The club was full of people. I pushed my way through the pulsating crowd to the door at the back.
I flung myself out into the cold hard air. I had drunk way too much and should have probably never taken that weed but I'm stupid and reckless. The walls of the club were ice cold and the dirt hung from the cracks in weaving patterns. I wanted to go home but my feet couldn't stand my weight and I flopped to the ground. I pressed my back against the wall and felt the cold nip at my bear skin through the rips in my vest top. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around myself while my head rested gently on the tops of my knees. My eyes flickered as I tried to stay awake. Throwing my head away from my knees and up against the wall woke me up slightly. I breathed deeply and watched the air creep from my mouth to the space in front before it disappeared into the night. Slowly, I lowered my head until my chin rested on the tops of my knees again. I focused my vision and looked straight ahead onto the pile of rubbish that had been dumped there. I scanned through the heap to see if there was anything useful that I could take. Old clothes, furniture, toys, beer bottles and bed sheets were all I could clearly see. I pushed myself away from the wall and onto my knees. I stretched out and began searching through the mound vigorously hoping there was something I could take. Suddenly I felt like I was five-years-old again. It could have been the fact that I was really high but I just sat there laughing and throwing junk around the alley-way. As the pile slowly decreased and my hands had nothing left to grab, I paused and saw there was a hint of light that leaped out from behind some more rotting cardboard boxes. I wadded over and pushed them over with my feet. I leaned forward and grabbed the object. It was a mirror. Hardly any cracks or scratches just a piece of the boarder missing. The light from the streetlamp reflected off the mirror and lit up my face. I tilted it slightly and held it up in front of me.
All I could do was look at the person staring back. Sad, lonely eyes and pale grubby skin. I released one of my hands from the frame and placed one finger onto my cheek and ran it down the curve of my face. I touched my hair and pushed it behind my ears. The crystal blue eyes I had when I was young had faded into a murky grey. My sandy locks had become discoloured and lifeless. My once cherry lips had become a frail and inadequate pink. I couldn't bear to look at my reflection anymore and quickly threw the mirror away from myself. It fell through the air and crashed to the floor. Little diamond pieces of glass got scattered around. Some leaped back into the air before they to fell dead onto the ground. I buried my head into my hands. Memories came flooding back and skipped through my mind. Times of joy and sadness. People who had come and gone. I whipped my hands up to the sides of my head and clenched them tightly. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to drown out all the images. I let myself fall to the floor and I slowly curled up into a ball.
Sometime had passed before I became myself again but it was still cold and dark and the streets were dead. Pressing my palms to the floor I sat upright and looked around. The unwanted items were still strewn around the alley and the broken mirror was still lying there. Everything was a blur and I couldn't focus on what was reality or fantasy. I slid my hand into my pocket to see whether I had my phone. I instantly searched through my contacts until I found the one person I needed to call. I pressed the phone to my ear and counted every beep. "one, two" I whispered. "three, four, five" they stopped abruptly. I could hear a heavy breathing and the noise of lips separating. I gripped my phone tighter and stammered as I tried to speak. There was a voice that said gradually "Effy… is that you?"
There was a long silence before I could reply.
"Freddie... i…i…"
"Are you ok? What's wrong?"
"I love you" I replied slowly
"It's always been you"