Food..."

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And you know what? I'm going to stop there for now. Bet you wish you hadn't been such pains earlier huh? This is what you get when you mess with narrators! Cliffhangers! Enjoy!

...

A/N: And so ends the first chapter.. prologue, what have you. I'll try to make longer chapters in the future but.. well, this is what you get for now. Now, as for my other stories... I just don't know. I'm debating just starting over with most of them as I'm not overly pleased with where they are at the moment, and my own wiritng... Meh, my tastes have changed since I started writing and most of my old stories don't really line up with them. Well.. I'll try and think of something. Should I just rewrite them? Or let them stand as they are? Anyways, hope you enjoyed the start of this story, I had fun writing it. As always! Read and review!

TTFN