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It should have been me. He should have let it be me. No, no I would never wish him to feel this pain, this utter pain at his loss. Or should I say, this pain again. I mean I chose not to be healed last time. But I came back to him.
There has to be a way to bring him back, there has to. We've not yet managed to contact Thor. He'll know how to bring him back. He has to. I mean, what is SG1 without their leader? What am I without Jack?
"I love you.' Those three little words that he spoke, the last words that he spoke, haunt me. And I cling onto them desperately as I flounder in my tidal wave of grief, barely keeping from drowning.
He died a hero's death, the way that he would have wanted to go. He saved the world, again. Is he really even dead? Or will he forever just rest there encased in his tomb of glass, as though he is sleeping. Can we save him? Or am I just holding onto impossibilities and the treacherous tendrils of hope that grow around my heart.
I tell myself that he has gone to a better place and my mind automatically gives me the image of Jack moaning about cliches. Which really does not help. God, Jack I miss you. And I will find a way to bring you back to me. Our story hasn't ended yet.
FIN