I wipe the sweat from my brow as I stare them down.
This 90 degree heat leaves a light brown tint across my exposed skin. The sun shimmers off the pool water as the wind blows softly through the trees on this Saturday afternoon in the middle of June.
This position wasn't my intention when I first got hit but it's about the only option I have since I'm now on defense without a game plan.
I'm outnumbered by four, the intensity surreal as they count down from 9; only yelling out the odd numbers.
I quickly run over to the garden and smear my two fingers in the soil before spreading the dirt under my eyes. Hurrying back I shuffle from one end to the other, making sure I look every single one of my opponents in the eye. "It's game time. Don't get scared now."
They don't feel threatened as I point my two dirty fingers from my eyes to theirs. Stopping just in front of my 8 year old son I comment "Bet you wish you didn't throw the ball in my direction now, don't ya?"
He just rolls his eyes and stays in the zone. Raised that boy well.
"36!"
Did they just call out my age?
"36!" I watch as Ben looks side to side at all his cousins.
"I'm coming for you." I point at Erica
"Hut-hut-hike!"
All at once I see my life flash as a gang of kids rush towards me with a yell. I pick up the first one that reaches me and spin around. Not even 5 seconds later two more are wrapped around my legs. "What, are you guys triple-teaming me now?" I question.
They just laugh in response. It's not as if I was looking for an exact answer, anyway.
"Wait..." I look over when I see Ben pass the ball to the youngest member of the family "There goes the ball!" Little Ryder giggles as he passes everyone, racing to the tiki post "There it is! I see it..." My voice hitches as I try to speak softly to all the kids. Unfortunately, I can't move with a set of twins on my feet and Emma in my arms.
I'm too busy being pounded that I can't watch my youngest son spike the ball into the ground like his older brother taught him.
Slowly my knees give in and they bring me down until I hit the floor with a puff. My breath feels heavy as I try to bring it back to a steady pace. Emma is spread out on my chest and quickly Jack and Erica pile on top of her. "Ugh..." It would be different if they eased onto my body with a gentle and careful lay, but instead, they jump on top of this dog pile.
Looking down at Emma, I make sure she's not hurt from the hard pounding. But the smile on her face reassures any concern I may have.
"Okay, okay..." I breathe and they stop wiggling for a second to look at me "Let's get one thing straight." Thankfully, Ben stands over my head to block the sun so I don't look like a squinting goof as I tell them a very important life lesson. "I'm 28."
"Dad, you were 28 when you had us." Erica points out
"Hey, hey hey." I point my finger at her, my head lifting up slightly and by the strict tone in my voice she looks quite frightened "Your mother had you." I correct "I would have gladly settled for the monkey's at the zoo." I pause "Oh, wait, that's exactly what I got!" I begin tickling their stomachs, making them squirm.
"Ahhhh..." And just like that my vision goes black.
One of these days he is going to break my nose. I know he is only 3 at the moment, but it won't be long until his knee actually hits a bone just right.
Bringing my hands up I wrap them around Ryder's side and lift. His head comes down to my upper chest, his feet in the air. Slowly, his shirt drops to his chin and I see a tummy that is fair game.
Blowing a giant raspberry he shrieks as his hands push at my head.
I love kids, in fact, I want 3 more. Whether that be by adoption or natural birth, I want them.
Commitment use to be a huge fear of mine before Monica came along. Truthfully, I don't know where I'd be if Monica never sat me down and told me that we needed to be honest with each other. However, there is one thing I do know; I wouldn't be nearly as happy as I am now if I never married Monica.
When I told Mon I wanted 3 more I'll admit, she laughed. But could I blame her? We don't have that kind of money after adopting Ryder from New Zealand. At just 5 months old, he was given up by his birth father. His birth mother died in labor leaving his father alone to care for the baby. The economy was in terrible condition and he realized he couldn't take care of little Ryder by himself. He was the one that found us after we put our names down for another baby back when the twins were turning 4. It took a little over a year and soon we were flying out to New Zealand to greet the boy whose name means Mountain Warrior.
With olive skin, green eyes and light brown hair, we get mistaken for his birth parents everyday. But isn't that the assumption when seeing a baby with a pair of adults?
As for the twins, their blonde hair gives us funny looks. But those funny looks are what make us even more proud that they are our children.
"Daddy!"
Ryder's watery eyes and red cheeks bring me back to reality and I slowly let him back down to his wobbly legs.
"Alright, why don't you kids go play so I can start dinner."
They must be hungry because I don't think I've ever seen kids move off a dog pile that fast.
When I'm in the clear Ben reaches out his hand to help me up.
"Nice defense, Uncle Chandler."
Standing up, I brush the grass seed off my shorts and without looking up at my nephew I know what he's thinking.
"You and I next game?"
"Oh yeah." I reply and walk off to where the adults are laughing around my new deck furniture. Sharing some appetizers my wife brought out a few minutes ago, they laugh at something that I only catch the ending to. "What'd I miss?" I maneuver between Rachel and Monica to grab a carrot with veggie dip.
"Babe-" I feel Monica grab the outside of my shorts and pull.
"Not right here honey, we've got company."
Without commenting she continues "You've got grass stains all over your ass." Twisting, I see what she means.
"Language." Rachel looks down at her infant that rest on Monica's chest fast asleep.
"You can get them out, right?" I have full confidence that she can but I know she loves to be reminded of her gift.
She just grins and rubs the babies back consolingly.
"Mon, you better give that baby back to Rachel, I don't want to be up all night hearing you name off adoption agencies again."
She just slaps my butt in response as I turn and step out of the circle to join Ross and Mike by the grill "Thanks man." I pat Mike on the back and he hands off the spatula.
"Dude, when is Joey suppose to get here?" Ross asks, careful not to spill his beer, he looks at his watch.
"I'm not sure, he said something about a ring."
Pausing, we all turn and look at Andy sitting around the table. After a year of dating her I can't believe Joey is actually ready to get a taste of commitment.
"You don't think..." Ross stops mid-sentence.
"Boy's, I think we finally rubbed off on him." Mike comments
Grabbing my beer off the side table we all take a sip and sigh contently.
We've come a long way from moving out of apartment 20. Monica and I have 3 kids and are thinking about another one, Rachel just had a baby and her and Ross put an offer on a house a few blocks over from ours. Phoebe and Mike are going strong, in fact, they are expecting their first in 6 months. Now Joey, the last bachelor of the group, is about to put a ring on it. It truly is amazing how far one can go just by saying the wrong name at the alter.
Glancing over at Ross, he takes another sip and I wonder if the same thoughts are running through his head right now.
As if he knew we were talking about him, Joey slides the back door open and steps out.
"Joey!" All the girls greet him as he makes his way around the group, before sharing a kiss with Andy and joining the guys.
When he gets to me he pauses and as serious as this moment can get, says "Dude, don't you ever shower?" He asks, taking the cold beer Ross hands him. The beer bottle is dripping with water and has an ice cube stuck around the cap from sitting in the cooler all day, but he doesn't seem to mind.
I rub the back of my hand under my eyes; which only smears the dirt, and then hug my best friend. "It's good to see you too, Joe." Once I break away I ask the question that all of us are wondering. "So, where is it?" I nudge him, hoping he will catch on without me having to spell it out for him and possibly ruining the surprise.
"Where's what?" He questions, popping open the bottle.
Worth a shot.
"The diamond." Ross clues in
He shakes his head, trying to think about what it is we know that he doesn't remember. How could he forget something so important?
Leaning in, Mike whispers "The ring."
"Oh!" His eyes go wide and he holds up his right hand "Nice, ha?" On his finger he displays a piece of iron so big it reaches all the way to his knuckle. "It's from the show. They said 'this is for not screwing up'. And it even has the date it aired." He points out
"Oh, yeah, I see it." My eyes are squinted as all us men lean forward to get a glimpse of his prize.
"Dude, we thought you were going to propose to Andy." Ross hisses, as he slaps Joey's hand away.
"What!" His voice goes high for a minute, surprised by his friends reaction. "Why would you think that? I mean, we've been dating for most of two years and her parents love me, and we live together..."
My eyebrows reach my hairline waiting for him to realize all the signs that point to marriage.
"It would only make since that I buy a really expensive ring and plant it in the dinner I made for us later tonight." He grins as his voice goes high with excitement.
"What?" I question but don't look for an answer as a smile overtakes my face. "You're gonna propose?"
Joey nods
"Congratulations, man." Ross pats him on the back with his free hand "You almost had me going there."
"It's about time." I comment, taking a swig of me beer.
"Yeah." His voice gets low as he leans in closer "I even asked her old man for a blessing, and I rented this really expensive suit." He tells us "She really means a lot to me. It all makes since to get married."
We exchange a few more congratulations, even though he isn't even engaged yet.
"Wait," We all look over at Mike standing there with a clueless look "You made dinner?"
There is a pause among the group before Joey breaks out into a mischievous grin. "I got a few tips from Mon, but yeah, I managed to make something that wasn't overcooked, burnt, stuck to the pan, and well...edible."
"My wife knew about this, and she didn't tell me?" I question, looking back at Monica. She continues to rub the babies back before glancing up at me with a short smile. I watch as it fades and I nod quickly to assure her everything is okay before my attention returns to the guys.
"Not technically." He answers "I just told her that I needed help on a very important dinner. I'm sure she figured out what important dinner it was later on. But I didn't officially tell anyone." He takes a drink of his beer "The only reason you guys know is because you guessed."
"Well, I'm very happy for you two." Mike smiles, bringing the conversation back to the beginning. "You guys deserve it."
"Thanks, but honestly, I think she deserves better. I just have to ask her before anyone else has the chance to." He jokes
"Don't start talking nonsense." I pine in "She's with you because she loves you." I assure "And because she can't find anyone better..." I mutter softly just as my bottle touches the edge of my lips and I look away.
Joey lets out a fake chuckle as we all laugh "Ha ha..."
I shake my head "I'm kidding. All jokes aside, I am happy for you guys. You two are going to make a beautiful family some day." I soften my voice "You're like a brother to me, I've seen you grow from this bachelor to a mature adult. And I'm sure one day when your 'mini me' is grown you'll pass some of your wisdom and life lessons you've learned along the way onto him." I swallow the lump in my throat "And even though I'm not too fond of it, I watch as you teach Jack a few things about how to treat a women right, and I've gotta say, it's nice to have an uncle like you in his life." I raise my beer as I motion to my best friend with honor.
Ross pats my back and I get pushed forward a little bit by the force of it. "Chandler Bing is getting sentimental..." He says "Who would have known such a thing!"
Rolling my eyes, I shove his shoulder "And that my friends, is my cue to leave." Setting my beer down I step over to the grill and lift the lid.
Hot steam escapes the burner and fogs the sunglasses on top of my head. The smell is enticing as I grab my spatula from the hook and begin flipping over a few burgers.
I love everything about this time of year; the weather, the holidays, the smell, the attitude from society once they are released from their cocoons after a long winter. All in all, it's perfect and there is nothing to complain about.
Every summer I like to keep myself busy with a project. Last year it was the deck, the year before that was a tree house, and this year was a builtin gas grill. I just finished it this week, which is how this cookout came to be. I wanted to test things out, see if the thousand dollars I put into this project was worth it. If it wasn't for the promotion at work I'd be standing over my Char-Broil American Gourmet 840 black charcoal grill right now. That thing was a piece of junk and came with the house. Who knows how old it was before I tossed it?
I feel a set of arms snake around my waist and clasp just above my belt. "How's it working?"
Monica's chin rests above my shoulder as she watches my every move.
"Really nice, I love it!" I comment, turning the left burner down slightly. "I'm sure it's 10x easier to clean than that charcoal grill, hopefully cheaper too." I chuckle "Well, at the moment it's burning a hole in my pocket. But in the end, it'll last longer and I won't have to buy a bag of charcoal every other weekend." I comment "Just a tank of propane a month and I'll be good to go." I grab my tongs and put down the spatula.
"If you're happy with it money doesn't matter..."
I feel a slight bump behind me and glance back to find Erica latched onto Monica's body.
"Hey kiddo, you hungry?" I question to which she nods. "Good."
"Do you want a hamburger or hot dog?" Monica asks as one hand leaves me to run through our messy child's pigtails.
"Hot dog!" She jumps up with excitement.
"I don't know why I bothered asking..." Monica mumbles to me before looking back down at Erica "Do you want to split it with Rye?"
Erica bites her lip before slowly shaking her head from side to side.
"Baby, you know you never finish a whole hot dog by yourself."
"Last year I didn't finish a whole hot dog by myself." She informs us "I'm 8 now, I think I can manage."
Monica and I just stare at our daughter with shock "When did you become so smart."
"When I won the 2nd Grade Spelling Bee!" She smiles wide, still proud of her achievement.
"That's right!" I reach up to close the lid before turning back around "Did you tell Uncle Ross about your award?" I question
"No!" She gasps, before running off to share the good news.
I hear Monica sigh as she turns back around to face me and I already know what she is going to say before she says it.
"I know." I reach down to intertwine her fingers with mine. "But we've talked about this." I remind her "This year just got too busy. When the new year comes around we'll look into our options and see if there is something else we can try besides adoption." Bringing her wedding band up to my lips I place a gentle kiss upon them.
"How do you know me so well?" She frowns
"Because, I love you."
And there it is, the smile I've been waiting for.
"I love you too." She leans in but before we can make contact a loud scream comes from the play ground. "Who was that?" She asks, immediately looking for our three.
"Only one way to find out..." I peck the side of her cheek before making my way over to the crime scene. "What's going on over here?" I question, coming to a stop in front of the sand box where Jack sits mischievously with Emma halfway out.
"I found a worm!" Jack smiles, showing me his hand full of sandy worm.
"Eww..." Emma's face scrunches up with discussed as she scoots even further away.
I sigh "Jack, why do you feel the need to torment you cousin with an insect that has a cylindrical tube-like body and no limbs?"
He looks at me blankly and I realize I'm speaking to the wrong kid.
"Aright, no more disturbing the birds food, go put it in the garden then you two need to wash up for dinner." I instruct before looking down at my 9 year old niece "Do you like hamburgers or hot dogs, Em?"
"Hot dogs!" She shouts, and now I know where Erica gets it.
"Okay, one hot dog coming up!" I shout back playfully and she giggles. Reaching down I help her to her feet "Now, where is Ryder?" I ask
"Ben took him potty." She explains before running off.
There are way too many kids at this house to keep track of. Where is my partner in crime when I need her? A head count would be perfect right about now.
I scan the deck for Monica only to find her disappear inside followed by the other three girls. She always knows how to round up all the kids and get them cleaned up for supper. The last thing we need is a case of some outrageous illness and a million bacteria's floating around the house. I can see her through the back door instructing all the kids to line up in front of the sink. Rachel is making her way through the crowd to give each germ filled hand a squirt of soap. Andy is on towel duty, while Monica stands off to the side inspecting each one before they pass by.
Leave it to My Love to get these kids back to normal.
AN:
Alright young inspired writers, I have a part two to this little story but I really don't know if I should post it. (Because it's not as good as part 1). Let me know if your Mondler hearts are yearning for more and I'll post it within the week :)