Marik's Legion of Villains PART 6
By: DMEX
Disclaimers apply
Summary: The 6th installment of your favorite group of bumbling idiots trying to get some sort of revenge on someone or something! This time, Marik wants a Slammy!
-Somewhere in Iraq-
(gunfire and screams are heard outside)
Marik (putting on an Army Helmet): Before this meeting is called to order, everyone put on an Army Helmet.
(everybody glares at them)
Marik: Just do it, for God's sake!
Yami Bakura: We're in the middle of a (shotgun blast) war zone, Marik!
Marik: We needed to be more discreet.
Edge: Discreet? One or more of us are about to get killed!
Marik (angry): JUST PUT THE DAMNED HELMET ON!
(everybody puts it on, meanwhile, gunfire explosions and more screaming is heard)
Marik: Good. The Legion of Villains is now called to order.
(gavel bangs)
Yami Bakura: What's with the trophy?
CM Punk: It's a Slammy. I won it for the "Despicable Me" category.
Marik: Wait! You can win an award for being evil?
CM Punk: Won it last year.
Marik: But what did you do to win this Evil Award?
CM Punk: Just watch…
(shows the clip of the nominee)
Marik: What the (EFF!) was that?
Mr. Socko: Can I be in the next Slammy nominations?
Miz (angry): NO YOU CANNOT!
Marik: Seriously, Punk; what the (squirrel chatter) was that?
CM Punk: You haven't watched the rest of it.
(shows the rest of the footage)
Marik: That was something I'd expect out of Eric Bischoff!
Sheamus: He's gut a point dere, feller.
Edge: That's not even right.
Kane: Let me show you something TRULY EVIL!
Edge: Oh, (car crash)…
(shows footage of Kane vs. Undertaker match)
Yami Bakura: That was truly evil…
Mr. Anderson: Aren't we missing a couple people?
Marik: I fired Storm and Rhoode after that Bound For Glory (car alarm). Beth Phoenix left and Abyss is in the (EFF!) hospital thanks to that overgrown monster Crimson!
Kane: Shall I dispose of Punk?
Marik: Get rid of him, he's not EVIL ENOUGH to be in the Legion of Villains.
CM Punk: I kicked Wade Barrett outta THE NEXUS.
Yami Bakura: After you made his friends betray him.
Marik: Back to business, today's order is simple; get me in the Slammies!
Edge: You might wait about 8 or 9 months.
Yami Bakura: We need more replacements.
(Punk is screaming bloody murder in the background)
Stone Cold: WrestleMania is coming up.
Marik: So what?
Mr. Socko: We could have a WrestleMania party.
Edge: We could cheat the Bookies for extra funds.
(horn blares very obnoxiously from outside)
Marik: Tell me it's not who I think it is…
Yami Bakura (grabbing a metal baseball bat): I'll handle this (silent gunshot) bastard outside.
(Kane walks back in, covered in blood)
Marik: You (fart) killed him didn't you?
Kane: Sent his ass to Hell…
-Meanwhile in Hell-
(Punk is being tortured by Luna and Goldust. Punk is screaming for mercy)
-Somewhere in Iraq-
(Yami Bakura comes back covered in some blood)
Yami Bakura: He won't be back for a while…
Edge: Can we get out of this (buzzer) war zone now?
Marik: So it's been decided, we will hold a WrestleMania party and will not invite Eric Bischoff and his group of idiots. And we will have pizza.
(Gavel bangs)
(Meanwhile, somewhere in Florida)
Eric Bischoff: Marik's group is holding a WrestleMania Party and WE'RE NOT INVITED?
Jeff Jarrett (pissed off): AND THEY'RE ORDERING PIZZA WITHOUT US!
Eric Bischoff: Damn them! We'll have a "We Kicked Dixie Carter out of TNA Party" and we'll order Tacos. Tacos are better than Pizza! All in favor.
(everyone in the room is silent)
Jeff Hardy: Whateva floats yer boat…
(END?)