This is my first time…be gentle ;P

The story is just my attempt to make Hisoka happy. I love him, I really do, and I can't stand the thought of him being so abused. Plus, there were just so many fun scenarios to be had by putting his 'mother' into his work life. Neina is basically an extension of myself, and yet an amalgam of the rest of the cast. She's fun to write for and I hope you'll have fun reading about her and think she's a good mom to Hisoka.

Tabula Rasa: (n.) A young mind not yet affected by experience (according to John Locke) or a chance to start over without prejudice. I've been hearing this phrase a lot lately and only just looked it up. I think it makes a pretty accurate title for this fic.

Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei is not mine, it is Yoko Matsushita's. But this plot and any original characters are mine, so don't touch'em without my permission, please.

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There was something very wrong. He felt…small. Even smaller than he sometimes did at work, surrounded by his older co-workers. And his body wasn't responding to him, not the way it should. His arms and legs were…for lack of a better word, pudgy. He was trying to open his eyes and find out what the hell was going on, but he couldn't. It was like it wasn't his body at all. Was his stuck in another person's dream again?

He started when something brushed against his face. An involuntary groan escaped his throat and his pudgy arm awkwardly went up against his will to bat the thing away. A disembodied laugh reverberated from somewhere above. The whatever-it-was was back, now swiping all over his face, brushing against his nose and tickling under his chin. He whined, to his slight embarrassment, and reached out to catch the offending object in a firm grip. Another laugh washed over him and he finally felt the emotions that had been flitting through the air clearly.

Amusement, pleasure, and…something else. It was hard to describe, but he liked the feeling. He wanted to know what it was called. His hand involuntarily yanked and a small gasp came from that distant place above.

"Itai! Soka-chan, that hurts." That caused him to take a step back mentally. Only Tsuzuki called him 'Soka-chan', much to his chagrin. But this voice was not Tsuzuki's. Tsuzuki's voice was deep, despite his childish disposition. This voice was gentle had an almost musical quality to it, like a woman's. "I'm sorry I woke you, but that's no reason to try and take my hair hostage," the voice continued, still tender and quiet. Hisoka felt gentle fingers push his prize from his grasp, and then one slipped in to replace it. "There. I am now your willing captive, Soka-chan. You're so strong for someone so small."

Finally his eyes opened. His first sight was of sunlight filtering through the green branches of a tree. Blinking, he rolled his head to the side and was greeted by the mystery person's silhouette. Her back was to the low hanging sun, giving her an almost ethereal golden glow and casting her face in shadow. The end of a long golden braid was in her free hand and the shadows of her face shifted into a mischievous smile. Once again his face was assaulted by the frayed end of the braid and he surprised himself by smiling as he turned his face away. The laugh rang out once again, deeper than he expected from the musical tone. The tickling had ceased and now the hand was moving his wispy bangs away from his face.

"My Hisoka," the figure said. "My baby boy." Staring at the silhouette he wished he knew why the figure was smiling at him. At least it looked like she was smiling; it was hard to tell in the shadows. But the small creases and dancing pin-pricks of light in her eyes gave the impression of a smile.

Either the sun or the mystery woman shifted because suddenly he was blinded by light and had the sudden sensation he was falling through the air with nothing there to catch him.

Hisoka opened his eyes to find he was alone in his bed. He was himself again, thin and lanky instead of small and pudgy. Sitting up, he sighed and rested his head on his upraised knees. It wasn't he first time he had had that dream. Quite the contrary, it visited him at least once a month, sometimes more, for a few years now. It was a welcome reprieve from his usual visions of red moons and grey eyes infected with bloodlust. But never once had he seen the mystery woman's face and left him feeling empty afterwards.

From the way she talked you would think she was his mother. But he knew that couldn't be. Though not part of that limited section of his mind called "Happy Memories", he could recall his mother's face quite well. Stern was a good word for it. Sometimes cold. On particularly bad days enraged was a good one too. Never happy, not since he'd grown and revealed how 'unique' he truly was. And always framed in dark tresses like ebony vines, choking her as much as her frigidity.

Looking at his alarm clock, he decided there was no point in trying to get anymore sleep and got ready for work. Since he was a little early he teleported to just outside the Bureau and stared at the cherry trees forever in bloom. When he first came he hated the trees because they reminded him of that night. Now he decided they were just trees and had even begrudgingly accepted they were beautiful.

His vision suddenly flashed from the bright pink blossom orchard to a darkened forest, focusing on one tree in particular. And just as suddenly as the vision came it receded and he was where he had started. He rubbed his eyes and stood in confusion for a good five minutes. What the hell was that?

"Hisoka!" That was all the warning he had before he was tackled in a bear hug by his partner. They would have ended up on the ground if Tsuzuki hadn't pulled back and righted them both without letting go of his grip on the younger boy's shoulders.

"Damn it, Tsuzuki, get off! Are you trying to kill me!"

"But Hisoka, we're already—"

"If you want to keep your candy stash that you hide in the second drawer of our filing cabinet, you will not finish that sentence."

An inu-fied (I made a new word, go me :D) Tsuzuki recoiled as if bitten and stared at Hisoka with tears in his eyes. "How did you know about that, Hisoka? I never told anyone."

"How could I not, you leave the wrappers all over the floor for me to pick up."

"I'm sorry…" Hisoka sighed and shook his head. Honestly, that idiot really knew how to turn up the pity factor, especially when his puppy ears drooped like that.

"Never mind, it's okay. Let's just get inside before Tatsumi notices we aren't in our office yet.

"Okay, Soka-chan!"

"Don't call me that…" Hisoka muttered. When he blinked he saw that silhouetted outlined against the sun. He shook his head minutely, trying to send the image away. With Tsuzuki chattering away next to him, it was no wonder he only barely heard a whispery voice in his ear.

'Hisoka…I'm waiting. Please come and find me soon. Please…'

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Tatsumi visited their office a little after lunch to inform them of a new mission. In the briefing room, Hisoka did his best to focus on what Tatsumi and the Chief were saying rather than silhouettes and whispery voices.

"It's a simple mission. Mr. Tsuruga hasn't shown up to be judged. And for once we know exactly where he is." Tatsumi handed Tsuzuki a piece of paper with an address written on it. "Evidently he's just a little disoriented, so he's been walking around his neighborhood since his death from heart failure yesterday morning. But as a ghost, he's causing a few problems, especially with electrical equipment. So, just go pick him up and bring him pack, simple as that."

From experience, both Hisoka and Tsuzuki knew that things were never 'simple as that'. In light of Tatsumi's apparent good humor about the whole thing, however, they decided to just do as they were instructed and left immediately for the neighborhood in the west side of Kyushu.

"Okay, I look through the west side, you look through the east," Hisoka said, pointing in each direction to clarify.

"Right. First one to see Mr. Tsuruga contacts the other. And then we can get ice-cream!"

"And then we send him back to the bureau," Hisoka corrected, leaving no room for argument.

"Fine, then we take him back to the bureau. And then we get ice-cream!"

Hisoka rolled his eyes and walked away, determined not to dignify the sheer childish glee with a response. When his back was turned to the older shinigami, he allowed a small smile to grace his lips before squashing it viciously and focusing on his mission.

For once, everything was 'as simple as that'. They found Mr. Tsuruga, a seventy something retired investment banker, wandering near his daughter's house. He seemed to know he was dead and was just saying good-bye to her. He went quietly with no apparent regrets.

It was as they were flying away that it hit him. A sudden burst of pain in his chest and his head that caused him to drop a few feet. It felt like someone had shot and arrow through both with deadly accuracy. "Hisoka!" Tsuzuki was by his side in an instant, his hand on Hisoka's back as if to steady him in thin air. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I—" A hammer drove both arrows deeper and he gasped as the pain surged back through him. He almost dropped again but Tsuzuki caught him and held him close to his chest.

Hisoka…Hisoka…Hisoka…I'm here…I'm here, Hisoka…find me…

That voice again. His vision was clouded over with pain and what felt like something breaking through his carefully erected barriers. 'Where? Where? Are you?' He half thought half uttered. Tsuzuki in the meantime was growing more and more worried about his younger partner and was about to teleport them back to Meifu right away.

Here…A vision of an old forest flashed through his mind, a place he had never seen before in his life. It expanded backward and flew across scenery until he saw what was already before him. And just like that the pain evaporated. His barriers were back in place as if nothing had ever happened.

"Hisoka…are you alright?" The younger shinigami took a few deep breaths and nodded.

"Tsuzuki, I have to go. Please don't ask, I'm sorry!" With that he disengaged himself from his partner and flew as fast as he could towards where his strange vision originated. He heard Tsuzuki call out for him but continued flying as fast as he could. He could sense he was being followed, but didn't stop to yell at his pursuer. The voice had stopped, the pain had stopped, but he was determined to make sure that they didn't come back and find out what kind of twisted game someone was trying to play with his mind.

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Tsuzuki didn't understand what had just happened. One moment Hisoka was fine and the next he was about to plummet to the earth. As high as they were even a shinigami would've been seriously injured, possibly killed. So he had caught him and held him as close as he could without hurting the boy. Admittedly, he cherished the feeling of holding him close, feeling that slender frame pressed against him. But hadn't had time to focus on it when Hisoka began mumbling to himself.

When he wrenched himself away and flew off, his worry doubled. Had it been something he'd said? Done? What set the boy off? He flew off after him with barely a second thought, determined to make it up to him, whatever he had done.

They flew for what felt like hours before Hisoka landed on the verge of a forest as the sun began to set, looking hesitant for a brief moment. As Tsuzuki landed, he took off under the canopy of trees. "Hisoka, wait! What's wrong!"

Hisoka didn't listen. He'd seen this forest before, in that vision this morning at the bureau's entrance. But it had focused on a specific tree, large and old with many forking branches. It seemed stupid to try and find one specific tree in a forest, but he knew if he did he'd find out what was tormenting him this entire day.

All the trees were blending together, until he happened to trip over one exposed root. Pushing himself up, he raised his head and his harsh breathing stopped. In front of him was the tree. The exact tree he had seen this morning, real and solid. Standing, he walked over, looking at it critically like an art dealer in a gallery.

"What's so special about this stupid tree? Why am I supposed to be here?" He waited…and waited…and waited. Nothing happened. Growling in frustration, he kicked the tree. "What the hell do you want from me!" he yelled.

The tree suddenly lit up, bright as the moon. Gasping, he stumbled back and fell once again, this time on his rear. The tree's bark turned from a dull earthy brown to silver, the leaves glistening like thousands of radiant emeralds. The light was so intense that he threw up his arm to shield his eyes. He watched, transfixed and awed, as a hand gracefully stemmed from the tree. Then another hand. Both hands planted themselves against the trees trunk and pushed.

From the inner recesses of the tree came a woman. Her long hair was the color of snow: the purest white imaginable. It made the paleness of her skin even more striking. Delicate feet extended from the trunk to touch like a puff of air on the ground. Her arms dropped to her side and there they remained, limp and tired. Slowly her eyes opened to reveal golden irises, pupils slit like a predator's. Her head slowly turned down and she stared at him with those otherworldly eyes.

Now, if she had not made such a dramatic entrance, the first thing Hisoka would've notice was that she had no clothes. He only belatedly noticed this as she fell forward and landed with her head on his right shoulder. Immediately he tensed, not only from having an unclad woman pass out into his arms, but for the onslaught of emotions…which he did not feel. Opening his eyes, he saw just as the light was fading that her hair had turn a honey-gold color in a matter of seconds. Her breath was gently stirring an arrant strand that was just in front of her face. It looked as if she were sleeping.

'She's breathing, so she must be alive…why can't I sense anything from her?'

There were loud crashing sounds somewhere behind him and he turned his head to see Tsuzuki making his way haphazardly through the undergrowth towards him. "Hisoka! What's going on! First you fly off with out a real explanation, then run into a forest, and what was with that bright light! I thought that you'd finally…" Tsuzuki never finished that rant. It was then that he noticed the nude young woman in his partner's arms and Hisoka winced visibly. This was not good. Not only had Tsuzuki walked up on Hisoka holding a woman in a precarious position, which made him feel strangely guilty, but the amethyst eyed shinigami was completely silent and still. This was a rare and wondrous sight to behold, which could only herald the coming apocalypse. Then….

"WHO IN THE HELL IS THAT!" he screamed, pointing an accusing finger at the unconscious girl. The birds nesting in the trees above flew away in all directions at that yell. Hisoka huffed, a little annoyed, and looked at the girls face.

"I wish I knew…"

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In the infirmary Watari was busy checking monitors and readings and fussing over the state of his newly acquired resident. She hadn't awoken since Hisoka and Tsuzuki brought her in, wrapped in Tsuzuki's black trench coat, with the crazy story of her having come out of a tree.

"Let me get this straight," Tatsumi said when they finished. "I sent you out retrieve one lost soul, and you come back with an unconscious woman who fell out of a sycamore?"

"I think it was an oak, actually," Tsuzuki supplied without thinking.

"I don't care if it was a thousand-year-old redwood! Why in the world were you even over there, it's no where near Kyushu?"

"It was my fault." Everyone in the room, save for the unconscious woman in the bed, turned to look at Hisoka, who up till then had been silent. "I was…drawn there. I think she was calling me, for help." 'And she knew my name,' he silently added.

Tatsumi adjusted his glasses and sighed. "I'm not saying it was anyone's fault. I'm just a little worried that we have a complete stranger in the Bureau, that's all. I mean, she came out of a tree! Who's to say she's not some sort of demon."

A few moments passed in silence in which the men stared at the woman laid out on the white starched sheets. Her long golden hair was fanned out around her like pools of silk chord. Skin pale but with a healthy glow to it stretched across a round Alsatian features. She looked like a portrait of sleeping beauty before the prince came to kiss her.

Finally Hisoka rose up and stretched. "I'm going to get something to drink. Anyone else want something."

"Coffee for me please, Bon," Watari piped. Tatsumi waved his hand to decline and Tsuzuki shook his head. When he left there was silence for all of five seconds before Watari said, "Doesn't she look familiar?" Tatsumi and Tsuzuki tilted their heads in question. "I mean, doesn't feel like you've seen her face somewhere before?"

Tsuzuki crossed his arms and sniffed. "No, and who cares? She probably is some tree-dwelling she demon anyway."

Tatsumi raised his eyebrows at his former partner. "That's an unusually harsh comment towards a total stranger from you, Tsuzuki-san."

"What? You said so yourself we don't who or what she is."

Watari sniggered and covered his smile with his hand. "I think I get it. You're jealous this lady got naked and cozy with Bon before you could."

Tsuzuki's face turned almost as red as Hisoka's would have if he'd heard that. "Wha-I-n-no, it's not like that!"

"Suuuure it isn't," Watari smirked.

"Sh-shut up!"

"Why? I'm only agreeing with you." The tone of his voice belied that remark.

Before anyone could say another word there was a very audible groan from the bed. They all turned to the blond woman to see her eyes just beginning to open. They were a stunning glass-green color, almost like the bottles that soda used to come in. She blinked wearily several times before sitting up. She clutched the sheet close to her, wrapping it around her thin form like armor. She looked at each of them, confusion and wariness growing with each new pair of eyes she met.

"Where…where am I?" she croaked. Her voice was sand paper over dry wood and she coughed dryly when it was all out. Watari immediately poured her a glass of water which she drank like it was ambrosia.

"You're in our bureau's infirmary. Two of our men found you and brought you in. My name is Tatsumi Seichirou, this is Watari Yutaka, and Tsuzuki Asato." She nodded to each of them in turn, the glass never leaving her mouth until every drop was gone. When the glass was put down Watari immediately filled it again with a smile. The woman looked surprised but smiled warmly in return. "There is also one other who will join us again soon, Kuro—"

As if on cue, Hisoka returned from the break room with a mug of tea for himself and a mug of coffee for Watari. He stopped just inside the doorway when he realized that all eyes were on him, including one unfamiliar pair.

The woman's breath stopped. Her back was rigid and her eyes were wide in disbelief. She swung her feet off the bed and stood, or tried to, as the mechanics of standing were temporarily eluding her from not having been applied in a long time. Straightening, she walked as carefully as she could over to the young boy, much to the confusion of everyone else in the room. The sheet was still tightly wrapped around her like a toga, but she reached out one delicate hand towards him. Hisoka flinched away but her hand insistently moved some of his wheat-gold bangs away from emerald orbs.

He felt nothing. Not emotions or thoughts were leaking from her to him, though it was obvious she was experiencing something right now. She blinked tilting her head to the side in a familiar fashion before she began to cry with a smile on her face. "Hisoka…"she breathed. Moving her hand to grasp his shoulder she flung him forward into a heartfelt embrace. The suddenness of this caused Hisoka to drop both mugs to the ground in surprise and several utterances of "Huh!" "What the!" and the like from the men.

Tsuzuki was the first to react, propelling himself forward and separating the two blonds forcefully. He was breathing hard and looked as frazzled as he did when The Count was making advances on him. Possibly even more than that with the way his voice had raised several octaves.

"Okay, you! What do you think gives you the right to hug Hisoka like that, huh!" 'Only I get to do that!' Hisoka of course heard that through his empathy, what with Tsuzuki's shields being down from surprise, and turned a shade redder than he already was.

The woman stood in shock for a moment, large watery green eyes even wider and mouth agape, before regaining her composure and narrowing her eyes at the amethyst eyed man. "What gives you the right to think I can't?" she countered. Her Japanese was flawless and her tone was full of authority like Tatsumi's was around budget time.

"Because…! Because…well…" he faltered. She arched one of delicate eyebrows expectantly before sighing and pushing past him.

"For your information," she began as she took her place by Hisoka and hugged him to her again. "I'm his mother."

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Yay, I finished chapter 1 (applause please) ! So, whatcha think? It'll make more sense later, I promise.