Reasons to be me

A self-help book. Can lead to many things.

Summary: I am miserable. My crush loves someone else, my sister overshadows me, and my two best friends are dating! Will anyone ever notice me? Can a boy really make your life turn around? So completely, that everyday seems to be glowing with happiness and love? Can this be my life[Meyrin's POV, AU

Chapter One – A Book, A Boy

Crying. Sniffling. Those two sounds were common, coming from Meyrin Hawke's closed door. Her sister sighed, and shuffled into her room. She had a date with Rey tonight, so she didn't exactly have time to go and comfort her baby sister, who had went to her room, claiming she had another 'headache'. More like heartache. Luna closed her door, trying to shut out the sounds from one unhappy Meyrin Hawke.

And Meyrin was unhappy. Very much so. Life simply wasn't fair. Athrun Zala, whom she had secretly admired since the first day she spotted him at her new high school, was in love with Cagalli Yula Athha. And how could he not? She was so beautiful, confident, and his age. She had some many virtues while Meyrin looked at herself in the mirror and only saw faults. Her face wasn't bad, but with her pigtails, it made her look cute, but young. Very young. Her waist wasn't so slim as her sister's and her legs needed to be covered with long skirts. She wasn't ugly, it just seemed no one saw the shy Meyrin Hawke behind the large shadow Lunamaria always left behind. They both are so confident, and believe in themselves and others so much. I have none of that, and so people don't know I'm alive! Meyrin thought rebelliously.

Lunamaria. Her older, beautiful, self-assured sister. She had a boyfriend, has a place as captain on their school's soccer and volleyball teams even though she was merely a sophomore. Meyrin only had brains, for she hated too much exercise. Well, maybe that wasn't it. Maybe bad memories of gym class where she was always chosen last left her sting and hurt. She didn't participate in any of the school's major sports, and liked only badminton. Which did not draw much attention from the school. They didn't get court times if rugby or football needed a gym, no, they got the boot. So Meyrin's sports life was pretty limited. Her brains were another story. But being an honour-roll student also didn't get her well known. She just couldn't stand waking up feeling unhappy and trudging through the snow to catch the bus to her school where another day of being ignored greeted her gloomily.

It was even worse now. Stellar Loussier. Shinn Asuka. Her two best friends, were now dating. So they suddenly didn't seem to have too much time for her.

What am I to do? Meyrin though piteously. Then she remembered something.

Self. Help.

Yes, self-help. Miriallia, Meyrin's badminton doubles partner, (well, before she moved to mixed doubles with her boyfriend, Tolle Koenig) had mentioned how read a story of a depressed girl who write down all the happy reasons she had for living, thinking of at least one a day. Miri had mentioned it actually did make some sense, and Meyrin had silently disagreed. When you were as unhappy as she was now, your brain can only think of reasons you should… not live.

But it is worth a try. It may help, and won't do any harm. I'll try it! Meyrin jumped up, grabbed her wallet, and hopped out the door, yelling to Luna, "I'm going to the store, I'll be right back!"

Luna sighed. No doubt Meyrin was going to buy some aspirin or something. Luna honestly disapproved of using it, but Meyrin seemed to get so many headaches, that she had had to get resigned to that idea.

Meanwhile, Meyrin was running to the store. She reached it, and went inside. She knew where everything was, so she went straight to the corner where she had seen many piles of shimmering notebooks. She walked over and looked at them.

That one is pretty. It's all gold. But the silver one looks awesome too. Oh, a red one! No, the light green one over there! That's it!

Meyrin reached over and picked up the light green book. It had no lock, but that was fine. She just had to hide it somewhere. Meyrin walked up to the counter.

"Hello Meyrin. It's nice to see you on this bright day." The man behind the counter smiled at her. "Buying a notebook? For your diary?"

Meyrin flushed. "No… just for fun."

"Alright. That'll be $2.07."

Meyrin paid and then ran home again. She popped into the house and hopped into her room. She grabbed a pen and jumped on her bed.

"What to write though? Just happy thoughts? Hm…"

Well, today, Shinn talked to me for awhile. So he doesn't forget about me even though he has a girlfriend now… And then Stellar is having a party this Friday, and I will sleepover. Shinn won't be sleeping over, so I can talk to Stellar too. And… the teacher said we would get a new student in my chemistry class. Maybe she can be a new friend. Yeah! Life isn't that bad… Luna won't be here with Rey tonight; they're going out… so I don't have to feel awkward. Dad is on a business trip and won't be back for two weeks though… so I don't have to cook for him, I guess?

"Meyrin!"

"Huh? Luna?"

"MEY!"

"I'm in here!" Meyrin grumbled and sat up.

"Okay. I'm going out now. Umm, we're kinda out of milk and eggs… and bread. Can you go to the store and pick some up before it gets dark?"

Meyrin sighed. She always had to get the groceries. "Sure…"

"Thanks Mey! Love you a bunch! I'll be home at 11, maybe 12 at the very latest. Don't wait up for me! Oh, gotta go! Rey's here!" And with that, Luna was gone.

Meyrin sighed. Might as well get those groceries right now. She walked into the kitchen, and grabbed the jar that held money for food. She pulled out ten dollars and started out the door.

What a pretty day it is today. The sky is blue, the grass is green, there is a nice breeze, the sun is warm, birds are chirping, squirrels are running around. This weather makes me happy.

Meyrin walked in and bought more things, saying hi to a baffled Mr. Hayzen, who was wondering why she went on two separate trips.

Meyrin grabbed the bag that held her food, and walked out the door. At the door, she noticed her shoelace was untied, and bent down outside the door to tie it, placing her bag beside her. All of a sudden, a body crashed down beside her, causing her to jump.

"Eek!" She squealed. A blue-haired boy lay at her feet, his skateboard digging into her bag of food, milk spilt, eggs cracked, and brad smushed.

"Err… excuse me… are you okay?" she asked him. The boy got up, and groaned. Meyrin's eyes widened. The boy's nose was bleeding quite severely, but that wasn't it. He was so… cute. His eyes were aqua, and his hair was such a pretty blue when the sun shone on it. He looked so cute.

"Ugh… Tezu."

"Pardon me?"

The boy lifted his hand from his bleeding nose, and said again, "Tissue!"

"Oh! Right… umm, I think I may have one…" Meyrin felt her pockets. None. She jumped up, and then felt them again. Flat. Ugh. Meyrin checked her back pockets. Nothing. Then she heard the boy laugh.

"What's so funny?" she asked him, somewhat indignantly.

"You." He said, grinning up at her. "You look funny jumping around like that."

Meyrin huffed. "Well, excuse me! If someone didn't ask for a tissue!"

The boy laughed. "Yeah. Good point. Never mind though." He got up, and wiped his bleeding nose on his sleeve.

"Eww!" Meyrin grimaced. "It's still bleeding."

"I'll be fine. Though I can't say the same about your groceries. Here, I'll give you a IOU." The boy ripped a piece of paper from his pocket, and wrote "IOU" on it, and handed it to her. "I'll find ya."

"Find me?"

"Yeah, to pay you back." The boy glanced at his watch. "Whew! Gotta split! Later, Red!"

Red? A nickname? Meyrin smiled. She looked at her reflection in the store window, and realized she was very red. Oh no! I was blushing the whole time! Like an idiot! No! But… he is so cute. Wait! No, I don't know his name!

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Well… how was it? I got the idea randomly… wrote a bit of it, then found it just now and wrote out the rest of the chapter… please review, I need opinions and feedback:)