AN: This is my very first attempt at a crossover fic of any kind. Though I have read many attempting to write one hadn't really occurred to me until now. Hopefully I've done it right and everyone enjoys it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bones or Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel. Or the song, Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones.
This story takes place during the S5 episode, "Death of the Queen Bee'.
The soft strum of a guitar and the slow opening notes of the ballad stopped Booth mid-step, his arms held awkwardly in front of him, hands still resting on Bones' waist after their dance.
"Booth? What's wrong?" Brennan queried, eyebrows drawn down slightly as concern creased her forehead. When he didn't answer, only continued to hold his silence, she asked again, louder. "What's wrong?"
Booth didn't hear her. Instead he was trapped in the maze and tangle of a memory he hadn't thought about in years.
The sultry voice of the leader singer of The Sundays spilled from the speakers of the gym, beginning the first verse of the old Rolling Stones classic, Wild Horses.
It swept him away, further and further into a moment in time that seemed as though it had happened a lifetime ago. And perhaps in a way it had. In a different gym, a different place, a different time. With a different girl. In a different life.
Buffy.
It was funny that for years after he had met her while still a vampire, he'd thought of her constantly. Especially after the disaster that was their romantic relationship. But in the years since he'd been granted his humanity, Booth hadn't really thought of the blonde Slayer as much. Now, with the memories of that one perfect night playing like a film strip in his mind, the ache of their doomed relationship blossomed like fire inside him, the pain as searing as it had been then.
He remembered the pale strapless lavender dress that shimmered when she moved and the scent of the perfume she wore that night, something light and floral, not too heavy.
He remembered the way their eyes had connected over and over as they danced, she tucked into his chest, his large hand curled around her smaller, not quite so delicate one.
He remembered the longing, the wish for things to be different between them. That there was no curse.
Now, all this time later, in a different life, in a different world, and with a new identity thanks to the Sanshu and the Powers, Booth almost laughed at the irony of this song playing here. Now when things between he and Brennan were so messed up after his foolish confession and proposal of more between them on the steps of the Hoover not more than a few weeks ago.
Not for the first time, he cursed the Powers and their sick and twisted sense of humor and ability to throw salt into an already festering wound whenever the fancy took them.
"Booth!"
He startled from his meanderings, struggling to bring his focus back to this moment, and not get any more tangled in his memories of that other life. Belatedly he realized that he and Bones had been standing still while everyone else was swaying gently as the song played.
Blinking he finally met Brennan's worried gaze and swallowed hard, trying to master his thumping heart and wayward thoughts and feelings. He gave Bones what he hoped was his charm smile, though it felt a bit wobbly around the edges before he spoke, grateful that his voice sounded normal. "Sorry Bones," he said, licking his lips in his nervousness, "This song, it just, uh, it reminded me of something I haven't thought about in a long time."
Boy was that an understatement, he thought wryly. Slipping his hands into hers he prodded her to move and sway with the music.
As they began to move, she tilted her head in that way she had when something made her curious; studying it, trying to tease out information that would help her understand. Booth saw the way her eyes seemed to shadow just a little, as if she was thinking or remembering something unpleasant. Then it was gone as quickly as it came and he wondered for a moment if he'd been imagining it.
A smile worked it's way onto her lips, though Booth could see that it didn't reach her eyes, as she asked quietly, "What were you remembering?" The timber of her voice and the slight catch at the end of the question told him that maybe he wasn't imagining the shadow over her eyes after all, that perhaps she had thought of something unpleasant. And he wanted desperately to know what had made the shadow and how to fix it, but held back, not wanting to address it if she hadn't brought it up, instead answering her question.
"Just remembering the last time I danced to this song. It was a long time ago. Like I said, I haven't thought about it in years, but as soon as the opening notes started it came rushing back. It kind of took me by surprise is all," he explained without getting into the details. Booth could only imagine what that conversation would be like.
Probably think me mad and send me off to a mental ward. Or think I had another brain tumor. Booth shivered slightly, remembering vividly when he'd had hallucinations thanks to the tumor in his head. How it had frightened him and reminded him eerily of when the First had nearly driven him mad with nightmares and a shade in the form of Giles' girlfriend that he had murdered while Angelus had been in control once more. How they had almost driven him to suicide by sunrise.
Until Buffy had come and then, that freak snowfall. Saving him.
Shaking himself, Booth pushed the thoughts away, forcing himself to focus on the here and now, trying not to get lost in that tangled web of horrible memories again.
Brennan was still looking at him with concern when he lifted his eyes back to her. He could almost see the questions swirling around in that genius brain of hers. Not wanting to get into a discussion about things that he knew he'd have to lie about, knowing she'd never be able to handle the true nature of who he had once been, Booth gave her another smile, this one feeling a bit more genuine than the last one.
"Don't worry about me, Bones. It's fine. It was a long time ago now, and anyway it's in the past."
She eyed him speculatively, trying to decide if she should push further. There must have been something in his face, maybe his eyes, that stilled the words, because she gave a small nod before slipping from his grasp as the song ended.
Silence surrounded them, even as a babble of talk filled in around them as people walked off the dance floor towards the tables laden with food and drink. Their eyes caught again, an entire conversation passing between them in the space of a few blinks of the eye, before a smile stretched across Brennan's mouth and she asked, "Do you want a drink?"
Booth matched her smile, relieved for now that she was done asking any probing questions, "Sure," he told her.
As he watched her weave her way through the scattered tables, Booth let go of a long breath. Now that he'd thought of that night again, after so much time gone by and so much happening after it, Booth wondered briefly why this setting hadn't triggered the memories sooner. Possibly he could put it down to having been so focused on the case and on the issues between he and Brennan, that he hadn't really had time to stop and think of much else.
And it raised those hairy questions to his mind that he'd thought about and pushed aside since he'd woken up from his coma dream and realized that he was in love with his partner. If they became more, should he tell her about his past as a vampire?
He still didn't know. It both scared and angered him that now that he could actually live a normal life, his vampiric past still haunted him, casting a shadow over this life he had now.
Shaking his head at himself, Booth ran a hand through his hair, just as Brennan returned with two paper cups in her hands full of punch. He felt his heart flutter at the sight of her all over again and even though he was still hurt and angry with her over her rejection, he still loved her. Still hoped for a chance to be with her.
Taking his cup from her, he sipped it slowly saying quietly, "Thanks, Bones."
She nodded in return as she looked out at the couples who had wandered back out onto the dance floor, moving and swaying to the beat of the song spilling over them.
Booth continued to watch her out of his peripheral vision as two lines of lyrics drifted into his mind and he thought, Someday. Someday I hope we can.
Wild horses, couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them someday
So what did you think? Please let me know by writing a few words in the lovely box there. Much appreciated.
Also many many thanks to DGSchneider for reading and reading again and for dealing with my worry over things like wording and writing this at all and then encouraging me to post it. You are a saint my friend. If you haven't checked out her writing yet you should. Especially the stories 'Need' and her current story,"Just Mistletoe, Totally Sexless'.
