FIVE MINUTES OF DILAPIDATED PENIS
by an awesome blossom
So Link and a ReDead walk into a bar...
The Five Minutes Of drabble which unfortunately spawned an entire mini-series. Prompt "word" for this one was "dilapidated penis", I shit you not. Warnings for (im)mature content, language, and general wtf-ery. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is property of Nintendo and co.
"Stephen," Link sighed lustily, "please...I need your dilapidated penis! Now! Please!"
Stephen the Irish ReDead had been a formal military officer and stationed in the Arbiter's Grounds when he first met Link. They got off to a rough start at first after he attacked Link and Link nearly killed him, but after all that shit with the Twilight Realm was over, they met again in the Arbiter's Grounds' prestigious Undead Bar when Link had come back for some really awesome treasure he saw before.
It was love at first sight, and it was all they could do to keep their hands off each other. Finally, the bartender Stallord (who had apologized profusely for his previous actions, but Link said it was cool since he had such a fun time) had to tell the two to get a room.
Which they did.
Stephen and his dilapidated penis stood at full attention, lusting hungrily at the sight of Link on all fours, ass up in the air...