Did I wait to long?
The pain in my chest is nearly unbearable.
Is this what a broken heart feels like?
Am I not enough.
Did he ever really care?
Alan you were my first crush and the man I grew to love.
I remember when we first met, my family had been brought over to Tracy island to begin working for the Tracy's, I remember watching you and Fermat hanging by the pool talking and laughing wishing I could join but was to scared to approach.
It was only after your father introduced you to me a few days later that we officially met.
At first I just thought you were a hot head who liked to argue with his father, however as time went on I saw a different side to you, one that loved his family very much and would do anything to protect them, it was round then I gained a feeling that was more than friendship, but too young to understand stand.
As we grew older you and Fermat were sent to boarding school and I was left alone, that's when the drift started happening.
It wasn't till that fateful spring break when the island was under attack that our friendship was back on the mend to what it once was and the feelings that I had felt came rushing back.
As time went on I fell more and more in love with you but I still would not act on my feelings.
So now we come to the present moment.
You had just received your NASCAR license enabling you to race for nascar.
No longer were you a immature 14 year old, but a Greek Adonis of 17, even without being biased you had bypassed your brothers in the looks department with your quiff blond hair sun-kissed skin, beautiful baby blue eyes not to mention the droll worthy 6 pack you seem to be hiding under your shirt, from the hungry looks you received from most of the women in this room and a few men I was not the only one who thought this.
Your friends with the help of your family decided to throw you a massive congratulation party one that would be fit for the son of national treasure and billionaire Jeff Tracy, hosted at one of the most expensive restaurants in Massachusetts, with nearly 50 people present ether family or friends and a couple of sponsors.
Naturally everyone from the island had been invited, it was when we were informed of the celebration did I decide that it was finally time to tell you how I feel.
So that afternoon as I was preparing for the party I spent an hour finding the best dress I owned, styled my hair in loose curls, did my make up all while deciding on how I would tell you of my feelings.
When we arrived I tried to spot you in the crowd that had already gathered however was unable to find you, I did however spot Fermat and his father speaking with Parker and Penelope with a glass of punch in there hands.
Finally after an hour and a half we finally found you speaking to you brothers John and Virgil.
This was the moment, first my parents hugged you and then it was my turn.
I first hugged you and congratulated you, the sent of you aftershave assaulted my nose the sent was masculine yet at the same time still you.
Just as I was about to open my mouth to speak a voice in the mole caught our attention.
Your father had asked you to join him next to the mike.
"Sorry tin tin well talk later okay."
I just nodded.
You went to join your father.
I don't remember much of the speech but it was very moving.
Afterwards just as he's making his way over to me I notice his very shift.
Turning to we're he's looking I notice a girl is running to Alan.
Is it possible to feel your heart break into peaces and feel like you've just been punched in the stomach.
I can only watch as Alan embraces this unknown girl sweeping her of her feet then proceeds to kiss her.
I'm unable to speak, to breath to even comprehend, it's not until I feel the wetness on my cheeks do I realise I'm crying.
My heart feels like it has been pulled from my chest and crushed in front of me.
I quickly excuse myself and head for the toilets unable to look at the scene anymore.
After what feels like an eternity I soon re a merge from the bathroom eyes dry and Kane up re done, those all I want to do is go to bed and never leave.
"Tin tin."
I hear you all my name.
You and the girls are making your way to me.
I have a proper looks at this girl.
Where I have brown skin hers is light, where my hair is brown hers is platinum blonde, her blue eyes contrast with my brown eye's.
You tell me her names Chloe, that you have been together for nearly 6 months, that you both go to Wharton's well she is in the female building.
I want to yell , scream, cry but all I do is nod and smile.
I want to hate you but I can't.
The two of you soon leave to mingle with the rest of your friends and family and once again I am left alone.
A shell of the person I was when I first entered this building.
I waited to Long and he moved on.