Mommy's Plans: A Silent Hill Story
"Alessa, are you almost ready to go?"
Alessa Gillespie pulled herself further into the corner of her room, tucking her legs beneath her. Maybe, if she stayed very quiet, Mommy would forget her. Maybe she'd just realize that she didn't want to go.
She heard footsteps coming down the hall and sighed. No such luck.
Mommy was a tall woman, with a severe face. Her brown hair fell just to the top of her thick blue coat. She could look very imposing when she wanted to, and this was one of those times.
"Mommy, I want to stay here," Alessa said, trying one last time.
"Now, come on, Alessa. You know Mommy's friends like you."
They don't like me; they like what you say about me, she thought sullenly, but she got up and followed her mother. Mother of God. That's what they see, when you show me to people.
She didn't understand how they could think that. It was better than being called a freak or witch, like when she was with the other kids at school, but she didn't know why Mommy would say such things. She was just a seven-year-old girl, feeling awkward in her blue school uniform. Everyone would be mean to her and make her feel uncomfortable, and yet they thought that she was the Mother of God.
If I were Her mother, then wouldn't She answer my prayers? Why does She let these scary people bother us?
But she kept her thoughts to herself as they got into the car. It upset Mommy if she asked too many questions about that, especially if it was about her own role as the future mother.
Mommy's friends were scary, though, and Alessa hated the way they looked at her. This was the worst of all the trips—when they went to the Wish House Orphanage. There was something about the place that made it seem scary and bad. She didn't know what it was, and Mommy always assured her that it was a wonderful place, but she sometimes wondered what would happen if she slipped off on her own to look around.
She thought of the Wish House when she and Claudia would talk about Paradise. Usually they talked about what would be there, and how wonderful it would be, but there were times when Claudia, bruised and crying, wanted to talk about what would not be in their Paradise. They'd cling to each other, and talk about scary, horrible people, and Alessa would think of some of the faces she had seen at the Wish House.
She wished Claudia was here with her now. She felt very alone.
She ducked down as they crossed into the forest. The trees, looming darkly above her, looked like monsters with the shadows they cast. When the car stopped, she didn't want to get out, but at Mommy's urging, she finally did.
At least she wasn't entirely alone. Mommy would never let anything really bad happen to her.
They walked swiftly down the path, until they were met by others—some were scary priests who often watched Alessa when she prayed, some were people she only ever had seen here, and others were new faces she had never seen before.
They all talked quietly, and although she caught words like ritual and birth, she couldn't make out their conversation.
They're talking about me, she realized sadly. It doesn't matter that I'm here, too. They smile at me, but none of them love me.
Not even Mommy? she asked herself, but she didn't have an answer.
They talked, and looked over at her, some watching her with their creepy gazes until she wanted to cry. Finally, they began to drift away to do other things. Mommy was still talking, though, to an overweight man and a skeletal priest. She didn't recognize either of them, and she was starting to get the feeling that they were no longer talking about her.
She tried creeping closer to hear what they were saying, but just as she got within earshot, the heavy one gave a sharp nod and left.
"Are we going home?" she asked hopefully, ignoring the flat stare of the priest. She was still curious, but it would be much better to get out of here.
"Not yet."
Alessa sighed unhappily, sitting down on a rock. How could anyone live in a place like this? She had once gotten close enough to see the orphanage itself, and there were pictures of flowers and butterflies, badly drawn all over. Maybe they wanted Paradise as much as she and Claudia did, except that they were starting from even lower. It made her sad to think that they could live in such a gloomy place without anyone caring. She knew that the scary people probably liked it this way, but why didn't Mommy do anything about it?
She looked up when she heard footsteps, along with a tiny voice that asked, "H-hey, where are we going?"
The other man had come back, dragging with him a boy. They both looked confused, but the man didn't seem bothered by it. He looked like some sort of guard, but not the kind that brought justice. The boy kept trying to turn around and run back.
Mommy didn't seem to notice how scared he was. "Show me," she demanded, and she and the priest started to walk away.
Alessa jumped up. She didn't want to stay with the scary guard and the boy. "Wait!"
"Stay there, Alessa."
She sat back down, wanting to cry. She didn't know what was going on. She hoped it didn't have anything to do with her. Mommy always said that nothing scary would happen to her, but everything had seemed so much more secret lately.
"Don't run off, Robert, or you know what will happen," the guard said, releasing his grip on the boy and sitting against a large rock.
Alessa watched him. He had a mean face. Once, she had watched TV without Mommy knowing, and there had been a man who said people should shoot first and ask questions later. This one looked like he would shoot first and never care to ask the questions. She shivered and looked away.
She suddenly realized the boy was staring at her, so she frowned back at him. She certainly wasn't going to expect him to be nice. She had made that mistake when she went to school. She had hoped for at least one friend…
He was funny looking, with red hair that stood straight up and wide, blue eyes, but his face broke into a grin when he saw she had noticed him. She didn't smile back, suspecting that he was only mocking her, but he walked towards her anyway.
"I'm Bob," he said. "Are you going to live here?"
"No," she replied coolly. "I'm Alessa, and I'm here with Mommy."
"With Mommy?" He looked in the direction of the orphanage. "Oh, you're Miss Dahlia's daughter?"
"Yes."
"Do you know what she's gone to do?"
"No."
He seemed disappointed by that and fell silent. She hoped he would go away soon. Instead, though, he suddenly looked at her sharply.
"Wait, you're that Alessa? Alessa Gillespie?"
"Yes," she sighed unhappily.
"I read about you last week! Only, I couldn't say your name then, so I had to spend a while in the round cell, but now I know it really good! Gillespie. See?"
"Round cell?" she asked, frowning at him.
Bob blushed. With his red hair, it had an odd effect. "Yeah, but next time, I'll read well, so I won't have to go there. I'm usually good at it, really."
"But what is this round cell?"
"Well…you know, in the prison."
She didn't know. She almost dismissed his babbling as being nonsense and ignored him again, but she couldn't. He didn't seem mean, like the kids at school. He seemed more like Claudia. So, she pushed him for details on the prison. After several false starts, blushes, and nervous glances back at the guard, he told her all about a terrible place where the orphans were sent as punishment.
She listened to him in horror, and by the time he got to the part about the death chamber, she squeaked and covered her face. How could such a terrible place exist?
"Did I frighten you?" he asked, sounding embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I've never seen the death chamber, you know. I mean, it might not even be real…"
Alessa looked up at him, not knowing what to say. She wanted to tell him that once she told Mommy about these things, they wouldn't happen anymore, but she wasn't sure she believed that.
"In Paradise, things like this won't happen," she finally said.
He smiled. "If anyone knows, it would be you."
She stared at him. "Do you…really believe that? That I'm…that what they say about me is true?"
"Of course." There was nothing but sincerity in his voice. "We all do."
Hearing that reminded her of her isolation, and she glanced away as a stab of loneliness hit her heart. "Do you…have many friends?"
"Not really. It's not easy, here. I do have one friend, though," he said, brightening. "You should come play with us sometime!"
She blushed, feeling a confusing wave of emotions. No one had ever asked her to play with them before, other than Claudia. Bob was nice, but he had to be an exception. Even if Mommy would let her, the thought of trying to play with other kids again made her squirm.
"I couldn't…" She faltered and tried again. "I mean… You're nice to me, but…"
"He wouldn't be mean to you, Alessa! Come on. You can play hot lava with us!"
"Hot lava?" she repeated.
He nodded and suddenly jumped up, grabbing at a large tree branch near them and hanging from it. "The ground is lava! If you touch it, you're out!" He dropped back down and ducked behind the tree, whispering, "Or, we could be on the run from wild animals! Or we could be spies!"
She giggled, in spite of herself. Maybe the forest wasn't as scary as she had thought.
"Or maybe we're space rangers!" he shouted, darting from tree to tree in his excitement.
The guard stood up, frowning at Bob. He started to walk towards him as the boy guiltily stopped.
Alessa looked at each of their faces and jumped up. "Leave him alone," she ordered, giving the guard her best glare—the way she looked at the other kids when they made her feel scared.
Surprisingly, it worked. She wasn't sure why, and that bothered her a little. Was he afraid that she would tell Mommy if he did something bad?
The guard said, "I wasn't going to do anything," but she didn't believe him. He didn't sound sincere at all, and there was something cruel in his eyes.
Bob walked back to her, unexpectedly touching her shoulder. "Hey, thanks."
She frowned at him. She hadn't really done anything.
"He would have hit me. I guess he won't, in front of you."
She didn't know what to say. She could tell he was telling the truth, and she wished she could do something to the guard, to make sure he would never hurt anyone again. Just then, she heard footsteps, though. She looked up. Mommy was returning, alone, with a smile on her face.
"I'll probably have to go now," she said. "Well…bye…"
"Bye, Alessa."
She met Bob's gaze. "Maybe…maybe the next time I'm here, I can come find you and your friend. Then we can be space rangers and everything else, like you said."
He smiled.
Mommy reached them and took her hand, telling the guard, "I will be back tomorrow. Tell no one what I discussed today."
She started to pull Alessa away, but the guard called after them, "Miss Dahlia!"
"Yes?"
"What about him?" The guard had grabbed Bob's arm again. Alessa wanted to do something, but she could only hope that Mommy would see how mean he was being and stop him.
"He would be a problem. You know what to do." There was something cold in her voice, something that made Alessa want to pull free and run away. What was Mommy doing? "Oh, and Andrew?"
"Yes?"
"All wounds can heal, in time. See that they don't."
"Yes, Miss Dahlia."
Alessa waited until they had reached the car again before speaking. When she was safely inside, she whispered, "Mommy? What's going to happen to Bob?"
She hesitated for just a moment, but when she spoke, it was in a reassuring tone. "Nothing, my dear."
"Yes, Mommy."
She didn't believe her. She didn't know what Mommy's plans were, and she felt more scared about her role in them than ever, but there was one thing she was sure of. She would never play hot lava, or run from imaginary animals, or pretend to be spies or space rangers with Bob and his friend.
And she knew she wouldn't be the only one to never see Bob again.