Edwards Hobby

New fanfic This is my main one.

I hope you like it. PLEASE REVIEW!

Today the sun shone brightly outside. Good for humans, but for us vampires it meant we couldn't go to school and let everyone see us sparkle. I mean, I would not mind , but Carlisle might., and a few girls might faint at my beauty.

Of course everyone was doing something- except for me. Emmett and Jasper were playing video games again (Emmett's addicted to 'Super Mario Bros' for some reason. He likes to be Mario and Jasper's Luigi and they call each other by those names in the duration of the game, because they're five year olds like that). Rosalie is helping Alice with making a new dress (they're favourite hobby) Carlisle is at work and Esme is trying out a new cookery book that Carlisle got her.

I could hear everyone's thoughts about their loved ones and their good, normal hobbies:

Alice: Jasper and Emmett sound like their having fun. I wonder what colour Rosalie had decided to choose for the sequence... Oh- light lilac that would be perfect! Why didn't think of that ?

Rosalie: I picked a lilac colour; it looked like the colour my eyes used to be. Emmett and Jasper are at the wii again. AGAIN!

Esme: So... you get all ingredients and put them on a regular electronic mixing machine for about ten minutes straight...I don't think so, were're trying to make this world better not worse: be friendly to the environment, etc

*gets a wooden spoon and stirs the liquid at a speed faster than light, not spilling a drop around the perfectly shining kitchen*

There. Clean kitchen, nice cake for someone at Carlisle's work and no fumes in the atmosphere! Good for one and all!

Emmett: Okay- Get that multicoloured box thingy and then use whatever is in it against Jasper. I wish Rosalie would agree to dress up as Princess Peach again for me. It really turns me on when she's in that bright pink dress with the crown... I am so lucky; she always looks like a queen.

Jasper: Aww damn, Emmett caught me out- I should have guessed something smart was going on in his usually pea sized brain; since he was feeling so confident. Mm... Daisy, kind of reminds me of Alice dressing up as her for me.

Everyone was enjoying themselves, but me.

Okay, I have this new...hobby. I have become really depressed with being on my own all the time...and I haven't had sex since I was 17 (before I got changed into a vampire, I used to be a new type of skipping rope for the ladies) so I started, this album.

I called it 'The Sluts Of Baboznia' . So basically I take photos of naked girls and put them in it. It really turns me on.

In preparation for making this book, I made sure to get myself a high resolution camera and I was glad that we were rich enough to pay for it, because it coasted a lot.

I have a content page, I made up Baboznia, obviously, and in the content page there are different places or shops in a typical town or village. One section is the police station, which takes up four sides of the pink coloured paper. Before I took the photos for that I went out to a local adult dress up shop and got slutty police outfits and hats and clubs. I then put them in a plastic bag and went to a girls youth club, where there were many pretty young girls for many to look at. None of them ever protested, they all did exactly as I told them to, which gave me a boner and a half.

I spend a lot of my time practicing my 'sexy smile' in the mirror, which I use every time I go to do one of these photo shots.

I went upstairs and grabbed my camera... I think I might do Boboznia school today.

A.N. I know it's a bit short. Sorry if you don't like Edward as a man whore- but that's what this story is about.

PLEASE REVIEW !