a/n: before you read this, before I even write this I want to state that I have not yet read 'Ghosts of Boyfriends Past' by jaybunzy0. I want to say this because if anything in my story is remotely similar I want to apologize ahead of time. I could have stopped that by reading it first, but I didn't want to be tainted and (to be honest) scared out of writing this fic. When I saw the prompt it instantly clutched at my heart and made me stop breathing for a second. I thought it was brilliant and I really wanted to do it justice. I considered not even touching it because I saw how happy morvamp was with the first story that was posted for her prompt, but after careful consideration I decided to give it a go anyways. With my fingers and my toes crossed of course.

Dedicated to morvamp for her truly beautiful idea and making a prompt too incredibly wonderful to resist even though I'm terrified to write it.

Elena punched her pillow and forced her eyes to close. As a child she'd gone right to sleep on Christmas Eve, unlike Jeremy who stayed up all night with his eyes and ears pressed close to the door waiting for Santa. Then the miracle of a jolly red fat man had been broken and he'd learned to watch for his parents bringing presents down to put under the tree. That memory ended not long after when they'd died. Still, Elena had always been the good girl and gone to sleep. Sleep was the best way to pass the time, meaning presents would come sooner. Christmas always made her feel like a kid again, until Aunt Jenna died, until Ric died. She really didn't have any use for Christmas this year. Jeremy wouldn't be sitting curled up on the floor next to his bedroom door, waiting for Santa or their parents or Aunt Jenna to be sneaking presents under the tree.

There would be no pancakes warm and waiting for them in the morning to come bounding down the stairs to. The living room, the kitchen would be as cold and empty as it was now and that is what kept Elena awake. The utter truth of the fact that she was completely alone. Jeremy wanted to kill her, out of his own control. She had no parents to speak of, though in the last three years she'd gone through three sets. Both of her birth parents had sacrificed themselves. Her adoptive parents had died in the bridge accident. Jenna and Ric had died from supernatural interference, and all for her. All for her to become this…this vampire creature. She was doomed to walk the earth for eternity and to do it alone. Eventually Jeremy would die and she would bury him as she had the rest of her family. Bonnie would follow one day, maybe sooner.

The only thing that was constant, the only thing she knew for certain was that Damon and Stefan would be there, waiting for her until the end of the world, waiting for her to make her final choice. The only thing that could stop that, that could save them all was her. She had to make the choice, had to be the one to break one of their hearts for the final time. The pain of drawing it all out was just slowly going to kill them if they kept on this way. Stefan wouldn't give up; wouldn't give her up and neither would Damon. Their love for her was too strong, too pure but it was their brotherhood that stopped them both from ending the pain. For all the talk they had of killing the other, she knew it would never come down to that. If it came down to anything, she would be the one to die.

A sick feeling entered her stomach and it sank a little lower in her gut as her eyes popped open. She glared up at the ceiling, feeling defeated when it won the staring contest. What would it take for her to get some damn sleep? With a muffled curse she tossed and turned over in her bed, smothering her face in her own pillow. As a vampire she couldn't die, but she could force herself to pass out if the opportunity presented itself. Before she could really even try she felt a cool, familiar, comforting hand on her back. It rubbed soothingly in small circles and she felt herself sighing at the sensation. It made her relax just the slightest bit and her eyes finally closed on their own accord.

"Oh no Elena." A female voice whispered softly. "You can't sleep now."

Slowly Elena lifted her head, looking back over her shoulder. "Jenna?"

Her dead, apparently undead Aunt smiled and nodded. "Some spirits told me that you might not be doing so well. Ric thought it was better if I came to see you personally instead of just…intervening."

"Intervening?" Elena sat up, her head spinning as she tried to grasp it all. She could feel her Aunt's presence as if she was really in the room. Could feel the white silk of her dress brush against her bare leg. "You're with Ric?"

Jenna laughed. "Of course I am. He barely lets me out of his sight up there."

Elena's eyes glanced toward the roof, earning another laugh. It sounded like sweet bells and Elena nearly began crying. Oh, how she'd missed that laugh. "Jenna!" she threw herself into her Aunt's arms, wrapping around her tightly. "I know it's impossible to be hugging a ghost, and I don't really care how it's happening. I just hope it doesn't stop."

Jenna rubbed her back again, leaning back slowly to look at her niece. "It will only last for a little while. Just long enough for me to show you something." She stood from the bed and held out her hand for Elena.

Without hesitating, Elena took it. "What do you have to show me?"

"Close your eyes." Aunt Jenna whispered, and she listened.

A faint wind fluttered their hair and when Elena opened her eyes she was standing in the middle of the snowy woods. Her sleep shorts and t-shirt gave no covering what so ever from the cold, but she didn't feel the harsh winter wind. She saw Matt's truck, saw her inside it with him and realized it was the last Christmas they'd spent together as a couple. It was a few months before her parents accident and she'd been happy still. Innocent still. There had been no vampires in her life, no mysterious creatures. Only her and Matt and school and life. Everything had been so simple then, so normal and part of her deeply missed it. "What is this?" Elena asked but Jenna only shook her head and put her finger to her lips.

"Just listen."

"I don't know Matt." The seventeen year old Elena whispered. "I don't see how I can convince my parents to let me stay over. Christmas morning is a big deal in our house."

Matt sighed, shaking his head. "I know, I get that…it's just…my mom left again. I don't think she's coming back this time Elena. I have a feeling she's really gone."

Elena slid closer to him, wrapping her arms around him. "What if you come stay with us for Christmas. Vicki too."

"Really?" Matt looked up at her, a smile on his lips. "You think that would be okay?"

"I love you Matt. We're going to be together forever. Our play pens wouldn't have been side by side if it wasn't meant to be."

Matt wrapped his fingers in her hair and tugged her close, kissing her slowly and softly.

"That was the first time you'd said those words to a boy and truly meant them." Jenna said, taking Elena's hand and pulling her away from the truck. "You loved Matt with all your heart, loved him as much as any seventeen year old girl could love a boyfriend, love someone she grew up with. You truly believed that the two of you were meant to be."

Elena nodded, feeling her throat tighten. "And then my parents died and everything changed." Elena slipped her hand from her Aunt's, feeling a little hopeless. "What is this? What are you trying to tell me?"

"Let's keep going. You will see."

Elena watched Jenna's eyes close, refusing to shut her own. She didn't know if she wanted to see anymore. Jenna peeked out of one eye, pleading with her and holding out both hands. Elena sighed, relenting. "Is it so bad that I just want to spend time with you?"

"We've had our time together Elena. I don't have long to show you all this. Pay attention and watch closely."

When Elena opened her eyes again she was standing in the living room of the Salvatore Boarding House. She saw herself again, sitting with Stefan on the couch wrapped up in his arms, both of them staring at the fire. "Okay, I get it." Elena whispered. "This is like Past, Present and Future loves right? You're trying to tell me I'm meant to be with Damon? Is that what this is all about?"

"Shh." Jenna shook her head and pointed, forcing Elena to focus.

"I don't even remember this." She whispered, but got no response from her Aunt.

"I love you." Stefan whispered, pressing a kiss to the back of her head.

Elena cuddled closer to him and let her neck relax so she was laying against his chest. "And I love you, more than I ever thought was possible."

"I know it's a lot to ask, but I want you to spend eternity with me."

Slowly, Stefan pulled a ring from his pocket, sliding it onto her finger. "Are you asking me to marry you?"

"It's been five years since we've heard from Damon…I thought it was safe to ask."

Elena watched her face flicker from pained sadness to the original smile she'd been wearing before. She realized now it had been a mask. "Of course I'll marry you Stefan."

Elena turned to Jenna, her eyes wide and curious. "This isn't my present. This is my future! What happened to Damon?"

Jenna said nothing, just took Elena's hand and closed her eyes. This time Elena kept hers open, watching as the scene of her and Stefan on the couch faded into darkness like a film burning. The opposite effect brought a new scene to life before her eyes as she watched her and Damon in the same living room, dancing before the same fireplace. There was a large Christmas tree in the corner and music playing softly in the back ground.

"I love you Damon. I'll never leave you, I promise." Elena heard her own voice, barely believing the words even as she watched herself speak them.

"You're all I want Elena. All I need. I've never loved anyone as much as I've loved you. I could never love anyone as much as I love you." He opened a box, showing her the present he'd picked especially for her.

Elena watched them pull each other close, watch them kiss. Then, as if the same film was on fast forward the scene sped up, threw her forward a few days to what seemed to be the middle of an epic fight. Damon was standing next to the tree, his eyes on fire. "What are you saying? That they aren't good enough? Or that I'm not good enough?"

"This isn't about the damn earrings Damon! It's about us! It's about what we mean to each other. What I mean to you!"

"So you're not pissed that I Stefan left, you're just pissed that I'm the one that made him leave?"

"I'm pissed that you lied to him to make him leave!" Elena stomped towards Damon, diamond studs flashing on her ear lobes. "He saw the box didn't he? He thought it was a ring and that you were going to ask me to marry you!"

"Yes."

"And you lied to him and told him that you were! You knew it would make him leave town."

"Enough!" Damon turned from her, stomping out of the living room.

"Where are you going?" Elena called after him.

"To get Stefan back." Damon slammed the door behind him, leaving Elena alone.

Angrily, Elena brushed tears back from her eyes. The pain she saw herself feeling wasn't just like watching a movie. She felt it as if she was living it. The joy, the excitement she'd felt when Stefan had proposed had been forced, but the pain of watching Damon walk out was almost impossible to stand. "What was the point of showing me that!" Elena demanded, turning to look for Jenna.

They were no longer in the Boarding House, they were back in the woods. There was snow on the ground but this was an entirely different Christmas then the three she'd seen before. "The first scene I showed you was a memory. The second and third were one possible Christmas future you could have based on the present you are living in."

"I don't understand." Elena felt the tears on her cheeks, willing them away.

"You are so desperate to hold onto your humanity Elena that you can't see what is right in front of you. I won't tell you what to do, or who to choose, because I'm sure you can feel it yourself. I have one more thing to show you before I have to go."

"I don't want to see anymore!" Elena turned, but she found that she couldn't take another step away.

"You must finish this journey with me Elena. The choice is yours to make at the end, but you must see all of the outcomes first."

Elena followed Jenna out of the trees into a clearing; one she recognized as the cemetery. She saw her parents headstones, along with Jenna's and a new one. She saw herself standing there with Damon, her hand tightly clasped in his and her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry he can't be here to share this with us." Damon whispered, wrapping his arm around her.

"At least he got to live."

"You kept him safe for as long as you could. He lived well longer than I thought he ever should have."

"Brothers have a way of surprising us." Elena looked up at him, even in the despair of the moment smiling a little in his presence. "Have you heard from Stefan?"

"They called yesterday. Wanted to wish us Merry Christmas and all that."

"He's okay?"

"He's fine. I only spoke to Katherine. She said he was…busy." Damon nodded, moving so he was facing her. "One of the hardest things about being a vampire is watching everyone you love die. Watching time pass and fade away. Are you sure you don't regret making the choice to stay with me?"

Elena shook her head and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Stefan brought me the cure, he offered me everything I thought I'd wanted, but I looked into your eyes and I just knew. I knew that I wanted to be with you forever. I never knew I could want to be with someone forever until I realized how much I loved you. Stefan couldn't love me like this, but this is who I was meant to be. A vampire, and even though it took me a while to figure it out, I know that now."

"You're the only one that's ever accepted me for who I am Elena. I couldn't turn my back on you."

"And I know you never would. I don't regret any decisions I made Damon. They led me all to you."

"I would have taken the cure you know, for you."

"There still is the option." Elena said, looking at Jeremy's grave. The winter sun glinted off the sparkling snow, off the diamond studs in her ears. "Your brother found it, and mine keeps it safe. If we ever decide to grow old and grey together, we know where to find it."

Elena stepped back, ending the scene before she could see anymore. "I'm done." She shook her head, knowing that Jenna would follow her. "Take me home."

When Elena turned to face her Aunt, they were back in her bedroom. She sat down on the bed, her mind whirling with all that she'd learned. "Elena, you know in your heart the right decision to make."

"Basically, what you just showed me is that if I choose Stefan I won't be happy. That I will break Damon's heart, and eventually Stefan's because I can't love him fully. That if I choose Damon I'll be happy but I won't ever want to be human again."

"Do you want to be human? Do you want to grow old and die?"

"At least then I could see you again. See my parents again."

"Oh hunnie." Jenna sat on the bed next to Elena and put her arms around her. "All we want is for you to do what is best for you. If you choose Stefan, it would be enough. You would be happy. Damon, what the future holds for you and Damon is impossible to fathom, even for the spirits. All they tell me is what I've shown you. He will make you more than happy. He will make you glad to be alive, he will make you want to live forever."

"And if I choose Stefan?"

"Life will go on its possible you will take the cure. You both will become human and live together until you are old and grey. Damon will bury you both and live out the rest of eternity."

"Alone."

"But Stefan will be with Katherine?"

"They are meant to be Elena. According to the spirits anyway, just as you and Damon are."

"So I'm supposed to choose Damon."

"You're supposed to choose the life you want. You're supposed to choose the future you want. Do you want to be human? Or do you want to be a vampire? Do you want to be happy? Or do you want the adventure of eternity? No one else can tell you what to do."

Elena glanced at the clock. "How much longer do we have?" She didn't want to talk about the Salvatore brothers anymore, she needed some time to just be with her Aunt. Often the difficult answers came to her when she wasn't thinking about the hard questions.

Jenna smiled. "A few minutes. The spirits thought you would have more questions."

"Tell me about you and Ric. And my parents. I want to know everything."

Elena didn't hear her bedroom door creak open, didn't feel the sunshine on her face, didn't know it was morning until the full weight of Jeremy winded her undead body out of sleep. She sat up, ready to throw him to the ground until she saw his smile. "What are you doing in here?" she asked, her voice thick with sleep.

"It's Christmas morning." He grabbed her face, kissed her cheek and got up from the bed. "Come downstairs with me."

"Are you high?" she asked, looking up at him, her eyes squinting in the morning light.

"No, but can you smell that?" he asked and she took a sniff of the air.

Her heightened senses would have picked it up even if her bedroom door had been shut. "Pancakes?"

Jeremy nodded and grabbed her hand, pulling her from the bed. "Come on, we're waiting for you."

"Who is we?" she asked, letting him drag her into the hallway.

"Damon's downstairs. He's making breakfast."

"Damon." Elena breathed his name, freezing in place. The memory of last night flashed through her mind and she suddenly felt warmth crawling up from her toes, all through her body and into her heart. "Damon's here?"

"He came last night. I caught him sneaking in."

"You were awake?" she asked, smiling slightly.

"Of course I was. At the very least I was hoping to see some ghosts." He shook his head at her, ready to go downstairs alone.

"Did you?" she reached for him, holding him in place on the landing.

"No." he sighed, shaking his head.

"I did." She whispered, and he looked at her through narrowed eyes.

"Who did you see?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but just then Damon came around the corner. He had a green and red plaid hand towel tossed over one shoulder, a mixing spoon in one hand and a smear of pancake batter down the front of his black sweater. "Breakfast is getting cold." He said and Jeremy bounded down the rest of the stairs, as much of a child as he'd been on past Christmas mornings.

Elena loved the sight of it, felt her heart warm and slowly went down the stairs. When she was level with Damon she paused, holding breath she didn't need to begin with. "Merry Christmas." She whispered.

"Merry Christmas." He held out his hand and she slipped hers into his. "And good morning." She watched as he pressed his lips to the back of her hand, looking up at her with sparkling, crystal blue eyes. "Ready to see what Santa brought you?"

She grinned, throwing her arms around him and bringing him in for a kiss. "As long as you promise to be here for the next hundred Christmases, I won't care about presents."

Her admission shocked him and he held her tightly against him. "I guess I can return these then." He teased, pulling a small box from his back pocket. It was wrapped in red paper and had a miniature bow on the top. She turned it over, reading the label. To my Lena, love your Damon.

She quickly ripped open the paper and popped the lid of the box, already knowing deep down what was inside. The diamond studs sat nestled on black velvet and she smiled up at him. "They're perfect. I love them."

"I love you." He said, his voice shaking slightly as his grip tightened on her waist.

"I'll love you forever." She said, knowing that no truer words had ever been spoken.

a/n: I think one of the most incredible things about this prompt is all the different options Elena had. Whatever she choice she made had consequences. Of course we're all rooting for Delena, but the truth is that she could have been happy with Stefan. In some universe, he could be her soul mate. It's not this universe though, and in my plan she is meant to be with Damon. He will give her the passion and the ultimate adventure of all consuming love and a life she would be sad she hadn't lived.