"Why?" I would ask myself, "Why?" was the question that made me who I was.
A monster.
Painting One: Questions
"Can I ask you a question?" I whispered through the clustered room, all around me were the paintbrushes soaked with human blood. "Why?" I say, feeling my eyes shut; the skin tightened and relaxed, "Why?" I asked again, my ass ached when I fidgeted on the wooden stool that would face the thin strings that supported my paintings.
"What do you want to know?" Rhode asked me, pushing some of her dark hair behind her ear, she walked closer to me, each footstep created an echoing stomp that blasted throughout the silent room.
"Why am I here?" I asked, feeling the rush of the paintbrush stroke against the white canvas, each stroke create a new vibe, a new chapter written in our futures, a new me.
"Dunno." She stares at me blankly for a second, deep in thought, "That is a question I don't know, only you know that answer." She turns her back to me, walking towards the wooden barricades that blocked my only exit to the outside world. "But be warned," She says, clicking the first iron lock open, " There are answers for everything," she pauses, hearing another loud click from the second lock she starts too glare at me once again with her yellowish eyes, "But some answers remain to be kept locked." She finally clicks all 7 locks open and the light shines into the room once again, "See ya…" her voice fades away along with her body. And once again I'm left with the quietness.
Slowly, I turn my head back to my focus, the wall with a elegant building, one of the characters that resembles that man and him. I drop to the floor, feeling the pain of standing up once again, my bony body struggles to keep straight, as I place my hand against the blood soaked wall, I feel the cackles of my bones grinding against each other piece, yelping for help. "Why?" I say, flexing my fingers alongside that man, "Why?" as a tear dropped to the floor, echoing into the silence of my heartbeat.
I stared at my painting, grabbing a handful of the sticky blood from one of the rounder shaped vials carved onto the white, plastered floor. I smashed my hand against the wall, blood spattering against my face, the wall, and the floor. My index finger started smearing blood over the background painting, making a shape of him, holding us in his big hands.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
The wooden doors clanged with someone's pounding fists, "Yoo Hoo!" yelled a voice from the outside world, pounding against the door again.
"Watcha want!" I yell, feeling my voice cracking.
After 1 minute of silence, staring at the door, someone drops all the outside locks to the floor, "Heyy, T-ka?" as soon as she paused, she just had to continue again, "Uhhh, yeahhh, wellllll," another pause. "Can you open the inside locks, pleasseeeeee?"
I start to walk towards the door, feeling my tanned skin start to decompose alongside my shins and elbows, limping each step I took with my right foot, I felt the coldness on the locks, "Jac? It's too cold." I complain, snatching my hand away from the third lock.
"C'monnn, if Rhode didn't come over yesterday then you would probably be dead right nowwww," she slurred her words.
I leaned down, my back started to cackle. I felt my hand grab a sheet of paper, carved into the paper was a chestnut headed woman, opening the inside locks. I grabbed the nearest pencil I could find and drilled the lead into my thigh, I couldn't feel the pain due to the numbness of my before hand blood loss. The pencil still sticking out of my thing, my blood slowly dripped onto the piece of paper, filling up the entire paper, as I watched the paper disappearing as a humanized shape appeared facing the door and unlocking the locks, one by one. Each lock dropped to the floor, making loud clanging noises.
"Glad you have some safe pictures." Jac said, finishing the last lock, She turned around, "Wowww." She stared at my body, "Is there even ONE pound of friggin flesh?" the chestnut headed woman, her boobs were literally hanging out of her corset, her makeup was smeared against her face, you could actually see flakes of the white powder tear out from her European shaped face. "Lets seee." She paused, staring at my health.
After analyzing my body, she made the 'DMF' or the Decision Making Face. "I'll start from bottom to top this time," she said, rooling up her slanky sleeves to her elbow, she walked sloawly up to me brushing some of her brown colored hair out of her face, "Please sit down …" she says as I crimpled my body against the black wooden chair that was usually meant for guests but okayyy, "This might hurt." She placed her hand on top my decomposing shin, the warmth of her hand gently touched the shin.
The skin slowly started to regenerate to its past state, large cloudy hands grabbed the old skin, tearing it apart while new skin started to grow at an accelerating speed, spreading through out each part of my body, it felt like a thousand pins stabbed throughout the insides of my body.
I started to feel like a warm, oozing liquid clogging my throat as I felt the gush of blood explode from my mouth, "WHAT THE FUCK JACQUELINE!" I yelled, my lungs bursting with blood, "YOU SAID IT'LL BE A FRIGGIN PINCH, NOT A FRIGGIN SURGERY!" I let out some air, while feeling a sens of relaxation, "maldición de dios" I whisper, and pulling out frrm my pocket was my cigs, "¿Usted importa de si fumo" I say, pressing one of the papers from inside the thin cig pack onto the ciggerettes tip, "Ya got meh?" I say, watching the flame from the paper spread, avoiding the butt of the cig.
"No smoking." Jacqueline says, smacking the ciggerette out of my mouth with her pale hand, "Son mauvais pour votre santé" Lately she has been saying this sentence over and over again, but who cares what it means.
"And?"
"And what?"
"Ya done yet?" I say, flexing my meaty hand, "Looking good…" I say, checking myself out, scratching my used to numb body.
"Yes." She finishes her last touch, "Just eat more and rest more."
"I CAN'T!" I yell, my voice was a bit scratchy and itchy like if I swallowed a desert whole, "I can't…" A tear flowed down my cheek, "I can't" I keep on repeating in a lower tone of voice, shaking and shivering from a scary judgement, everyone is going to kill me if I stop, what if they come and kill me, those men with the magical powers of exorcising us and them. "I need to finish it." I say, calming myself by stuffing a lighted cigerette into my mouth.
"Fine." Jac says, kneeling onto the cold floor, "Earl won't hurt you." She says in a warm voice, "He loves us all." She whispers into my ear, "I am not sure where you get this idea of someone hurting you but…" She pauses, "It won't be him."
For the next few months, Jac visited me a few times to patch me up, Rhode too. I just stayed in my locked shelter, painting my life away.