You haven't got a clue

Lily sat in the corner of the loveseat in the Head boy and girl's common room. She stared into the fire and tears came to her eyes. Why did he have to kill them? They didn't see her graduate; they didn't see her make something of herself.

Anger flooded her head; it was all her fault they died. All because she was...a freak! Petunia was right all those years ago. Now she had killed her own parents! I hate myself she thought, I may as well die now because I'm not doing anyone any good her.

Lily pulled her knees up to her chest and started to cry. Professor McGonagall had called Lily to her office that morning and told her. The Death Eaters had broken into her parent's home that night (unfortunately Petunia was with her whale of a boyfriend) and murdered them both. Her father was is his armchair and her mother in the kitchen. It was too much for Lily and she took the day off but it just made her feel even worse. She'd thought things through over and over and it always worked out she'd killed them.

Lily had been crying for about half an hour when the portrait hole opened, Lily didn't notice as James Potter clambered in. He ruffled his hair as he saw Lily on the couch; he'd noticed she hadn't been in her classes all day. It was hard to notice since he'd chosen the seats behind her at the start of the year. He sat down next to her,

"Hey Lily, where've you been all day?"

"Here."

"What's up, have I upset you?" said James, concerned. Lily flipped...

"It's always fucking about you isn't it Potter. You and your fucking perfect life. Always got what he wanted, perfect parents, and perfect family. Everyone adores James Potter, never had to fucking loose someone. You haven't got a clue have you?"

"Lily I think you should just shut up because you have no idea about me, none at all. Hell my life isn't perfect and I've always worked for what I want. My family most certainly isn't perfect and for your information I do fucking know what it is to lose someone you love so just shut the hell up!"

"What? Oh, James..."

"I know you want to know Lily" James took a seat on the comfy red couch. He sighed deeply, "It was just before the summer after Fifth Year during our OWLs, I got a letter the morning of the Transfiguration exam. It was from my dad he told me that my mum had died during the night. She had been ill for a while and was suffering. So yes Lily I do know what it's like to lose somebody."

"I'm sorry James it hurts you know, I just keep thinking over and over I killed them. It was my parents James, the Death Eaters got them." Lily burst into tears and James shuffled over towards her. He held her head to his chest and let her cry, tears stained his black t-shirt but James didn't care he just wanted Lily to feel happy and safe again.

"Shh, it'll all be ok."

"No James. It won't. It'll never be better."

"Lily I've been through it. I still miss mum with all my heart, I love her still but life goes on and my mum loved me so she'd have wanted me to be happy and so I am because my mum is still alive in the hearts of the people who love her. Somewhere up there she's watching over me just like your parents are watching you and they'll want you to be happy because you can't be sad forever. Be Lily, I know it's hard at first but gradually you'll recover, you've got good friends, your sister and a good heart. So make them proud."

"James, my sister says I can't come home, she was right all those years ago I am a freak but now I'm a freak with no home. Where am I going to go James?"

"Lily, you can move in with me. Me and dad have got a huge house. Sirius came to live with us last summer because his family disowned him but we've still got spare rooms and then when we start training to be aurors we're saving up and getting an apartment and then you can come and live there with us."

"James, Sirius isn't going to want me living with you two. It's you and him, brothers; you're as good as family to each other and were nothing. We're just Head Girl and Head Boy, nothing more." Lily laughed though her tears.

"To hell with what Sirius says because it's my house. Well its dad's but you know...and I don't think Sirius would give a damn about you moving in with us anyway. I highly doubt he knows I live there to be honest."

Lily giggled, this was the Sirius Black she knew, "James, I know Sirius means the world to you and it does matter what he says but still we'll finish at the end of this year and within a matter of months you'll have forgotten about me."

"Maybe I lied a bit about the Sirius thing but I know Sirius likes you he just has an immature sense of humour, I talked about you enough in the dorm I know the guys views on you by now; and Lily you meant the world to me and you still do and you always will. I'll never forget about you. Oh, and does this change anything?"

James leant forward and softly placed his lips on Lily's full, pink lips. She wrapped her hands around the back of his head and tangled her fingers in his already messy black hair. She kissed him with desperation tears still streaming down her face.

"Lily I love you, always have and I always will I just want you to know that." James said when they broke away from the kiss and then he stood up and started to walk away.

"James, where the hell do you think you're going?" Lily shouted with laughter in her eyes, "You're going to have to get used to me being around."

"Lily what are you talking about?"

"I'm moving in with you and Sirius." Lily giggled, "I thought about your offer and I accept."

"Lily Evans, you really are something, I'm going to ask this one last time...I'm never going to ask again. Lily Evans, will you go out with me?"

"Is this an answer?" Lily kissed James again. Hearts pounded, blood flowed. James grazed his tongue along Lily's bottom lip begging desperately for entrance. She granted it and their tongues seemed to dance. When they broke apart James gasped...

"I'll take that as a yes then." Lily nodded and she and James cuddled up in the corner of the couch together.