Summary: Soda invites the rest of the gang over to watch "The Birds" on television. A musical number ensues!
WARNING: This is not at all historically accurate, and extremley silly. Don't like the guys getting goofy, singing Veggie Tales songs in an OOC manner? Don't read!
Disclaimer: I don't own "The Outsiders; SE Hinton does. If I did, you all know where I'd be. /winkwink And I don't own "God Is Bigger Than the Boogie Man", either. Big Idea owns that.
Special thanks to one Marcia, who co-wrote this monstrosity. SILLY SONGFICS ROCK, RUMBLE FISH!
Soda banged the door open. "Dare! Hey, Darry!"
Darry rushed in from the kitchen. "Soda? What's wrong?"
Ponyboy looked up from the sofa to see what all the racket was.
"I invited the guys over to watch a movie," Soda replied simply. "That okay?"
"Sure. Since it's Friday 'n all. Just... Don't get too rowdy, okay? I gotta go to work tomorrow."
"Okay. Thanks, Darry."
Just then, they heard the screen door bang a few times, followed by voices.
"I don't wanna watch a scary movie, Dal. I'll have nightmares!" Johnny objected.
Steve rolled his eyes. "Come on, Johnnycake! It's not that scary!"
"Yeah, kid," Two-Bit assured. "I think it's... The Birds or somethin'. That ain't even scary, man." He paused a second. "HEY SODA, WHEN DOES THE MOVIE START?!"
"In a half hour I think--"
"Soda, what's in this movie, anyway?" Darry interrupted, glancing at Pony. "I don't want Pony to watch it if it's really scary--"
"Oh, come on, Darry!" Ponyboy interjected. "You can't dangle it out in front of me, then pull it away!"
"Yeah, Dar, Pony can handle it. He'll be okay," Soda told him.
"It's bascially about a bunch of birds attacking people on this island when that blond chick moves there. Man, that girl is-"
But Two-Bit didn't get to finish, because an annoyed Dally clamped a hand over his mouth.
Darry stared at Soda for a moment, as if trying to deciper whether he was lying or not, but finally sighed. "I guess." He looked back at Pony. "I'll be in my room. You get scared, you come in there with me, okay?"
Pony tried to restrain himself from groaning from Darry's over-protectiveness.
"Okay."
They then killed the 30 minutes by talking about weird things, and drinking beer. Well, Two-Bit drank beer, anyway. The others just kind of watched him.
Eventually, "The Birds" started on the television.
Pony made a point of sitting beside Soda--in case he needed to bury his face in his brother's arm--and everybody else just sort of threw themselves down in the Curtis living room.
The beginning of the film, as anyone who's seen it knows, isn't very scary. But when the birds make their first attack, things get scarier. And when Tippy's character found the guy in the farmhouse with his eyes pecked out, Johnny let out an "eep", and latched onto Dallas.
Steve noticed, and had to comment.
"You were lying in your bed..." he began. "You were feeling kind of sleepy... But you couldn't close your eyes, 'cause the room was getting creepy..."
"What the hell?" Dally wanted to know. "You a poet or somethin', Randle? Shut up and watch the damn movie."
"SHUT UP, STEVE RANDLE!" Johnny shouted, managing to hide his whole body behind Dally's arm.
Ponyboy couldn't help but wonder if Johnny needed a paper bag.
But Steve wouldn't shut up. Instead, he kept going.
"Were those eyeballs in the closet? Was that Godzilla in the hall? There was something big and hairy casting shadows on the wall!"
Johnny was screaming by this point. "Steve, stop it!" His voice was unnaturally high and squeaky.
Everybody, even Steve, raised their eyebrows. Nobody thought Johnny had a big enough voice box to reach that high.
Soda finally punched Steve's shoulder.
"Lay off, man."
Unfortunately for Johnny, and everyone else for that matter, Steve did not want to lay off. He wanted to continue on.
"Now your heart is beating like a drum, and your skin is getting clammy. There's a hundred tiny monsters jumping right into your jammies!"
Two-Bit's several beers had taken effect a while ago, and since he was so crocked, he decided to play along.
"Well, Johnny? What are you going to do?"
"...I'm going to call the Police," Johnny finally decided, still somewhat squeaky.
"No. You don't have to do anything," the older, drunken boy assured.
"What? Why?"
Everybody except Steve--and drunken Two-Bit--was completely and utterly confused. Ponyboy was even contemplating going back to join Darry.
Steve glanced at the television and, suddenly, gave a ear-splitting shriek.
Everyone looked at him, wondering what exactly was going on. But before the others could react, Two-Bit and Steve began to sing again.
"Becauuuuuse... GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN! HE'S BIGGER THAN GODZILLA, AND THE MONSTERS ON TV! OH, GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN, AND HE'S WATCHING OUT FOR YOU AND MEEEEE!"
That outburst was followed by an uncomfortable silence.
Steve was still staring in shock at the television and it wasn't long before his terrible singing filled the room.
"GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN! HE'S BIGGER THAN GODZILLA AND THE MONSTERS ON TV!!"
"GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN, AND HE'S WATCHING OUT FOR YOU AND MEEEEE!!" Two-Bit finished for him.
Johnny looked at them both, long and hard.
"So..." He started slowly. "When I'm lying in my bed, and the furniture starts creeping... I'll just laugh, and say, "Hey! Cut that out!", 'cause I know that God's the biggest, and He's watching all the while. So when I get scared, I'll think of Him, and close my eyes and smiiiiiiile!!"
"...Oh my God," Dallas concluded. "You've all lost it."
Ponyboy stared, wide-eyed, at each one of them. This was scarier than any movie could ever get.
Steve wasn't listening. He also wasn't singing out of fright, anymore. In fact, he'd completely forgotten that the television was even on.
But he and Two-Bit did feel the need to go on, regardless.
"GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN! HE'S BIGGER THAN GODZILLA, OR THE MONSTERS ON TV! OH, GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN, AND HE'S WATCHING OUT FOR YOU AND MEEEEEE!!"
"So, are you frightened?" Dally asked Johnny, trying to ignore the fact that his comment fit well with their musical number.
"No, not really!" Johnny replied, feeling a lot less scared.
"Are you worried?" Ponyboy asked, feeling the same as Dally.
"Not a bit! I know whatever's gonna happen, that God can handle it!"
Soda couldn't help but crack up at that.
Ponyboy and Dally both glared at him for encouraging the nonsense.
Surely enough, Two-Bit continued, "I'M SORRY THAT I SCARED YOU WHEN YOU SAW ME ON TV!"
"Well, that's okay, because now I know that God is taking care of me!"
Dally looked at them in sheer confusion.
"Two-Bit, you weren't on TV, man-"
But he couldn't finish, because everyone but he and Ponyboy burst out into song, again.
"GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN! HE'S BIGGER THAN GODZILLA OR THE MONSTERS ON TV! OH, GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN, AND HE'S WATCHING OUT FOR YOU AND MEEEEEEE!!"