This is my very first time attempting a Scandal fic but after the premiere I had to writer it! It takes place before the premiere and may contain spoilers and is slightly AU.

Disclaimer: Nope don't own Scandal if I did James would still be alive and Joke would never touch Olivia again. Scandal and it's characters are owned by Shondaland

Meltdown

President Fitzgerald Grant the III pulled himself up off the floor and walked over to his desk plopping down in the chair. He ran his fingers through his thick curls sighing. The pictures on his desk were staring back at him. One of him and Mellie when he was being sworn in, a family portrait, a photo of his best friend with his late husband and their baby daughter, his goddaughter and one last picture he kept tucked in a drawer a photo of his true love sitting on the edge of the very desk he sat at smiling at the camera a smile she reserved just for him.

Fitz's bluish grey eyes watered as he pulled out the photo running his finger over her beautiful smiling face. He caught a glimpse of something else in the drawer a pill bottle, pain medication left over from his shooting. He stood up and walked over to the scotch pouring himself a glass he carried back to his desk sitting back down. He stared at the pill bottle with his name printed on it. His late father said it over and over he was a failure. Now he saw how true it was. He couldn't protect his son and the nation saw it, saw him fail as his boy collapsed in his arms. He couldn't protect his best friend again the nation witnessed his failure as he held his sobbing friend. Hell he failed Cyrus twice he should have let him smash Jake's head in.

The though of Jake made him think of another failure. He's so in love with her and yet he's hurt her. He still couldn't get over the way he yelled at her screaming he was talking to his wife. She was the best thing in his life and he chased her away.

Fitz made up his mind. He popped open the pill bottle emptying the contents into his palm. Just as he raised the pills to his mouth the door to the oval office opened.

"Fitz I" Mellie froze, blinking she moved closer to the desk she trembled a little when she saw the pills in his hand. "Fitz what are you doing" she asked

"I'm fine Mellie go take care of Karen and Teddy" he replied never making eye contact.

"Like hell you are, give me those" she reached for the pills in his hand but h shoved her away.

"My father was right Mellie I'm a failure!" he snapped "I've failed my family, my best friend, my country and worst of all, the woman I love!" he roared.

Mellie sighed at his last comment she knew Fitz cared about her but his heart belonged to Olivia and it was okay because while she cared for him her heart belonged to Andrew. "Fitz you haven't failed you didn't poison Jerry or shoot James"

"Jerry was my son it was my job to protect him! James he should have had secret service with him! Hell I couldn't even get elected president" he picked up his scotch taking a big sip.

She knew he meant Defiance "Okay so everything is far from perfect but what about the kids they just lost their big brother don't you dare take their father from them" she spoke in a stern voice.

Fitz laughs "If I'm even their father" he takes another sip of scotch "Now why don't you leave me alone go find Andrew" he muttered.

Mellie stomped out of the office but didn't go far she pulled out her cell phone dialing a number. "Look I know I'm the last person you wanted to hear from but he needs you" she spoke when she heard the familiar voice on the other end

She walked rapidly through the west wing to the oval office. She took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. Mellie was right he sat at his desk with a hand full of pills and his scotch. She walked into the office "Hi" she whispers blinking back tears.

Fitz looked up when he heard the small simple word that meant so much. "Livy" he whispers.

It broke Olivia's heart to see him this way. She moved to is desk "I'm here now Fitz" she gently takes the pills from his hand tossing them in the trash can beside the desk.

"I failed Liv" Fitz's eyes began to water. "I failed my son , Cy, the country an..and you" tears made their way down his handsome face.

She hated herself at that moment she never should have been on that plane with Jake she never loved him. Fitz is the man she loves, the man she dreams about having a future with. Raising a family in Vermont with. She actually owed Mellie for making her get off that plane

She set her hands on his face and looked into the beautiful bluish grey eyes she got lost in whenever they made love. "You haven't failed anyone Fitz you're a great man" she presses her lips to his kissing him tasting the scotch on his breath.

Fitz kisses back getting lost in the taste of her lips. He pulls away suddenly pulling her close burying his face in her neck breaking down in sobs.

"Shh its okay Livy's here" Olivia whispers holding him running her fingers through his thick curls. She sits there with him comforting him, giving him what ever he'll need from her to help him through this.

Mellie stood quietly in the doorway watching her husband being comforted by his girlfriend, the woman he truly loved. She felt a warm hand on her shoulder she turned seeing Andrew standing there. He wrapped her in his embrace leading her away from the office. She glanced back at her husband's office they'd be okay they both found comfort sure it wasn't with each other but maybe this was the way it was meant to be.

Author's Note Hello all this is my first attempt at a Scandal fic I am a gladiator but most of my fanfiction is about Rick and Kate on Castle. When I watched the premiere and they mentioned Fitz and him thinking about suicide this popped in my head. Mellie may be a little out of character but people in mourning act in different ways. I really miss James and while Scott Foley is a hottie I hate Jake! Team Olitz baby! Anyway I hope you guys enjoy this and please be kind with your reviews. Also I want to give a shout out to my bff a true gladiator who Beta read for me! Thankls Melanie! If you haven't checked out her Scandal fics what are you waiting fore go check them out she's RachGreenGeller!