originally written 8/29/15. i googled the meanings of these flowers when i first wrote it, as i'm not versed in it. if they are off, that's why.

trivia time: the translation of caucus race vol. 2 (with elliot and leo on the cover) came out on my birthday in 2015. yen press and jun mochizuki said to me: i diagnose you with gay.

i: liverwort - confidence

It's not that Elliot was lying to Leo, per se, he just wasn't exactly... telling him the truth. Whatever, sue him! They were just little white lies, and he couldn't risk having Leo listen to him practice and finish the piece he was currently composing.

It was for Leo, after all, and if he heard it, that would ruin the surprise.

Also, if Leo had heard him screwing up something, or even heard the melody of the piece, he'd want to come in and help. And Elliot couldn't let him do that. For the surprise, perhaps, but also because this was something Elliot really wanted to do on his own.

To appreciate Leo. To show gratitude, and... whatever else he was feeling. Not that Elliot could really understand what his other feelings were. At least not at the moment. He'd figure it out soon enough, and, well, if he got desperate enough, he could always ask Leo.

Leo could always find out things before Elliot could.

But until he had the need to ask, he would work on his composition in secret, hide it on every occasion from Leo (until it was finished, of course), and try to work out his inner turmoil by himself.

Didn't sound too hard.

"Elliot, you're getting ahead of yourself if you think it's going to be easy," Leo piped up from the corner of their dorm room, enveloped, but clearly not fully engrossed, in a new book.

"Huh? Wait, how do you know what I'm thinking about?!"

"Maybe you should keep your thoughts to yourself sometimes, hm?"

Elliot turned over on his bed and went to sleep, covering his head with his pillow to muffle the sounds of Leo's condescending tone.

ii: deep red rose - admiration, bashful, embarrassment

Well, easier said than done.

As it turns out, sneaking out of the dorm room without Leo noticing turned out to be as hard as Elliot had expected. Or maybe even harder. Elliot really couldn't be sure.

Leo seems to be able to hear even the floorboards creaking when Elliot tries to leave. When Leo looks up from whatever novel he'd been engrossed in, Elliot panics and tenses, trying to calm his nervous, fast breathing. Leo can sense that, too.

"Elliot, where are you going? Don't you have school work to finish?" Leo asks, with a teasing edge to his voice - he knows that Elliot sometimes like to procrastinate on his homework, although the young Nightray has since grown out of his rather bad habit.

"I'm already finished! And, n-not that it's any of your business, but I'm going to train!"

Huh. Seems believable enough.

But before Elliot can pat himself on the back for successfully lying to his valet, Leo tilts his head at Elliot, smirking.

"Aren't you going to need your sword for that, master?"

Spluttering at Leo's comment (and his vague double entendre - don't even try to tell him otherwise, Elliot very well knows that's what Leo was implying), Elliot picks up his sword and basically runs out of the room, slamming the door behind him and cutting off the sound of Leo's laughter.

Good thing he finished the piece, too, otherwise, the embarrassment he experienced to make the trip to the music room wouldn't have been worth it.

iii: geranium - gentility, peaceful mind

But getting back into the dorm room was another story. Elliot had to convince Leo that he really had been training. And, well, that's not going to be easy. When Elliot comes back from training, he's always sweaty, and, according to Leo, not clean enough to be around.

So whenever Elliot will return from training, Leo will push himself into a corner with a large book and keep quiet until Elliot returns from a shower and Leo deems him passable company.

Elliot didn't sweat at all writing that piece, and he can't exactly actually go train - at least not now, it's getting too close to curfew. And if he isn't back in the room by curfew, he'll get in trouble, and there's no way Leo will be able to drag him out of this one.

Sighing, hoping that maybe he can wing it, or maybe Leo will drop the issue right away (as unlikely as both options sound), Elliot lets himself back into the dorm room.

Except, when he returns, he finds Leo, curled into a ball, asleep on... well, that's Elliot's bed, really. Leo's book is closed, no bookmark to be seen around. Which means he must have finished the book before deciding to go to sleep.

With a sigh, and a small, gentle smile, the young Nightray takes off Leo's glasses (he really hates showing his eyes, despite how mesmerizing Elliot really thinks they are), placing them on the end table. Elliot can't bring himself to move Leo, so he simply puts a blanket on top of him and decides to go to sleep in Leo's bed for tonight.

He's just lucky that Leo ended up asleep, otherwise, he would have had to tell Leo the truth about what he had really been doing today.

iv: fuchsia - confiding love

When Elliot awoke, he decided that today was the day that he'd play Leo the piece he had been so secretly writing. He hadn't been able to find any time (or confidence) to play it for him the first few days after he'd finished it, and, well, the more time passed, the more nervous and anxious Elliot grew.

"Is something the matter?" Leo asked, looking up at Elliot, "You seem rather... fidgety."

Elliot shook his head. "No, nothing's wrong. I just... I wrote something new and... I wanted to play it for you."

"Oh. Did you need help finishing it?"

Leo's interest had clearly piqued the second music had been dropped into the conversation. Elliot fought the urge to smile at his valet's love for music.

"No, it's done. I just wanted you to hear it."

...This was how Elliot found himself moments later, at the piano, ready to play the piece he had been so fussy about. He had wanted to make sure it was perfect, and, as the hours had passed in the days where he was too nervous to play the piece for Leo, he had come to a realization about his 'inner turmoil.'

In hindsight, he should have suspected the conclusion sooner.

But none of Elliot failing to notice the simplest truth mattered now. All that mattered at the moment was that he was red-faced, staring down at the keys of a grand piano, forgetting which key was what note.

"Elliot, really, are you okay? You seem out of it."

In an attempt to assuage Leo's worries, Elliot tried to play his piece, only to make silly little mistakes - and if Leo wasn't so concerned about him, Elliot knew that Leo would make fun of him for making said mistakes.

The keys clanked under his unsteady movements, until he stopped playing altogether.

Leo's eyes, behind his glasses, burned holes into Elliot's face. Despite what was really ailing Elliot, Leo was now entirely sure that his master was not fine at all.

Elliot took one last deep breath and began to play his newest composition. This time, without any mistakes - and if there were, they were overlooked (at least, for now - both Elliot and Leo would jump on them later).

"That was lovely."

"I wrote it for you," Elliot confessed before his mind had given his lips permission to.

Leo blinked, slowly, and sat down next to Elliot on the bench. "Any particular reason why?"

Elliot's blush deepened, and he could feel it creeping down his neck in white hot waves. Suddenly, the lighter spring uniforms of Lutwidge didn't feel so light.

Leo smiled devilishly - not quite a smirk, though. "I'm waiting, Elliot."

Shit. Leo already knew.

"Don't make me say it if you already know, you bastard!"

Leo chuckled, "Well, I guess I've known for months. Although, it would help me out if you would tell me. You know, just so I'm sure we're talking about the same thing."

The valet fluttered his eyelashes at him, which Elliot could only vaguely see behind Leo's glasses. An awful attempt at flirting, but the pout Leo was making at him made Elliot sigh and give in.

"Fine," he began, "I... I love you, okay?!"

Elliot flushed a strange mix of anger and embarrassment, and crossed his arms, looking down at them. His valet, next to him, held in his laughter - Elliot knew by the subtle, telltale movement of his body.

"Oh, well, good then. I was waiting for you to tell me that. After all, it's been a long while, wouldn't- mmph!"

"Yeah, yeah, we all know you're strikingly intelligent. But would you mind shutting up for once?"

Leo began to break out in a fit of laughter, only infuriating Elliot even more. Elliot had to shut him up again, and figured the only effective way was to kiss Leo quiet. Leo didn't seem to mind, though, eyes fluttering closed and hands coming to rest on Elliot's shoulders, attempting to pull him in even closer.

Yeah, things were going pretty well for Elliot, until Leo pulled away to smirk at him some more. Which caused Elliot to inwardly panic.

"I suppose I should return the sentiment, hm? Or would my master rather I wait to say it, until... later?"

"Oh, shut up, Leo."