Title: Blah-blah-blah
Author: Pthah/dinnchik
Beta: LaraMee
Fandom: Leverage
Rating: G
Genre: Humor
Pairing: Eliot, Hardison
A/N: I'm afraid people that people won't find those reference to Doctor Who funny, but I'm taking the risk.
Disclaimer: Not mine, alas.
"Blah blah blah," Eliot was telling something important Hardison could tell, but as usual it was hard to concentrate on somebody's words while cracking this particular code.
"And I kinda hoped you'd help me to disintegrate this," Eliot finished then turned and headed to the kitchen.
"Wait," Hardison forgot what he was doing.
"What?" Eliot stopped abruptly and turned around.
"What? Did I just say it aloud?" Hardison surprised himself.
"Could you please repeat what you've just said?" He said.
"Are you asking me to repeat myself?" Eliot narrowed his eyes and tilted his head to the left.
"Kinda…" Hardison closed his laptop and put it aside.
"You haven't heard me? You haven't been listening to me!" Eliot hissed.
"I HAVE been listening to you, I'm just not sure I've heard you right…" Hardison sprang to his feet.
"Are you saying I'm mumbling? Do I have any articulation problems? Am I talking too slow or too soft?" Eliot took a step towards Hardison.
"No-no, dude, you speak just perfectly.." Alec put up his hands protectively and stepped back. "Just magnificently for the guy who.. umm…"
"For the guy who what? Gets hit on the head a lot? Possibly has no higher education? How would you know? Maybe I went to college?" Eliot was getting louder as his control was slipping.
"Chill, man, just chill. I meant for the guy who doesn't talk much" To himself, Hardison admonished, 'Can you say something appropriate? You are smart, aren't you?'
"Well for the guy who talks as much as you do my NORMAL volume of conversations can seem kinda little!"
Eliot had that glint in his eye that Hardison found frightening.
"Yeah – yeah. You're right Eliot. I talk too much..."
Eliot growled something indistinctly, turned and went to kitchen.
"So?" Hardison stopped him again while his inner voice of self-preservation was shouting his inner head off: 'You are nuts! You're crazy! You just won't stop angering the man, right?'
Eliot froze. Hardison took a deep breath and began explaining: "I thought I heard you using the word common people don't usually use in their…" suddenly Eliot was hovering over the unfortunate Hacker.
It crossed Hardison's mind that Eliot was shorter than he. How did the man manage to hover?
His thoughts were derailed when he saw that the corner of Eliot eye had started twitching. You could only see that only from aclose distance. And Eliot was very close; Hardison could hear and feel him breathe. And the eye kept twitching faster and faster. Those who were the witnesses of Eliot's rage and still were there to tell could tell that Eliot's twitching eye meant somebody's pain.
"Are you telling me only nerds can use this kind of word?" There was a restrained rage in his voice.
Hardison shook his head furiously "Of course not!"
"Are you telling me I am a nerd? Are you telling me I am NOT a nerd?" -
Eliot was pointing his finger in Hardison face now.
'At least he's not poking it in my eye…' "Are you listening?" 'Yet.'
"You got my attention totally on this point" Hacker assured furious Hitter.
"Are you telling me this kind of words was not previously existent in English so cannot be used in any other situation except your Doctor Who situations?"
'Huh? Have I ever told him about it? May be he's seen Torchwood?' Hardison shook himself awake from another boutof daydreaming.
"You're not listening again!"
'Here comes the pain!' - Hardison's internal dialogue continued. "I'm sorry man! I won't do it again! I swear! You just can be so scary sometimes it is hard to even concentrate on breathing!" Obviously that was the right choice of words this time.
"Hm?" Eliot was amused. "Ok." He said, stepping away. "Next time, listen, or you'll have to concentrate on breathing because of the fist in your solar plexus."
"Yeah man, I hear you… Now, you actually asked me to help you with something?"
"No!" Eliot turned away and finally, or so he thought, headed to the kitchen.
"I can help! Really!" Hardison shouted after Eliot.
"Not now, I'm still angry. Just leave me alone for a while, okay?" Eliot entered the kitchen, and his voice became a little bit muffled.
"I understand," Hardison sighed with relief.
"Good of you to listen!" Hacker could hardly hear Hitter's voice over the sound of something being chopped. "Or I'll definitely exterminate you!"
Hardison managed to blink and do a double take at the same time: "Ahm.. Here we go again… Eliot…" he said in a weak voice as he headed toward the kitchen.
"Did you just…"
'You are so dead!' His inner voice of self-preservation said. 'I'm out of here!'
Happy End