Danny looked up into the bathroom mirror. What he saw made him feel sick all over again. There were bags under his blue eyes, tight lines of worry sketched across his brow which was wet with sweat and sink water. He'd splashed his face clean, but there were still some particles of vomit around his mouth. Danny frowned, spat in the sink and grabbed another piece of blue roll from the roll to wipe his mouth.
Luckily, he'd avoided getting sick on his scrubs.
What the hell had he been thinking. All those years ago, before he'd packed up his life to go to med school. Be a doctor, make lots of money, get Grace whatever she wanted for Christmas and...
This wasn't helping.
His first day... why wasn't it like the movies? He'd had patients shout at him, nurses shout at him to write up fluids, and worst of all... he'd felt like a complete fraud. All these sick patients, desperate for a real doctor... and instead they'd got Danny.
Danny didn't realise that he'd slumped down on the low benches of the changing rooms with his head in his hands. He glanced at the locked with his name on it. He could practically see his ordinary clothes in there, luring him back to his old life of a cop, or anything except this. He could just go home, go back to his crummy apartment in Waimanalo and pretend that this was all a bad dream. He could even get some malasadas for him and Grace, lie and tell her that his first day had been great, forget about all the exams he'd been through, sleepless nights studying, prepping, reading papers... Forget why he did it all, to go to bed every night and know that he'd made a small difference...
Which is what it came down to really.
MEDIC FIVE TO RESUS, MEDIC FIVE TO RESUS*
Danny's ear twitched. A very sick patient, being brought in by ambulance, probably unconscious, in cardiac arrest, respiratory arrest, renal failure... with a family somewhere, worried about them.
Danny bit the bile down and made for the door.
Danny looked down at the unconscious man on the stretcher, a six foot mass of tanned skin, muscle and tattoos. His clothes had been hastily cut open. The ED nurses were already swarming over him, attaching oxygen and ECG pads to the bare skin of his chest. Danny took a minute to breathe, wiped his sweaty palms on his scrub pants, and - -
A - airway patent and unobstructedB - chest moving equally... slow rate... breath sounds equal, high flow oxygen via non-rebreathe maskC - pulse regular... but faint, blood pressure 140/100, ECG showing sinus bradycardia...
The senior nurse gave Danny a curt nod, then said,
"35 year old male, brought in by ambulance following a traumatic head injury, previously fit and well, no medication or allergies, works with the Five-O task force."
"He - he needs a cannula," Danny stammered. The senior nurse looked up at him.
"Well, would you do us the honours, Doctor?" He drawled, eyes full of barely concealed disdain.
"I'm s-sorry, I didn't mean... I'll go get it." Danny blushed. He stumbled over to the crash trolley, grabbed a handful of cannulas and rushed back to the bedside.
The man's arms were roving around a little, searching for something, someone to grab onto.
"C-could... could someone help me?" Danny almost whispered. One of the junior nurses looked up, a tiny Filipino woman, and she came to Danny's side and said,
"Hello Doctor, my name is Sabi. How can I help you?"
"Em, could you hold his arm still a little?" Danny replied, a little surprised that someone was being nice to him.
With Sabi's help, Danny got the tourniquet on and lined up the cannula alongside a vein. His hands were shaking, his mouth went completely dry and there was no way that this needle was going to get inside of this vein unless - -
The patient's hand broke free of Sabi's gentle grasp and latched onto Danny's, his fingernails digging in so hard that Danny almost yelped in pain.
"...help..." the patient moaned, his deep brown eyes snapping open for a moment and seeking out Danny's. Danny thought of Grace, when she'd fallen last weekend and skinned her knee, and he thought of how their eyes looked almost exactly the same in that moment. His heart swelled and his mouth opened on its own accord as he slid the cannula confidently into the vein, and he said,
"You're okay, you're safe. I'm Danny, the doctor, and we're not going to let go of you." Danny put his hand over his, rubbing soothing circles on the back of his hand. A patient wristband there said,"Steven McGarrett".
"We've got you... Steve."
Steve muttered something that sounded like "Danny" but it was lost in the noise of the ECG and he closed his eyes.
Ward rounds... they should call them bored rounds. Hehe.
"Dr Williams, would you like to introduce the next patient?"
The group of five senior doctors swivelled their heads towards Danny.
Oh no.
"Errr, I mean, yes - of course!" Danny led the way to the next ward bay, his thoughts racing over the useful information he could remember.
"Room 5: Mr Steven McGarrett, 35 year old male who suffered a traumatic head injury a week ago and been in a deep coma since. Works for the governor of Hawaii on some special task force. GCS on admission 7/15 so we ventilated him. CT head showed... acute left extradural haematoma and midline shift. We've evacuated the bleed, optimised his ventilator settings, kept him well sedated with phenytoin and are doing neuro observations every 3 hours."
Dr Gestav, the lead consultant and a notorious quizmaster, adjusted his spectacles delicately. "Can you tell me Dr Williams why the ventilator settings are as they are?"
Danny was ready for that one. Grace had helped him look it up on Wikipedia in case Dr Gestav asked him about it.
"It's important to keep the carbon dioxide at that level to sustain vasodilation and cerebral perfusion as the intracranial pressure has risen via the Munro-Kelly doctrine."
Phew. Nice one, Danno.
Dr Gestav smiled like a wolf in a chicken coop. Danny did not like that smile.
"Very good... but what does the latest research say about therapeutic hypothermia? You have read my latest paper in the Lancet, haven't you, Dr Williams?" He drawled.
Danny hated this bullshit - this was not why he became a doctor. But instead he replied,
"Sorry Dr Gestav, I haven't read it yet but I will make sure I do this afternoon."
Dr Gestav smiled that smile again. Danny winced.
"I'll test you on that tomorrow. And how about the patient's GCS today?"
That one took Danny by surprise. "The - the GCS, sir?"
"Yes Dr Williams, or haven't you been monitoring that? What medical school did you go to again?"
The whole brigade of hyenas with stethoscopes howled at that one. The senior doctors peeled away, leaving Danny looking at his shoes.
Some days, I could just...
Danny started as he heard a soft thump. He whipped his eyes to the patient - Steve - and saw that Steve's bandaged head had flopped down into a different position on his pillow.
"Hey buddy," Danny said softly into Steve's ear. "Boy, am I glad to have you to talk to or I'd go completely nuts in here! You know what I love about you most? You're such a good listener!"
Danny chuckled as Steve remained completely silent. Danny had gotten into the habit of chatting to Steve whenever he was on shift. He never got a reply, but the air in the room changed, became more friendly. His ma had always said that your hearing was the last thing to go.
"The strong, silent type, huh? Okay, I get that. I actually find that kind of attractive, in a man crush kind of way. Like those old cowboy movies. But let me know when you wanna talk. I bet you have some really good stories to tell. Like that Governor, is he as much of a dick as my boss there?"
A gentle sea breeze trickled in through the open window and... Steve made a soft sound in his throat, opening his eyes.
Danny's eyes widened in surprise and he could have swore his mouth dropped to the floor.
"...eeep..." said Danny, tactfully.
A fist shot out from nowhere, like a bullet, and made contact with Danny's jaw with a crack, whipping his head around.
"...fleeeeep..." said Danny tactfully, as he fell unconscious.
It hurt to talk. It hurt to chew. A visit to the ER and a tonne of paperwork. Followed by a week off, yes, which Danny had to admit had been nice. But it would've been nicer if he could've enjoyed something with Grace other than shave ice through a straw.
Danny made his way to the ward, ducking his head as he past his room. This was his first day back, he was on-call and he just wanted to make it through the day without —
"SURPRISE!!!"
Danny stopped in his tracks in the door to the MDT office as he took it in.
All of the nursing staff, physios, occupational therapists and healthcare assistants, piled into that one tiny room with the handover board. All of them were wearing boxing gloves. Some had painted on black eyes with makeup. And in the centre of the room was a massive cake iced with the sardonic slogan:
"Congrats on winning the big fight, champ!"
It took Danny about ten seconds to find the humour in the situation, but when he did, he laughed for the first time in the longest time. He laughed until tears fell from his eyes and he went beetroot red in the face. Say what you want about healthcare staff, but they have a wicked sense of humour.
Clara, the booming senior nurse stepped forward with her characteristically stoic face and said,
"I just want you to know, Danny, that we take violence in the workplace very seriously here. There's no need to inform HR about any sort of bullying." She then joined in with the laughter.
Danny's heart fell just for a moment when she said bullying and he immediately thought of all the people who made him feel small, incompetent, useless... then he fought it back with a smile.
"Oh, and Doctor Danny?" asked a tiny voice from within the fray of scrubbed bodies. A bird like Maui guy called Sal came forward. "The patient in Room 5 said he'd like to see you when you have a minute."
The room went quiet and Danny knew his rep hung in the moment of his reply.
"Well... I'd better borrow someone's boxing gloves then!"
Danny left the room amidst fresh laughter and thanked God that he hadn't gone into Police Academy after all. Refreshed and much more relaxed, he made his way to meet his perpetrator.
The door to 5 was open and Danny stepped into the room, washing his hands with the gel on the wall.
This room got good light, Danny mused. It felt bright and cheery, full of fresh air and the gentle scent of the dozen red roses from beside the patient's bed, where Steve sat propped up, eating a banana.
Steve stopped munching when he saw Danny, wiped his mouth and said, "mmarrfff" through the banana mush, and beckoned him closer. Danny's Doctor rhetoric began automatically.
"Good morning, Steve, I'm so glad to see you up and about today, we've all been very worried about you. How are you feeli—"
"M'sorry."
Danny stopped mid-spiel and realised that Steve was looking down at his hands with dewy eyes, his face a jungle of lines and worry. In that moment Danny forgave and forgot everything.
"What on earth are you sorry for?" Danny asked. "If you mean the punch, forget about it, I've had much worse from drunks in AE, plus I got a week off to chill."
Steve's eyes softened and came up to meet Danny's. Deep pools of distracting brown with just a hint of sorrowful grey. Steve gave a great big sigh that nearly deflated himand replied,
"I'm supposed to protect and serve. Instead I nearly busted the jaw of one of the people trying to keep me alive."
Ah, military. Figures.
Danny folded his arms across his chest, making his stethoscope sway.
"Yes, but I'm supposed to help people no matter what, even if they're swearing at me, biting me... and Steve in your defence you'd just woken up from a week's coma, you probably thought you were still in whatever kind of trouble you were in when you got hit... Speaking of which, I gotta ask Steve, I know you've got these lovely flowers and all, but if there's someone at home who's beating you up, was somehow involved in this... You can tell me, okay? I'm not just a walking prescription pad, I've been about, seen my share of things, and I honestly do just want to help."
Danny looked up to see Steve on his feet getting dressed, to his horror. Caught between surprise and embarrassment to see his patient half naked in front of him, Danny managed to stammer, "Uhm, Steven. What are... what're you doing?"
"I gotta go help at work," Steve replied, like it was the most natural thing a human has ever done after waking up from a coma. He struggled to pull his t shirt over his head with the IV lines running and managed to put his head through an arm hole.
"Damnit!" he swore angrily. "Danny, I could use a hand here? Can you disconnect these lines for me?"
Danny had never been faced with this kind of situation before, and his brain hummed and pulsed for an answer.
"Steve, as your doctor, I have to tell you that this... this is a really stupid idea."
"Are you gonna take these out or not?" Steve asked, gesticulating at his cannulae.
"Oh, but that one took me ages to get in... Okay that is so not the point I need to be making..."
Steve pulled out the cannulae himself, barely flinching as they tugged at his flesh.
"Thank you for looking after me, Dr Danny, but trust me when I say I have got to be back at the palace in the interest of our country's safety." And with that comment, he brushed past Danny, making for the door.
"Please!"
It came out as what some would call a desperate plea, but Danny did not give a flying hoot in that second.
"Please, Steve... Please don't go..." It was Danny's turn to use his puppy dog eyes, and they stopped the great Steve McGarrett in his caterpillar tracks.
"Steve, I'm just so worried that if you leave now, and you rebleed into your brain... you might not make it next time. You've been... the luckiest man in the world to be even standing now. I know that legally I can't stop you and Steve for Christ's sake look at you, I couldn't stop you if you tried... but... please stay... for me?"
Steve's eyes reflected upon this as he stood still in the doorway, the very picture of a soldier going off to war, bag of belongings tossed over one shoulder.
"Hmmmm. You make a good point. But, no, my team need me. You can keep the flowers though, Dr Danny—"
"Call me Danno, all my friends do... And please, at least sign a self-discharge form. It tells you when you need to come back, early warning signs and so on... Please read it." Danny exhaled, feeling exhausted already.
"Okay, Dr Danno, I'm sure I'll be seeing you soon!" Steve replied, giving Danny a mock jab to the jaw. For the briefest moment, their skin made contact. And it felt to Danny that someone switched off gravity, for the hair's breadth of a second.
Oh, hell.
Friday night. At last.
Danny's face twisted into a sour grimace as he downed the fourth tequila shot in a row with some of the nurses from his ward. Okay, he definitely wasn't 21 any more, because goddamnit the room was already gently spinning. He knew that tomorrow morning, for the first morning in weeks, he could be hungover. No work. Grace was having a sleepover with one of her friends... Iolani? Eyeolanee. Danny's only responsibility tomorrow was being a groggy mess of golden hair and maybe making maple and bourbon pancakes if he could manage to stand upright and operate a stove.
Though she be little, she is fierce, Danny thought to himself, while he watched Ruby navigate the small dance floor in a pair of heels so high it made Danny wince. It's always a funny feeling to see work colleagues out of uniform, especially Junior Sister Ruby, who normally was timid around all but the most junior doctors. Danny supposed that even though young people working in healthcare were usually more mature than their non-medical peers, at the end of the day it was the beginning of the night, which meant alcohol and drugs and everything in between. Ruby sashayed her way over to Danny, mouthing and gesturing do you want to go for a smoke? Danny nodded. He could use some fresh air... wrong choice of words.
Ruby gave Danny a beaming smile and grabbed him by both hands, pulling him through the sickly nightclub air towards the smoking terrace. Danny narrowly avoided several head on collisions and spilt a few drinks on his way, but somehow managed to make it in one piece to the door. Cold air leapt to meet Danny's face as he stepped into the night's embrace.
Inhale, exhale.
"Danny, can I ask you a favour?" Ruby asked, pulling a coy face at him.
"Uh, yeah Ruby, what's up?" Danny asked, a little off guard at her friendliness and charm.
"Can you roll for me? I know it's really silly but I've never learned cos guys usually do it for me," Ruby said, giggling and blushing.
Danny looked down at the tobacco, and in his mind he saw the faces of several lung cancer patients he'd looked after, looking back at him, looking after him now. Then he thought back further, back to when his dad taught him how to roll a cigarette, back to when he used to do it for the other kids in school for a quarter, back to when he used to roll the tightest blunts in his neighbourhood as a young man. He hesitated, wanting with all his heart to throw the filthy muck into the wind. But Danny was the new kid on the block, on the ward, and he really wanted people to like him, for once. And just like that, he was suddenly and inexplicably thirteen years old again.
"Sure, I got you. I'll show you how to and then you'll never be stuck waiting on a man again." Ruby broke into a beaming smile and Danny bit back the bile in his throat as he started to roll the thin paper. And then he felt a warm hand in the small of his back.
"Well, Dr Danno, I must say that you're nothing if not full of surprises."
Danny whipped around at the voice, his heart in his throat, and found his gaze locked into the handsomest pair of eyes he'd ever seen.
Can eyes be handsome?
"I mean, it's not exactly sending a positive message to your patients to be standing out here smoking, is it?"
Danny took a minute to find his lower jaw on the ground. Steve gave out a huge chuckle, booming and hearty, his dark eyes sparkling and crinkling with delight.
"I - I - Steve? What the hell are you doing here?" Danny stammered.
Steve grinned again. "Same thing as you, Dr Danno, oh, but minus the smoking part."
Danny blushed crimson and Steve laughed harder. "I wasn't - I don't -"
Shit fuck Danny you went to med school, use your big boy words.
"Steve, you really shouldn't be drinking a week after a head injury. Alcohol is an anticoagulant in acute amounts and it could cause haemorrhagic transformation of the swollen tissue."
Yes that's it, but please god be less of a goof.
Steve just smiled again. "Don't worry, Dr Danno, I'm being good I swear." It might've been the tequila, but Danny swore he saw a playful mischief in those eyes. "I'm actually here for work, following up on a lead."
Ruby, still waiting for her cigarette, cleared her throat and winked at Steve.
"Hi, I'm Ruby, it's nice to meet you, handsome," she drawled. Danny blushed on her behalf. Steve's attention swivelled to Danny's co-conspirator.
"Hey Ruby, I'm Steve. I love your dress. I hope you don't mind if I steal Dr Danno from you for a minute, do you? I promise I'll give him back. Also smoking is ridiculously bad for you, just so you know."
Ruby's face swirled into confusion. "Oh, Steve, I don't mind at all... But you should know, he just likes Danno. He never lets anyone call him Doctor." And with a giggle Ruby was gone into the heave and swell of intoxicated bodies once more.
Danny turned to Steve and made a face.
"What?" Steve asked, genuinely perplexed. "What did I say, Danno?"
"What did you - I'm not even going to answer that or dignify it with a response. No wait, actually I will. You know why? Because, Steve, I've been worried about you for the last week, waiting on you turning up in AE in another coma... or worse... I even came in to work on my day off on Wednesday, and do you know why?"
Steve, looking equal parts contrite and playful, leaned in closer. "Why, Danno?"
"Because - fuck - because - don't - Steve I bloody looked after you when you were in a coma and we worked so hard to save your life, and then, then you - fuckity fuck - just walk out of there like it's no big deal. And apart from being in a shitload of trouble with my dickhead boss, Steve I just wanna - don't you - look after you because you clearly don't give a rat's ass about your own health."
Danny stopped for breath, and he realised that his cheeks were wet and the smoking terrace had went very quiet.
Strong arms encircled Danny's waist and pulled him close onto a soft shoulder. A warm musk clung to Steve's clothes from a day of work and a hint of some aftershave Danny couldn't place. He knew that everyone would be watching, but he didn't give a crap in that moment. He just hugged Steve back and sobbed into his shirt.
Steve's hand made gentle circles on Danny's back and in his ear he heard Steve murmur softly, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
Eventually, as they always do, Danny's tears ran dry. The embarrassment started to kick in, and he extricated himself from Steve's embrace, making a beeline for the door.
"Danny - wait. Please."
Danny stopped in his tracks and let Steve pull him into a quiet corner. "Steve... I'm sorry. That was really inappropriate. I've just had so much on at the minute. I shouldn't have said, well, any of that. My boss is definitely not a dickhead and in fact is a really good doctor."
Steve gave Danny a small smile that was like a Christmas present in January. Late but still a gift. "Do you really think that, Danno?"
Danny gave a raspy laugh back. "Oh my god, Steve, he's such an asshole!" They collapsed into a fit of giggles at that.
Wiping fresh tears from his eyes, Danny said, "Oh, shit, Steve, have you had your stitches looked at yet?"
"Errr, Danno, I think we both know the answer to that one..." Steve replied, looking at his shoes.
Danny tutted, but let it go, this once. "Well, c'mon, let me have a look."
"Okay, but don't poke it, okay? It kinda hurts."
Danny feigned horror. "It feels pain! Ladies and gentleman the terminator feels pain!"
Steve turned his head to the side and Danny let himself get temporarily distracted by the view before more closely inspecting the sutures in Steve's left scalp.
"Hmmmm," Danny mused, stroking an imaginary beard. "Well, they're clean, which is better than I expected of an animal like you." Steve theatrically mocked affront at that. "But the base of the wound is a little over-granulating."
"What does that mean, Danno?" Steve asked, with a hint of worry brewing in his voice.
"Oh, sorry, it means... like... you're navy, right? Imagine your immune system is made up of SEALS or dolphins or whatever you call them..."
"SEALS, definitely SEALS."
"Okay, not the point. Basically you've got too many troops working to heal the wound, and it gets all red and angry looking, and it can scar a little worse than normal. But otherwise it's okay, Steve, just get them removed as soon as you can with your doctor..." Danny clocked Steve ducking his head in embarrassment. "...which if you don't have, get a good friend with a steady hand or come to AE on Sunday and I'll do them for you. Okay?"
"Yes, Doctor," Steve replied, his left arm snapping to attention at his temple in mock salute.
"Oi oi, what have we learned today about calling me that? Call me Danno."
Steve smiled that award-winning smile again, and Danny's insides were melting.
Either that kebab yesterday was dodgy or I'm in serious trouble.
"Thank you, Danno... So what're you doing tomorrow?" Maybe it was the light, but Danny thought that he could see the tinge of a blush beginning to spread on Steve's cheeks.
"Honestly? Regretting every single millilitre of alcohol I willingly consumed tonight."
"Well, when you're done feeling sorry for yourself, would you wanna maybe go surfing?" Steve asked, uncharacteristically shy. "But if you're busy, it's fine, that's cool too."
Danny almost said yes and then his brain kickstarted in third gear. "The ocean? With your scalp nicely cut open like it is? Have you ever heard of necrotising fasciitis, Steve?"
Steve, having never once heard of necrotising fasciitis, made a face.
"Plus, I don't surf."
Steve's eyes nearly bugged out of his head at that. "WHAT! Why not? Don't or won't? Why didn't you tell me!"
"Well, I'm sorry Steven, out of all the things I told you when you were in a coma, I must've forgotten that one."
Oh, hell. Fuck you, tequila, fuck you.
Steve's brow furrowed. "What?"
No way out of this one.
"Errr, I may have chatted to you sometimes when you were, you know, unconscious. My ma said to us when we were kids and our gramps was dying that he could still hear us 'til the end, so we better say nice stuff. And I was having a shitty time and you were a willing ear so... yeah, sue me."
Steve shrugged. "Okay."
"What, you're not gonna roast me for that one?"
"Hmmm, nah. Too easy, and also it's hella cute, Danno."
Now it was Danny's turn to blush bright beetroot.
"Well, if you wanna hang out tomorrow, I'm officially off duty too. And we can practise surfing on the sand to avoid getting hypnotising fishitis, if you want."
Danny thought back to all his years of training, specifically about the rules of being friends with a patient and why it's a terrible idea. But Steve was looking at him in the moonlight like all he wanted in the world was to stand on a surfboard with Danny. And it was the easiest thing in the world to give Steve a big drunk hug and say -
"Yeah, babe, I'd love to."
Steve's doorbell pealed out crisply once more on the quiet Sunday morning. Danny shifted his weight to-and-fro and stepped back an extra half-step off Steve's porch. He took a sip of his cappuccino and sighed.
Maybe he forgot.
Danny fidgeted with a loose piece of gravel and looked off into the sound of the waves.
Maybe he didn't really mean it.
And then he saw him. Running about the beach, doing burpees and press ups shirtless. Just watching Steve made Danny contemplate turning on his heel and go for a malasada. But yet... Danny found himself transfixed. There was something hypnotic in the way Steve flowed from one move to the next, sweat glistening on his che — Steve's eyes met Danny's and held his gaze for a moment, panting. Then he broke into a smile that melted away Danny's insecurities like butter, and loped over.
"Aloha, Danno," Steve panted.
"Aloha, Steven," Danny replied stiffly. "So, uh, what's all this with the army boot camp? I thought we were surfing on land today?"
"Oh that? I had to get my workout in before you came. I'm busy later so I wouldn't have had time. And Danny it's the Navy, okay?"
"Steve, you know, if you're too busy, I can..."
"No!" Steve almost shouted. And then more gently, "I mean, no Danno, it's good to see you, buddy." And he opened his arms, exposing the quivering muscles and tanned skin on his bare chest.
"Wow, cowboy, you need a shower before you start wrestling me," Danny told a very disappointed Steve.
"What, nothing, nothing? No hug?" Steve's eyes glistened slightly in the dawn air.
Danny rolled his eyes, held up his hands in surrender and pointed Steve into his landing strip. A moment of anticipation, then all around was the smell of sea salt and sweat, a feeling of being completely surrounded and safe. Steve's head dipped a little to meet Danny's shoulder, which Danny found a little odd but kind of endearing. Danny clung on as long as was socially acceptable for a "buddy" and made himself let go.
Steve clapped Danny on his back and his hand slid down slightly to the small of Danny's back, guiding him to Steve's garden. Ignoring the waves of warmth crashing over his body at the intimate touch, Danny swatted the hand away. Steve just chuckled and led on, like the Neanderthal animal he was. Steve's eyes caught the cups in Danny's hands and flashed like a wolf seeing a wounded sheep.
"Oh great, you brought coffee! My machine's just had a little, um, vacation of living, and I was feeling kind of bad... But this is perfect! I'll be right back," Steve chattered happily, heading for the house. Then he stopped, turned back to Danny, and said, "Or, you can come with and see the house? Only if you want, Danno."
Danny shrugged and trudged after him in a vain attempt to appear casual at following Shirtless Steve into his home, his bedroom, his arms —
Okay, reel it in, Danny, keep your head.
Steve gave Danny a full guided tour complete with audio guide and expert commentary. Danny happily tailed after Steve, who unfortunately grabbed a fresh T shirt with a NAVY print during the fascinating tour of the lesser spotted Steve's bedroom. Danny just smiled, feeling more at home than he ever had in his entire life, in this relative stranger's house.
"This is the spare room, which is a bit, well, spare. But it'd be warm enough if you ever needed to stay over, Danno," Steve lectured.
Danny, thankfully behind Steve at this particular point of the tour, nearly sprayed coffee all over the walls.
"Uh, Steve, I don't know if I'd feel that comfortable —"
"Danno, first rule of my house is that mi casa es su casa. I want you to feel at home here."
Wow, he's a pretty sweet guy, actually.
"Umm, okay, thanks," Danny mumbled and bumbled, embarrassed at the open display of affection. "Steve, you realise that for all you know I could be a world class cat burglar and you've just shown me your entire home and invited me to have a sleepover?"
Steve's face turned very serious. "Well, are you?"
Danny laughed nervously. "No, Steven, I am not. But we don't really know each other —"
"Well then, that's all I need to know." Steve replied, contentment growing in those eyes. He led Danny back down the stairs into the small kitchen. A single plate was on the table, with a block of yellow butter softening in the morning heat.
"Hey, Steve, I'm already sold on the house, it's incredible, but please put that butter back in the fridge."
Steve just smiled, a very different sort of smile, that someone else may have described as mischievous, and moved right into Danny's personal space. Their skin was just inches apart and Danny could feel sparks leaping between their skin, like a thunderstorm waiting to crash.
"Danno, you might not like this next part."
Danny, in a bit of a reverie, burbled something unintelligible. Steve popped the tops of the coffee cups off, turned away to the table for a second, then there was the unmistakeable plop of the greatest friendship test the world has ever known.
Danny looked down and say a golden blob of butter liquefying in his coffee. His Monsoon Malabar. His favourite coffee in the world.
Monsoon Massacred.
"What the hell - is wrong with you?" Danny murmured.
Steve just laughed and gave both cups a stir.
"Go on, Danno, it's good, I promise."
"Good at what, giving me a heart attack?"
Steve rolled his eyes. "Maybe, but we'll get you fit, Danny, I promise."
Danny's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "Steve, for your information, I'm very happy with my body just the way it is."
Liar liar muffin top on fire.
"Shit, Danno, I didn't mean —"
"What am I? Some kind of fitness project to you? Is that why you wanted to teach me how to surf?" Danny found his voice rising.
"I'm sorry, Danny, I, you're not —"
"Because you know what? Steve, for a second I thought you genuinely just wanted to be my friend." Danny found his cheeks burning.
Steve laid a gentle hand on Danny's arm. "Danny, I would never, ever treat you like, like some kind of project. You're a person, an awesome one at that, and I just meant that... Danny, I love exercise. If we're gonna be friends, it's probably going to involve at least some running about. Maybe even some running after suspects. It's kind of hard to predict."
"Okay, I'm gonna move right on past that one. I'm sorry though, Steve, but butter in coffee is so not a thing."
"Suit yourself, Danno. So... ready to get on a board?"
"Well, I wouldn't say ready, but okay. Let's get this over with. And only if we're getting malasadas after."
"It's Pancake Tuesday, Danno. I was gonna make you some."
Danny took a breath to overcome the cuteness of Steve McGarrett. "Well, knowing what little I do of you, you'll probably put in whey protein powder thingy and make them gross. So we'd better have a backup. You always gotta have backup."
Steve thought of the thousands of times he'd done things without backup and chuckled. "Okay, Danno, sounds like a plan."
"And I want the whole story, the whole McGarrett story. I feel like there's a lot I don't know, and honestly, that scares me. I want the whole thing, start to finish."
A waterfall of emotions slashed across Steve's face, pain and loss mixed with hope and love. Then it was gone, replaced by another smile.
"I'll do my best, Danno. I'll do my best."
The sun teetered on the edge of the horizon as Danny sat silent with his feet buried in the sand. He tugged his blanket closer around his shoulders and tried to say something, anything, in response to what Steve McGarrett had just told him. Steve watched him impatiently, then broke the silence.
"It's not as bad as –"
"Ah, bababup, ah," Danny silenced him with a wave of his hands. He looked out onto the dazzling waves, breaking only a few metres from where he was sitting, and tried to make sense of the man sat restlessly beside him.
"So, let me get this straight," Danny began. "You're basically a Captain America SEAL who leads a team of ninjas, based in Hawaii, who works for the governor, but also breaks every rule in the book and bone in his body, to protect the people from international terrorists and radiation poisoning… Is that about right so far?"
Steve nudged a pile of sand, causing it to spill its powder into the wind.
"When you put it like that –"
"Ah, bababup, ah. Not finished. You've also been tortured on numerous occasions, most recently by a man who may have been your half-brother, who you then shot in the head…"
"He wasn't really my half –"
"AH, BABABUP, AH, for your information, Steven, means wait your turn in Jersey-ese. This scary guy caused you trouble for many years because your mother, presumed dead, was actually alive and never told you any of this. So… you used your dad's… magic toolbox?... to work out the puzzle?"
Steve stayed silent, looking at Danny with weary eyes.
"Well, Steve, true or not?"
"Am I allowed to talk now?" Steve asked, exasperated.
"Um, I asked you a question, so yeah?"
"True enough, then, Danno," Steve admitted.
Danny exhaled, long and until his lungs were completely empty. Then he inhaled gently, pinching the bridge of his nose with eyes closed, and said,
"Well, you radioactive Neanderthal lunatic… Your life makes being a junior doctor look easy. Plus, it would've made some great TV."
Steve had to laugh at that, releasing some of his nervous tension into the sunset.
"Yeah, Danno, I guess it would have. So, now that you're all up to speed, do you wanna show me how you ride it in the water?"
Danny blushed and snapped his head round to meet Steve's eyes.
"Try what in the water?"
He rushed his thoughts away from their current avenue. Just in case Steve was a mind reader. Which, given what Danny had just learned, was a very real possibility.
"The surfboard, Danno. What did you think I meant?" Steve's face was an abstract painting of confusion.
Stop drooling over the straight boy, Williams.
"I – the – well, we've been over this, you're not supposed to get your stitches wet," Danny replied, clinging onto his dignity by its shreds.
Good recovery. You doofus.
Steve held his hands up placidly.
"Hey, I never said I was going in the water, Danno. But you can, and I'll watch from here."
Danny's face must have betrayed his fear.
"You'll be great, Danno. You've got natural balance and the only way to learn is to get into the ocean and see what happens! And I'll be here the whole time, so you don't have to worry about a thing. I'll coach you from the shore."
Okay he's being sweet and yes, he complimented you but shut up stop it he's not into you so stop giving these thoughts any more time.
Danny twisted his body away from Steve, suddenly feeling vulnerable. His mind transported him through time and space, back to nine-year-old Danny, standing in a choir hall. Christmas in Jersey. His family sat in the front row, watching him. The hall, warm and sticky with the heat of a hundred people. Feeling sick, tired, falling through the air and hitting the ground. Hearing laughter as he fell unconscious. The shame his Ma had felt… and his Pa… Hadn't spoken to him for weeks afterwards. Can't you do anything right? You're an embarrassment to the Williams'.
Danny tore himself away from the memories and the hurt they carried.
"No, Steve, I don't want to," he said to through gritted teeth, hiding his face. A warm hand touched his shoulder and breathed new life into his bones, pushing back Danny's fear like a search light through shadow.
"Danno, I believe in you. Besides, it's just you and me here, there's no-one you could embarrass yourself in front of," Steve coaxed, his eyes full of what might have been love, in another life.
"You – I could – look like a dick – in front of you," Danny mumbled, hoping Steve wouldn't hear.
"Me?" Steve replied, shocked. "Danny, you do realise that I'm a terrible surfer, right?"
"What? Super SEAL is bad at some form of physical exertion?"
"Yup, the worst you'll ever meet. It's kinda my Achilles heel, so don't tell anybody and especiallydon't tell Kono Kalakaua."
"Who?"
"Oh, that's right, you haven't met her. I think you'll like her, Danno. She's one of my, what did you call them, ninjas. She's a crack sniper and the best surfer I know." Steve gave Danny a wry look. "And she's not too bad looking, either."
Danny's defences went up automatically. After so many years, the pretending had become second nature.
"Oh, great," Danny replied blandly. "Okay, fine, so I swim out on the board and turn around, then paddle with the wave and stand up when it starts to break… Right?"
"Yeah, Danno, you've got it. Now let's see that theory put into practice."
Danny sighed, cast his hands up in surrender."Fine, but if you dare laugh, Steven, we're through."
Steve held his hands across his heart, mocking being stabbed right through it. Danny rolled his eyes and grabbed Steve's blue board, heading for the water with fierce determination in his eyes.
Steve watched Danny go, a small sense of pride swelling in his heart. His eyes traced the outline of Danny, silhouetted a golden angel by the sunset, as he disappeared into the glittering blackness of the evening swell.
He's a keeper.
Steve let the dangerous thought come and sit for a moment in his head, then shook it away. He took a long drag on his beer and looked out to enjoy the view of Danny paddling towards the dying light.
You can do it, Danno.
"Now, Danny, now! Stand up, stand up!" Steve hollered from the gloomy beach, his eyes fixed on Danny like the proudest father in the world.
Don't make it weird, Danno, don't make it weird.
On tired, shaking legs, Danny got to his knees. Then one leg. Then two. Then –
For the briefest moment, Danny felt the rush of the wind and the push of the water propelling him along, like a bird skimming across the water on invisible wings. He was speed and lightness and balanced on the jaws of the most powerful force in the world. And then Danny breathed, and it was over.
Danny shifted his weight forwards and the surfboard tipped into the inky blackness of the ocean, taking Danny with it. The cold water rushed up to meet him and –
Steve saw Danny hit the water and struggle to surface again. He gave it two seconds, in case Danny would be annoyed that he got his wound wet, then he started like a sprinter from the block. He threw his T shirt off like it was on fire and vaulted into the low waves, diving in head first once it was deep enough. With long, powerful strokes, he sped towards Danny through the white foam, fingers and eyes roving and reaching out for him. He swam straight into a flailing mass of limbs and got a wayward elbow to his face in reward. Shaking it off, Steve swam down, pushing Danny up from below to the surface. They broke to the surface in a gasp of air, Steve supporting Danny's head above the water.
"Why didn't you tell me you weren't a strong swimmer?" Steve demanded the second
Danny's mind cast a cautious look back at twelve-year-old Danny, being beaten up on the wet floor of a boy's changing room in the local swimming pool. He watched his nose be broken against the ground, welts fall down his shivering back and his mouth open to cry for help that wasn't coming, as if he was observing it happen to a different person.
"I – don't wanna talk about it – I forgot," Danny panted, spitting saltwater from his mouth, as he came back to the present.
"What, Danno, I bare my soul for you and you can't even tell me that?" Steve wiped blood from a cut on his cheek.
"Let's just get back to shore, it's freezing in here. I told you I couldn't do it," Danny managed to say, hiding his face from Steve.
"What do you mean? Danny that was amazing! You stood up! I saw you! You did amazing!"
Danny gave Steve a cautious look, waiting for the punchline.
"R-really?"
"Yes, Danno! I'm so proud of you!" Steve replied. And, to Danny's surprise, Steve grabbed Danny, wrapped his arms and legs around him, and gave him a huge hug. They both sunk instantly below the waves with the combined weight. When they resurfaced, they were both laughing like lunatics.
"Steve – you – you are absolutely insane. You need help. I will pay for it," Danny sputtered, pretending to be annoyed, but secretly beaming with joy.
"C'mon, Danno, let's get you back to shore," Steve said, treading water and holding Danny's arm. "I'm gonna help you in you the whole way, I promise, partner."
"But – what about your - surfboard?" Danny replied.
Steve blushed, realising he'd forgotten all about the floating piece of wood that would easily suffice to get Danny back to shore.
"Yeah – yeah, that's what I meant, Danno." Steve twisted in the water, spied the blue board just out of reach. "It's just over there, Danny. You reckon you can swim to reach it if I help you?"
"Y – yeah, I think so."
"Then I'll push you in on that, okay?"
"I bet we look so ridiculous, Steve."
"I don't care, Danno."
I care about you, though.
Fifty-one minutes later, they were sat huddled close on Steve's lanai, watching the moonlight on the waves. Danny was wrapped up in at least five towels and feeling very content. The adrenaline had absolutely drained his body. Steve was supplying him with beer and pizza and had even picked the pineapple off for him. Sleep was closing in with soft arms.
It's time to go home.
Danny stood up, dislodging two towels from his legs. He may or may not have swayed ever so slightly.
"Well, Steven, this has been… An adventure. But it's time to go home."
"Danno, you're not in a fit state to go home. You've had three beers and about half a litre of seawater."
"Steve, I've got work tomorrow at 7am. I'd love to stay, but really, I gotta go sleep. I'll book an Uber." Danny started in towards the house to grab his clothes.
"Or –"
Danny turned around and looked at Steve sleepily, unsure if he'd actually spoken.
"Or – you could stay here, Danno. I've got a spare room, remember. Plus, it means somebody can keep an eye on you in case you feel sick during the night."
"I've had three beers, Steven, and I'm not 16 years old," Danny protested."Yeah, Danno, but seawater is an emetic, it makes you vomit." Steve's wicked smile reappeared. "I would've thought they taught you that in med school though."
Danny groaned, too weak to protest any further.
"Take me to bed, Steve."
What did you just say?
"Right away, your Highness," Steve replied formally, pushing Danny along with his hand in the small of Danny's back.
Oh, god, that feels good. Never stop doing that.
The next thing Danny knew, he was wrapped up safe and warm in a spare NAVY T shirt and drifting to sleep in a bed with a quilt that had the same clean, salty smell as Steve's skin. His eyes finally closed as he mumbled goodnight to Steve, who switched out the light and closed the door, leaving it open halfway.
Just in case.
Steve took a moment to watch Danny sleep in his bed, uncharacteristically peaceful. Steve smiled, his heart full of happiness as he walked down the hall towards the spare room.
Love you, Danno.