I am ever so tired of Naruto fanfictions that i could puke up my own spleen

I am ever so tired of Naruto fanfictions that i could puke up my own spleen. so here is a horrendous Grammatical disaster of a fanfiction, to mock everything that is Naruto. Welcome to my abomination! FEAR THE GRAMMAR! FEAR IT!

chapter 1

"Qqqquqquuuuuquuuuuuuuuehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhffffffff!" Jizzy the Mal-Deformed Greater Hell-Spawn Demon shrieked, shaking the night itself. Thunder flashed across the sky and the earth exploded under its putrid feet as it waddled toward the village.

"RECEIVE IT!" Naruto gasped like the belch of a stoner hippopotamus. "Oh lord-Master Fur-Fag, whatever shall we do?"

Kakashi's hair became the spikes of the heavens and pointed down at him with disdain.

"It is the time! It is the time of the GOBLIN QUEEN!" Naruto dropped his wide mouth and choked!

"Whoever could the Goblin Queen be?"

Sakura cackled like an old hag on acid. So chilling it confused your bones and froze your face to steel when you heard it.

"It is I! I AM THE GOBLIN QUEEN!"

She thrust her hands upon her hips and let out another spine tingling cackle.

"I WILL BE THE ONE TO DESTROY JIZZY the MAL-DEFORMED GREATER HELL-SPAWN DEMON!"

Naruto's left eye then flew out of his skull and became the Tiara of Damnation. The Tiara was made from the flesh on 800 spider legs and the blood of Konoha's most prominent hooker. It shimmered with the light of 50 moonbeams and rainbows, blinding all in its radiance.

Kakashi reached out his hand to stop her, but it was far too late! The repulsive young ninja had already thrown the Tiara of Damnation on top of her greasy scalp.

"NOW I SHALL CONQUER and SPREAD MY USEFULLNESS ACROSS the PLAINS of OUTER SPACE!" her face quickly became purple and just as hideous as at was previously, only more like a rotting, maggoty, cheeseburger, pulsating like an oozing boil.

"I WILL BE THE MOST FEARED AND WIDLY RESPECTED NINJA IN ALL OF TIME AND TIME AGAIN!"

Death was inevitable; Sakura's face withered, and became an acid that turned into a nauseating smell the reeked of kuuybi poo and the BO of a thousand ninjas, Exploding in just the right way that was appropriate for someone as insignificant as she.

Her ashes then transformed into a log that became a cinderblock, that became snake, that then became Orochimaru himself.

Kakashi picked up the Tiara of Damnation and laughed. "Goblin Queen? PEH! Fool the only thing that was right about you was your death!" Naruto then fluttered his eyelids, just so.

"RECEIVE IT! KAKASHI-SENSEI! Let me try! I can be the GOBLIN-QUEEN! RECEIVE IT!"

The silver haired man became old and withered.

"Naruto! You are not the Goblin Queen!" he shook his face at the younger boy impolitely.

"SssssssssssssssssssssssASUKE!" Orochimaru hissed like silent but deadly gas from the overlord himself. "I want yooooooooour boooooody!" from his hand sprouted a rhinestone glove and he began to moonwalk.

Sasuke sniffed.

"I will not give you my body!"

He then ripped off Orochimaru's face and wore it as a loin cloth.

"I will have your body!" he cackled with malice and inexpressible love. "I AM THE GOBLIN QUEEN!"

The Tiara of Damnation then melded with Sasuke's head and he did become the Goblin Queen.

END CHAP 1

FEAR CHAPTER 2! FEAR IT!