Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I make no profit from writing this story.
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke have a little spat over each other's hair.
A/N: This thingy was my sister's idea, after a weird conversation with her, my bestie, and me. It had to do with Sasuke's hair, which kinda looks like a dick's butt when you look at the back. And 'cause Naruto always fumes about it. XD It's a ridiculous one-shot where Sasuke isn't as articulate as usual, meaning he starts stuttering over his words. I guess you could label this thing as 'crack', more or less. It's dedicated to my sister, Tanya, and my bestie, Magical Angel.
M/A: That was a fun night!! Right before you had to go to class we discussed this idea. We might be 19 now FINALLY!! But we still act like we're 12!!
P.S. This is pre-time skip, before Sasuke decides to be an even bigger jackass than usual.
Enjoy.
Naruto glared heatedly at the dark haired boy standing directly in front of him, face-to-face, and the dark hair that haunted his dreams every night, and not in a good way. Honestly, the back of Sasuke's head looked like a fucking duck's ass! Was that on purpose, or did Sasuke really spend hours a day with gel smeared over his fingers to get it to stick up like that? Asking the bastard anything along those lines would most likely get himself smacked by Sakura, so he wisely kept his mouth shut.
The dark eyes currently glaring pure death at him didn't help his mood one bit.
"What the hell are you glaring at, usuratonkachi?" Sasuke asked in a not-so-pleasant voice, promising bloody, violent death on his blonde teammate for even attempting to out-glare him. Lately that's all the moron had been doing, just glaring at him for no reason. It was really starting to grate on Sasuke's nerves to the point where he wanted to shove his fist down the whiskered boy's throat. Such animosity was not good between two people of the same team. Kakashi told them that every single day.
Naruto puffed out his cheeks in his irritation, giving Sasuke the impression that his teammate was trying to make himself look like a blowfish. Well, he was succeeding. A smirk lifted a corner of Sasuke's mouth as he finally got a chance to play his favorite game: Bother Naruto Until The Blonde Exploded.
Naruto bit his tongue, trying not to blurt out that Sasuke's hair looked like a duck's ass. It was so tempting, especially with the raven-haired boy smirking at him all haughtily. Bastard. They were staying at an inn somewhere in leaf country, locked up in a room together because they couldn't stop arguing for even one second. Kakashi had decided this course of action was best when the two boys started to throw punches at one another. The Jounin figured letting them get it out of their systems was the best thing he could do for their mission. Teamwork was very important to finish a mission successfully.
Sasuke finally looked away from him, and Naruto felt his need to ask Sasuke about his hair increased tenfold as said peace of hair was presented to him. Really, though, how did he do it?
"I know you're still staring at me. What's your problem?" Sasuke asked, lifting a delicate eyebrow in question. Naruto muttered something under his breath, which only caused the brunette lean forward to listen. "What'd you say, dobe?" The Uchiha drawled, smirking when Naruto's cheeks flushed with anger. He was completely unprepared for Naruto's sudden outburst.
"YOUR HAIR LOOKS LIKE A DUCK'S ASS!"
"My…what?" Sasuke blinked, self consciously lifting his hand to smooth back the unkempt spikes on the back of his head. He scowled at the look on Naruto's face. Yes, the idiot had just said his hair looked like a duck's ass. "What the hell are you talking about, usuratonkachi? My hair is perfectly fine!" The brunette snapped, forgetting to keep his voice at its usual stoic level.
"Nobody else's hair spikes up in the back! I'm telling you, it looks like a duck's ass!"
"Like yours is any better? It sticks up all over the place!"
Naruto growled, launching himself at the taller boy and grabbing fistfuls of silky, dark hair. Sasuke hissed at the tug on his scalp, and retaliated by grabbing fistfuls of Naruto's hair. They both tugged hard at the same time, hissed at the same time, then tugged harder at the same time. Sasuke was slowly being pushed backwards as Naruto leaned forwards, and soon he came crashing to the ground with the blonde's weight settled over his stomach.
"Duck's ass!" Naruto yelled at Sasuke's face, moving one hand to the back of Sasuke's hair, smoothing it down the spikes as his teammate tugged his head closer, then further away, and closer again. The blonde was surprised that Sasuke's hair was smooth even back there, where the spikes defied gravity and stood straight out. He didn't use any kind of hair product.
"Stupid…" Sasuke hissed, trying to come up with something to call his blonde teammate's hair. Even though it spiked up everywhere, it was still as soft as anyone else's hair. To say he was surprised was an understatement. "Stupid dobe!' The brunette finally settled on, yanking Naruto's head closer and hissing again as Naruto fisted back in his hair.
That was how Sakura found them a few minutes later, sprawled on the floor, Naruto on top of her dearest Sasuke-kun. Their fingers were tangled in each other's hair, and their cheeks were dusted with a light blush. When both boys noticed her in the doorway, they swore colorfully as they broke apart. Sasuke just shoved his hands into his pockets, while Naruto tried to explain that what they were doing wasn't what the pink haired girl was thinking.
"I know what I saw!" Sakura yelled, before turning back around and walking stiffly towards her room. Naruto rubbed the back of his neck nervously, before glancing at Sasuke then the spikes at the back of his head.
'This is your fault', he thought savagely, as he stuffed his hands into his own pockets and left the room to go and explain things to Sakura. Behind the blonde, Sasuke brushed his hand against the back of his head, feeling the spikes there bounce back into place as soon as his hand passed over them. Naruto had a knack for making him lose his cool, the idiot.
He smirked as he followed his teammate from the room, coming up with ways to get him back later.
Owari
A/N: Ha ha ha. Wow, that was messed up. I should've made 'em kiss, too. /shrugs/ Oh, well, I guess. Hey, drop me a review, please? Tell me how retarded I am. And seriously, my duck wants to know, 'cause Sasuke stole his tail. XD