The Three-Day Storm
By Marianne Bennet

A/N: I'll be quick, I promise: it might be a good idea for readers to read my other Mass Effect fan fic story, Crippled, before reading this. It'll put Joker's feelings in context and give major insight into the incident that he and Shepard allude to. Crippled is short; I promise! Other than that, this will be a story published in three parts. Enjoy!

Part One, A Few Good Men

The end is in the beginning and yet you go on. Samuel Becket, Endgame

71 hours, 36 minutes before the event:

"They're talking about taking the Normandy away."

Joker' head snapped up from where it had been lulling against his left shoulder. What the hell was Katherine Shepard talking about down there? Where was she anyway? He'd know if she was in the comm. room and she wasn't. He flipped through the different frequencies on the ship, the familiar feel of the channel control buttons rubbing against the pad of his right index finger, until he thought he found the right one: the mess hall. Sure enough, he could hear Wrex and Vakarian arguing and Shepard trying to get a word in. But listening in wasn't enough...

"Hey, Helen?" Joker craned his neck around. "Yo, Ensign Gray, could I get some visual on the mess? It'd be, uh, camera two-five-six, I think. Hey! Hello? Over here!"

Ensign Helen Gray was a tall, passably pretty woman in her mid to late twenties who had served with the Alliance for six years. She had a no-nonsense manner and a broad smile and Joker always thought that his life would be a lot simpler if only he could get himself to fall in love with someone like Helen Gray. Get hitched, move to Montana or wherever she was from, live a generally worry-free life. Of course, he couldn't do that, knowing what he knew.

"Are you trying to spy on the commander again?" asked Helen from her targeting station.

"She's talking about my baby!" Joker protested. "And, besides, I only listened in on her conversations once. Once! And I didn't even try to ask for visual. How's that for self-control?"

Helen raised her eyebrows. "From what I heard, it was a pretty intense conversation with the staff lieutenant."

"You were listening in too?"

"No, I get all of my information from ship scuttlebutt. It's only you who feels the need to go directly to the source." She flipped a few switches and her station dimmed. Getting up, Helen added, "Besides, we're going dark for the shift. A few other crewmembers and I are hitting Flux. You want to come with me?"

"No, ma'am," replied Joker promptly, remembering his last visit to Flux all too well. It took Joker a moment to realize that he had just been asked out. "I mean, uh, thanks for the offer but I've got that party for Captain Anderson's appointment to the Council and… stuff."

"No worries," said Helen. "Have fun. I guess it'll be a little cocktail mixer with the aliens. Don't drink their stuff is what I've always said. Have fun spying on Shepard."

As she exited, Joker tried again to get visual on the mess, all to no avail. He glanced around and, seeing that there was no one in the area to help him up, made himself swing his legs out and around to the right. Nothing cracking; good sign so far.

Buckling on his braces, Joker tried to come up with whatever Shepard could have been talking about but seemed to possess a lack of imagination; all he could think of was Katherine Shepard herself with her blue eyes and coppery red hair, that night when she had gotten so drunk and… did something that seemed so inconceivable that Joker told himself never to think about it but think about it he did and that wasn't helping anyone. It especially wasn't helping Joker, especially not when Kate Shepard was bunking down with Kaidan Alenko and the whole crew knew about it. Definitely not helping, thought Joker to himself as he hoisted himself to his feet by his crutches and made his way down the command deck.

Stairs; god, he hated stairs but Joker gritted his teeth and continued in his strange "lurch-and-shuffle" gait all of the way down the stairs and into the mess, listening intently to the voices that drifted up the corridor:

"I am unfamiliar with human politics, commander," he heard Liara say as he rounded the corner, "but this reasoning on the part of the Alliance seems most illogical."

"Liara's right," Garrus added. Joker noted that he had ceased calling the asari "Dr. T'Soni." Maybe there was an intention there. "Shepard alone has done more for the galaxy than the entire Alliance combined. Something's up here, commander, even if you don't want to think it's Anderson."

"It isn't Anderson," replied Katherine Shepard testily. She's always refused to see anything but the best in the captain, Joker reflected. It's funny because it works both ways. Always been that way, since she was put under his command, what, seven years back?

Shepard nodded to Joker as he entered and gestured for him to sit. He did so, taking a seat beside Kaidan who nodded at him in greeting as well. Joker did not know why he was suddenly annoyed by Kaidan's gesture but he was. He still sat and fixed his green eyes on Shepard. "What's going on with the Normandy?"

Suddenly transfixed by nonexistent dirt beneath her fingernails –Joker knew her well enough to know what she was up to –Shepard answered, "They want her to go back to Alliance Command."

"But she's already an Alliance ship," replied Joker, determined not to comprehend.

She glared at him and opened her mouth to speak but Kaidan cut her off. "The rear admiral seems to be trying to pull the plug on the Normandy and her commander," he told Joker bluntly. "He's making the argument that, with the coming term of service, the Normandy and her crew should be put back under his jurisdiction, since he already lost us for an entire term already when Shepard became a Spectre."

"Well, that's just ridiculous," said Joker with disgust. "Are we talking about the moron who asked you if you knew what color your blood was or something? Is this the same guy who came in here and started cracking wise about my baby? Cracking wise, you know, for an old guy. Because we shouldn't have to pay attention to him, you know."

Shepard sighed. "Unfortunately, he does command a lot of respect with the brass. We're going to have to pay him lip service at the bare minimum."

"But you're Commander Shepard!" Tali exclaimed, seemingly perplexed. "You heard what the Council called you: the savior of the Citadel! And it's true. That has to count for something."

With a grin, she replied, "It does count for something, Tali: it's the reason Kaidan, Joker, the rest of the crew, and I haven't all been court-martialed. Even if I saved the galaxy, I've got to answer to someone."

"You can't just let them take away my baby!"

"I'm not going to let them do that, Joker. Relax."

"Well, it can't be Mikhailovich being a self-righteous ass all by himself," said Garrus, rubbing his chin –was it his chin? Why did nobody ever tell Joker what the hell that thing was? Save him from future embarrassing bar situations –against his… hand? "Not when we're talking about humanity's first Spectre anyway. These backroom politics have to be orchestrated by someone else and, if you're certain it can't be Captain Anderson, I'd call out Udina."

"The ambassador wasn't too happy when you nominated the captain to the council rather than him," Kaidan said to Shepard.

"Exactly my reasoning. Commander, believe me when I say that there is nothing worse than one of those damn bureaucrats with those poles up their–"

"Alright, Garrus, I see your point," interrupted Shepard, fighting down another grin. "I agree that it isn't Mikhailovich working alone and you're spot on to suspect Udina. Just don't go spreading those opinions around, especially not tonight. They haven't taken the Normandy out from under us yet and I don't plan to let them. Just stay sharp at the party and let me know if you hear anything."

Joker raised his hand into the air. Shepard sighed. "No, you may not confront the rear admiral at the party." His hand was still raised. "Nor can you take the ambassador out for a 'little talk.'" Seeing that his hand was still in the air and his expression was serious, she said, "What is it, Joker?"

"Is there anything else I can do to help, commander?"

She looked at him for a moment. It felt like a very long moment to Joker and he almost regretted asking. He didn't though; it felt good to know that he had her attention. "Just, you know," she finally said, "stay strong. All of you. We've all been through some rough times and we're all a little on edge. This will probably turn out to be nothing…"

"Then why are you telling us this?" Wrex spoke up for the first time since Joker arrived. "You wouldn't be so worried if it was 'nothing.'"

"I'm telling you this because I want you all to have this in the back of your minds tonight. This won't be a party for leisure, not for us when we know what we know. The Reapers are out there and, when they come, there will be no hiding places. I'm telling you this because we all have an agenda; until they send the excavation times to Ilos, Liara, Garrus, and I are the only ones who have listened to Vigil."

"I did," said Joker very quietly, "or some of it at least. I was listening in on your suit's comm. but the signal got fainter the closer I got to Arcturus."

"How much do you hear?" asked Kaidan curiously.

I heard you babble like an idiot when you tried to flirt with her, time before last we were on the Citadel, thought Joker. You just didn't know where she'd been the night before. Aloud, he said, "A lot. Commander, do I have to shave for this thing tonight? Tell me so I can submit my resignation now, effective immediately. I'll sign back on in the morning."

"Alright, crew dismissed," Shepard sighed. "Just remember that there are battles in other places besides the field. We know already that the Reapers are something that people don't want to believe in. If we're really going to fight them with a chance of survival, we need to make everyone see things that they don't want to see. It isn't going to be easy. Do me proud tonight."

She blinked a couple of times and then said irritably, "Didn't I dismiss you already? You don't have to stick around for a big long speech, you know."

"I think we all were planning to, commander," said Liara softly. No one disagreed with her and even Kaidan nodded a little.

Shepard smiled. "Alright. But you all have to leave anyway because I don't have an inspirational speech planned. Just look your best and do what you can. Now, dismissed. For real this time."

This time, they obeyed for the most part; Joker remained seated, contemplating how best to swing his fragile legs around and get up. He glanced around and noticed with a scowl that Kaidan had put his crutches up against the far wall. Great. Now he was marooned down here. Marooned: some old word from a time when humanity's ships had stuck to the oceans. Good God, it must be hell to get marooned in this day and age, if such things still happened…

While Joker's thoughts ran away with him, Kaidan walked over to his commander and said, "Are you okay?"

Katherine Shepard perched herself up upon the mess's solitary table and said, "I'm a little tired… but I don't think that that's any fault of mine."

"No one can blame you for bad dreams."

"I think there may be other reasons I'm not getting much sleep, lieutenant."

If it had been anyone else, Joker might have gagged, or at least pretended to. But it was Kate Shepard and he only stared at his hands as Kaidan replied, "I didn't realize you were talking about that."

"Are you surprised?" Shepard smiled up at him.

He chuckled. "I suppose I shouldn't be. You've kept me awake too, you know. But we should be more careful, especially if we don't want to get ourselves court-martialed."

"We should be more careful? How so?"

"Talking in front of Joker, for example." Kaidan's eyes had met the pilot's over Shepard's shoulder. The lieutenant winced apologetically and Shepard swiveled around to face Joker. He looked at her boldly and their eyes met briefly before her gaze slid away. Joker saw something in that hesitation; he saw that she had known from the beginning that he had been there.

"Hey, don't mind me," he replied with a weak little wave. "I don't mind all of this PDA –really –so long as you keep the other stuff to the captain's quarters and all. Believe me, of all of things I could say to Mikhailovich…"

"Sorry, Joker," said Shepard with a slight look of embarrassment –probably for Kaidan's sake, Joker noted -"We know you wouldn't say anything to get us in trouble but, please, keep it to yourself." As if everyone on this ship doesn't already know…

"And, if I were you," Kaidan picked up where Joker left off, "I wouldn't say anything to the rear admiral regardless. We're in a tight enough position as it is."

"Yeah, I get it: remind Joker not to screw things up. God, what a tool I am–"

"You know what he means," Shepard cut in, a note of warning in her tone. "If you're going to drink anything tonight, don't go talking to anyone important. That goes for everyone."

"Then why am I the only person you're talking to?"

"Because you're the only one who's going that I have to worry about this for!" She had gotten to her feet by then and Kaidan had his hands on her shoulders, subtly grounding her.

Joker met her eyes again and said, "Are you sure about that, commander?"

Kaidan's grip on her shoulders remained steady until he saw the tension in her shoulders release. Shepard broke her gaze with Joker and then turned her face to look at her staff lieutenant. "I'm fine," she told Kaidan. "I'm fine. It's okay. I just need a pain killer."

He let her shoulders go and she turned away from Joker in one swift movement. As Shepard walked in the direction of the med-bay, Kaidan turned to Joker and said, "It's fine. She's just been a little… on edge lately."

"'On edge'? Is that what you call 'on edge,' Alenko? Seriously? What's 'freaking out' to you then?"

"She's been through a lot these past few weeks, okay?" Kaidan shot back. "And, honestly, Joker, you already know that and still nothing you said to her really helped."

Joker said nothing for a moment, considering this. "Alright, I get it. Look, I'm sorry that I broke up your little love fest. I shouldn't have done that. You said she's been having bad dreams?"

"Yeah."

"Well, what about?"

"Same old, same old: Sovereign may have been destroyed but that doesn't mean that she's forgotten about the Protheans and the Reapers. I think that last battle with Saren shook her up a bit."

"Does she still dream about Akuze?"

"Not that I'm aware of. Did she ever? I mean, I imagine she did but… did she tell you that?"

Internally, Joker smiled at this small victory but he was careful to compose his face into an expression of concern. Damn it, he was concerned about his commander. "I don't know but one might think so. When'd she hear about the Normandy?"

"I'm not sure," answered Kaidan with a frown. "I'd like to think she would have told me –us, the crew I mean –immediately. But she's not like that. Something's up with her; it isn't just you, Joker, is what I mean to say."

"So, I take it that things aren't all quiet on the romantic front?" Kaidan shook his head and Joker added, "I wish she had told me."

"Why?"

"So that I could've gotten a chance to wrap my head around it."

"I think she's still trying to wrap her head around it. Besides, we still don't know if anything will happen."

"Oh, come on Kaidan, we're fighting giant machines from the far reaches of dark space that no one wants to believe in! Something's gotta happen. The question is: what's it going to be?"

"Isn't it always?" said Kaidan with a sigh as he handed Joker his crutches. "Well, as long as we have Commander Shepard on our side…"

"Why do you always call her that?" Joker broke back in irritably. "It's always 'Commander Shepard' this and 'Commander Shepard' that." He pulled himself up to his feet. "You don't call her anything else, seems like."

Kaidan's face darkened slightly. "She's my commanding officer, Joker, and that's all she can be for me in public. Maybe in private we can be something other than Commander Shepard and her staff lieutenant but not under other circumstances."

"Must be rough," replied Joker, genuinely sympathetic for once.

"Yeah," he agreed glumly, "it can be. But the galaxy needs a Commander Shepard right now. It would be a disservice to the entire galaxy if I stood in her way, no matter how much I care about her. All I seem to be able to do is help her in any way I can and maybe get a few moments alone with her every now and then."

"You seem to get quite a few 'moments.'"

He shrugged, unfazed. "It's the calm before the storm, Joker; somehow, I think you and Kate feel it the most. We may have some time now but who knows how long that's going to last? Maybe after –if there is an after –there will be more opportunity but until then…"

"Okay," said Joker, slightly abashed and a little ashamed. "We want all the time we can get, right?"

"You have anybody waiting for you back home?" Kaidan started towards the medical bay; Joker followed.

"Nah, Mom's been gone these past couple of years. Never had a father. And, besides, the only person in this galaxy that I really, really, really care about is on this ship." Kaidan stared at Joker for a moment until the pilot clarified: "Me."

"Yeah, okay Joker," Kaidan rolled his eyes as he flipped the switches of the med-bay door. "I'm just glad that I know who I'm fighting for."

The door slid open and Dr. Chakwas glanced up from her desk as Kaidan and Joker entered. "Ah, if it isn't my favorite patients."

Joker shot her a look. "Sometimes I feel that we're your only patients, doc."

"You're my only regulars. Let's hope things stay that way."

"Is the commander in here?"

"Over here." Shepard waved at them as she emerged from the backroom.

Must've been talking to Liara, Joker reflected. Shepard crossed the room with a smile; there was a brightness to her eyes that had not been there previously. Joker smiled to see it and then reminded himself that he was angry with her. It was no use though; he could never stay mad at her for long. It was easier to be angry with Kaidan for no good reason, as he discovered when Kaidan touched Shepard's shoulder and said, "You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Do you want to talk about, you know, what we just found out?" Joker never envied the lieutenant more than he did in that particular moment, especially when he heard Shepard's response:

She stepped closer to Kaidan, so close that Joker was certain Kaidan could feel her breath on his skin. "We can talk about it all night," she murmured. "That is, if talking is all you want to do."

Again, there had been a time when Joker would have said something sarcastic, something along the lines of protesting his innocence, but he said nothing and earned himself a funny look from Dr. Chakwas. The honest-to-God truth of it was is that he didn't know what to say. He had no claim on Katherine Shepard; he wasn't entitled to call her "Kate" or take offense at her love interest of choice. How could he say anything?

But now Shepard was staring at him and he couldn't hide from her the way he thought he could hide from the doctor; the commander would always come looking for him. So, he forced a blind smile and said, "You never did answer my question about shaving, commander."

"Shaving isn't an issue," said Shepard. "Not for tonight. Not hats inside though."

"I like the hat!"

"I do too," she replied and he felt rewarded by the warmth of her smile. "But you know how it goes. It's Anderson's party anyway; take your hat off for the captain."

He looked her in the eyes again, deliberately defying himself again. "I don't take my hat off for just anyone. You know that, right?"

The look on her face revealed that she remembered very well but she didn't flinch. She didn't sound angry though, merely apologetic as she said, "Okay." She glanced to Kaidan. "I need a shower. Just… look presentable, Joker." She nodded to the doctor. "Thanks for the meds, doctor."

"See you later, Joker," said Kaidan as he and Shepard departed.

Joker scratched the back of his head and was surprised when Dr. Chakwas's voice broke into his thoughts: "It's strange," she said, "seeing a hero of the Alliance acting like that."

"Yeah," he made himself grin. "Way she was acting, you'd think she's dragging Alenko back to her bunk right now. Funny."

"I was actually talking about you, Jeff."

"Funnier, doc. Didn't know you had this amazing sense of humor. I'm no hero; I'm just the guy who sits in the big chair and watches buttons flash. I leave the heroics to Commander Shepard and her Staff Lieutenant Alenko. They're the only ones that that al-Jilani woman ever talks about anyway."

"The commander would have never survived Therum let alone landed on Ilos without you," said Dr. Chakwas, and Joker was surprised at the sharpness in her tone. "You remember that. I've also heard that the admiralty may present you with a medal."

Joker had been fishing around in the doctor's secret food stash while she spoke. Through a mouthful of cookie, he replied, "Don't want no medal."

"Of course you do," she said reprovingly. "You've wanted recognition ever since you joined the service; don't be difficult with me."

"You sound like my mom."

"Sometimes I think I am. Is something going on between you and Shepard?"

He could not keep the color from rushing to his face. "No," he answered hotly. "I thought it was pretty clear who she's going with. You got your head stuck in the sand, doc?"

"I'm perfectly aware of the happenings on this ship," she said reasonably. "Scuttlebutt more than satisfies my curiosity. But then I see you and Alenko in here with her and it feels like I'm watching tug-of-war game. And, while my opinions are not necessarily objective, she looks at you quite a bit."

"She looks at me and sees a cripple. Last time I checked, cripples don't win 'tug-of-war' games." Joker started towards the door. "You want to know what's up with me and Kate? Well, it's the same old, same old, doc."

65 hours, 21 minutes before the event:

"Back on Earth, Finch and I used to spy on grand old state events in Johannesburg," Katherine Shepard commented as she struggled with her shoes. "I never understood why all of those politicians' wives wanted to torture themselves with their shoes. Made a God-awful spectacle of themselves. So many of them were taller than their husbands; it was a little absurd."

"I think it may be a similar thing among the asari," replied Liara pensively as she zipped up the back of her white gown. "I under understood why my mother felt the need to parade about in a pinstriped suit. Perhaps it was for the attention. Perhaps it was for…" She suddenly cast her gaze downward.

Shepard abandoned the gray shoe, dropping it upon the floor of her cabin, and placed a hand upon Liara's shoulder. "I'm sorry," said Liara, a babbling tone beginning to creep into her voice. "I guess I'm the one who is making a spectacle of myself now."

"It's okay," said Shepard, gently squeezing her shoulder. "We all lose people we care about. We all know how it feels like. We all cry and we –most of us anyway –don't think less of anyone for doing the same."

"Thank you, Katherine," said Liara with a weak but nonetheless genuine smile. "It is a kind thing for you to say. Not that I mean that you rarely say kind things but…" she sighed.

"It's no trouble, Liara," she replied. "Like I said, it's something we all go through."

"Like you with Gunnery Chief Williams?"

"Yeah." Shepard's heart went south at the memory. "Ash was one of my best friends. I don't have many best friends. I'm still not over losing her and I'm not sure I'll ever really be."

"It was a difficult decision for you to make but at least you were able to preserve the lieutenant's life."

"I don't like making those choices, but I will if I have to." She returned to her desk chair and resumed her struggle with the shoe. "I suppose I never really thought for a second that I'd ever be in those women's places."

"You needn't," said the asari scientist with another smile. "You are not a politician's wife nor are you a politician. You are Commander Shepard."

"I'm more worried about becoming a politician's tool or puppet, scapegoat or poster girl. I already openly endorsed one candidate for an important position; I'm wondering if that may have been a mistake."

"I'm sure that Captain –I mean, Councilor Anderson won't ask any favors of you unless it is absolutely necessary."

"It isn't Anderson that I'm worried about."

"Even so, I think you can rely on him to protect your interests when dealing with the Council or the Alliance."

Shepard smiled for the first time. "Anderson's a good man: reliable. I just wish I had your confidence, Liara."

"You'll find it," she responded, reassurance in her voice, "and, while we are on the topic of good men, why don't you tell me about the lieutenant?"

She heard Liara's comment but chose to focus on her fingers fiddling with the straps that crossed over her right ankle. "It's funny," she responded abruptly. "I disarmed that nuke two weeks back with seconds to spare but I can't seem to negotiate my own shoes. These aren't my shoes anyway; it was nice of Anderson's secretary to–"

"Shepard…" Liara wrinkled her nose.

With a sigh, Shepard seemed to allow a façade to drop from her face. "Now that's a real minefield." She drummed her fingers against the material of the desk: a pleasant, constant clanging noise. "There's something… don't want to say unsatisfactory – but there's something… empty about it. It's not about him; no, that wouldn't be fair to Kaidan. I just… I just know that there's something missing."

"How so?" inquired Liara, a wrinkle creasing her brow. "There did seem to be something… off with you and he of late though I could not quite name its nature. Please, tell me what is distressing you even if I cannot offer any solutions."

"I'm not saying that anything is wrong." She got up and crossed the room, wobbling slightly on the thin stems of her high-heeled shoes. She reached out for the wall and added, "I'm just saying that something doesn't feel right. There's a difference."

"Do you think so?"

Katherine Shepard didn't know what to think but she kept that fact to herself. There was something strange in the way Kaidan looked at her, something that made her feel as though he saw things in her that she didn't feel were there. At first, she had liked it, had appreciated the heightened reflection of herself that she saw in his eyes; now she felt as though she could never be good enough. She resented that.

"He wants me to be something that I'm not," she finally answered. "In front of other people, he still treats me like I'm Commander Shepard which is fine, I guess. But even when we're alone… he can't seem to disengage from it. It's like he expects me to be Commander Shepard all of the time and still it isn't just that. It's a Commander Shepard that I can't be, someone who is invincible –and by that I mean someone who can look into the future and see… children." Shepard sighed heavily. "In short, someone who can't or won't die. In my line of work, that isn't possible. You'd think he'd get that, being a soldier and all–"

"Has he said so much to you?" Liara pressed, trying to glean as much information as possible.

"Not so much but I can always sort of tell what Kaidan's thinking," she admitted. "He never really tells me anything directly anymore so it's little things like we hear that his friend Matt's having a son and they're naming the baby John. Then he says that he's always wanted a son named Erik and then he smiles at me. Then, he asks me what I want to name my kids."

Fighting down a smile, Liara asked, "And what do you want to name your children?"

"If I live that long?" she asked wryly. "Probably Lucas and Ashley. Maybe Christopher. Why?"

"It's just good to hear that you have plans other than sacrificing yourself for the good of the galaxy. I'm sure that the lieutenant would like to know the same."

"I'm not big on people sacrificing themselves for the 'greater good.' It's about this time that I'd like a day to be selfish and not throw myself into hell and then be expected to come back."

"Really?" asked Liara skeptically.

Shepard started laughing. "Actually, I'd pass that up if Kaidan started treating me as anyone but Commander Shepard. Sometimes I think he forgets that I'm female."

"Not with what you're wearing now. I believe it will be quite clear to Lieutenant Alenko what gender you are." Liara stepped back to admire Anderson's secretary Carolyn's work. "You look beautiful, Katherine."

"I should be in uniform," said Shepard, inspecting her shoes again and visualizing blisters the size of her thumbnail.

"You're in Alliance colors," she pointed out.

"That isn't the point, Liara. It's still a dress."

"And you're wearing it. We're running out of time." Liara procured a fresh eyeliner pencil. "Let me do your eyes."

"Please tell me you're not talking about embracing eternity. I always get such bad headaches."

"No, Shepard."

As Liara began to carefully draw a line along the crease of her left eye, Shepard said, "It's good to know that we're all still sort of normal, that we can talk baby names and argue about dresses. I don't know where I'd be without you, Liara. I swear, sometimes you're the only sane person on this ship."

"I don't know either," replied Liara, cautiously smudging the corner of Shepard's eye, "but I have the utmost confidence that you would be just fine."

That wasn't the answer Shepard had wanted to hear but she chose not to say so.

Liara continued. "But I know one person who really looks after you." She paused, clearly enjoying the moment and Shepard wondered what the scientist was after. "Jeff Moreau."

"Joker?" Her face jerked back away from the mascara wand Liara had taken out. She stared at her in disbelief and suspicion. "You're kidding, right? God, Liara, haven't you realized that it's the other way around when it comes to me and him?"

"I think it should be noted that you are at your best when you know that another is dependent upon you." Liara seemed perfectly calm. "Besides that, you know that he already reminds you to eat."

"That was one time!"

"But you depend on him in other ways too." Shepard stared at Liara in disbelief as she added, "I think he cares for you. And you did go out with him, that one time…"

"That was a mistake," Shepard leaned her forehead against her hand. "Liara, can't you tell that my personal life is already screwed up as it is?"

"I can see that, Shepard. But I think it deserves to be said that he has always been there for you."

"I know," she said very quietly as though the walls really had ears. "And I think I know what's going on with him, about me. But that night was a mistake and I can't do anything about it. Besides," she quickly looked up, "I can't even remember it! I can't remember it; that's my story."

Liara nodded sympathetically. "But be kind, Katherine."

"Do you have any intention with him, Liara?"

"He makes too many jokes that aren't funny."

Shepard cracked a smile as they left her cabin and started up the stairs to the main deck. Voices echoed down the hull; it sounded as though everyone else was ready to go. She wondered if she should have checked her reflection in some kind of full-length mirror or some substitute before they left the safety of the cabin but she kept on walking down the bridge toward the airlock.

The team was assembled in the space between the cockpit and the airlock: Tali, Garrus, Wrex, Joker, and Kaidan, all those that had been invited. Garrus was the first to notice their approach and, with a smirk, he said, "Well, I already kind of got the idea that all asari aren't hideous but you don't clean up too bad either, commander. It's definitely a change from being covered in mud and geth… fluid."

"Back at you, Garrus," replied Shepard with a grin. She took the opportunity to inspect the appearance of each member of her team and nodded in satisfaction. Her eyes drifted towards Kaidan where he stood next to Joker. He looked, well, handsome as he always did and he smiled at her, definitely letting her know that he appreciated the dress and all it contained but then Joker turned around and Kate Shepard realized that the look on her pilot's face was better than any mirror.

And then he opened his mouth, which of course shattered any illusions: "Gee, commander, I didn't know that you wanted to get all matchy-matchy with my baby. Navy blue and gray, real imaginative. Plus, your hair already kinda matches the weird orange light thing Kaidan has in his workplace."

"Joker," said Kaidan, never taking his eyes off of Shepard, "shut up. She might never do this again if you keep talking. Besides, she's beautiful. I mean, you've always been appealing, Kate, but the dress really, uh, drives it home."

"I never said she wasn't," replied Joker with something more than just being cross; she'd have to analyze it later and figure out what was really going on with him. She also could not help but wonder at Kaidan; to put it flatly, she had thought they'd slept together enough times for him to be able to wrap his head around giving her a compliment without getting all bashful. Shepard's doubts intensified.

Still, she smiled at Kaidan and said, "I'm glad you like it. I think we may be late."

"Counselor Anderson arranged transportation," answered Kaidan as they walked out onto the landing pad. "They're meeting us at C-Sec. I guess we're just waiting for the elevator."

"I imagine the officers down there have seen some pretty interesting things roll through down there since Sovereign's attack." Garrus said before adding with obvious relish, "I'd love to see what kinds of stuff Harkin's trying to pretend doesn't exist."

"Well, maybe when you go back there you can bust his ass for it," replied Shepard with a grin. "Bastard thought I was some kind of stripper."

"Seriously, commander?" said Joker, erupting into laughter. "You gave him hell to pay for it, right?"

"I certainly set him straight," she chuckled, glad that the tension between them seemed to be gone. Things never felt right when she was at odds with her pilot; laughing with him made her feel like she was on solid ground again.

"Look, the sight of Shepard waltzing through their offices in a dress will shock them more than anything they could've found," growled Wrex. "Can we just go and get these ridiculous shenanigans done with so we can all just go home already?"

Shepard smiled at Joker once last time before they all crowded into the elevator and began their descent.