A/N: Oneshots just keep pouring out of my mind. I have about seven half-finished ones. Read, review, and enjoy. Emphasis on the review part, by the way.
_=_
With a name like this, you'd figure I would be famous. Roxy Starr. You'd expect me to be someone important. You'd count on me being Roxy-the-girl-genius, or Roxy-the-super-talented-artist. Maybe even Roxy-the-stripper, with a name like mine. Not that I wanted to really be Roxy-the-stripper. But I have to admit, it would catch his attention. Anything to catch his eye, have him smile at me or wink with that devilish grin I loved, no matter the fact that it was never directed at me. I would do anything to change from Roxy-the-girl-whose-name-is-really-much-more-fitting-for-an-Angelina-Jolie-clone-or-actually-anyone-but-her, to Roxy-the-real-live-Starr. Roxy-the-Starr would make him stop and think. The Roxy of now would not.
_=_
I was desperate to get out of my good girl personality. The co-captain of the Marauders, Sirius Black himself, never going to notice me if I stayed the way I was. I resorted to the not-so-logical solution. For some reason, I completely destroyed all my prior knowledge of the world. I confronted James Potter. With a deep breath and a furtive glance at my only friend, Lily Evans, I was reassured. Well, reassured that I had gone crazy. "Um, James?" I said tentatively. James whipped around and looked around for a moment.
He looked me over for a second, then said, "Yeah?"
I continued before I could lose my nerve. "James, I know we don't really talk, like, at all, but I need help with something. I'm Roxy Starr."
"Oh, right, yeah, yeah," James nodded with a smile, "I remember you. How could I ever forget a name like Roxy Starr?" There it was again. The name thing. "So, let me guess. You are a part of the masses who are obsessing over my buddy Sirius and you need my help so he'll like/notice you?"
I blushed. "No." James smirked at me. "Yes," I admitted. James spun around in his chair once and stood up, shaking his finger at me.
"I'll help you, Roxy Starr, because I like you. You've got a certain spunk about you that I think might be good for dear old Padfoot's heart." I smiled uncertainly. Me, have a certain 'spunk'? I couldn't help but be a little flattered. "Now, I'm guessing you need to be noticed." I nodded, absentmindedly chewing on my thumbnail, tearing it in two. James slapped my hand out of my mouth. "No, no no! Biting your nails just will not do, young missy."
"You sound like my mum," I muttered. James grinned.
"Now, that's exactly what I mean! Excellent, excellent..." He suddenly snapped to attention, noticing my pinky nail in my mouth. "Rox, (I'm going to call you that from now on), guys like Sirius are ruled by their eyes. The first thing you need is to get hot. Fast. You have definite potential... with the right clothes, make-up, and stopping your nasty nail-biting habit you'll be perfect in no time!" I instantly whipped my hand to my side. I had potential to be hot? I couldn't help myself. I flung my arms around James. "Er, Rox? You're sort of cutting off my circulation."
"No I'm not," I said. James patted me on the back awkwardly.
"May I ask why I have the pleasure of being embraced by the lovely Roxy Starr?"
"Because you called me hot," I sniffled delightedly. James looked down, bewildered.
"I didn't actually-"
"Shut up, James. Let me have my moment." James shrugged.
"You're awfully prone to exaggeration and overreaction."
I sniffled again. "You don't mean that."
"Yes I do, but Rox, we have more pressing matters to discuss."
"Right," I said breathlessly, "I knew that."
_=_
So, with James' help, I was transformed. Much to his delight, Lily even pitched in now and then. James taught me what he called "the keys to success at anything whatsoever, no matter what the situation".
"So, Rox, there are several things you need to imprint into your mind. Padfoot is a firm believer in the 3 S's."
"What are the the three S's, James?" I sighed, applying my third coat of lip gloss. The frequent lip gloss application was the least of my makeover troubles. I had magically lengthened, curled, and bleached my hair. Instead of my old mousy-brown haired ponytail, I now had golden brown curls down to my waist. I couldn't stop staring at myself in the mirror. Every morning Lily had to pull me away from the full-length mirror on the bathroom door forcibly.
But despite all this, I was still nowhere closer to my goal. Well, I was slightly closer. That is, if you count Sirius saying to James, "Who's that new chick you're always hanging around? I've never seen her before." But I didn't really count that.
Don't get me wrong, I was noticed by guys. Just, you know, I was kind of looking for a little bit more than the occasional "Hey. Can you give me a map, cause I got lost in your eyes."
To which I usually replied with either a muttered "Fuck off" or a slap on the face. It depended on how I was feeling that day, and how many guys had tried to pick me up so far.
So, when a voice from behind me said, "Hey, gorgeous. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
Without looking, I replied, "Not as much as it's going to hurt when I break your nose." The voice laughed and my breath caught in my throat. I would recognize that laugh anywhere. I spun around to face Sirius, my face tomato red. "I, er, didn't mean that," I muttered awkwardly.
He merely laughed. "Eh, I don't really mind, but..." My heart fluttered excitedly. Calm yourself, stupid heart.
"But?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, trying to convey sexiness with one word.
He stood up and grinned at me. I thought I might just about die right then. The grin, directed right at me. Me! Roxy! "But," he said huskily, "you're going to have to make it up to me." I turned and perched my chin daintily on my elbow.
"What do you have in mind?" He tapped the desk with two fingers.
"You'll see, Miss Roxy Starr. You will just wait and see." And he backed out of the classroom without another word, right on cue with the bell.
_=_
For the next week, I agonized. He had said nothing to me. I didn't expect anything huge to happen, but was I wrong to demand a hello every once in a while? The week after that, I stopped caring. Let him flirt with me all he wanted. I didn't care one way or another. It was his fault for letting me go. The week after, I gave up. I was in love, pure and simple. Although love with Sirius Black was more dirty and complex than pure and simple. But that is not the point. My point is what happened during the week I came to terms with the fact that I loved him.
James came up to me with a tired smile on his face in Charms at the beginning of class. He handed me a note. "It's from Sirius," he sighed, "and knowing him, it will be romantic and complicated. It'll be worth the long wait." I perked up immediately. And here I was, thinking he had forgotten all about me! My unrequited love was finally returned. I ripped the note out of James's hands. The front had my name written on it in elegant script, with a star at the tip of the y. I traced my fingers over the letters, then finally opened it. Roxy, it said, don't waste this beautiful day in class. As you may or may not have noticed, I am currently in an undisclosed location, rather than wasting my time learning. I looked around the classroom, eyes wide. Sure enough, he was MIA. Ha! I bet I got you to look. I laughed out loud. He knew me well, considering that we had had all of one conversation. Anyway, if you miss me, or just are bored, go outside to the little painting of the phoenix across the hall. NOW.
I raised my hand hesitantly. "Professor? I'm not feeling well. Can I go to the Hospital Wing?" Professor Flitwick nodded and resumed the oh-so-important shuffling of his papers. James whipped around and mouthed "Note?" at me. I nodded quickly, clutching it between my fingers. I dove outside, careful to look pale and sickly until I determined that I was alone in the hallway. I peered around the edges of the painting Sirius had mentioned and behind it. Finally I noticed a speech bubble drawn from the beak of the phoenix. Took you a bit to find this, didn't you? Go outside to the prettiest pumpkin in the pumpkin patch. But first Vanish this message. I hurriedly made it disappear and ran outside, my curly hair streaming behind me. How the hell was I supposed to know which pumpkin Sirius considered the prettiest? I shook my head and decided I would just check every pumpkin.
After flipping several hundred orange gourds over, I saw a black square on a large one, about my height. I inched closer to it, unsure what it was. For all I knew, it could easily be a monster crow ready to kill me. On closer inspection, though, I saw that the menacing box was harmless. It was a photo of me, laughing. I remembered it was taken a few days ago, when James was imitating a particularly stupid fifth year Slytherin. James, though, was cut out of the picture, so it was just me. I looked beautiful, I have to say. My eyes sparkled, even through the black and white picture. I peeled it off the orange flesh of the pumpkin, and looked at the back. There was another note.
Do you want to know why this pumpkin is the prettiest? It's because it's got your picture on it. And when you are near anything, it is automatically pretty. If you were standing with Snape, hell, even he'd be a supermodel. My eyes watered with tears. "Do you really think that?" I whispered to myself.
"Yes," came Sirius's voice, "I really do." I flung my arms around him, and, using all the boldness I had saved from the past years, I kissed him with all my strength. And you know what? He kissed me back. Me. Roxy Starr. I may not be an Angelina Jolie clone who does rocket science on my days off from my modeling career, but I don't honestly care. He doesn't either. Or if he does, he sure doesn't show it. Cause we're just in love like that.