1Reese stepped out of the office building and took in a deep breath of that beautiful Albany air and exhaled... "I'm so hot!" And fifteen men ran out of an alley and kidnapped her. They rushed into a V8 powered VW Bus and drove off. She looked around at her captors as they filled out legal papers. She wasn't sure what she was doing here, but she had to make sure they knew she wasn't going to be taken without a fight.
"Is bill-writing super fun, or what?" she exclaimed.
The mobsters looked at her like she had just told them she was a packet of Oscar Meyer weiners that had been shipped from Russia to deliver news to the President that wearing purple shoes on Fridays was illegal. They shrugged and went back to their work. The van slowed to a crawl and finally stopped in front of Ace Hardware, their current hideout. Reese was dragged into the backroom and dropped at the feet of...
"Haha! You look funny! What happened to your face? I know a great cosmetologist that can cover tha-"
"SHUT UP! No one addresses the mighty Doctor Doom in that matter! Spidey, go get my guest a latte, hold the cream, extra soy. Now!"
Peter ran to do his master's bidding. Reese was busy fixing her hair when the back wall exploded! KABOOM!!! James ran into the room with Sig Sauer ready in his hand.
"Who are you?" Doom inquired.
"The name's Bond. James Bond. And I am here in the rescue of my beloved Mary Jane!"
By then, Peter had returned with Reese's mocha latte, hold the cream, extra soy. Hearing Bond's remark, he dropped the mocha latte, hold the cream, extra soy and yelled at Reese,
"M.J.?!!? You're cheating on me?! For a guy from across the pond!?! Why?!"
"Who are you?" she responded, "I'm so hot."
"It's true!" Doom shouted above the noise.
"Oh crap! Now they've gone brainwashed you! Don't you remember me?" Peter cried.
"There's only one that can brainwash one, and that is-"
KABOOM!!!
The other wall exploded, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione flew in on Hippogriffs, closely followed by Hagrid on his flying motorcycle. They jumped down and withdrew their wands.
Harry said, "Hello, James, good to see you again. I'm sure you've all heard of me, Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, The One and Only son of James and Lily Potter, the man, the myth, the legend, you've read the books, now you can see the movies!!! (all 27 of them) And this is Ron, Hermione, and Hagrid."
Bond shot at the Hippogriffs, then they imploded from too much excitement. Then he launched into song:
I am a spy
Not your average guy
Just the simple fact that I can't die
Leaves those villains wondering why
As they continually try
To get my last goodbye
And I never seem to sweat!
"Dude, seriously?" Peter asked, and Michael Jackson moonwalked him so hard in the face he landed in the middle of next week.
"I'm so hot." Reese said.
"Will you stop-"
KABOOM!!!
A third wall exploded and the whole building collapsed at the feet of the unstoppable Chuck Norris. He round house kicked James so hard they all died.
And Chuck got the mocha latte, hold the cream, extra soy.