Forehead Wright, Ace Attorney
Case Log 8, Turnabout Hitler
It was a dark night. Cold. Windy. And a storm was blowing around outside the argyle window pane. Adolf Hitler sat in his chair by the window, mumbling to himself about his latest assault on the Jewish and all things Jew. "Adolf deary, are you coming to bed?" cooed Ms. April May from the other room, or rather, soon to be Ms. April Hitler. The dictator slowly stood, and began the short creep around the hallway. Then, a bright flash of lightning came through the window, and the shadow of the attacker was illuminated, outlined perfectly on the bedroom wall. "GASP!" cried Hitler with his last breath. And then came the rapid fire of the tommy guns.
Day one, investigation
Forehead Wright clambered down the stairs. "What's for breakfast, Maya, my beautiful woman-slave?" he inquired. "I told you, I am my own person, I paid you off for that shudder horrible thing….." she replied softly, " now come get your cereal before you beard gets cold. Oh, and Hitler was murdered. I can't see how that is important, us being a law firm and all." Forehead got in his dismal car and drove down the road. He had to stop by Ailene's Owl Emporium to get breakfast, seeing as Maya refuses to cook for her master. And besides, other than channeling large breasted women, she isn't really good for anything other than snotty and ridiculous comments. After a quick breakfast of owl bran and owl pellet oatmeal, he sped on down the highway at a record 3 and a 1/2 miles an hour to the detention center, through the cramped one-way streets of San Diego. He arrived at noon, and went in to see his client. After an apparently unnecessary strip search mandated by the homosexual guard, he went into the visitor's room. April May was buzzed in. "Oh! Mr. Wright!" she cried, boobs jiggling awkwardly, drawing the eyes of the defense attorney t her chest and forcing his face to go bright red. "please! Based on you limited trial experience, I want you to be my lawyer for no particular reason other than you smell like….. that obnoxious bell boy I like to flirt with, at the gatewater hotel which is so obviously a play on a certain hotel that was at the center of the Nixon scandal!" Forehead shifted uncomfortably in his plastic chair, eyes flickering back and forth from the clients face to her greatly distracting cleavage. "errr… well, I'll just get started on you case then…." He muttered softly as Ms. May puzzled over what he was looking at. He stopped by to see Maya scrubbing the toilet before he drove off to the Hitler Manor. He stepped inside. He closed the door. He took the stairs to the crime scene. He paused to ponder why I'm using short sentences. Finally, he arrived at the bedroom. The police were a buzz, but they never care that a defense attorney is illegally searching the area without even a permit. After careful investigation he came up with a list of evidence. A suspect, detective Dick Gumshoe. A discarded Tommy Gun, the obvious murder weapon and possibly mob connection. A shattered window, that could only be a shattered window. And lastly, a finger-lickin' good jar of Sasuke's mayonnaise, that had been cracked in several places and covered in the victim's blood. These were his weapons. And of course, the trial was tomorrow.