Whispering Winds
Jessica's vision clouded with school memories. The cheerful voices of her friends tickled her ears. In the golden rose garden, she saw high school girls dash by in their pristine uniforms towards the concert. Giggling and embracing, the girls rushed past her and vanished like a cruel mirage.
The bubblegum clouds of the Golden Land slowly raced above her, and Jessica was shielded underneath a marble arbor. Entwining rose petals adorned the crevices of the arbor, and a few freely drifted in the cooling wind. Jessica watched as they fluttered away like the butterflies the witch treasured, swirling in the mild gust and disappearing.
She cupped a porcelain tea cup and glared the silver ridges. She had come to detest the regalness of her setting, the false utopia created by the culprit. Laughter rang out like a powerful gong, and magic burst at every corner. She could hear the bravado the Game Master enthused followed by the witch's cackling. Jessica assumed they were locked in another game of playful wits somewhere in the rosy throes of the garden, and their voices traveled in the wind to strike her head.
Jessica pursed her lips. She arched her back, resting her white-knuckled palms on her knees. Her bangs brushed over her gaze, and she swiftly shook her head. Her vision fell into her milk tea, observing the pale lines cascading down her cheeks. Clutching her drink, she sucked down the lukewarm beverage and stiffly set the cup back onto the bronze coster.
She gazed over her shoulder. Protected by the arbor's shadow and the rising rose garden, she glared as her cousin strolled with his beloved. Her heart pulsated, and she felt as if it was rocking against her ribcage. Their serene expressions scorned her, and the crimson scorching her cheeks spread to the tip of her flared nose.
The wind carried her name. Jessica gasped, clutching her chest and lifting her head. She opened her mouth and almost uttered a greeting when she realized no one was there. Silence met her with mocking apprehension. The chilling breeze brought her relatives' celebratory words for the young apprentice witch's magic.
Jessica rubbed her shoulders and shuddered. She brushed her worn fingertips against the cool table and stared ahead like a carcass. The same scenery seemed to grow with each glance. Endless roses surrounded the garden, lifting floral scents to itch at her nostrils. The same people filled her ageless life. The Golden Land, eternal in memory, caged her.
She should have been happy. He was with her and loved her. Her family surrounded her without the strain of money, misfortune, or malice to malign them. New friends arrived at the drop of a hat. The Golden Land was a private kingdom of equals and lovers enraptured in jubilation.
Yet, nothing changed. The stagancy of the Golden Land continued. Repetitive tea parties, ceaseless conversations about the past, and the warped reality of the Golden Land acted as if no tragedy occured. They were ghosts acting out as regality.
Despite the cultivated joy and love encircling the Golden Land, she suffocated as if buried alive. Jessica writhed like a rattling corpse in a splintery coffin. She choked on pastries and magic. The itching sensation of stagnancy clawed at her skin as everyone's voices meshed into a cacophony of harsh noise.
She could have any object she wanted with a mere thought or snap of her fingers. Mysteries and fragments were played with during times of boredom. The gameboard opened, and stories were frivolously relished without the former enmity among her family and the mystical beings.
Yet, she was dead. No future existed for her. It was the same tortuous three days. How blood spilled and dying wails echoed wracked in her chaotic mind. Even in scenarios of bliss, the ending was the same. The explosion consumed everything like a black hole devouring the world. Every time, her final thoughts were of confused despair.
She closed her eyes and drifted through her past. Standing on stage in costume singing to a raving, upbeat crowd of her fellow students tugged her lips into a smile. Her fingers plucked and strummed her electric guitar as the drumbeats rolled behind her. Everyone's cheering mingled in tune, and her happiness overflowed.
Jessica saw him in his dark clothing. His expression was a mask. Thin lips pursed. Seemingly cold eyes peered through her and then illuminated as her song reached his heart. He watched, and she thought she saw faint tears creeping along his eyelids. Perhaps they were jocund tears, but when she was alive, she would never bring up that question.
That day was one her of favorite memories. Her classmates' praise surrounded her. The fanfare and laughter flowed all around her. Classroom events such as haunted houses and cafes elicited screams and sighs. Any traces of pettiness among classmates vanished under the sun. Only peace existed, and Jessica smiled.
"Jessica-sama?"
The quiet voice sliced through her memory. Jessica banished her thoughts and gazed at Kanon. The soft, warm eyes and budding smile pierced her soul, and her back ached as if stabbed. It was possibly her muscle memory from the second game harming her as she looked at him.
"Kanon-kun, hey," Jessica warbled, relaxing in her seat as he stood beside her.
Kanon waited. Like always, he prepared himself for an order. As she always screamed, Kanon was no longer furniture. Everyone was equal in the Golden Land. She gripped her fist underneath the table.
"You don't have to stand, Kanon-kun. Come on," she urged, slapping the table.
Hot pink burned his cheeks, and Kanon replied, "Sorry. I guess it's a habit."
Jessica chuckled. "I thought you would've lost that by now. How long has it been?"
Kanon briefly mused. "I believe it has been fifteen years."
"Wow! The years really are flying by!" Jessica guffawed, hitting her thigh. "I'd be thirty-three and probably having a midlife crisis!"
Her comments stirred him just she expected. Jessica sighed, relaxing her shoulders. She buried her chin to her chest and closed her eyes. Waving her hand over her teacup, it was instantly refilled, and she took a sip.
"Thirty-three," she murmured, resting her face in her palm. "I bet Ange is writing her next novel. Sakutaro really is going on wonderful adventures in her works."
"You're embittered," Kanon mumbled, and Jessica grinned.
"I guess I am. Fifteen years is a long time, Kanon-kun, to still be eighteen," Jessica replied, her tone harsh.
Kanon made no comment. He felt her steeled glare pierce through him, and he calmed his shivering. Kanon summoned his own teacup and took a sip of soothing green tea. In tandem, they drank and set their cups down.
"Kanon-kun, there's really no future here. Everything's the same. Endless roses, endless death scenarios, and endless tranquility. Nothing will ever change in paradise," Jessica announced, crossing her legs and resting her arms behind her head.
"Jessica-sama-"
"I know you're sorry. I've heard it a lot from you. Everyone's guilty of something, right? Something we'll have for the rest of our goddamn afterlife?" She stood, brushing rose petals off her shoulders. "I'm gonna walk around the garden for the four thousand eight hundred seventy-third time."
Her brusque toned ended their conversation. She was unsure about how many times she walked around the rose garden, but perhaps, her assumption was close. Kanon called out to her, but she already stormed off into the towering roses. The powerful foliage shadowed her toned form. Thorns scraped against her legs, and bloody rivulets dripped down to her socks. His voice became a lingering whisper in the wind.
She stood with only the gust calling to her. She reached out to the benevolent sky of oranges and pinks. Faint voices hailed to her, and the past's song swirled around her. Jessica embraced herself and hummed the unifying tune.
The world shifted, and she was on her stage. In hand was her electric guitar. Her voice burst with electricity and heart as the lyrics roused the audience's excitement. Jessica danced, laughing and crying as the cheers turned into chanting solely for her.
She wondered what everyone was doing. All of her classmates mourned and must have moved on to their futures. She believed she should have been with them even if she moved on from those memories years ago.
The audience fanned out and abandoned her song, slowly turning away one by one. Their goodbyes tarnished her musicality. She reached for them, wordlessly crying out for them to take her with them into the future.
A hand clutched her tense fingers. Jessica gasped and wrenched her weary eyes open. Tears blurred her vision, but she plainly saw her savior.
Ange smiled and gripped a book. Hanging off her shoulder was a plastic bag filled with copies of the novel. She brought Jessica to her shoulder, tightly holding her. Jessica slowly breathed, embracing her cousin and sniffling. Ange rubbed her back and kept the book pressed to their chests. The final Beatrice cupped Jessica's cheek and wiped away her tears.
"Jessica-onee-chan, I brought you my latest novel. I hope you'll like it," Ange said, sliding the book into Jessica's bony hands.
"Th-thanks, Ange. Sorry, I-" Jessica pursed her lips.
Ange nodded. "I understand. I'm sorry."
Jessica sighed. "I got upset at Kanon-kun again. Even though the reality is that he's only partially responsible for all of this, I guess I still can't get over it."
"I don't blame you. No one does. I'm sure Kanon understands."
"That's his sin," Jessica hissed, digging her fingernails into the book. "Taking my future from me. They all did."
Ange soothed Jessica's tense shoulders. "It was all a culmination of sins."
Jessica smirked. "Still hurts. Even if all these years pass, I can't help but wonder what I'd be doing now. A musician maybe? Family head? Dead by some other method? It's fun to dream, isn't it? In any case, I hope the living me in another fragment is happy."
"She is. I'm sure she is," Ange murmured, squeezing Jessica's free hand. "After all, I'm ANGE-Beatrice. By that name alone, I know it's true."
"Thanks. Are you going to see the others?"
"Mmhm. I'm going to see Maria-onee-chan and Sakutaro to give them copies, too. Then, I'll distribute the rest to everyone else," Ange said, tilting her head. "Want to walk back together?"
"No thanks. I need to talk to Kanon-kun."
Ange nodded, saying her goodbyes and vanishing in a fluttering spell of golden butterflies. Jessica turned on her heels and marched to the arbor, her expression devoid of emotion. Clutching the book to her chest, she parted the roses and gazed across the path to the arbor.
Kanon clutched his face. Soft whimpers and hitched breaths were sucked into the budding gusts. He hunched forward, elbows threatening to slip off the table.
Jessica's shoes clicked on the cobblestone path. She gently clutched his stiff shoulder. Kanon raised his head, wiping his eyes with the back of his palm. She shook her head and sat next him.
"I'm sorry, Kanon-kun," she crooned. "That was wrong of me."
"You have every right to still feel hatred towards me and the others. I deserve it, but thank you, Jessica-sama," Kanon said, quietly taking her hand and kissing her pale knuckles.
"I'm happy with you. I want you to always remember that even if I have these moments of weakness, I love you. I always will."
"I love you too, but it isn't weakness. It's sorrow. It's natural to feel it even if all of these years have passed."
They weakly smiled at each other. Jessica smoothed the cover of Ange's recent addition to her famed series, chuckling at the beautiful illustration of Sakutaro. Nestling together, they read Ange's newest masterpiece and continued their happiness.