Chapter 1
Raiden comes in the house with a hand full of envelopes and looks at them all. He then gets an angry look on his face and rips them all up. Solidus, wearing his tentacle combat armor, comes out of his bedroom and notices Raiden ripping up the envelopes.
Solidus: What's wrong, Jack the Ripper?
Raiden: Damn government thinks they own ME! After what I did to save the free world, THIS is how they repay me?!?
Solidus picks up a shred of an envelope and sees that it is an electric bill.
Solidus: For Christ's sake, Jack, I was President and I still gotta pay my bills! What a bitch!
Raiden: Easy for you to say. You're a rich guy with lots of money.
Solidus: What happened to that pizza delivery job?
Raiden: Oh yeah, um, about that. . . Dad, can I borrow $20?
Solidus: (looks suspicious) What for?
Raiden: Well, I smelled a funny smell on the way to this house I was delivering to, right? Then all of a sudden, I got real hungry and I ate all the pizza. The manager says he'll kill Olga's child if I don't pay.
Solidus: (groans) Well, Jack the Tripper, this is the last time I'm bailing your ass out of trouble for a long time, you hear me?
Raiden: (gleefully) Thanks, Pop. I'll pay you back as soon as I can.
Solidus: You said that $40000 ago. First, it was a battery for Fortune's rail gun, then a magnetic pocket protector thingy for yourself, now this. (sighs) Seriously, Jack, have you read the paper lately?
Raiden: Paper?
Solidus: Yeah. (grabs newspaper, flips it to classifieds) They're looking for a stripper at this new gay bar, called The Big Fatty Erection. I hear it's pretty popular.
Raiden: (looks disappointed) Well, OK, I guess if it can get me the money. But please don't tell any of the guys. I don't think I'd be able to live it down.
Solidus: (evil grin on his face) Oh no, son, I won't. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Raiden: What's so funny?
Solidus: Not a thing. . . Jack The Stripper!
Raiden comes in the house with a hand full of envelopes and looks at them all. He then gets an angry look on his face and rips them all up. Solidus, wearing his tentacle combat armor, comes out of his bedroom and notices Raiden ripping up the envelopes.
Solidus: What's wrong, Jack the Ripper?
Raiden: Damn government thinks they own ME! After what I did to save the free world, THIS is how they repay me?!?
Solidus picks up a shred of an envelope and sees that it is an electric bill.
Solidus: For Christ's sake, Jack, I was President and I still gotta pay my bills! What a bitch!
Raiden: Easy for you to say. You're a rich guy with lots of money.
Solidus: What happened to that pizza delivery job?
Raiden: Oh yeah, um, about that. . . Dad, can I borrow $20?
Solidus: (looks suspicious) What for?
Raiden: Well, I smelled a funny smell on the way to this house I was delivering to, right? Then all of a sudden, I got real hungry and I ate all the pizza. The manager says he'll kill Olga's child if I don't pay.
Solidus: (groans) Well, Jack the Tripper, this is the last time I'm bailing your ass out of trouble for a long time, you hear me?
Raiden: (gleefully) Thanks, Pop. I'll pay you back as soon as I can.
Solidus: You said that $40000 ago. First, it was a battery for Fortune's rail gun, then a magnetic pocket protector thingy for yourself, now this. (sighs) Seriously, Jack, have you read the paper lately?
Raiden: Paper?
Solidus: Yeah. (grabs newspaper, flips it to classifieds) They're looking for a stripper at this new gay bar, called The Big Fatty Erection. I hear it's pretty popular.
Raiden: (looks disappointed) Well, OK, I guess if it can get me the money. But please don't tell any of the guys. I don't think I'd be able to live it down.
Solidus: (evil grin on his face) Oh no, son, I won't. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Raiden: What's so funny?
Solidus: Not a thing. . . Jack The Stripper!