Part I

-Trust is a fragile thing. Easy to break, easy to lose. And one of the hardest things to ever get back.-

"Garuh! Concentration!", scolded Master Zoda me and pierced his icy blue gaze into my back. I could literally feel the scorn in them as they bored burning holes of shame into my being.
During his stern tone I winced, because I really hated to cause my master any trouble.
I inhaled deeply and caught the scent of the florishing tulips that were planted all around the pavillion we were sitting under.
There was no wind and the sun was shining.
It was spring and you could practically hear those plants grow.

You're worth nothing more than me, you little beast!

My mind raced, despite my continuing tries to calm me, wildly.
Frustrated, I gritted my teeth and sighed when I still found no peace.

Just do me a favour and try not to 'grace' myself with your precense again. I try to work my way up, unlike you.

My anxiety was alone Obi-Wan Kenobi's fault! He was a padawan, like me, but two years older and considered himself to be the most important being on Coruscant!
And then he called me a spoiled brat who was only Jedi because her grandfather is senator!
My live is only harder because of that.
Grandpa has high expectations of me. It is the only thing he has every asked of me. To be a strong and skilled knight.
I want to prove to him that I can rise above it all; I want to show him that I can be more than the child of the daughter who has betrayed him.

But Kenobi does not understand all of this, of course. Just because he didn't have it easy and lived in poverty doesn't mean that only he can understand something like gratitude or loyalty! He is a Ar**hole. I know despair. I know how it feels to be not enough!

I was furious beyond compare.

So angry that it had an impact on the environment. Within my rage I had unknowingly unleashed the Force within me and created a wave of power that made the pillars of the pavilions shake and several smaller plants uproot around it.

Poor tulips.
I'm sorry.
They had so much before them. Some of the white flowers hadn't even opened their petals yet.
Rest in flower-heaven.

My master was on his feet in an instant, the wave had apparently not even touched him, and grabbed me by the shoulders to get me out of my trance.
"Enough, Garuh! Calm down, you know that anger is the path to the dark side. What troubles you so?", his forehead was creased and eyebrows drawn together in worry.

I trembled as I stumbled to my feet and needed a moment before I understood the question. "Kenobi's arrogance has once again led his actions."
I tried to express myself as a true Jedi - master of my emotions. I don't know if I succeeded. Instead of saying something Master Zoda only lifted his eyebrows.

He had often heard this answer from me, in many versions. He and Master Jinn had, because of my almost daily escapades with Kenobi, that they had to solve every time, become something like friends. There was a calm understanding between them that I – in my youthness – could not unsterstand.

I had seen Qui-Gon Jinn often (secretly found him really intimidating) and heard of him twice as much, but had not yet talked to him personally.
I knew that he was very tall for a man. Of course, even he looked tiny next to my master, but that was because as a Twi'lek he had achieved a size of roughly 2.20 metres.

You can imagine how dwarfed I felt in his precense. But you get used to it. Eventually.

"I'll talk to Qui-Gon about it."
He turned around and ordered in passing:
"Until I get back, you'll meditate here without a break. I hope to hear nothing about another incident." He had phrased it qute nicely. It didn't sound like an order when Master Zola said it like that. But it was. An order with an underlying threat. He'd ground me for life if I did anything stupid.

I knew something like this had to have been coming. Even if it was only Kenobi's fault, I got a penalty. With this I'll never become a Jedi and won't make my grandfather proud. Damn it. I needed to get this idiot out of my system. I can't let him get to me. That's what he wants.

Tying my hair together I sat back down and tried to calm myself.
I should follow Master Zola's instructions. I had already given him enough trouble. But I should concern myself with training now.

"I can think about that later." I muttered softly to myself and was just about to close my eyes as a familiar face entered my vision. I had to stop myself from retching. That twit.

"About what?", a mischievous grin stretched across his face and he raised his eyebrows suggestively. ''Me by any chance?'', he stalked closer, his gangly form relaxed while mine was tense. "Kenobi," my voice was dangerously low, "get lost." I had raised myself from my seat and stood with him at eye level. He dipped his head a bit to make me even more uncomfortable at our closeness.

"What is that? This place isn't yours. But surely the senator can buy it for you. Like everything else in your life. I can be here whenever I want."

He had this twinkle in his eyes, he only wanted me upset and in trouble. But I restrained myself. For now. Obi-Wan had alwyas been the only one to send me over the edge. "It may well be that this place doesn't belong to me. But you disturb my meditation, so I have the right to ask you to go away." I felt that my cheeks were flushed with anger and I saw exactly that he knew it too. ''Oh! Are you blushing?!'', he was taunting me. ''Leave.'', I practically growled.

"Oh, but I won't go." looking at him with narrowed eyes I replied: "You will go."
The following was my death sentence.

"Make me."

The way he spoke it made me furious. As if he was sure that I could not beat him!
I splapped him hard. His head snapped to the side and he held his redding cheek with a surprised squeak.

"You bitch!"

He lashed out at me and tried to pin me down under his weight. I wriggled my arms out and was able to land two more punches in his face.

One to the jaw and the other to the nose. I kicked him off me and tried to hold him down, I did not hesitate to use my fingernails. Red scratches, some deep ones bleeding, stretched across his face and he howled in pain, tightly shutting his eyes to protect them. Kenobi struck out blindly and hit me hard on the shoulder and the cheek. With immense power he grabbed me and then turned back to the top. But I did not want to give my position up, so we ended up rolling arcoss the stony floor.

Our cries had attracted attention and some padawans watched our fight interested. Others were shocked, but did not dare to intervene.

The tawny haired boy pressed his knees into my ribcage, making it hard to breathe. Desperate to get air I kicked his southern regions, to wich he responded by wincing and momentarily stupor. I freed myself and got his jaw again, this time hearing a cracking sound.

Despite that nobody was really winning. We were equal. It was hard to admit it, but it was a fact. While he was stronger I was a quicker thinker and strategist.

Luckily someone had sent for the masters, for our struggle would have gone on; nobody willing to give up.
Master Zola hurried across the field, accompanied by Master Jinn.

"Stop. Now!", neither of us listened to our masters in the heat of the fight, so they had to interfere in our fight and move us away from one another.

Master Zola had first packed Kenobi, so Master Jinn now held me back.

Breathing heavily, I tried to calm myself. Struggling would only make things harder. Only now I registered the pain in my shoulder and my face. I looked over at Kenobi. His jaw looked somehow ... wrong, and his nose was swollen, probably sprained. Because of the scratches he looked like some kind of animal had attacked him.

Good to know I had also left my marks on him.

"What's going on?", Master Jinn raised his voice as he let go of me when he realized that I would not attack Kenobi again.
Mentioned, however, didn't look so calm, but he had no chance against the huge Twi'lek who was my master.

"The beast there beat me! It's only her fault!" Growled the padawan angrily.
"You played for it to happen! You didn't go when I asked you to!" "I'll never let a senator brat tell me anything!" I took a step toward him and felt Master Jinn hold me back with a calm (but firm) hand on my shoulder.

"You-! You are such a pest, Kenobi! You go die!"

A few surprised outcries were heard. What I had just said was unheard of for the Jedi. To wish for someones death, was a request that led directly to the dark side. But I actually didn't care. It was what I felt for Obi-Wan Kenobi in that moment. It was just like him to hold onto prejudices. Everything would be easier without him. He was the only one who could really drive me to insanity. He was always responsible for me having any punishment.

I would be a model student, the perfect padawan if it wasn't for Kenobi angering me.

He destroyed everything.

I looked into his blue eyes. They reflected back what was seen in mine. He never looked behind the surface. From the first moment on when we met in the temple had he antagonized me. Had never given me any chance. The moron just judged me by my rang. Not my character. At first that fact irrated me, but after a while I stopped myself from caring. If he wanted war he could have it.

But I really wish he would just disappear and never again set a foot on Coruscant.

"That goes too far!", I looked with wide eyes at my master.

He never had lost his calm like that. "Garuh and Obi-Wan, you two are going to get along or else I will tell the Council about this accident! Is that clear?"

I nodded furiously, glancing at Kenobi seeing him doing the same. This thing could guet us kicked out of the Jedi-Order.

And Master Zola could be really frightening if he wished. He exited the field as quick as he came and left only Master Jinn, me and Kenobi standing in the pavillion. There was an uncomfortable silence in which I tried to locate the place on by body that hurt most. Definitly my shoulder.

"I'm going...I'm going to go.", Kenobi stuttered a bit, he was, like me quite shaken at Master Zola's outburst. I guessed he was heading to the medical centre. He limped a bit. I smiled. My doing.

"I came here to talk with you about Obi-Wan, Garuh, but I see that there is a better time for that. I have to go know, I still have matters to attend to.", why would Master Jinn want to talk with me about the jerk?

But I nodded and told him a farewell. I should concern myself with other matters right now. Master Zola seemed really disappointed in me. I hoped I could sort this whole mess out...somehow. It wouldn't be easy. I had fucked up. So I was willing to take any punishment he would give me in return for his forgiveness.

After a few hours of walking around and trying to organize my thoughts a bit, I went to get my shoulder treated. I will admit that I partly waited so long because I didn't want to run into Obi-Wan.

Nobady there asked me why I came. I suppose everybody knew about the little incident by now. News spread like wind here. The only reson why Master Windu or Yoda hadn't summoned us, was that our masters had probably talked them out of it. Especially Master Windu. He could be a bit rash at times.
As I went to bed I knew I would not sleep, for my mind was still in turmoil. Dark figures invaded my dreams, shifting them into nightmares and I considered that it could be a sign of dark times coming for me.
I was right.
But where there is darkness, there is also light.
I couldn't have possibly known what unlikely person was going to guide me through this endless night.

In the morning I could only remember a blue sky looking down at me.

A/N: I own nothing, but my OC's. This is an AU.

So, here is my first real story and I don't really know yet where this is going...but I hope you'll like it.

Reviews help me get better, so please leave one.