Firsts

Chapter 1

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: Not in the cards to own them. I can play at it though.

Author Notes: Elliot's thoughts on Firsts.

Elliot knelt down as his little boy toddled from his mother's arms to his. At ten months taking his first steps was not a surprise to either of them. All his firsts had come early. He had 4 teeth before he was 8 months old. He rolled over and crawled early as well. Elliot fully expected his first full sentence to arrive way before his first birthday. He held out his arms and the little guy lunged into them with a big grin on his face.

"Come here little man. Daddy loves you."

"Da Da." Another first.

"That's right buddy. I'm your dad."

He stood up and swung him high over his head and the baby burst into giggles. He looked down and saw tears shimmering in his wife's eyes. She walked over and threw her arms around the two of them.

"Love you."

"Love you too."

His blue eyes looked deeply into her brown ones.

"Happy?"

"So very happy."

Liv wrapped her arms around him and sighed as she hugged the two men in her life.

Elliot remembered another first: the first time he realized he loved her. His divorce had been final for almost a year and during that time he had begun to look at her differently.

Then one evening they were relaxing in the squad room after solving a really difficult case. Olivia was sitting on the corner of his desk. She had just told some lame joke, tossing his paperweight in the air and catching it. Munch and Fin were all but rolling on the floor and Liv had tears forming at the corners of her eyes as she milked the joke until Elliot was laughing so hard that he snorted. This had sent her and their other partners into more gales of laughter. At that very moment it was as if they were all in slow motion. He looked at Liv, her face glowing and her eyes shining. Her smile and the lilt of her tone when she laughed mesmerized him. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. He was in love with her. He had always loved her, but now she was everything to him. He looked up at her and knew his eyes were speaking volumes. She just froze for a moment. Their eyes locked and they had a silent conversation. Just when he thought he would never breath again, Cragen came in and yelled at them.

"If you're going to sit around telling jokes all night, get out of here and do it in a bar, not my squad room."

They all froze, but then he grinned at them and returned to his office.

"You don't have to tell me twice."

Fin was up and putting on his coat. He noticed Liv and Elliot were in a staring match with each other.

"Hey, you two space cadets wanna go out for a drink?"

Again with the silent conversation.

"Okay, then, I'm outta here. Come on Munch."

Elliot stood up and without saying a word he put on his coat and held Olivia's out for her to put on. She pulled her hair out of the collar and their hands brushed as he settled the coat on her shoulders. Liv looked back at him and smiled.

"Thanks."

"How about I give you a ride home?"

"Okay."

They rode the elevator down in silence and walked to his car. As they went to get in they exchanged yet another look across the roof of the car.

The ride to Liv's was quiet, but they kept stealing glances at each other. When Elliot pulled up in front of her building he turned off the engine. They both spoke at the same time.

"I'll walk you up."

"Want to come up?"

They both laughed. As always they were in sync.

Elliot came around the car and opened her door. He did something he had never done with her before. He reached for her hand and helped her out of the car. Liv looked startled but then smiled and accepted it. He didn't let go as they entered her building. Once again they rode the elevator up in silence. Liv put the key in her door and opened it. They walked in and took off their coats looking into each other's eyes the whole time. Liv went to hang them up and when she turned back Elliot was right there. He took her in his arms and without hesitation he kissed her deeply, tenderly, like it was the most natural thing in the world. He finally pulled back to look at her. She looked up at him and he saw love in her eyes. It dawned on him then that he was about to utter another first. He had loved his ex-wife, but when he married her it was for the baby she carried. He had loved her, but this with Liv was different. This was the first time he had truly fallen in love. He felt his heart speed up as he whispered to her.

"I love you, LIv. I love you so much. I am so in love with you."

"Elliot…"

"You don't have to say it back Liv. It's okay."

"You idiot. I've loved you for twelve long years. Honestly, though, why did you finally realize it today?"

"It was definitely the first time I ever risked acknowledging it. I just looked at you and it was suddenly perfectly clear to me what I had and what I had wanted for so very long. I want this to be the first of so many firsts Liv. I want it all with you."

Elliot's mind returned to the present as he looked down at the beautiful woman and the dark-haired, blue-eyed boy that was squirming in his arms as they hugged. He tickled him and the boy threw back his head and laughed just the way Liv did. He was so blessed, so very lucky to have her in his life. He bent down to kiss her lips and as he melted into the kiss it occurred to him that every time with Olivia was like the first time.