Princess Peach Toadstool was a little scared.
Actually, she was terrified.
Considering she'd been kidnapped by a certain freaky-looking Koopa King asshole over a thousand times, she shouldn't be afraid of anything anymore.
It's not like she had to do anything dangerous. Her task was simple: Announce to the new smashers their roommates, as decided by Master Hand. It was only normal that he'd choose a dignified princess like Peach to take over the "mother" role of the group. And everyone just sort of accepted this. All of the players got along fine and took their shared bedrooms as an oppurtunity to make some new friends. Well, almost all.
Peach glared at the sheet of paper in her hand, willing it to change.
"Oh, mother of Toadsworth, why me?"
"O-Okay Ike.. I know you like to, ah, eat a lot.. But please, can you just, um, act polite for a moment?"
Ike paused his chomping and chewing to give the princess an "Are you shitting me?" look.
"Please! If you want to make a successful impression on your new roommate-"
"What's the point of acting like a pussy just to impress some stranger?"
"Well, I'm not saying-"
"And besides, if I don't act like myself, they won't know who they're really living with, right?"
Peach sighed in exasperation. This was going to be tough.
She walked out of the room and returned with a boy. Upon seeing Ike, his face went from sweet to absolutely disgusted.
"Um, Ike, if you could stop eating for two minutes, I'm here to let you know where your new room is, as well as announce your new roommate, Prince Marth of Altea."
Peach waited.
Coughed into her hand.
Waited some more.
Ike took one look at Marth, choked a little on his food, and bursted into laughter.