Disclaimers: These ladies don't belong to me, and there is words of love between them, so if that bothers you, turn away now! Run!
Summary: A guarded heart, and a willing heart collide. Who will win out?
I'm supposed to meet her at the temple, our designated rendezvous point, returning from perusing wares of the weapons stall in the market. She hates it if I'm tardy to our reunions. To her, every moment spent apart, she worries. Her mind begins exacting ridiculous scenarios of my demise. But I don't blame her, righting wrongs, saving lives, and dangerous situations have taken up a majority of my time. I like that because it keeps me busy. Busy means I don't have time to dwell in the past, because thinking about the past cripples me. As I round the path to the temples entrance, she meets me at its entrance and whisks me off as if we had no care in the world. Pulling me by the hand, leading me on this tangent of hers; one I had promised I would let her indulge in. I am so glad I did because it was worth the happiness that she radiated on her face. A smile as bright and blinding as the sun. I was able to see that unguarded smile, that had been buried deep by events in our past. It was nice and I hadn't felt this good in a long time. Considering all that we both had been through, I know she hadn't either.
Place after place, she pulled me to and fro. First a beautiful waterfall, then fine dining, then to some pleasant stargazing. We talked and laughed, we laughed and cried, and she reached her hand out to me and laid it in mine. She chipped away at my defenses and exposed my vulnerability, so I let my armor down. I have to say it felt good. I felt lighter; like the world's troubles were no longer on my shoulders and the past had never happened. It was as if we two were merry friends enjoying each other's company for a holiday. Perhaps I let my guard far too removed because she saw it as an opening of sorts. After we retired back to our room, she took the chance.
She revealed her feelings to me in a rush of words and confessions and I was awestruck. How had she fallen for me when I had been so hard on her these past years? Her eyes pleaded for me to accept her, for me to feel the same way about her; I only stared on speechless. My heart is hard and guarded. I had been through enough pain, loss, and disappointment to be wise enough to not subject myself to that again.
"I can't." I say.
I can't be trusted. Who's to say that I wouldn't be off breaking her heart by getting myself killed on a mission before dawn even broke. I tell her that, but she does not accept.
"I don't need your protection. I need you." she says.
I notice a lock of her golden hair fall onto her face from the level of frustration I am causing her. She blows it away with a loud puff of air.
"Stubborn warriors!" she says, miffed at my denial.
She stormed off to the bed like a petulant child and pulls the covers over her violently; as if through tugging it around, she could ease her anger. I retire to a chair by the desk, afraid to anger her further, I keep my distance. I can almost hear her fuming from afar. Sleep slowly and eventually takes her. She rests peacefully on the soft satin bed before me. I rest my feet on a chair nearby and contemplate what just happened today in a chronological time line captivating my mind's eye. Enjoying the events of the day and then troubled by the culmination of the night.
Although she probably doesn't need the sleep, I think she has resorted to it in order to help me feel less pressure. Either that, or her silent treatment has bored her to sleep. I look on at her. My chakram bumps along the side of the chair I sit on. I have been sitting here for candle marks. Carefully, I circle my fingertips around the cold steel and lift it off its hook. I am safe here, we are safe here, I needn't be armed. I place it down quietly on the desk, careful to not disturb her slumber, and begin to survey the room. The room is decadent, more than any other I have been in. I inwardly wince at the fact that I find myself out of my element in this plush scenery, I should really be thrilled. I begin to examine her at rest. Could I possibly return her affections? She has seen me at my worst and we have been there for each other, that much is true.
I stand up to leave the hard surface of the chair and decide to join her at the bed. This isn't the first time we have shared a bed, in fact, we always do; the company is comforting. Smoothing my spot on the right side of the bed, I lift up the covers and slide into my side. The cold sheets feel nice against my heated skin. Luxuriating in the feel of the soft bedding, my mind returns to the woman beside me. I feel bad that I don't feel what she does, but I can't force something like that. I can't just feel the way she wants me to because I don't want to break her heart. It's fruitless, pointless, and unfair to her; no matter what benefits she thinks she would reap. I hear a sigh from her side of the bed, so I turn on my side facing her.
"Aphrodite?" I call to her, knowing she's fully awake and letting her know that I know it.
Her blankets rustle and she turns to me with tousled and mussed hair, her eyes belying the truth of the situation.
She reaches for me, trailing her finger tips along the line of my jaw, and behind to my neck; sending a chill down my spine.
"Xena is gone. Hephaestus is gone. I am here, you are here, and I love you. As much as you don't want to, I know you love me too." she paused, as if in thought for what else to say. "She'll have you in another life or the afterlife Gabrielle, just let me have you in what is left of yours."
I close my eyes in remembrance of Xena's name that still forces a heavy weight on my heart after six years, knocking a breath out of me; as if I were punched in the gut.
Noticing my pain, she falters.
"Don't get me wrong, I miss them too. What we have will not replace that, but what you and I have is special too. Something different and beautiful in its own right. I can't let it slip through my fingers without giving it a chance. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel it, and I will not bring it up ever again." she says, reasoning with my defenses. I worry that she can sense my body's reaction to her touch.
I do love her. I finally admit it to myself. Not exactly like I love Xena, but there is no denying that it is special and hard to resist. Never would I have ever thought that the love goddess would be before me; hoping to win my affection; affection that I can't help but feel like is not mine to give. Her fingers begin to move, softly threading through my hair. She looks deeper into my eyes, hoping against hope that I will not say what she told me to say. The motion of her long, soft fingers on my scalp distracts me as she pulls in closer to me on the bed. So close that her lips gently graze my ear lobes and her soft breasts brush mine.
"Say it." she whispers seductively, her husky voice filling my ears and tickling them. I can hear the fear and the desire in her voice. My hair, and her hair, begin tangling into each other's, as our faces grow ever more closer. Her breath's warm moisture bathes my neck, and I find my resolve toppling. A familiar ache begins to grow in my belly and extending to other parts of me. A rush of adrenaline courses through me, making my body tingle all over.
"I can't say it." I rasp suddenly, surprised at my own admittance. I look meaningfully into her intense eyes, as butterflies flip flop in my gut. My affection is suddenly something I would like to freely give; to lavish her in.
"Then kiss me." Aphrodite demands and pleads for at the same time.
I can't help but obey.
Another place in my heart is opening up for a love that can't be denied. A love that will bandage the ones we have lost and will probably take on a life of its own.
**Author's Note: X/G subbers, please don't kill me :) I just wanted to see how a Gabrielle/Aphrodite ship would feel like. **