AN: I don't normally write for Arrow, but I felt after 6x13 something was missing. Obviously, William leaving to follow Oliver needs to be addressed between the Queens.
I don't own anything.
This was not how tonight was supposed to end. She was wearing her most modest dress, Oliver's favorite. After her and Alena found the lead, Felicity was sure the end of Cayden James was going to be tonight. Then, there would be a celebration, drinks, maybe even talk of a honeymoon.
Felicity snapped herself out of her thoughts and sighed as she threw out the remnants of the take-out containers. They had stopped for food on the way home, and everything was quiet….too quiet. After sending William to bed and Oliver to shower, she busied herself with cleanup duty. She didn't want to think. She didn't want to feel, but her head and her heart were going a million miles a minute.
She stacked the dishes in the sink and rinsed them before putting them in the dishwasher. She could feel strong emotions pooling in her chest, but she couldn't quite identify them. She didn't get angry very often. She was known for using her loud voice, but that was typically saved for when she was feeling sad. She snorted sadistically at that thought. Typical defense mechanism, especially for women, to cover feelings with anger.
She heard the shower go off. She was working slowly, avoiding going upstairs. She turned, rag in hand, to wipe off the counter and saw William standing tentatively in the doorway.
"Can't sleep?" Her voice was soft, and she tried to keep her motions steady as she wiped up crumbs and sauce.
"Yeah," William responded softly. Her heart broke at the sound. This poor kid. He had been through hell. She wished things were different for his sake.
"You know, when I was young, my mom used to make me some warm milk when I couldn't sleep. Would you like to try it?" She worked to keep her voice soft and gentle, pushing her emotions down. Whatever she was feeling was nothing compared to what William, or even Oliver, was feeling.
"Sure." He gave her a small smile, and she returned it before she turned back to the sink, rinsing the rag and washing her hands, moving at more of a normal pace. She placed a pot on the stove and poured the milk in, turning the burner on. She could feel the tension between them. She wanted to say something, but she didn't know if it was her place or if it would just make things worse.
As she waited for the milk to warm up, she took off her earrings and necklace, laying them on the counter before grabbing a mug. She stirred the milk and took a peak at William. His head was down, and he was fidgeting with his fingers.
Poor kid. He probably just wanted a drink of water and walked right into his stepmother, who he was probably trying to avoid. She sighed audibly before turning off the burner and pouring the milk. She placed it gently in front of William and watched him take a small sip.
She leaned on the counter. Maybe, it wasn't her place, but she had to say something.
"I'm sorry, William." Her voice was soft, and she didn't allow it to break as much as she wanted. She would love to break down and just sob, but that was out of the question. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she could feel Oliver standing in the doorway and knew he was frozen there. He might be able to sneak up on her, but she always knew he was there as soon as he looked at her.
William took another small sip and looked up at her with a slightly confused expression. Felicity swallowed and continued.
"When I saw you on my screen, I got really worried, more worried than I have ever been before. Your dad….he can take care of himself, but you…" She let her voice trail off. She didn't know if it was appropriate to say what she wanted to, but more importantly, she didn't know if she could without letting tears fall.
"I'm sorry, too," William responded so softly, Felicity didn't think Oliver could hear. She gave him a small smile.
"Could I maybe give you a hug?" William's request brought a more genuine smile to Felicity's face. It wasn't something they did often, once when they got off the island and a couple times after his mother's death.
"Of course," Felicity said lightly as she stepped around the counter and opened her arms. She could hear the tension release from her voice, and she hugged him tightly, kissing the top of his head. She had always tried to keep her distance from William. She didn't want him to ever think that she was trying to replace his mom, and she definitely did not want to step on Oliver's toes. She had read a ton of parenting books, but she only ever gave Oliver advice if he asked for it.
"Get to bed, ok?" Felicity said quietly, releasing him with one last squeeze of his shoulder. She watched him exit the kitchen as Oliver ruffled his hair with a faint, "Night, buddy." She felt more emotional than before if that was even possible. She grabbed the now empty mug and brought it to the sink as Oliver slinked into the kitchen.
"I'll be up in a minute," she said quietly.
"Hey," Oliver's voice was soft as he stopped behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Felicity froze. She didn't want to have this conversation tonight, or maybe ever.
"You've been uncharacteristically quiet tonight." He kissed her temple softly, filling her with guilt.
"Oliver, I'm sorry." Felicity could feel the lump in her throat grow and felt Oliver's arms tighten around her as his nose nuzzled her neck.
"You have nothing to apologize for," he said firmly. Felicity dropped her head and jerked around to face him, causing his arms to loosen around her.
"Oliver, I can't do this tonight." Her voice was desperate, pleading. His eyes looked hurt.
"Do what?" His voice was calm, soft.
"When I agreed to be with you the first time, when I married you, I knew that…" she trailed off and took a breath before continuing, "that I would have to reassure you about things….but I just can't do that tonight." Her voice cracked at the end, and she knew Oliver was astute enough to pick up on it. He gave her that look, the pleading look, pleading with her to continue.
"Tonight wasn't your fault. It was mine. I'm sorry I wasn't watching William closely enough in the bunker. I should have kept him next to me the entire time. He never should have a had the chance to run off like that." She leaned her forehead into his chest, so she wouldn't have to look into his eyes, but she knew it was fruitless. Oliver could tell how she was feeling just by her body language. She felt his arms return to the small of her back, pulling her closer to him.
"It's not your fault, and, honestly, it is my fault. I chose to live this life and continue after William. I put him in the position tonight to come after me, but he's also ten. He should know not to come after me, or, at the very least, listen to me when I tell him to do something." Felicity could feel herself tense at Oliver's words. This was not what she was expecting. She slowly lifted her head to look at him, confusion all over her face.
"I wanted to ask you what you thought we should do. The only thing I can come up with is to ground him, but you read all those books, and you're wicked smart." His lip twitched into a small smile, but Felicity just stared at him absolutely astonished. She lifted her hands up slowly and grabbed onto his biceps.
"Oliver, no, you can't punish him for having feelings or being scared." Her voice got louder, and she took another deep breath to calm herself.
"I mean I know I'm just the stepmom, but he's still mourning his mother and he doesn't want to lose his father on top of that. Cut the kid some slack." If Felicity was any stronger, she would have been shaking Oliver with how tightly she was gripping him.
Oliver let out a slow breath. "We need to talk about...all of that." Once again, his arms tightened around her, bringing her body flush with his.
"You're not just the stepmom. You clearly love William, and I know this is new for him, but I think he loves you too." He removed his hands from her waist and cupped her face.
"And I value and trust your advice, but I still think there should be consequences for his actions." He gave her a gentle kiss and then settled his arms back around her waist, one of the many reasons Felicity loved Oliver. He knew her, really knew her. He could pick up on all her insecurities just by the way she talked, and they were really good at fighting. In Ivy Town, where they just fought over stupid things like brunch with the neighbors or what to watch on TV, they learned that their fights were most productive with physical contact. It eased Oliver's instinct that everything was his fault, and it eased Felicity's insecurities that Oliver would just up and leave like her father had done so many years ago.
Felicity laid her head on his chest and sighed.
"Maybe, he should spend more time in the bunker," Felicity said slowly, knowing that Oliver probably wouldn't like that suggestion. "That way, I can spend more time with him, and he can see that you can hold your own." She could feel Oliver stiffen. She knew he didn't want to expose William to any more of this lifestyle, but he was already exposed.
Felicity took the chance to look up at his face and gauge his reaction. "Or we can talk to William and see what he thinks," she added. Her arms moved from his arms to around his neck, pulling herself closer to him. He simply nodded in response.
"Let's sleep on it," Oliver replied. His eyes were soft, letting Felicity know that everything was ok. She would still probably need a long cry in the shower tonight, but they would be ok.
"Resume brainstorming in the morning," she nodded in response with a smirk. She stood on her tippy toes and softly kissed him before laying her head back on his chest.
Everything was going to be ok.