Fortune Cookie Fiasco (1987)

Amanda was alone in the Q-Bureau putting the finishing touches on the weekly field report. Once it was finished and turned in to Billy, she and Lee would be free for the weekend. Lee had called to say he was on his way and that he would be there in ten minutes. A half hour had gone by and still no sign of Lee. Amanda was just about to call down to Mrs. Marsten to see if he had checked in when she heard bustling in the hallway. The door was roughly pushed open an in waddled Lee carrying a very large and very overstuffed black plastic garbage bag.

"What in the world is that?" Amanda asked as she moved from her desk to help.

"You don't want to know," he said looking frustrated.

Amanda met him at the door, reached down and took hold of the bottom of the bag. "Be careful," Lee warned as they moved into the office. "I think I tore…", Lee started to say, when the bag split open and its contents spilled out onto the office floor. "…the bag," he finished.

They were both now standing ankle deep in hundreds and hundreds of fortune cookies.

"What is all this?" Amanda laughed.

"Its what we have to do before we can leave," grumbled Lee, kicking some of the cookies across the room.

"No!" cried Amanda. "I just finished our report. All we had to do was turn it in and go." She was beginning to look frustrated .

"Hey, I don't like this any more than you," Lee replied. "But I got these from Billy. If you want to take them back, be my guest.." He waved her towards the door.

Slowly, she waded out of the cookies and went to sit on the edge of Lee's desk. He joined her and they both sat looking at the pile.

"This is a priority," Lee said. "we're not the only one stuck with these things. The entire agency is flooded with fortune cookies.

"What happened?" Amanda asked.

****

When Lee had asked Billy the same question he had received the long version of the story. Billy must have needed to vent to someone and had held Lee by the ear for twenty minutes. He finally managed to get away, but not without his "parting gift". Lee gave Amanda the short version of the story.

"Well, it seems a drop in Chinatown went sour this afternoon. Our agent was to have lunch at a Chinese restaurant and when he finished his meal he was to be passed a fortune cookie that contained a coded message. He got the cookie but as he was leaving the restaurant he noticed he was being followed. He tried to lose the tail but wound up being cornered in, of all places, a fortune cookie factory. I think you can guess what happened next."

"He lost the cookie" Amanda answered.

"Yep." Lee quipped. "He lost it when he fell into a bulk storage bin of fortune cookies. Right now there are between thirty and forty thousand fortune cookies that have to be searched before anyone at the agency can leave.'

Amanda let out a sigh. "Then we better get started," she said as she moved fro the desk to the floor. "The sooner we're done the sooner we're out of here."

Sitting on the floor next to the pile Amanda picked up a fortune cookie, opened it and read aloud. "You are a kind and generous person." She picked up another, opened it and read aloud. "Fortune smiles on you today."

Lee rolled his eyes. "Amanda you don't have to read them all!"

"I know!" she answered defensively. "I just don't know what I'm looking for."

Sorry," Lee apologized as he moved to sit on the floor next to her. "You will be looking for a slip of paper with a lot of numbers on it. So, anything with letters on it can be tossed." Lee reached down grabbed a cookie, broke it open, glanced at it and tossed it over his shoulder.

They both set to work; neither talking much, just cracking, looking and tossing. An hour later and a third of the way through the pile Lee's concentration was interrupted by loud crunching noises next to him. He looked at Amanda and saw that she was eating one of the fortune cookies.

"You actually eat those things?" he asked, making a face at her.

"Hey!" she replied defending herself. "It's dinner time. I'm hungry and we have at least two hours of work before this pile is gone. So I thought I'd have a snack."

"Why don't I get you something from the fridge," Lee offered as he stood up stretching his back.

Amanda looked up at him. "Do you think I would be eating these things if there was something better in there? I cleaned it out this morning. The only thing left in there is a jar of mayo and a couple of sodas."

Lee went over to the refrigerator, opened it and pulled out the sodas. "You want one?" he asked. "Sure, why not," she said. He walked back over, handed her the soda and sat back down beside finished their sodas and went back to work.

****

Twenty minutes later Lee blurted out, "God, I hate fortune cookies!" as he crushed on in his hand.

"I don't know." Amanda contemplated…"I kind of like this one." She flashed Lee a knowing smile and read aloud. "A secret love will surprise you ."

Lee smiled back. "Not Bad." he agreed, "But, you didn't read it right."

"What?" said Amanda, unsure of what he had just said.

"That's not the way you read a fortune cookie." he answered, with a glint in his eye.

"What other way is there?" she asked.

"Well, " he said "when you read it you're suppose to say the words 'in bed' at the end of the fortune."

Amanda tossed him a look.

"It's better that way," he promised. "Go on, read it again, you'll see."

She hesitated. Unsure of what she was getting herself in to; she read the fortune again.

"A secret love will surprise you…in bed." This time Amanda blushed and smiled at Lee.

"See, much better," he said as he leaned in to give her a light kiss on the lips.

Leaning back, he reached down, picked up a cookie, cracked it open and read. "You will get what you want through your charm and personality…in bed,"

"You're right about that," she teased as she reached for another cookie. She opened it and read. "You will soon take a very pleasant and successful trip…in bed."

" I hope so," he teased back as he cracked open another. "Take advantage of your imagination, it will serve you well…in bed." He grinned and added, "I can think of some things already."

"I'm sure you can," she said as she broke open another and read. "It's time to explore new interests…in bed," Amanda eyed him intently.

Lee fumbled for his next cookie. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. His pants were suddenly too tight and he found himself squirming around on the floor trying to find a more comfortable position. Trying to ignore his increasing problem he opened his next cookie.

"All your wishes will come true in bed," he read quickly, hoping Amanda would put and end it. But, as he spoke she was already reaching for another cookie.

Amanda was also becoming aroused by the innuendos. Her face became flush and her pulse was racing. As she looked down to retrieve another cookie, she couldn't help but notice Lee's problem. 'Just one more' she said to herself as she opened the next cookie. She was surprised to find herself reading it aloud.

"You will rise to the occasion…in bed," she barley managed to finish.

Instead of reaching for his next cookie, Lee reached for Amanda. He drew her to him for a kiss. Only, it was no playful kiss as before, It was a strong, stirring passionate kiss. She responded eagerly and he slowly pushed her over onto the pile of unopened fortune cookies. The cookies protested the weight of their bodies by crunching, cracking and splitting. They were oblivious to the noise, lost in the passions that their fortunes had aroused. Lee could no longer control his desire. He ravaged her face, lips and neck, She smelled and tasted wonderful. He couldn't get enough of her. Slowly he began unbuttoning her blouse, planting kisses from her neck down to her newly exposed skin.

Amanda was overwhelmed. Her hands found their way under his shirt and she eagerly caressed his warm skin. She could feel his desire pressing against her. It had been so long. She wanted this. She wanted him. She wanted him right now, here in the office. The words 'in the office' echoed in her mind. "Were in the office," the reasoning part of her brain spoke, just as Lee began to loosen another button on her blouse.

She stayed his hand with hers and whispered, "We can't do this in the office."

"Why not?" he groaned in her ear.

****

Suddenly, as if on cue, the door to the Q-bureau opened with an audible click and in strolled Billy Melrose.

"Lee, Amanda," he called out as he came through the door.

It took a moment for him to realize what he was seeing on the floor before him. Lee…on top of Amanda…on top of a pile of fortune cookies. The two of them quickly rolled apart, sat up and stared at Billy like two kids whose hands had been caught in the proverbial cookie jar.

Billy cleared his throat. "Stetson," he growled, "I needed your weekly field report over an hour ago. Where is it?"

Lee looked at Amanda. Amanda looked at Billy and pointed to her desk.

"It's there sir, on my desk, all finished," she stammered.

"Yeah,Billy it's right there." Lee chimed in.

Billy reached over and picked up the report. "Oh," he said. " In case you two haven't heard, the accounting department found the coded message in their fortune cookies. Everyone went home half an hour ago."

Billy turned to leave, stopped and looked back.

He winked at Lee and said, "Nice cleavage Amanda," as he turned and walked out of the office.

As Billy left the room they both looked down at her blouse and found that it had been hanging open. Together they realized that along with exposing her bra, they had also exposed their secret.

A big grin spread across Billy's face as he walked down the hallway. He couldn't wait to tell his wife Jeanie about this. About how he left Lee and Amanda, sitting on the floor of the Q-bureau, dumbfounded, disheveled, and covered from head to toe in bits of fortune cookie without an ounce of composure left between them.

"This is priceless," he chuckled. "Just priceless."

He could hear Amanda starting to giggle, and the sound of their laughter followed him down the stairs and all the way home.