~Phil~
Phil knew his luck wasn't the best. Bad things always happened and every time he would create an unlikely apocalyptic scenario ("At least an ostrich hasn't eaten my eyes!") to feel better about the situation.
This was one of those situations.
Now, he wasn't one to meaninglessly hate on teachers, classes or subjects. He always tried his best to actually enjoy his miserable time in school. But sometimes, it just didn't worked.
When Mr. Smith – Phil's English teacher – had announced that they would be presenting a project for their final assignment, he had been overjoyed. That just meant he'd have one less class to study for. Besides, he liked English.
But when he found out that he would have to work in pairs, he felt undecided. It wasn't that he didn't like talking to people or working with them, he just preferred not to.
But, hey, it can't be that bad, right?
In hindsight, he cursed himself for jinxing the situation.
Of course, he just had to be paired with the lonely, quiet kid at the back of the class.
He tried to be optimistic.
Maybe he's secretly outgoing and confident?
Nope.
Phil went up to him after class to discuss their project. He had placed his hand on the boy's shoulder and decided to be his usual smiling self; when the stupid boy elbowed him in the stomach.
"Ow!" Phil had stumbled back in pain.
"Sorry, I just don't like being touched." That's what he had said. Phil was, of course, very annoyed but he forgave him.
"I'm Phil. Your partner for the English project." Phil had tried to smile at him.
"I'm Dan." He had said timidly. Phil tried to place Dan's face in his memories of school but he came up with nothing.
"I don't see you around here a lot. Are you new?" Phil had tried not to sound rude in any way.
"I moved here last year." Dan's gaze had not left his feet. "I stay with Louise. You know her?"
"Louise! Of course!" Phil then remembered. Louise had mentioned Dan before. She'd said something about Dan being her cousin, who had moved in with her because his parents didn't want him or something. Phil wasn't really sure.
"Um…so, about the project?" Dan had finally looked up at him. Phil would have called his brown eyes to be soft and warming, if they weren't sporting a glare and dark purple bags.
"Yeah, so I was thinking we should set up a time and place to discuss it properly?" Phil remembered feeling awkward.
"Okay. I could come over to your place after–"
"No!" Phil had shouted too loudly. "I mean, no. I could come over to yours? Does 5:30 sound okay for today?"
"Um.. Sure." Dan had looked strangely at him. Phil hadn't meant to shout but he had gotten jumpy. He had been sure that his mum wouldn't have appreciated Dan (or anyone, for that matter) coming over.
That's how he'd found himself walking in the cold to his friend Louise's house. The evening was somewhat relaxing. Grey clouds littered the sky and he could smell the coming rain.
He shoved his slightly blue hands into his pocket and turned another corner. He had been friends with Louise for a while but nothing too serious. Now that he thought about it, he would occasionally see Dan and Louise together during lunch break.
He spotted the pastel blue coloured house down the street and quickened his pace. He pushed open the sturdy metal gate and made his way to the front door.
Before his fingers could push the doorbell, the smiling face of Louise's mum greeted him. "Phil! My, my, you're freezing! Come on in!" She tugged him in and helped him pull off his coat.
"Thank you, Mrs. Pent–" He began but stopped when she gave him a pointed look. "I mean; thank you, Julia." He corrected himself and she smiled approvingly.
"It's been ages, dear, you should come over more often." She walked into lounge and Phil followed her, dumping his bag on one of the sofas. She called up the stairs, "Louise! Dan! Phil's here!"
Since the last time Phil was here the room had changed very little. The sofas were a pale shade of blue that matched the curtains. The walls were a faded white and a dark brown coffee table sat in the middle. The lounge was connected to an open kitchen; it had black and white cupboards and shelves that complimented a silver breakfast bar with matching stools.
Phil heard a rhythmic tapping of feet above him. Louise rushed down the stairs and hugged him. "Phil!"
"Hey, Louise." They parted and he smiled at her. "How are you doing?"
"I'm good!" She beamed at him. "I just didn't expect you here."
"Dan didn't tell you?" Phil tilted his head. "He called me over for our English project."
"Oh?" Louise looked slightly disappointed, almost as if she were offended he'd hide something from her.
"Dan!" Julia called again. Phil heard a muffled response from him.
"Phil, I'm making some hot chocolate, would you like some?" She smiled.
"Yes, thank you." He grinned and sat down on one of the breakfast bar stools.
Dan finally emerged from upstairs. Phil smiled at him but he didn't return it. Phil noticed that he hadn't changed out from the clothes he'd worn to school; tight black pants and a white jumper, although he had removed his dark jacket. His brown hair was straight and pushed to one side. Phil noticed that his ears were pierced but hidden under his long hair.
A loud ring echoed through the house.
"Oh!" Julia clapped. "That'll be the pizza!" She rushed towards the door and soon emerged with pizza boxes.
"I hope you don't mind pizza, Phil." She set down the boxes.
"You're kidding?" Louise laughed and poked Phil's side. "This guy is like the Cookie Monster. Except, for pizza."
"The Pizza Monster." Phil poked her back. "I'm trademarking that."
"Well, I'm glad." Julia laughed and opened the boxes. Pepperoni. Phil's favourite. "I'll get out the plates and–"
"Actually, Mrs. Pentland," Dan spoke for the first time. "Can Phil and I take our share upstairs? We should really start working on our project."
"Of course dear, anything you need. I'll bring in the hot chocolate in a bit?" Julia smiled sweetly at him. Phil noticed that she hadn't corrected him when he called her Mrs. Pentland but he didn't say anything.
"Yes, thank you." Dan said. He quickly grabbed a plate and helped himself to a slice. Phil, however, didn't mind living up to his title to the Pizza Monster™.
"Is that all you're gonna eat?" Louise eyed Dan's plate.
"I had a big lunch." Dan tried to force a reassuring smile but Phil knew that Louise wasn't convinced. He didn't say anything.
Dan rushed up the stairs almost as if to avoid any further altercation and Phil tagged along. Dan entered a room to the right at the end of the hallway and set his plate down.
Phil immediately thought that the room fit Dan's personality perfectly. It was bare and neat. A single bed was pushed against the wall and nightstand stood next to it. A bookcase stood next to the closet which seemed to be the only source of colour. The walls were peeling and the bedding was a faded white.
Dan sat down on the bed and Phil stood in front of him awkwardly. He finally decided to sit down on the floor.
"Um… So, the project?" Dan cleared his throat.
"Oh, yeah." Phil remembered why he was there. "Do you know what it's about?"
"Not really. I wasn't paying attention." Dan said.
Oh, this is gonna be great.
"We have to talk about a book we've read over the semester." Phil explained whilst taking another bite off his pizza slice.
"Like a speech?" Dan looked nervous. Phil noticed how badly his hands were shaking.
"Kind of," Phil wiped his mouth. "More like a presentation. Like a PPT and a little explaining, maybe?"
"Oh…" Dan chewed on his lip. "Do you have a book in mind?"
"I was thinking Hamlet?" Phil said. He felt his eyes light up. God, he was such a nerd.
"Hamlet…" The corner of Dan's mouth stretched in a slight smile. "We could do that."
"Yeah, we could base the theme around decisions and self-doubt?" Phil reached for another slice and noticed that Dan hadn't touched his plate.
"How much do you wanna bet that at least five other pairs will do the same thing?"
"Fine." Phil said. "We could always do a character sketch."
"Hmm…" Dan pressed his lips together. "We could do it on Ophelia?"
"Ophelia?" Phil eyed Dan. "I don't know…"
Phil had a weird feeling. He understood why Dan would say Ophelia's name. She was thought to be the side character. The character that went mad. The character that everyone felt sad for but only just. The character that was so much more complex when studied.
"Yeah, you're right, it's a stupid idea–"
"No, no." Phil beamed. "It's a great idea!"
Phil felt his inner nerd burst out.
"We could talk about her personality." Phil looked at Dan, wide-eyed. "Did she actually go mad? Or was that just a story she made up? We could talk about her death! Why did Gertrude describe her death to be such an accident? Why didn't she save her? Did she really just fall into the lake and drown or was it a suicide attempt? If so, why? Oh! And we could talk about her flowers! You know, how they were a kind of her way of passing judgment. How she made her decisions when Hamlet was stuck between his 'to be or not to be'? This could totally work!
"Dude, we talk about her death specifically. Like how it's tied to teenagers and sort of have an effect on our lives and decisions? Teachers eat that stuff right up. Suicide and mental health? This is a great idea!"
Dan stared at him with his mouth slightly open, like he couldn't process what Phil was saying.
"Y-Yeah." Dan looked way more uncomfortable than before and Phil wasn't sure why.
Phil opened his mouth to say something when Louise barged in the room with a tray of hot chocolates.
"I hope I'm not–" She began.
"Um, could you excuse me? I need to go to the bathroom." Dan said quickly and rushed out of the room.
"Did I do anything wrong?" Louise eyed Phil.
"I'm not sure…" Phil felt confused. Why had Dan left so suddenly?
Louise set down the tray and placed her hands on her hips. She looked at Dan's untouched plate like it had called her baby ugly, "Tell me if he finishes that."
"Um, sure." Phil rubbed the back of his neck.
Louise sighed, "I just worry about him."
"I can see why." Phil tried to laugh. "Don't worry, he'll be okay."
Louise bit her lip, "I hope so."
She looked at the plate forlornly for another few seconds and then finally said, "Call if you need anything." Phil nodded and she left.
Phil had always liked Louise. She was kind and caring. She would smile and support you no matter what. The best part was that she like Mario Kart.
Phil finished everything on his plate and set it aside. He wondered why Dan was taking so long.
Phil stared at the slightly open door until Dan finally arrived. He seemed to be shaking more than before. He hurriedly sat down on the bed and ignored Phil's questioning looks. His posture made him look vulnerable; slouched back, arms held close and wild eyes of a cornered animal.
"Dan?" Phil reached for him.
"Leave it." Dan swatted him away.
Phil noticed a dark red blotch on his right arm. He will have said it was pizza sauce up he knew for a fact that pizza sauce didn't spread around cloth so quickly.
The truth hit Phil like a brick wrapped in sandpaper.
Phil grabbed Dan's wrist, "Dan, it's okay."
"Let me go!" Dan shrieked and tried to pull his arm away. Phil maintained his grip. He realised how thin and frail Dan was. If he wanted, he could just snap his wrist in half.
"Dan, it's fine. I'm here." Phil faced Dan's forearm. Three long streaks of red ran across Dan's then white jumper.
Dan cut himself.
Phil didn't know what to do. He wanted to help Dan but he knew that it was a delicate situation. He subconsciously wondered what he done to cause Dan to rush off and cut himself.
"Fucking leave me!" Dan screeched. He looked at Phil with wide pleading eyes filled with helplessness.
Phil let go.
Dan crumpled into himself.
Phil stared at him.
"Please leave." Dan choked out.
Phil muttered an apology and left. Louise and Julia gave him funny looks but he ignored them.
God, he was such an idiot!
Granted that there were worse ways to react but his wasn't the best. His arms… There was so much blood…
Phil realised that Dan cutting himself wasn't an act a stupid teenager would just do. There was just too much blood and his eyes were too wild. His reasons were more complex.
Dan's arms pushed Phil back into an old memory. The first time he had encountered someone who did that to themselves.
It reminded Phil of his mother.
He was in middle school when he had come home to find his mother in a red and overflowing bathtub. He had quickly called the ambulance and then; he just stared at her. He knew his mother wasn't like everyone else's. She got anxious whenever anyone came over and barely left the house. She slept through the day and woke up at night to drink vodka. She was so thin and weak. Phil took care of her. He didn't want to leave her like his father.
When he left Dan's house he made a promise to himself. He wasn't going to leave Dan like his father left his mom. He didn't care that he barely knew Dan. He would do anything.
"I'll help you, Dan." He told the cold wind and headed back home.