It had begun with a prayer and it was ending with a plea.
Jimmy Novak had been normal. At least, as normal as one could be. And he had gone through Hell and back for his family, to keep them safe, to keep his little girl from the hell he went through every day.
And then one day it had just stopped.
There was no more scratching at the dark walls of the prison inside his mind, trying to get out.
There was no longer pain, or torment, or complete and utter misery as Castiel rode him around like a car.
There was just… nothing. For days. For weeks. For what felt like a year, there was just white. Nothing else. And Jimmy didn't mind, because the white was better than the prison he had been in before. The white didn't make him want to die.
And then it changed.
Blue seeped into the sky.
Green seeped into the ground, mixing with yellow and blue and pink and purple as flowers bloomed. Trees sprouted. Wheat grew, and the sun burned hot in the sky, although it didn't feel hot. And Jimmy found himself waking up slowly, blue eyes flickering open to stare at the blue where the white had been, the man pushing himself into a sitting position, blood caked on his chin and his tie still twisted around backwards.
He wasn't hurting anymore.
Jimmy looked around, eyes flickering over his surroundings, and shakily he got up, a smile splitting his face as he realized he was in control of his own body again. He was Jimmy again.
"Do you like it?"
The voice was familiar, soft and monotone and grating, and Jimmy turned to find Castiel standing there, the angel looking at Jimmy cautiously. Jimmy knew he was seeing the angel's true form, but it was not an easy one to describe; human without being human, liquid and solid and light all at the same time. Jimmy looked around again before speaking, a smile crossing his face as he realized it was his voice leaving his throat, not anyone else's. "Where am I?"
"Heaven. Your heaven."
"I love it," Jimmy said, looking around again and crossing his arms, looking down. "Why am I here?"
"I… replaced you."
A pang shot through Jimmy's heart and he stared, eyes flickering towards the trees at the edge of the field he was standing in before he looked back at Castiel. "But… the Winchesters…"
"They still have me. Just not with you."
Those words stung a little more than Jimmy would like to admit, and he figured it must have been some leftover emotions of Castiel's; the idea of the Winchesters as family was incredibly prominent in his mind at the moment, and he shook his head, looking at Castiel and trying to stop himself from opening his mouth, although it was futile. "I don't want to leave them."
Castiel paused, looking at Jimmy, and when he spoke, there was a slight tone of confusion in his voice. "You hated being my vessel. So I gave you heaven instead. I felt it was a necessary repayment. I don't want you to be unhappy any longer."
Jimmy looked around at his heaven; it was beautiful. It was undeniably gorgeous… but it was empty. He scratched at his chin, some dried blood coming off under his fingernails, the crimson seeming unreal compared to the pastel colours of the rest of the world. He didn't want to be alone. He stared at Castiel before taking a shaky step forward, holding his hand out to the angel. "I've come with you this far already. Castiel, don't leave me here now. I've given up everything for you. I want to be there for them."
"I… gave you heaven. I thought you didn't want to be my vessel any longer. I've already begun to find a new one."
Jimmy fell quiet and then shook his head, rubbing at the dried blood again and shaking his head slowly. "Heaven can wait. Can't it?"
Castiel nodded, and slowly the colours seeped out of the sky, out of the grass, out of everything. Jimmy was left in nothing but white once again, and slowly but surely darkness fell, and Castiel took over.
Heaven could wait. All Jimmy wanted now was to serve his Lord.