The Long Wait
There will come a day where I run out of ideas for Adventure Time oneshots. But today is not that day. Enjoy.
Charles Augustus Buffenschloffer was very, very evil.
He readily admitted to this fact, even took it as a compliment. From a young age, he had devoted himself to the study of malice, becoming readily capable of cackling callously with the best by the age of 11. It was something he was very good at.
It was unsurprising, after that, that he became a Dark Mage. It was a fitting career path for a young mutant man as evil as himself. He graduated from the Dark University of Darkness with a Masters' in Thirst for Power with Destructive Intent. His parents were so proud of him, they didn't even mind when he sacrificed them as one of his first demonic pacts. It was a touching family moment.
In his further studies, he learned of a hidden temple constructed in a far-flung corner of Ooo, said to be the resting place of a source of ridiculous destructive power, capable of razing Ooo to a burnt husk with barely a thought.
It was practically his job to attempt to seal and harness this power for his own ends. You really couldn't blame him. So he packed his bags with every book, candle, scroll and sealing circle chalk stick he could carry, and set out for the Deadly Wastes with a spring in his step.
On the other side of the Wastes, he found the temple, a castle of yellow stone, well camouflaged by the surrounding sand and cracked earth. Getting closer, he saw the building had no doors. It was almost welcoming. A sure sign that traps were lurking in the shadows. He muttered an incantation for Second Sight and stepped in through the doorway, out of the hot sun, and into the surprisingly frigid air of the temple.
As he walked through, not a single trap was sprung, nor even was made apparent by his protective spell. There weren't even any skeletons, so either the temple did have traps, and was just cleaned regularly, or there just weren't any at all.
Charles shivered. Not from the cold, it was pleasantly cool, particularly after the harsh sun he had walked through for three days to get there. It was just unnerving. He'd expected a pit of snakes or a labyrinth, not a straight corridor to the central chamber. His step remained slow and light, but when his Second Sight expired, he didn't bother to reapply it.
After a little while, he reached the central chamber. Sunlight filtered through the roof, raising the temperature slightly, and throwing light onto the stone fixtures of the room.
It had six sides, one mostly covered by the archway through which he had entered, another four, two on either side of him, covered with inscriptions, and the opposite...
A huge mural, covered with carved flame motifs, trailing up the wall to a focal point in the structure, where a huge, crimson orb sat, embedded in the rock, shapes and patterns flickering across its surface like sparks and tongues of flame. Was this it? The power? Or a puzzle, a barrier between him and his prize, ready to be solved.
Standing between him and the orb, central in the chamber, was a statue of a huge man with bulging muscles, long, cascading hair, arms draped over a mighty sword. His face was stoic and youthful, but with just a hint of sadness. The stone of the statue saw no sign of wear or tear, unlike the walls. That was suspicious. Was it a golem? Would it activate if he trod wrong? Best check the inscriptions before doing anything rash.
He stepped sideways, and suddenly noticed a rather grim detail. While the corridor had been devoid of skeletons, this room more than compensated. They were everywhere, propped up by the walls, stacked on top of one another. A myriad of shapes and sizes, all united in death. Some still bore shreds of their clothing, mostly mage's robes. Most people would be deterred by this, but not this Dark mage. He pushed a skeleton out of the way, and began to read the first wall's inscription.
It was a story, the story of the being whose power was sealed there.
There once was a princess of a land of flames, born unto an evil king. The king was foretold that his daughter would overthrow him in time, and so he decreed that the child was to be left in the woods to die. He sent his trusted servant to do the deed, but the man was compassionate, and could not simply abandon the newborn. He left her with a woodsman, only for her, with impressive power for one as yet untested, to burn down his house and the entire wood. Seeing this, the wise and mighty queen of a neighbouring Kingdom took the child back to her father, demanding that her power be restrained for the good of the world. He agreed, and locked his daughter in a glass lantern, for fifteen years.
Charles reached the bottom of the wall, and moved on to the next one. This was a pretty good story. The king sounded like his kind of guy. Probably the sort of person he'd like to be court wizard to some day. If he knew his legends, then the next segment would involve a hero.
Fifteen years later, the king released his daughter to a man who sought to impress the king and his princess with a myriad of gifts. However, this was not a prince, but the adoptive brother of one, the Baron of the Grasslands. The baron sook the princess' hand for his brother, the land's Hero prince, to soothe the pains of the prince's heart, for he was unable to love one he thought he adored- the very same queen who locked the princess away. But the baron failed, or so he thought, as the king was not impressed by his gifts, asking why the prince was absent. Using magic, the baron impersonated his brother, but again failed to impress the prospective paramour. In a moment of insanity, he acted out his own death at the hands of his brother, knowing full well he would do no such thing, and unwittingly convinced the king that the prince was evil enough to be suitable for his daughter. The Baron realised his mistake, and accidentally angered the princess, causing her to rush to the Prince's home, eager to destroy it as an act of vengeance, but in doing so nearly extinguished herself, being saved by the Prince himself.
The wall ended, and Charles looked to the third. He quickly noted that he owed himself five bucks for the Hero thing.
For the prince, it was love at first sight. The queen forgotten, he woke the princess, who struck him in anger, then raced into the night. Tracking her down, the prince forged a tenuous bond with the princess, despite their natural incompatibility. They faced many trials, and he taught her the ways of good, changing her alignment forever, despite the continuing subtle influences of her father. It was a sweet couple, the two of them, until one fateful day where the prince erred in his judgement, shattering the ties between them. Realising her place in the world, the princess returned to her Kingdom and overthrew her father, changing the corrupt, evil land into one of honesty and peace. Thus, she became its queen. Bearing no ill will against the prince, she bid him to visit whenever he wished, in exchange for his total honesty. Saddened by his loss, the prince threw himself into his work, his other interests, anything to distract himself from his heartbreak. It did not work. He debauched for a while, but quickly stopped upon realising it held nothing for him. He did not return to his love's kingdom, bar once in an emergency, where the evil king sought to retake the throne.
The third wall ended. Charles was definitely enjoying this story. He had some vague ideas as to its relevance to the power, but nothing concrete. He began reading the fourth and final wall.
Then, another ten years since they first met, at a time when their maturity could suppress all but the most wanton emotions for the greater good, the queen called upon her former lover for assistance. Her father had staged a second coup, in which he was slain. With his dying breath, he bequeathed all his energies into his daughter, seeking to corrupt her with evil power. Barely managing to contain her own destructive urges, she bade the wise queen, her once enemy, to seal her away, as to prevent herself from doing harm to the world. And so the wise queen did, in this temple. But knowing that evildoers would seek to utilise her power for her own ends, she made a place for an eternal guardian to stand, encased in stone until the queen's power required defending, or could be safely stabilised. Seeking long-awaited redemption for his age-old transgression, the Hero prince volunteered, to the dismay of all, but to no solid objections. To guard the ultimate destructive power, the ultimate warrior was needed, and none was more capable than the prince. And so the queen was once again sealed in glass, to contain her power, and before her, the Hero, immortalised in stone, until he be needed.
Charles stood up, and looked at the two main features of the room. The statue encasing the Hero, and the orb encasing the queen. Presumably, as soon as he made a move on the orb, the hero would spring to life and try to kill him. Judging by the number of skeletons, he'd done that a lot of times.
But he couldn't just leave. Not after coming so far. He could try to siphon the power away using a circle, without even getting near the orb. That might not even activate the Hero. Yes, that was his plan. It would probably, wait, no, definitely kill the queen, but what did he care?
Taking a stick of chalk out from his bag, he drew a transmutation circle on the ground, and stood in its centre, ready to absorb the power. He spoke the activation phrase, and the circle glowed. Slowly, tiny tendrils of orange began to float from the orb set in the wall, flowing down, over the statue's head, and towards the circle. Charles grinned. It was working! The power was his!
Were it so easy. In a swift, almost invisible movement, the statue of the Hero jerked, slashing the air before him with his sword, the tip passing inches from the Mage's nose. Whatever lines of power drew the red tendrils across the room, the blade severed them, the power rushing back to its source. The statue made no further movement, but began to vibrate, softly at first, then more violently. He was most definitely awake now.
The intruder readied himself for combat, quickly swigging a protection potion and conjuring fireballs in his hands, stepping back from the plinth, out of sword's reach.
The stone idol was practically rattling on its pedestal now, tiny fissures forming on the masonry surface, widening and spreading rapidly, until it simply blew.
Tiny chips of sandstone exploded outwards, scratching at Charles' exposed skin, making him recoil, shielding his eyes. When he uncovered them, the guardian stood before him in all his splendour.
The man looked almost godly. Whilst not ridiculously tall, only a half foot taller than Charles himself, he was built lean and strong, with bulging arms and wide shoulders, partially covered by a chain mail vest. There was also the matter of his hair, like a mane of spun gold. In his hand, he gripped the sword, also apparently sealed within the stone, and on his face, he wore an unsettling smile. Thus, when faced with the awakened warrior's words, it was quite a shock.
"Oh, cool. Another guy." The Hero spoke. "What's up?"
Charles didn't know how to respond to that. If the man had just leapt straight in, trying to cut him in half, the situation would have been pleasingly binary. But instead he was making small talk.
The Hero looked down at the floor, where the circle was drawn, and tutted.
"Aw, come on man. You really think you were the first one to try that?" He raised his sword, pointing out various skeletons around the room. "He tried it, I think she tried it... Maybe him..." He put the sword down, and leant on it, still quite casual. "Now, dude, I gotta ask. Are you good or evil?"
"What do you think?" The Mage spat.
"Evil. Figures. Well, that leaves you two options, man. You leave now, or I kill ya."
"I'm not leaving without the queen's power." The Hero laughed at that.
"Dude, you really don't want that stuff. You'd blow up." He sighed. "But I guess you're not gonna listen. Figures. Oh well." He readied his sword, but Charles, being the dishonourable scoundrel he was, struck before his opponent was ready, shooting two gouts of fire at his enemy. The flames roared over the human's skin, but his skin did not burn. He simply charged through them, driving his blade forward through the heat, and into his attacker's chest.
The streams of flames cut out, and Charles choked, his lung impaled and filling up with blood. The victorious prince withdrew his blade, and the Mage collapsed to the floor, wheezing and clutching at his wound.
"Man, you didn't really think I'd be guarding a glob-like fire elemental if I wasn't at least a little fireproof, did you?" Charles couldn't speak. He cursed himself for such foolishness. With a dreadful sureness, he realised that this was his end. The Hero stood above him, blade poised over his neck. "Say hi to Death for me if you see him." The man chirped, and brought the blade down.
And that is how Charles Augustus Buffenschloffer died.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Finn dragged the fresh corpse over to the edge of the room, propping him up in one of his favourite dungeon skeleton poses. Pity he had to be evil. Good guys who showed up, usually just curious or looking for treasure, they were great company. They'd stay a few hours, have a laugh, and leave, never telling anyone what they found. Evil guys, well, he couldn't let them live if they looked like they'd end up coming back. Then they'd prepare, and that wasn't good. He might even lose.
Ensuring an optimum intimidation factor for when the new corpse's flesh rotted away, he strolled back to the middle of the room, taking a good long look at the huge gem he was guarding. Inside, he knew FP was fast asleep, probably not even aware that someone had tried to suck her power out. That was a small comfort. He didn't even want to know how long he'd been guarding her. Months? Years? Centuries?
When he'd volunteered for the job, he knew what he was getting himself into. He knew what he was getting the rest of Ooo into, as well. Crime probably spiked when he disappeared. Hell, for all he knew, the whole place could have burned to the ground. Not that he had any way of knowing. He couldn't leave, he wouldn't leave. No, sir. FP was far too dangerous. He'd witnessed that first hand.
Unbidden, the memories came flooding back.
"Come on, Flambo, I need this! Whatever happened in there, it's important!" Finn stood just outside the borders of the Fire Kingdom, waiting for the tiny flambit to finish his Flame Shield incantation. At long last, the blue hue spread over his body, and he rocketed off, shouting thanks over his shoulder, barely leaving the tiny guy time to speak.
He'd been adventuring alone in the western grasslands, when he'd suddenly received a call on his emergency phone from someone he hadn't heard from in years. Flame Princess. He could barely hear what she was saying, her voice was croaky and pained, but he knew he heard his name, and the word help. That alone was enough to make him drop the key to the day's next dungeon, and rush off to the border. Luckily, he'd found Flambo along the way.
Reaching the city gates, he screamed the truth of his visit at the guards.
"Dudesthekingjustcalledmeshesoundedrealhurtletmeinquick!" The two guards looked at each other, then him, and parted, the gate opening. More shouted thanks, more sprinting.
He ran through the winding market lanes, drawing no end of funny looks, and up the stairs to the palace, dashing through the open doors. Dead fire elementals littered the floor, creating a heavy weight in the pit of his stomach. Where was she?
He frantically looked around, the momentary rest doing nothing to slow his breathing. A few scorch marks were present on the floor, trailing like footsteps up a set of stairs. Finn had done enough tracking in the preceding years to know a limp when he saw it. He gritted his teeth and ran up the stairs, silently cursing himself for not being there to help.
The marks trailed upstairs, leading him to the royal living quarters. Unable to fully stop his momentum, Finn skidded through the ajar door, panting hard. Inside, Flame Princess lay on her bed, a blackened hunk of stone, whilst Cinnamon Bun sat beside her on a chair, mopping at her brow with a cloth. Her face was contorted in pain, and she writhed about on the bed, not even noticing the human's noisy entry.
Her knight, however, did. He looked over to the breathless hero, a grim look on his aged face. He looked a lot older, his flesh crusty and hardened, but his beady black eyes still shone.
"What... Happened?" Finn panted out. They hadn't seen each other in years, but the situation was too tense for chitchat.
"The old king staged another coup." The pastry stated. "This time he paid with his life, not with his freedom. But not before he did this..." FP made a pained noise, and her skin flared brighter, a pulse of energy bursting from her body, knocking the knight out of his chair. Finn rushed to help him up, noticing that he winced at the movement. He'd been hurt too.
"What did he do?"
"I don't know. He shot a bit of fire at her. What made that particular bit special is beyond me. She might know..." He gestured to the tortured monarch, and began to mop her brow again, minus chair. "But she can't tell us right now. She called you and Bubblegum, and then collapsed into this state."
"PB's coming?" CB nodded.
"She can't come fast enough. The palace doctor died in the coup. She's the only one who could possibly know what's happening."
"And..." Finn stopped himself. His curiosity burned, but he had learned not to ask that kind of question any more. But CB noticed.
"What? You wondering why she called you?" He'd hit the nail on the head. "I don't know that either." He raised his head to look out through the open window. "I just hope Bubblegum gets here soon." He shifted his weight and put an arm on the bedpost. Finn noticed a large, bleeding wound on his leg, hastily and improperly bandaged.
"Dude, you need to get that fixed up properly." The bun glanced down at the wound, the. Returned to his duty.
"It's nothing." An obvious lie, even to Finn.
"Come on, CB, rule number one round here is?" The knight stiffened.
"It can wait." He corrected.
"Cinnamon Bun. That gash is gonna get infected if you don't clean it up. Let that happen and you might never walk, or fight again. And you don't want PB fussing over you when she gets here, do you?" The words rang true.
"...Fine. There's a box of candy medical supplies in the kitchens. See if you can find something to numb her pain as well." Finn nodded and dashed off again. Their conversation had been brief, particularly since they hadn't seen each other in nearly ten years. CB had looked old. It was kind of a shocker, seeing someone age like that. He briefly wondered about how he looked in comparison to back then, before he reached the kitchens and his concerns became more immediate.
After spending a good five minutes rummaging in the deserted room, he finally found the medical cabinet, hidden behind a towering pillar of pots and pans. He grabbed the pink box with a picture of a gingerbread man on it, and scanned the labels of various other pill bottles, looking for a painkiller, and eventually just grabbed it all.
He made it back up, Cinnamon Bun plucking the right pill bottle from the bunch and dropping two into a glass of lava on the bedside table. He then sat, and began to patch his leg up. Finn took the glass and walked to FP, gently propping her up and holding the glass to her lips.
He felt her take tiny sips, and held the glass until she shakily reached up to take it herself. Finally having drained it, he took it away, and she lay back down, still clutching at the bedsheets. He picked up Cinnamon Bun's rag and began to swab the ruler's forehead himself as she continued to writhe. Seeing her like this was painful. Teeth clenched, muscles tensed in pain... He felt so very powerless to help.
However bad I feel, CB probably feels a whole lot worse. He thought to himself.
The bun finished patching himself up, and Finn passed the rag back to him. They waited for a good ten minutes in tense silence, save for the queen's grunts of pain, until the sound of screeching wheels was heard outside. Finn rushed to the balcony, seeing PB hurriedly stepping out of a shielded carriage, wearing a heatproof suit. He waved his arms, yelling her name, and she turned. Leaving the carriage door open, she ran up the steps. Finn turned back to CB, who nodded grimly.
A few moments later, PB was up in the bedroom, piles of equipment in her arms. At first, the scene seemed to shock her, but her composure rapidly room quickly began to resemble a lab as she set up, her questions almost continuous. To many, it might have appeared rude, but neither Cinnamon Bun nor Finn was in a position to question the princess' work.
Bonnibel scanned, examined and scrutinised the bedstricken queen for nearly an hour, neither of the two onlookers leaving for even a moment.
Finally, the suited scientist stood, detaching a strange instrument from her helmet. She turned to Cinnamon Bun.
"We need to get her to the Candy Kingdom. Now." He frowned, clearly apprehensive.
"Why?"
"If my theory is correct, then every moment she spends in an uncontrolled environment is likely to make her condition much worse. And if it gets bad enough..." She trailed off. "It will not be pretty." Her former citizen stared her down, but she remained adamant.
"...Fine. But I'm coming too." He stepped past Bubblegum to try and pick up the prone queen, only to wince at the extra weight on his leg. Finn intervened.
"CB, you're injured. I'll carry her." The knight turned and fixed him with a stare. They held it for a moment, until the bun broke off and limped out the door, muttering at him to be careful. Bubblegum gave the hero a nod before following the bun to ready the carriage for departure.
Finn turned back to the queen. She seemed unconscious, but he really had no idea. Just keep it professional. He told himself, sliding his arms under her legs and back.
That became quite a bit harder as he stepped through the door and she subconsciously began to cling to cling to him, hands gently bunching in his shirt. He kept his eyes front and centre.
He quickly reached the carriage, where Bubblegum was helping CB up into his seat, the scene being confusedly observed by a large crowd of the Fire Kingdom populace. Once he was in place, Finn stepped up to place Flame Princess next to him.
Just before he could do so, however, he heard a loud whinny and clatter of hooves on stone behind him, and turned to see the cause of the commotion.
It was Flame Princess' older brother. He'd not seen him since the whole "Jake Suit" bet thing he'd had with Jake, but still looked largely the same, bar being slightly more imposing. He rode a flaming red horse, which evidently had been ridden hard to get there. He dismounted and stared thunderously at the scene, appearing torn between horror and rage. It suddenly occurred to Finn that out of context, this looked very much like a kidnapping. The prince stomped closer to the carriage, hand on the grip of his sabre.
"I hear word of my father's rebellion, and ride three hours solid from the western lands..." He hissed at the three outsiders, "...and this is what I find?" He drew his sword, causing everybody present to tense up. "What is this? An abduction? Treason?" He pointed at the two candy people. "Was this your plan all along, you sugared wretches? A man on the inside, ready to strike when the time was right, when my sister was at her weakest?" CB glowered at him, but his reply' stone remained measured.
"She's hurt, sire! The princess knows more than we do about what is wrong, we need to-"
"Silence, you traitor! How could we have been so foolish as to trust a man who forsook his own race?!" The pastry's face fell further, but was silenced by a hand on his shoulder. Bonnibel's.
"We don't have time for this..." She whispered. Finn heard, and placed the near-comatose monarch in her seat, then stepped down. He too drew his sword.
"Go." He said to the cohort. "I'll catch up."
"You shall do no such thing!" Yelled the prince, but the door was already closed, and the engine humming into life. The carriage sped off down the road towards the gates, leaving Finn alone with the furious prince. The native pointed his blade at the Hero, his intent evident on his features. Murderous. "First I will snuff out your light, and then I shall follow them."
"Bring it, tough guy." The human replied. "Bubblegum's trying to help. If you beat me here, your sis might die, and I'm not gonna let that happen." The prince scoffed.
"I wonder if you believe the drivel you spout?! I never liked you, whelp. From the moment I met you-"
"To be fair, I didn't really have the chance to make a good impression..."
"Silence! You have brought nothing but pain and ruin to my sister! Even now, as she moves ever closer to that wretched Kingdom, you stand between me and her with such self-righteousness!"
"She was dying! PB is the best hope for finding out what was wrong with her! Right now what I'm doing is protecting her from you!"
"Drivel! The Candy princess is not to be trusted under any circumstance! We should have burned the place to the ground as soon as possible! And that is exactly what I shall do once I discover the witch's plan!"
Finn sighed.
"Glob, dude. Why does anybody even talk to you?" He adjusted his stance. "I gotta get back. Let's get this over with." His opponent narrowed his eyes.
"Yes. Let's."
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Finn shook the memories away and looked up at the sealed sphere. It had been her matrix again. That damned thing, always causing trouble. When FK gave her his power, it filled her up with more energy than her matrix could take. She started dying, breaking apart, all because her heart couldn't take it. That's why PB sealed her away. She had to slow down the rate of degeneration, to make sure all that power didn't kill her... Or worse.
If she'd let it all go... Just released it all in one big blast... Not only would the shock kill her, I t would have burned Ooo to the ground. That would also be the case if she died still holding on to it. So, the seal it was, slowing the passage of time around her while PB worked on a cure. But who knew how long that would take? And how many people would come after the power? (Counting the skeletons around him, Finn presently surmised around forty.) She needed to be remote, secret. But that couldn't happen if PB kept heavy surveillance. She'd be found out by a hacker or something, and then the secret would be out.
That was where the desert temple idea had come from. No one in their right mind ventured this far into the badlands without a very good reason. But there would still be some that found out, via rumours or leaks. So a protector was needed to guard the place, for as long as need be. That was where he came in.
Initially, he didn't think it was his place to do it. CB had, of course, volunteered first. But his injury proved worse than anticipated. That, and the Fire Kingdom needed a trusted voice to calm them down. He was needed elsewhere. PB had toyed with the idea of a robot, more than one if necessary, but the sands put too much strain on the prototypes. They crumbled before long.
To be fair, he didn't exactly have much to do by then. Contrary to Billy's sentiment, it seemed that evil got the message after enough beatings. Crime had stayed down, even when he relaxed his schedule a bit. It was almost a non-issue. Jake had left the treehouse to spend more time with Lady, and he and BMO were left in the tree fort. He wondered what happened to the house when he had stepped up to defend the temple. BMO probably moved in with PB or the other MO's at the factory, so what about the old place? So many questions...
In the end... Why had he taken the job? There could have been plenty of other options. He was effectively throwing his life away. Maybe... He felt he still owed her? That feeling was never going to go away, but yet... It was there. He still felt he had to make it up to her. For everything.
Finn felt a stiffness beginning to set into his limbs. He was running out of time. He stepped up onto the podium again, striking his best heroic pose as one of PB's parting gifts took hold. Other than the fireproof skin, she'd also given him a way to still be young by the time she found a cure. When inactive, his flesh would petrify, turning to stone until a threat arose. In all his time as guardian, he'd aged about a day. She'd aged even less, probably an hour at most. But then again, he had no idea of the sense of time. PB could be dead by now. The world could be completely different. And he was stuck here.
But he had to stay. As his flesh turned to stone again, Finn closed his eyes. Soon, the wait would be over. Any day now.
"See you in the morning..."