"But, Levi, can you see them? All of our comrades?"
Erwin, oh, Erwin.
"They want to know what we'll do with the hearts they dedicated to our cause. Because they may be gone, but their fight isn't over."
Levi's heart was so tight he could hardly breathe. No, Erwin, don't do this to me.
"Is it all nothing more than my own childish delusion?"
The thumping of Levi's heart echoed in the vacuum of that statement.
Erwin, that golden man, the invincible commander, ten steps ahead and unfazable.
Levi knew, had always known, that the mask would crack. No one could be that perfect, like metal without a seam, like the walls. There was always something underneath, some big secret. He had spent so much of those first few years trying to figure it out. But Erwin had never let him in, him nor anyone else. He alone bore the burden of his own delusions.
And now he had thrust this upon Levi. He had given him the choice. A choice where there could be no regrets.
Levi fell to one knee, bent before his commander, his friend, his idol. The man he'd followed into battle more times than he could count, respected more than he ever let on, loved in a way he'd never really acknowledged.
He took Erwin's hand in his and swallowed.
"You've fought a good fight. We've only come this far thanks to you."
Those big, blue eyes were on him now, usually so intense and intimidating, but now just… expectant, waiting, hoping. Like a child.
Levi forced himself to keep talking.
"I'm making the choice. Give up on your dreams and die for us."
There was no turning back now. He was gripping Erwin's hand far too hard.
"Lead the recruits straight into hell and I'll take down the beast titan."
Erwin looked up at him then, his face transformed, the pain and anguish and guilt all suddenly wiped away. He smiled at Levi like an angel, it was so beautiful, and Levi realized that, in that moment, he was Erwin's angel as well. He felt his own anguish melt into wide-eyed wonder.
Erwin placed his hand on Levi's right cheek, the rough skin of his calloused palm gently cupping Levi's face. Levi couldn't help but lean into it, he closed his eyes and turned into Erwin's palm, for absolution, for comfort. He felt the heat of Erwin's life transmitted there, felt more than heard the violent beating of his heart. Time ceased to exist.
Levi felt Erwin's hand pulling his face upwards. Levi, still kneeling, had to straighten his back to stay within Erwin's touch. He opened his eyes and saw Erwin face very close to his. His eyes were soft, and his normally severe eyebrows were pursed and gentle. His mouth, which Levi had always called ugly in its resting frown, did not look like a frown, but a question, his pale, pink lips parted slightly.
Levi drew his eyes back up to Erwin's and they looked closely at each other for a heartbeat or ten. Then Levi was leaning into him, his eyes closing of their own accord, and he felt Erwin's heat on him, felt Erwin's surprisingly soft lips on his, the wetness of their tongues in their exploratory dance.
This man… this man had touched Levi in so many ways, he had changed his life, he was his life, his life was his.